The crew of the Normandy sat in the waiting room of Huerta Memorial hospital, waiting for news about their CO. They didn't speak, instead they just sat in silence, staring into the walls. It was hard for them to comprehend why she would want to commit suicide or at least, that's what the Doctors said happened. She had taken so many pills, combined with the alcohol and red sand in her system, it was a miracle she was alive at all.
Each of them wracked their brains, trying to figure if there was a clue that they had missed. Was she feeling low? Depressed? Anxious? They didn't think any of those things applied to her. If anything, it seemed her life was going great, even after she had split with Garrus and she was adjusting to her new role in the Alliance. They just didn't understand it.
After an hour of sitting there, Dr Chakwas entered the room, causing everybody to stand up and crowd around her. "So, what's the prognosis, Doc?" James asked.
"She's stable and mostly conscious. They want to keep her in for a few days, just to observe her, then she can go home." She gave James a hug as she knew he was still shocked at finding her in that way. "James, go home with Steve. You need time to rest."
James and Steve went back to Shepard's apartment. While Steve went straight to bed, James decided to go to her study to drink. It was there he decided to call JD, to tell him what had happened to her.
He sat at the terminal, waiting for him to pick up. He didn't answer the first time, so he tried again. Eventually he answered, much to James' frustration. "JD?"
"James? Weren't expecting you to call."
James sighed, somewhat annoyed at his friends indifference. "It's about Shepard."
JD paused, deathly silence hanging between them. "What about Shepard?"
"She took an overdose. It was close call."
JD stuttered, letting out a whimper. "I'm afraid that I'm to blame. I haven't been very responsive to her lately."
"What happened?" James asked.
"My wife's parents came to see me in hospital. It seems they are gutted that I didn't die. I shut Shepard out. I didn't want to burden her with my pain." JD started to cry. "I'm so stupid."
"Jay, it isn't your fault. Shepard has so many demons. I don't know what happened, but she just went off the deep end. I'm surprised that she held on this long."
"I have to go. My therapist has come for my appointment. Look after her for me."
"I will. Take care of yourself."
JD had lied about the therapist. What he planned to do was crazy, but he was due to be released in a week any way. He felt as fit as he ever would be again, it was time to leave.
Shepard had been in hospital for five days before the doctors would consider releasing her. While the drugs had left no permanent damage on her body, the drugs had left a temporary side effect, meaning that she slept more than usual. Her appetite was practically non-existent, and she appeared to be hallucinating. While the visions had decreased, she was still very unfocused, so the doctors weren't willing to release her until she was more lucid.
She was dozing off listening to some Asari music that Liara had brought in for her, it seemed to help her relax more, when she heard the door to her room open, but she had no energy to look up to see who it was. She sighed as a gentle hand stroked her hair and cheek. A tender kiss was pressed into her temple, hot breath tickling her ear. "I'm here, little red." A voice whispered.
"J…" She breathed out, as sleep claimed her again.
The next couple of days were a blur for Shepard. At one moment she was in a hospital bed, then she had a vague memory of James carrying her out of the hospital to the comfort of her own bed in her apartment. She felt happy to be home, back were it was safe. After a day of mostly sleeping, she finally managed to wake up fully, still foggy but awake enough to grab the glass of water by her bed, to take a long drink. It was then she smelled the lure of bacon coming from the kitchen.
She gently manoeuvred herself out of the bed, planting her feet on the wooden floor. Gingerly getting to her feet, she stretched, letting out a deep sigh. She made her way downstairs to the kitchen, expecting to James or Steve. But, she surprised to find an entirely different kind of gorgeous man frying some bacon and eggs. "Major Coats?" She asked in surprise.
He turned to her, surprise that she was awake. "Hey, little red. Couldn't resist the lure of a full English?" He smiled, giving her a cheeky wink.
Shepard felt her legs wobbly as that thick gravely accent sent tingles up her spine. "JD?"
"One and the same." He plated up some food on to two plates, before he moved to Shepard, guiding her to a seat at the breakfast bar. "Sit and eat something."
She sat down in the seat, looking at the plate in front of her. An angry growl from her stomach was audible as she looked at the food, taking in the smell. It didn't take her long to clear her plate and she eagerly devouring the second helping that JD offered. "We need to talk."
"Yes, we do. Come to the sofa." He took her hand, leading her to the sofa. They settled down, JD propping his injured leg up on the coffee table, to ease the ache. "I'm sorry I've been distant, Elle. My former in laws came to see me. They blame me for my wife's death and it just sent me into a spiral. You want to know something sad?"
"Tell me?" The look he gave Shepard nearly made her cry. "What is it?"
"I considered overdosing on my pain meds. I was going to do it. Then James called me. When knew what you had done, I discharged myself and got transport here. I had to be with you."
"I saw Garrus." She cried, sobbing gently, hugging her knees. "He begged for a second chance."
JD pulled her into his arms, caressing her hair. "What happened, Elle."
"Seeing Garrus and you being distant. I just felt so useless." Her breath hitched, and she wiped her tears away with a shaky hand. "I started to drink. I went out to a club and went overboard. I had sex with six guys in one night and ended up doing red sand. When I woke up in the morning, I could see myself in the mirror. I hated what I saw."
The two of them laid on the sofa for hours, letting out all the pent-up emotion that had plagued them for so long, until they fell asleep. Shepard woke up first to the sound of JD's heart beating in a steady rhythm. There was something soothing about listening to thumping beat. The soft groaning of her name drew her attention up to his face, focus on the scar that marred his left cheek. She traced the line of the scar, realising the shape was like half an outline of a love heart. He was a beautiful man, standing at 6 foot 2, with broad shoulders, and taut muscles. They had spent weeks talking to each other and now he was asleep next to her as she studied him in detail.
Everything that went bad in her life seemed to offer up an apology for her suffering. Lately, her apology took a human form of an English Major that listened to her worries, held her as she cried. "You must be an angel." She whispered, laying her head over his heart, soothing her back to sleep.
JD opened his eyes, looking down at her, "No angel here." He whispered, pressing a kiss into her palm. "Just someone who's in love with you." He pulled her tighter to him, cocooning her within his arms. He couldn't chase her demons away, but he would make sure she wasnt alone when she had to fight them.
