We'll always have Paris -Casablanca
Monday morning started off appallingly. There was no hot water to be found in my apartment, like anywhere, and the janitor lazily informed me it would take at least a week to fix. After taking a freezing cold shower that could rival taking a dip in the Atlantic, I caught my fingernail on two sets of pantyhose causing me to have to go barelegged and I spilled O.J all down my skirt. Of course all this had to happen on the day Stefan was due to start at Salvatore Corp. and I was supposed to be there in the morning to help the transition. I was, of course, late.
Damon's office walls were all glass so as I arrived I was comforted to see no sign of the other brother yet, but only Damon with his patent leather shoes perched on his desk and talking animately into the phone. I quietly opened the door to enter and shrugged apologetically in response to his raised eyebrows.
"Great speaking with you Miranda, i'll talk to you soon. Okay... you too, bye now."
I stared at him as he placed the phone back into it's cradle, not really believing what I was hearing. "Wait, Was that Miranda... as in my mother Miranda?" I asked incredulously, wondering what my mother and Damon could possibly have to converse about.
He grinned "The one and only." He lowered his feet back to the floor and stood up, stretching with his hands reaching high above his head. "We talk sometimes, I'll have you know I'm a very good listener Elena. And we like to trade our top-secret jelly recipes".
Shaking my head in disbelief, I started "Uh huh, I'm sure you do. How did you even-". I threw my hands up in surrender "You know what? I'm not even going to ask, it's way too early for this. Stefan isn't here yet? "
Damon pulled a face "No, lucky for you who's extremely tardy, he's also late."
"Yeah, I'm sorry about that. There was a whole hot water debacle and my janitor is dragging his feet." Walking over to pick up his tie from where he had carelessly strewn it on the back of a chair, I looped it around his neck and concentrated on knotting it. "Can you ever keep these things on for more than five minutes? I feel like I'm constantly putting them back onto you."
He shrugged, smiling "They're constricting and I don't do constricting." His eyes watched the top of my head as I worked "Ready for your first day of freedom and for king of the hair products to take some of the load off?"
"Damon" I warned, finishing off the tie and patting his chest twice "We talked about how you were going to give this a fair chance remember? And that means being moderately polite to him."
"Oh but I can have a little fun, can't I?"
I glanced up meeting his dancing eyes and couldn't help replying with a wide smile of my own "Just be good okay?". His eyesight flickered to something over my shoulder and I turned around to see Rose standing in the doorway. Realizing what it must of looked like to her with my hands still resting on his chest, I blushed and moved my arms back to my side, fully aware my nervous reaction made me look even guiltier.
"Excuse me" she muttered as she spun on her heel and walked back down the way she came.
Damon made a move to follow her, but knowing it was my fault she had gotten the wrong idea I stopped him from advancing "Hold on, let me." Maybe she would respond better to a fellow female or something.
"Rose wait!" I called, chasing her down and catching up. "That wasn't what it looked like" I babbled, wincing at the overused platitude.
She crossed her arms "Elena, look, I don't know what's between the both of you". Shaking her head, she corrected herself "Okay no, I have a fair idea, but I don't really know and I feel like I'm caught up in the middle of something I shouldn't be."
"There is nothing untoward going on between us" I protested, mortified that I had somehow caused a negative impact on her relationship with Damon. "I promise."
Running her hands through her layered short haircut she laughed softly "Oh there's always going to be something going on, whether you choose to acknowledge it or not." Stopping the objections I'm sure she knew were about to come from me, she confessed "Believe it or not, I went into this with my eyes open. I wasn't aware of you of course, but I knew Damon wasn't the kind of guy that was going to fall for me or be all hearts and flowers, and thankfully we're very much alike. We have fun, but that is as deep as my feelings go."
"Oh" I replied dumbly, not sure how to take what she was confiding.
"Still, the real deciding factor was after a night of drinking too much he called me your name while we were in bed together, that was quite the cherry on top. A little degrading of course, but at least I knew the score." Concluding sedately, she cited "I can deal with it if it's just a one sided infatuation from him, but if it's returned? I think I should bow out." She handed me a small wicker basket covered with a checkered cloth "I brought him some lunch, will you tell him I'll call later?"
I wasn't even going to pretend I was shocked by her admission, Damon had told me flat out to my face about his feelings and I shouldn't be surprised by them not magically disappearing like we had been pretending. Although, it was unfortunate they had to manifest themselves in bed. Forcing a smile, I ensured "I'll pass along the message". I began to beleive everyone but me could see that Damon and I were just magnets with no hope of avoiding each other.
Stefan suddenly appearing warily at my shoulder served the dual purpose of distracting me from watching Rose exit and enabling me to yet again evade the train-wreck of what was going on in my personal life, I was sure my perpetual insistence of pushing everything to one side would come back to bite me in the ass in the most spectacular of ways. "Here, you like chocolate chip cookies?" I offered the bakery treats to Stefan after removing them from Rose's basket, knowing Damon found them too sickly. I predicted gloomily "You'll probably want to take this chance to eat, you may not get another one for a while."
"Um, yeah. Thanks" he accepted the cookies from my hand after deciding if I was serious or not and took a small bite of one.
"And what time do you call this brother?" Damon asked, strolling out of his office and grinning wickedly as he thumped Stefan on the back, way harder than what was perhaps imperative.
Stefan sputtered on some crumbs and wiped them from the corner of his mouth "My babysitter isn't exactly reliable." He faced Damon with a resurgence of pride in his eyes "I had to make sure Lydia was taken care of. I'll do my best to make sure it doesn't happen again."
Already losing interest in his excuses, Damon waved his hand and walked away, calling behind him "You do that. I have a meeting I have to be at, Elena's going to start showing you the ropes."
We watched his retreating back for a beat and I mulled over the fact that Stefan must realize he has to take whatever abuse is thrown at him without retaliation for the sake of his child, but also in some twisted way must feel like he's atoning for past mistakes. "Alright" I ordered, not really sure on how to operate around the younger Salvatore. "We can start with how Damon likes his documents organized."
I gave a brief overview of the most mundane, simple tasks he would have to learn to get him through the everyday stuff. I handed him a box of papers and watched as he reached for the pink stapler, eager to show he was worthy at something. "That's my stapler" I snipped, passing over a basic black one for him to replace it with.
"I'm sorry" he took the object from me, eyes wide.
"No, god, I'm sorry" I laughed, humiliated over my reaction "Please feel free to use the pink one, I don't know what I was thinking. It's just weird, you know?". I abruptly realized what my disconcertion was about; it had been just Damon and I for five years, and now with Stefan in the picture I was being a child about sharing his brother.
His face lightening, he stated knowingly "Feeling a little territorial huh?"
"Something like that" I admitted. "Can we start over?"
Nodding eagerly, he embarked on his work "Sure, don't worry about it."
After that icebreaker things became significantly easier and friendlier. Stefan was a quick learner, anxious to please and the tension between us evaporated. Before I knew it my half-day was over and it was time for me to head home to my newly acquired time off. From here on out, Stefan would be doing Mondays and Tuesdays while I still possessed the remaining three days.
"Hey Mr. Salvatore" I whistled, sticking my head through Damon's door. "I'm off, anything you need before I go?"
Damon's eyes rose from the laptop screen he had been studying "No, I'm sure you've left me in capable hands". He amended "Well, as capable hands as Stefan can make." He playfully glared at me "And what's with this 'Mr. Salvatore' crap? You haven't called me that in private for a very long time."
"Just trying to set a good example for the newbie" I winked. "Now I think I'm going to go home and fight with my janitor some more."
"No need" he informed. "I called Mr. Wynn, we had a very nice long talk and he's fixing your water heater as we speak."
"Damon, not that I'm not completely grateful but you didn't have to do that." Damon's propensity to repair all of the predicaments in my life left me feeling even more in debt to the man I could never hope to fully repay, if not a little incompetent.
He scoffed and jerked his head towards the exit "It was nothing. Now, go on, get out of here and relax."
"Alright, I'm going, i'm going".
Turns out my first free couple of days weren't as productive as I'd hoped. Without fail, every time I sat down to try to write or to do some chores i'd have either of the Salvatore brothers on the line; Damon complaining about his new PA's supposed incompetency and Stefan panicking over his boss's absurd demands. Apparently, Damon had mysteriously developed a taste for a certain coffee you could only get clear across Manhattan, and thought it was completely reasonable to expect his brother to return with it within twenty minutes. Often times I'd have one on hold while the other was bitching about him.
Wednesday came swiftly and it was nearly a relief to have something to do again. Unluckily, there was a brief day trip to New Jersey planned which meant we were taking the company plane, a little Cessna make that I've never felt easy flying in. Normal passenger jets? Sign me up, no problem. A tiny aircraft that felt like you were dancing on the whim of the wind? I avoided at all costs. The trip today was one I couldn't bail on however.
Just as I was opening my front door to leave, a large tote-bag in hand, I was forced back into my apartment by a body. "John" I proclaimed, stumbling backwards and dropping my luggage. Uncle John, my father's brother, was a raging alcoholic with a gambling problem that wouldn't quit and only really appeared when he wanted something. He was nomadic, sleeping on friend's sofas up and down the East Coast and the last time I had ran in to him in New York, he ended up 'borrowing' my diamond earrings to pawn for cash. "Now is really not a good time, I was just going out the door" I hinted, hoping I could refrain from meeting him again for another couple of years.
"Now is that anyway to greet your favorite relative?" he slurred, closing the door behind him and grinning sleazily. Guess he was in the middle of one of his infamous benders.
I let him wrap his arms around me for a moment, before struggling out of his grasp. "Let's get this over with. What will it be this time? $50, a $100?"
He looked contrite at my correct assumption for all of a second, before admitting "I just need a little bit of help, I have these loan sharks on my back and if I could shake them off everything would be peaches and cream again."
"How much John?" I asked tiredly.
"Forty thousand" he rushed out. "I'll get it all back to you, I promise."
I stared at him in complete shock "Forty thousand dollars? How do you even rack that much up? I'm sorry, there's no way I can help you with that kind of amount."
"Aren't you close with that Salvatore guy? He must make that much in like an hour." Beads of sweat broke out on his hairline and I could hear the desperation rising in his voice, obviously I was one of his last ditch attempts to get the cash. "You want me to beg? You have the connections."
"Even if I could, I wouldn't. This isn't his mess to clear up, nor is it mine." Laughing at his audacity, I put my hand on his arm intending to guide him back out of the door "I think it's time for you to leave, I hope you can get the help you need."
Unmistakably enraged by my hands on him and my flippancy, he whirled around taking me by the arms with a remarkably strong grip for someone under the influence. "John, you're fucking hurting me" I spat out, trying to wiggle away from his white-tipped fingertips biting into my flesh.
In all the stunts I had known my uncle to pull, I had never seen him violent before. But in that moment, caused by desperation and rage he raised his arm and struck me across the face, inciting pain to flower and pop along the cheek bone. I brought my fingers to softly touch under my eye, wincing "Get out. Now. Or i'll call the police, family be damned".
"Oh shit, I didn't mean to" he blustered, as if he wasn't in control of his own body. He lifted a hand as if he was going to comfort me but thought better of it after seeing my expression and left in a hurry, throwing glances over his shoulder until he was out of sight.
I had about two seconds to collect myself before pushing it all to the back of my mind, something I was getting exceptionally good at, and drive to the small airport we were scheduled to leave from. Before I got out of the car, I looked in the rear view mirror and frantically piled as much compressed powder as possible over my cheek, irritated at it's inability to hide the contusion that was already forming in a prism of colors.
Damon stood waiting for me at the flight of stairs that came down from the airplane door, hand out ready to take my bag. I bent my head forward, hoping against hope my hair would shield the injury from him and the inescapable prying questions that would follow. No such luck.
"Jesus Christ Elena" he exclaimed, tucking my hair behind my ear to get a clearer view of my face. "What the hell happened to you?"
"It's nothing serious, don't make it a big deal. I slipped and fell."
"Onto someone's fist?" he quipped incredulously. As he took hold of my arms in an attempt to get me to look at him, I recoiled as his hands brushed over the marks left over from John. Disconcerted, he rolled up my sweater sleeves, his face blackening as he took in the clear as day fingerprint impressions covering my forearms. He placed a gentle hand under my chin, tilting my head to the left and then to the right "Don't lie to me".
Appreciating he would never let this drop now, I nodded my consent "I'll tell you inside, we need to get going." He unenthusiastically complied and followed me up the stairs into the body of the plane, stopping only to grab something from the small refrigerator. As we sat down and buckled up, Damon produced the object; a flannel filled with ice.
Without permission, he tenderly pressed the ice-pack under my eye, the sweet relief of the cold more than worth it. "I'm waiting Elena." he admonished sternly. I can't help but be reminded of a situation in very similar circumstances after Damon had been arrested, the roles of the first-aider reversed.
Damon knew of John's background and was conscious of the fact he wasn't exactly wholesome. "My uncle was in town, he needed a sizable amount of money and got aggressive when I denied his request." I flinched as he shifted the ice "Julia Roberts sure hit the nail on the head when she said guys know exactly where to hit a woman on the cheek to make your eye explode."
"Wait until I get my hands on him" he threatened, his jaw clenching. "That asshole is in for a world of hurt."
I smoothly replaced his hand on the ice and leant back into the leather chair. This version of him scared me the most; unpredictable and belligerent Damon never listened to reason and usually ended up hurt himself. "No. I mean it Damon. I don't want you going near him, it's more trouble than it's worth." I soothed, talking him down. "I wont see him again for a very long time, I'm sure."
Crossing his arms, he bowed at my pleas "Fine, we'll do it your way for now, but if I hear he's in New York again, all bets are off."
I made a non-comiital murmur. "We've tried to help him so many times and he just doesn't want it. My parents won't have anything to do with him anymore, which is probably why he came straight to me" I related, needing to get the story out. "I can't even tell my Dad about his money troubles, he'd be so disappointed."
"How about I help out a little? I could give John a loan and also make sure he gets some professional help" he suggested confidently. "Not for his welfare, but for your family's. So something like this doesn't happen again."
Gratitude rose up in my chest at his unadulterated offer but at the same time my heart sunk. This was exactly why I didn't want to tell him what had happened to me this morning. The water heater and offering to pay off my uncle to the tune of $40,000 and countless other things he had done for my benefit all swum together in my mind. I needed to prove to myself and everyone else I could survive without Damon Salvatore cleaning up my messes. "Thank you Damon, but no" I firmly declined his proposal. "If the issue surfaces again, it's something I need to fix myself."
"Alright" he nodded skeptically. "Just know the offer is on the table."
"So" I began, trying to change the subject. "Tell me all about how Stefan is working out."
He tipped his hand in a 'so-so' motion and admitted begrudgingly "He's not the complete worst." Elaborating, he said "He still gets a lot wrong though, he's no Elena Gilbert."
Trying not to smile too hard and aggravate my cheek at his pseudo compliment, I replied "Well at least you haven't killed each other yet. I suppose that's progress."
Soon, we both drifted into light naps for the short hop across states and awoke in slightly better moods. The conference thankfully went well and most importantly; quickly. Heading back home in no time at all, I watched as the clouds we were flying through became stormy as they filled with rain and I pulled the shade on my window shut as my slight phobia of flying in this ridiculously tiny plane returned.
The first bout of turbulence hit as we flew over the NY state border. Lightly jolted, I glanced up from reading Vogue and automatically looked at Damon in the seat facing me; who only shook his head and smiled reassuringly in return. I forced myself back to reading about 'This Spring's Must Have Skirts', licking my finger to turn the pages.
Five minutes later, another robust jerk hit, this time powerful enough to push the plane at least a few feet to the side. The tub of peanuts on my tray-table tipped and spilled, rolling unnoticed down the aisle. Damon took a draught of his bourbon, swishing it around his mouth; a tell-tale sign of him chewing something over.
As the rain started to lash against the side of the plane, a steady rattle emerged; one that wasn't letting up. The pilot came crackling over the intercom "Nothing to worry about folks but we're about to head into an electrical storm and we need to make sure everyone's seatbelt is secure." I obeyed and pulled the end of my seatbelt tight, lowering my head while trying to take deep steady breaths.
Damon took a loose hold of my hands, rubbing a soothing pattern over my knuckles with his thumb. "Elena look at me." he instructed calmly. "Look at me" he repeated, finally getting me to glance up. "Nothing's going to happen to you okay?".
Then as if it was doing it purposely to defy Damon's promise, the plane dropped, rose and then dropped violently again. As the lights heart-stoppingly flickered on and off, the pilot's voice sounded around the cabin once more; noticeably more troubled this time "We're going to go ahead and schedule a emergency landing at closer airport. Just a safety precaution."
"Do not look away from me" Damon advised, intensely holding my stare and gripping my hands tighter. His face drained and I knew the outlook wasn't looking good if it was effecting him as well "It's just me and you and nothing else is going on."
As the plane buffeted from side to side and the roaring surrounded us, I never broke eye contact. "Your tie" I pointed out hysterically.
"What?" he looked down at his chest, confused.
"You're wearing a tie, you hate them. You have to take it off." I clarified, panic entering my tone and not really being sure why it was so important I told him that.
"Okay, you're losing it" he muttered, concerned. Trying to distract me and failing miserably, he joked weakly. "Hey, you're going to have a hell of a story to take back to Caroline. She eats this kind of shit up".
"Oh God, we're going to die".
This time he moved his hands up to cup my face tightly "We. Are. Not. Going. To. Die. You wouldn't have such bad luck to have to die with only me for company."
He was teasing again but his words triggered something visceral. Romance aside, the bond between us ran far deeper than I had ever intimated before. To be melodramatic for a second, if these were my last moments on earth I couldn't think of one other person who i'd want more beside me. Damon, although obviously shaken up himself, had not allowed himself to reveal any of his discomfort; thinking only of me. That creed of his mirrored how we had always acted in each other's lives, to protect and ride out the storm together. Not that I hadn't appreciated that observation time and time again in our years together but the magnitude it carried this time changed. There was something almost tangible that linked us and it couldn't or wouldn't be ignored.
As the pilot spoke to inform us that we were beginning our descent to taxi on the replacement runway, I knew that if we escaped this I had a decision to make; a bullet to bite. Only when the wheels roughly touched down on the tarmac did I allow myself to breath again and let go of Damon's clasp, flexing my fingers from the stiffness.
"See, I told you we'd be fine" he bragged, only a hint of his usual smugness evident.
"I think I'm going to be sick."
There had been an SUV waiting for us to drive the now lengthened journey back home and without verbalization I understood I would be staying over at Damon's tonight. There was just a natural compulsion to not be separated after what we had experienced together, trivial as it may of seemed after the fact. We rode out the trip in silence, the rush still pulsing through our veins and for the first time since Las Vegas it felt perfectly normal to slip back into our old roles as sidekicks, partners in crime, cohorts or the million other descriptions that could be used to define us.
Staring in the spare bedroom's en suite mirror at my reflection, I splashed some cold water on my face and ignored the yellowing bruise covering my left cheek; it's cause seemed so far away and unimportant now. Wiping away the day's makeup, I tried hard as I could to comprehend Damon's predilection to seeing me fresh-faced, I couldn't.
Exhaustion was pressing down on me, the bone-crushing kind of tired you get when you're still recovering from an overwhelming event. But I pushed through it and sauntered downstairs to do what needed to be done before I lost my adrenaline-fuled backbone.
Damon was standing facing the lit fireplace as I took the last carpeted step into the living room. Sensing me enter as I fathomed he would, he took a sip from one of his numerous crystal tumblers and without turning around ruminated "I'm selling the plane, about time I listened to you and got a bigger jet."
"Yeah, sure" I replied vaguely, not really listening. While he prattles about possibly replacing his pilot, I angle him to look at me using his shoulders "Just shut up for a second okay? I need to try something." Bouncing onto my tiptoes, I search his eyes observing the bewilderment running rampant in them and then put my hand on the back of his neck, slowly pressing my lips against his.
I'd meant for it to be sweet and brief, only a brush of me against him and for a moment he stands unyielding. And then all at once before I have a chance to consider pulling away he grabs my waist roughly and yanks me into him, his tongue running along my bottom lip and delving into the contours of my mouth. It's only when he drags himself away from me that I can fully comprehend I was standing in my cotton PJs making out with Damon Salvatore, and it hadn't been near long enough. I can still taste him; hunger and possibility.
"Sweet Jesus, Elena" he shakily murmurs, his forehead resting against mine. "What was that? Some kind of PTSD? You're still in shock from today, we're both just shaken up."
I gain some sort of courage from his uncertainty, I'm ready for this conversation now. I ask softly "Do you still love me?"
His eyes deaden and he removes himself from such close proximity "Please don't ask me that, It's not fair."
"Damon" I breath out.
"You want the truth? Then i'll tell you but don't blame me when you can't handle it, because it didn't work out so well the first time I spilled everything to you like you were my priest". He cups my face ensuring I can do nothing my listen to what I'd asked for "I'm so whipped by you it's not even funny. I've tried to move on, and no matter how many woman I use to forget, your face is the only one I see. Yes, I still love you Elena". Pausing for effect, he continues " I know you don't love me, but if you could give me a chance, just once."
As he's chosen to be honest and bare himself, I return the respect "You're dangerous Damon. You're abrasive, stubborn and temperamental and that's not even touching on how fast you go through woman". Defeated, his hands drop and I can already sense him withdrawing. I use my finger to tip his chin up "You're also good, fiercely loyal, protective and nobody can make me laugh like you can. And whatever I do I can't seem to shake you, in any sense of the word."
His eyes search mine "So what's the problem?"
"I'm scared Damon, I'm terrified to open myself up to you fully. What if I just become one of your notches? I work for you, how could we continue that if everything went sour?"
"Sounds to me like you're just using a hell of a lot of excuses to stop you going after what you want" he accuses, a small amount of humor reentering his tone. "I can't convince you of any of those things, you'd have to let me prove it. You'd have to decide if it's worth the risk."
I nod, realizing he's correct, as he is 99% of the time "You were right; I don't love you Damon, I haven't let myself...at least not yet. But maybe I can learn to catch up?"
"What are you saying?" He's grinning now.
The fear has dulled, as if all it was waiting for was me to be candid and open. "Well, how about a date?" I ask, speaking shyer then I'd intended.
He laughs, eyes crinkling "A date I can do"
For tonight I'm going to stop worrying about how this is all going to work out or if I'm going to regret it, and for once I'm just a girl standing in front of the boy she likes. Tomorrow I can panic over what i've done, the step i've taken.
"You know" he remembers cockily, wrapping his arms loosely around my shoulders. "That kiss has been a long time coming, about five years overdue."
"I've had it on hold for you since the first time we went out to dinner and you got me drunk on that hideous scotch" I teasingly shoot back, equally as brash.
Nodding in faux agreement, he acknowledges "Oh I thought it'd be my fault." He leans in so close I can feel his breath on my mouth "Seems we have some catching up to do."
"Is that so?" I whisper, putting my lips a hairbreadth away from his. Just as he leans in, I deviate and place a soft kiss on his cheek, skipping out of reach. "Goodnight Mr. Salvatore."
He frowns, but his eyes are sparkling "Goodnight Ms. Gilbert."
Seems today was one for firsts.
A/N- Phew! hope that wasn't too long for anybody. Elena had a busy day and she's only just allowing herself to feel the full extent of her feelings. Next chapter Lydia makes an appearance and we get some Uncle Damon. The fact that anyone bothers to read this much less review it means the world to me, as cheesy as that sounds. I really can't put my thanks into words and I hope I managed to reply to every review. Along with my twitter (Summerw12344) I would love to add you all on Tumblr, (all-thisdevotion). See you soon! x
