Chapter Seven

Morning Breath


Cordelia lied on her back on the comfy bed, Robin's head rested on her shoulder as his disheveled white hair splayed over the brown pillows. She considered getting up but didn't want to wake him. "I don't think I ever repaid him for that breakfast he made." Cordelia pondered to herself until she was rudely interrupted by the movement of Robin's hand. She worried he would try something stupid, but he was simply just combing his fingers through her unkempt hair. Cordelia glanced at Robin's face and sure enough, he was still asleep.

She continued to formulate a way to repay him for that breakfast while Robin's relatively soft hand ran through her hair until she was, again, rudely interrupted by his hand, slowly moving down her back. "Is he going where I think he's going?" Cordelia was correct, as his hand stopped its downward movement once it wedged itself between her butt and the mattress. "Are you kidding me?" Cordelia mumbled to herself as Robin's hand groped her apparently voluptuous rear, a boyish smile creeping on his face as he continued unconsciously.

Cordelia folded her arms as she frowned, the grabbing of her butt continuing to irk her. "Well, he seems infatuated with my posterior, so that's something." She internally debated whether to wake him or not, as she was almost at her wit's end. "Wait, this gives me an idea." Cordelia stood up and exited the bed, a look of discomfort on Robin's face as he groaned. "Oh grow up already," Cordelia said aloud as she walked over to her black yoga pants that she brought with her, her legs feeling less sore than before.

She pulled the pants up her legs, the waistline making a 'thwacking' sound as it clamped around her waist. Robin stirred just from that sound alone, opening his eyes slightly as Cordelia crawled onto his chest. She lewdly smiled at him, wearing nothing but pants as she pulled her head next to his. "If you don't like this, I don't know what else will," Cordelia whispered in his ear as she pulled her head back.

"What exactly are you doin- Mmh!" Robin was cut off by Cordelia planting her plump butt directly on his face, not a single moment was given for him to protest, as his mouth and nostrils were both squashed against her posterior. "What the hell?!" Robin thought as he struggled for air, his chest getting hotter with every second as a static-like noise filled his eardrums. "Why is she doing this?!" Robin waved his arms frantically, desperate for Cordelia's attention. After realizing she wasn't looking at him, he hurriedly clamped her shoulders with his hands.

"Oh, dear me, trying to reenact last night? Well then, by all means, carry on." Cordelia smiled, unable to realize she was suffocating Robin. He flailed his arms desperately, blood rushing to his forehead as his vision blurred.

"How can I get her to stop?" Robin pondered to himself as he his heartbeat reverberated through his eardrums. After what felt like an eternity, he finally realized a way to get her attention. "She's going to hate this…" Cordelia rested her hands on Robin's thighs, thoroughly enjoying herself.

"Surely he loves this." She thought right before she felt something slimy protrude into her lower areas. Cordelia screamed in shock, chills coursing through her nerves as she tumbled off of Robin. He bolted upright, filling his lungs with air as his vision cleared. Cordelia lied on her back, a look of disgust on her face. "What the hell!? Was that your tongue?!"

"Yes, because you were suffocating me, so I needed to get you off." Robin panted for breath as he fell on his back.

"Wait, suffocating!?" Cordelia was shocked that she had almost killed Robin, her expression confused. "You mean I was choking you with-"

"Correct, your posterior," Robin interjected as Cordelia started laughing uncontrollably. "What's so funny?"

"The thing you love so dearly almost killed you!" Cordelia couldn't stop giggling to herself. "About five minutes ago, you grasped my rear while you slumbered."

"So that's why you sat on my face? Because of what I did unconsciously?" Robin asked as he rolled on his side, staring into Cordelia's eyes.

"Well, it was a combination of that, and wanting to repay you for that breakfast in bed you made." Cordelia glanced nervously to her side, avoiding eye contact with Robin.

"Regardless, do you have any other ideas?" Robin smiled as Cordelia rolled next to him.

"How about we continue where we abruptly left off?" Cordelia asked as she rolled atop Robin, her finger drifting along his toned chest slowly.

"Be my guest," Robin said with a smile as Cordelia sat on his midriff, leaning forward onto his shoulders as Robin kissed her on the lips. A taste of something vile coursed through both of their mouths; they pulled their heads backward simultaneously.

"Gah!" Cordelia spat out her tongue as she fell off of Robin, next to his side. Robin coughed into his shoulder as the sour taste tainted his mouth. "Was that…"

"Morning breath." Robin continued to cough as he realized neither of them had brushed their teeth.

"If we're to continue, we should get a mint or something along those lines." Cordelia ran her fingers through Robin's white hair.

"Our toothbrushes are upstairs in the bathroom, so we could try that," Robin suggested.

"I would need something to wear, though." Cordelia pointed to her bare chest with her thumbs.

"You could wear my cloak." Robin offered.

"Alright." Cordelia stood up, grabbing the cloak off the floor where it laid. She fit her arms into the large sleeves, realizing that they were longer than her arms. "I might require some assistance here." Cordelia waved her sleeves around, unable to button up the rather large cloak.

"I got you covered," Robin said as he buttoned up the cloak, smiling at Cordelia the whole time. He fit the last button into the hole, watching Cordelia as she began to walk around the room.

"This thing is incredibly large," She said, noticing how the bottom of the cloak went below her waist. "It's almost like I'm wearing a gigantic blanket." Her red hair spilled out of the hood, so she crammed it inside the cloak before pulling the hood up. It covered her eyes completely and she blindly stumbled around the room before tripping and falling onto the bed. She pulled the hood back down, glancing at the collection of books on Robin's shelf.

"And that's a bad thing?" Robin asked as he searched his closet for a backup hoodie.

"No, it's actually quite comfortable," Cordelia said as she continued to trot around the room. Robin finally found the black and purple hoodie he saved for occasions like this, hurriedly putting it on.

"Ready?" Cordelia asked as she fumbled with the doorknob of his room, her hands unable to grasp it through the thick fabric of Robin's cloak.

"Ready," Robin said as he opened the door for her, and walked out after she left.

"The hell are you two doing?" Stahl arched his eyebrow as he watched them walk by.

"Shut up, Stahl." Robin's voice seethed content; Cordelia wasn't sure why. She trotted up the stairs, the sleeves of the cloak swaying in an adorable manner as Robin walked behind her.

"Do you know where this came from? Because I could get used to falling asleep in this." Cordelia stopped in front of the bathroom and knocked on the door to make she was sure nobody was inside the room. She grasped the doorknob, her hands slipping around the metallic knob, again.

"No idea. It was just on me when I woke up." Robin said as opened the door to the bathroom, following Cordelia inside as he shut the door. Cordelia glanced at the rack Vaike had built, which contained everyone's toothbrushes. Miriel had gone through the trouble of meticulously sorting them alphabetically. Cordelia grabbed her pale-blue brush off of the shelf, squeezing the tube of toothpaste above it as the contents unfurled onto her brush. After about three minutes of teeth-brushing, the both of them exited the bathroom as Chrom stuck his head out of his room.

"Oh, thank God it's you two. I really need your help." A look of urgency was plastered on Chrom's face, his blue hair frazzled and unkempt.

"Oh no no, it's nothing serious. Just ignore us, please." Olivia pleaded from inside the room. Cordelia couldn't tell whether she was sarcastic or not.

"Help me, I'm begging you guys." Chrom murmured as he pulled his head back into his room. Cordelia stormed in without hesitation; Robin followed her closely as he worried about what he would find.

"Alright, what's the issue?" Robin said as he shut the door, looking around Chrom's room for a place to sit. He found a recliner and sat down in it. Cordelia squeezed in next to him, her head resting on the warmth of his neck.

"I don't mean to sound rude," Olivia said as she sat on the opposite side of the bed, away from Chrom. "But it's you two that caused this."

"Us?! What did we do?" Cordelia asked, her tone rather drowsy from the insulation of Robin's cloak.

"Well… It's rather an issue of what we haven't done." Chrom said, his cheeks matching Olivia's hair in coloration.

"Oh." Robin began to curse the thin walls of the house underneath his breath.

"Were we really that loud?" Cordelia asked as she raised her eyebrow.

"Yes." Chrom and Olivia stated in unison, their expressions completely stoic.

"Okay, I understand what's going on here." Cordelia started giggling. "Chrom's too afraid to have intercourse, right?" She walked over and punched Chrom on the shoulder.

"N-No…" Chrom turned his head in the other direction, but Cordelia turned it back forcefully.

"Oh, yes you are, you adorable widdle baby." Cordelia's hands slid out from the sleeves and pinched Chrom's cheeks.

"Can you please stop?" Chrom asked politely.

"Cordelia, you're being rather harsh." Robin stood up, desperately hoping this situation wouldn't explode.

"Just let me have my revenge," Cordelia's tone was bereft of teasing, now a cold husk of malice.

"What revenge? Chrom didn't do anything to you." Olivia asked, utterly confused.

"You weren't there. You didn't see the long, agonizing, ten years that Chrom never acknowledged me. I wasn't sure if he was doing it just out of obliviousness, but I found out the day I met you." Cordelia pointed to Robin. "He was toying with me maliciously, waiting to see how long until I snapped." Cordelia vehemently snorted from her nostrils, her mouth curving into the angriest look Chrom had ever seen.

"That's not true." Chrom squeaked meekly, his eyes shifting back and forth from Olivia and Robin. "Shit."

"What? Speak up. I simply cannot hear you." Cordelia said in an utterly disgusted tone.

"I said that's not true!" Chrom yelled as he stood up, backing Cordelia against the wall. "You act like I'm some sort of villain when really I just didn't pay attention to you!" Chrom watched as Cordelia's expression shifted from anger to fear as her back bumped into the wall, Chrom continuing his advance.

"Chrom." Robin's tone was serious, knowing exactly where this train-wreck of a situation was heading.

"If by malicious, you mean that I wanted to break it to you that I simply liked you as a friend!" Chrom backed her up against the wall, his chest puffed out.

"Then why didn't you tell me gently?" Cordelia stuck her finger directly in his face, her expression shifting back to anger. "Answer me that."

"Don't. Stick. Your. Finger. In. My. Face." Chrom enunciated every word as he gritted his teeth, his forehead furrowed from frustration.

"Or what? We both know you're not enough of a man to strike me." Cordelia dragged her finger along his forehead. Chrom's eyes flickered with rage, raising his clenched fist. Robin's eyes widened as he scrambled to Chrom's side, grabbing his arm in an attempt to stop the encroaching violence.

"Chrom, No! She isn't worth it!" Robin tried to pull his arm down, but Chrom swung his elbow back into Robin's face. He was propelled into the floor, lying in a heap. Olivia started sobbing.

"Do it. Be a man, and strike me." Cordelia looked to her side, awaiting the searing pain that would come. Chrom pulled his arm back and exhaled, his eyes full of frustration, but turned his head to see Olivia crying on the pillow.

"I just wanted us to be happy. Is that too much to ask?" Olivia spoke between sobs, the bedspread soaked with tears.

Cordelia looked at Olivia and realized what she caused. "Oh, my…" She said as she collapsed and fell on her knees while Chrom tended to Olivia.

"I am so sorry you had to see me like that," Chrom said as he hugged Olivia. "I promise you that I will never, ever, do that again."

"But what if you do? What if we fight, and you get like that? What if you hurt me?" Olivia continued sobbing as she pushed her head to Chrom's shoulder.

"I promise you that will never happen. And I never break promises." Chrom said comforting her as she stopped sobbing. Chrom predicted that Olivia would calm down, and they could discuss their relationship problems with Robin and Cordelia in an orderly manner. Unfortunately, that did not happen. Olivia opened her eyes as she realized something and shoved Chrom onto the bed, glaring at him.

"Why exactly should I trust that you?" Olivia gritted her teeth.

"Because I would never, ever lie to you," Chrom replied calmly, not wanting to get in another fight.

"How stupid do you think I am? I just watched you go full machismo on your friends just because Cordelia insulted you!" Olivia stood up, her tone rising more and more into pure anger.

"Let's get out of here," Robin whispered in Cordelia's ear. she sat on her knees, still dazed that she had just snapped at Chrom like that. "Cordy, c'mon." Robin placed both of his hands on Cordelia's shoulders and shook her gently; still no response. Robin reached into her sleeves and grabbed her by the arms, dragging her out of Chrom's room hurriedly. Her back skimmed on the carpet as she made no effort to move.

Robin continued to drag her towards her room but made minuscule progress before he lifted her off the ground, her head resting on his left shoulder. He stumbled through the hallway, opening the door to her room with his foot as he set Cordelia down next to her bed gently; she sprang into his arms.

"I can't believe I did that…" She sighed, muffled through Robin's shoulder.

"I can't believe it either," Robin replied as he ran his fingers through her hair. "Frankly, I think that you were being exceptionally harsh on him."

"I presumed." Cordelia draped her sleeves around Robin's shoulders. "I really should apologize to him, though."

"U-Uh," Robin stuttered as he heard Olivia screaming through the walls. "You should hold off on that."


We're reaching fetish territory now. Good thing there's no helium or maid costumes.