Chapter 7: Not Alone
I didn't know how I could do it. There was no way that I would be able to keep this away from any one in this family. I wanted to tell the whole world that I was smitten and if there was a cure for it I didn't want to know it. I know that today when I went to the river with Edward there would be things done that I wouldn't be able to take back But the real question is, would I want to take it back? Would I regret it and then confess to everyone and tell them? I didn't want this time alone with Edward to end. There was no way that I could survive if I lost him too.
Carlisle came into the bedroom to ask me how I was doing today, I couldn't believe that he had actually noticed me for once. I just told him I was okay and that I had some time planned at the stables later today.
"Darling, are you okay, really okay?" Carlisle asked me while stroking my hair.
I gasped, "Yes, I am Carlisle. I've been so lonely without you here. I don't know what to do with all the time I have on my hands while you are gone."
"I'm so sorry love. I would really like to take some time off and spend it with you," Carlisle said.
"It's okay if you can't you know, I've started a new project, and I'm sure it will keep my busy for weeks." I told him.
"You bought another house, love? That is wonderful. I can't wait to see it," Carlisle smiled at the prospect.
"Well, no, I am working out at the stables. Learning to race. Edward is teaching me. And I'm enjoying the lessons."
"Is that something you might want to do to actually compete?" Carlisle asked.
"I'm not sure. But I do love the feeling of the wind in my hair. And being competitive. There's nothing like it when you actually win the race."
Carlisle came over to me and moved the hair from my neck and kissed me. I cringed.
"Esme, you don't want me to touch you? This is the first time since we have been married that you don't want me near you. What's going on?"
"Nothing darling," I said back to Carlisle. "It's just I'm afraid that I'll get so excited that you are paying attention and work will take you away. My heart can't take it anymore. I want you to be around all the time and not just when it's convenient for you."
I turned away from him and I just hoped he would leave the room. This discussion was taking up my time to think about Edward. Those thoughts were the only thing that kept me sane, without Edward who knows what I would be doing right now...probably wallowing in the hurt. Carlisle left the room closing the door behind him.
I was glad for the peace in the moment so I could think about Edward. That's all I wanted to think about. Was Edward my future now?
