hey guys i finally got iternet for wich i'm super happy

enjoy and review

-airali


Gentle arms probed me awake the next morning, accompanied by a soft voice calling my name and a soft hand smoothing my hair back.

How is it that this guy doesn't have a girlfriend?

"Come on time to wake up" he cooed.

"Kay" I said though I just wanted to keep sleeping. I tired to open my eyes but everything was much too blurry to make any sense.

I rubbed my eyes trying rub off the sleep in them it didn't work.

I laid there looking at the mix of colors before me. The colors told me that it was still dark.

"What time is it" I asked groggily.

"Four in the morning" he responded.

"Are you mental? I need sleep, guy" I said turning my body away from him and shutting my eyes.

"I know but we have a plane to catch" he said getting up. I felt a gust of cold air as he lifted the covers off of himself and I got Goosebumps. My teeth chattered and I curled into a tight ball in response to the chilly air.

Seconds later I felt him watching me.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"You'll see" he said.

I opened my eyes but everything was just a swirl of colors and I couldn't see Edwards face at all.

"Go get ready then. I'll be up in a moment" I told him reaching out to push his face away.

He gave one short laugh and I felt him leave.

"Are you feeling alright April?" He called.

"I'm fine just need to get rid of the sleep."

"You can sleep on the plane" he said.

"I'm planning on doing that" I called. Then I heard the bathroom door, I assume, close.

I sighed and turned to face the ceiling. How much more would I have to endure all of these troubles? In times like these I swear I just wanted death to come and take me already.

With each second that passed I grew more aware of the growing pain in my chest. Soon I found myself breathing heavily trying to control the pain. Did I really deserve something like this?

It was with an enormous effort that I was able to find my notebook while half blind. Ten minutes later everything began to come back into focus and the pain was beginning to leave.

I dug around my bag for my pills. Just as I was swallowing one Edward walked out of the bathroom.

"What are those for?" he said as he dried his hair.

"I'm sick remember?" I said.

"Yes but you've never told me of what"

"I have heart problems" I said brusquely.

"How bad is it?" he asked as he put stuff into his bag.

"I'll be fine as long as I take my medicine" I said closing my notebook and looking for my clothes.

He didn't say anything so I got my clothes and went into the bathroom.

How the hell could I possibly tell him that I was so close to death? I'm pretty sure it wasn't something that he heard every other day. Besides if I'm being truthful with myself then I'll admit that I didn't want his pity. What could I possibly do with it? Nothing it will just ruin the good time we are having. It was unnecessary, and unnecessary things should not be bothered with. No, no, no.

I got myself ready with an awful slowness. By the time that I came out of the bathroom Edward had already gotten everything ready for us to leave. He sat on the bed leaning against the headboard as he flipped through the channels.

I sighed and put my clothes into my bed. Then I went to kneel in the bed, effectively blocking his view at the T.V. A slight smile played at his lips, whatever it is that had gotten him so serious it was soon leaving him.

"Will you please tell me where we are going?" I begged like a little girl.

"we are going to the airport!!!" he said, too happy to be serious.

One hour later

"Ready?" Edward asked once he had buckled himself. His sparkling green eyes looked at me with humor. No doubt remembering the last time I was on a plane.

"Wipe that smirk off your face or I will" I said.

As ridiculous as it was I was scared. I guess heights are just not my thing. I prefer to keep my feet on firm land. But apparently it would take us a good damn long time to get to New York that way. So now here I sat in this death shuttle. Might I remind you that these things have been high jacked before? Surely that can't be good, I heard a lot of people died on nine eleven.

"Relax" Edward said. "Here" he took my hand and intertwined our fingers. "I'll let you crush my hand if that helps"

I laughed and squeezed his hand. "Remember you said I could." I said.

The takeoff went…well it didn't go smoothly, because well nothing went smoothly for me. But I was alive so it went alright I guess. Both Edward and I slept for a good part of the flight.


"This is so cool"

"This is freaky" Edward contradicted as he looked up at the giant statue I was climbing.

"Are you afraid of her" I mocked as I stood next to the Alice.

"No but look at her, imagine seeing that at night"

As I looked at her I saw that…he had a point.

I looked back at him just as a shudder passed through him. I laughed at him and he glared.

"Care to join me in this awesomely freaky Alice in wonderland statue?" I said taking a seat.

"Your wish my command madam" he said playing along.

He was about to climb when he stopped and stepped back.

"Don't be a wimp" I teased.

"I'm not, just wait a sec" he said rummaging through his bag.

He pulled out his silver camera and pointed it at me. Smiling I got up and stood behind Alice and peered over her head smiling as big as I could. His finger pressed down on the camera and nodded telling me he got it.

"Now come on and join me"

He chuckled and he got up and sat on the mushroom, settling next to me, between Alice and the white rabbit.

"Here" he said offering me a piece of the chocolate bar he had. I took a piece and ten took the chocolate bar and gave him the piece I had broken.

He shot me a wannabe evil smile.

"Fine" I laughed and we divided it in half.

"Central park is so pretty" I said after finishing the chocolate.

"Yeah, I always wanted to come here" he said looking around.

My gaze fixed on a little boy, no older tan four years old. He was dressed in a jean overall with a red shirt under, atop his head sat a mop of chocolate colored curls, and his rosy cheeks gave him the the look of an angel. The boy stumbled over to look at a flock of birds with wide interested arms. His interest amused me; I wished I could be four again.

He ran toward the birds was bewildered when the flew away, he stumbled and fell back on his bottom, he looked up and pointed in awe to the birds that were flying away into the heavens, the little boy's face formed a perfect o.

Soon his mother approached him and picked him up and guided him towards his father who lifted the boy on his shoulders.

I heard the click of a camera next to me. Edward lowered the camera and examined the picture he took. When he sensed my gaze on him he looked up with a smile paint on his handsome features.

"Sometimes I wonder if that will ever be me" he nodding towards the couple with the little boy.

"You hope on having a family one day?" I said hugging my knees to myself.

"Of course I do, but it's so hard to find someone who you will spend the rest of your life with nowadays that I wonder if it will ever happen"

"You deserve a family like that Edward, you'll find someone in due time" as I said it I actually believed it. I couldn't picture Edward being alone forever. Who wouldn't want him?

"And you?" he asked looking at his surroundings.

"Me what?"

"Do you ever see yourself like that?"

"I have never thought about that, I've always been so disturbed at the thought of growing up" I said resting my chin on my arms.

"Why?"

"I guess it's always meant bad news to me. It's hard to explain it. I just never thought about having a family, I see it as an impossibility for me"

If he knew how impossible it really was.

"I don't think so" he said, so sure of himself, as always.

"Huh?"

"You are a great person April and in due time I am sure that you will be a perfect mother and wife, however ends up with you will be a very lucky man"

"No one is ever going to get my heart" I argued

"What makes you so sure of that?"

"It's just something I know" I shrugged.

"I don't think so"

"Are you always so sure of everything Edward?"

"are you?" he asked.

i didn't answer just stared off not really here.

"Sometime sI wish I was Alice" I said looking up at the motionless statue. He turned to look at me with curiosity.

"Why?"

"Because I would love to be in wonderland. It's one of my favorite books and believe it or not sometimes I think that it makes more sense than the real world does."

"How does it make more sense?"

"It's not something I can tell you, it's something you discover for yourself after you read it and analyze it" I was aware of his curious gaze as I directed my eyes at the white rabbit with his watch.

Time, time is really what makes our lives go. There is no such thing as lack of time; you make as much time as you want to. No one understands this, and that's because no one takes the time to understand it. Or at least that's what I believe.

I less than a week to live, I could feel it. And yet I felt like I had all the time in the world.

"What's your favorite book?" he asked.

"Oh that's easy, peter pan"

"Why?"

"I like the idea of never having to grow up. You have no idea how many times I have envied him, he has everything and is everything I would love to have and be"

"Your right, I pity him too though"

It was my turn to look at him curiously; he met my eyes and gave me a gentle smile.

"There's so many things he's missing out on don't you think?"

"Like what?"

"Well what I mean is that there so much that he doesn't understand, I think I would be so frustrated if I was in his place"

"Well it's not like his lack of knowledge really affects him, I wouldn't be bothered by that. I mean I like his innocence, it hasn't been tainted by mature thoughts."

"I see what you mean"

"We all wish we could be seven years old once in a while don't you think?"

"Yeah but most only wish for that when their drowning in problems"

"Those people, my friend are what I like to call pussies"

He laughed at that. No I mean he really laughed at that, like a mega super laugh.

"You done yet?" I asked when he began to gasp for air.

"Yeah I think so" he breathed and rubbed his eyes. "It's just that, that's so very true."

"I know that" I said happily.

"Ah come on let's go get something to eat"

"Yeah let's go get something to eat for the fatty!" I said in my bully kid voice.

"Yes you must be starving" he teased.

"Shut up" I said jumping off the mushroom. "Can we go to the carousel?"

"Whatever you wish for young one" he said making his voice sound wise.

"Come on, you fatty might pass out on me, cant have that happening now can we?"


I don't know what I have always like about carousels. I think that to me it stands as a symbol of childhood. Because after all I mean what kid doesn't like the carousel.

I got on it three times until my stomach began to feel queasy but I can easily tell you that the carousel completely made my day.


"Your cold, do you want to leave?" Edward said as he pulled me into his side.

"Of course not, are you mental? this is so pretty." I marveled at the sky from where snow fell gently upon the earth. I had seen snow before but there was something about it now that was just magical.

Maybe it was Edwards's presence that made it so special.

We sat at the edge of the lake in central park, across the lake and through the trees I could see the tall and dark outline of New York's buildings.

I rested my head on Edwards shoulder as my teeth chattered. I pulled my jacket tighter around me.

"Do you wanna leave?" I whispered.

"I want what you want" he murmured, resting his head on top of mines.

We stayed like that for a while, as close together as possible as we tried to keep each other warm.

"The lake looks so pretty" I whispered, I could see my breath come out as I talked.

"It does look beautiful"

"You know the day I die I want my ashes scattered on the sea"

"Don't think about that" he said tightening his arms around me.

"It's never too early t-to start making plans" I said wrapping my arms around him. This felt so nice, so right on many levels

"April?" he asked.

"Hmm?" I said closing my eyes and taking in his comforting scent.

"What are you sick with?"

My eyes snapped open then. Why does he have to ruin this?

"Edward why do you want to know the thing I am so hesitant to tell you about?" I sighed.

"Because I'm awfully curious about you. You said you had heart problems but you obviously don't expect me to just take that and be happy do you?"

I sighed.

"I suppose your right"

But that doesn't matter; I still don't know how he's going to react if I tell him. Will he be scared? Will he have pity on me? Will he take me back?

Ah hell no.

"d-d-don't worry about it" I whispered.

"I will worry about it until you tell me. April I know this is serious because you are trying too hard to keep it from me, but I have a right to know what to expect from you while we are on this trip."

"Edward I didn't leave my house just because I felt like it" I said deciding on what to do. "Well technically I did but you know how you have a reason for everything you do?"

I felt him nod.

"Well on Friday I was out skating with my friends. I was just enjoying my Friday with my friends like any other normal teenager. Then I woke up in the hospital."

I stopped trying to decide how to do this.

Edward noticed my hesitance because he tried to encourage me to talk.

"go on" he said gently.

"Edward I'm dying" I whispered so low that I wondered if he had heard me.

Edward intake of breath assured me that he had heard me.

"I would never be capable of lying to you about something like this Edward; I have no reason to lie" I whispered when he didn't say anything.

"I know that" he said and his voice shook as he talked. He tried to clear his voice but it still sounded strained.

"how much?" he whispered.

"A week" I said calmly.

"No" he moaned. He nuzzled his face to mine and I felt the moistness of his cheeks.

"Hey" I nuzzled my face against his too. "Please don't cry" I whispered. "That's the last thing I want Edward, please don't cry"

"But why? Why is this happening to you? You don't deserve this" he sobbed.

"I don't know, god works in odd ways. Maybe my life wasn't destined to be that good and he decided to take me away from that future"

"No, no, no, that's not right April. You're so young"

"That doesn't matter. Edward please don't pity me, that the reason I left to avoid the pity people would surely have If I was to go back to forks right now. I just want to make the most of what I have right now."

I had to make him understand that he just had to accept this the way I had accepted it. I had to convince him that it would all be fine and that we just had to keep having fun. Just to convince him to stick by me these last days, though I was aware that I was asking for a lot.

"The doctors could be wrong though." He sniffled. "Their not always right about these things. We'll go back right now. My dad's a doctor."

"Edward st-"

"We'll have him take a look at you, and you will see that your fine, and you're going to live for a long time and-"

"Edward stop it right now."

"No! Why are you giving up on yourself like this April?! This isn't a game April; do you realize what you're telling me? do you not care about yourself at all?!"

"I knew it was a mistake to tell you this" I muttered as I got up.

"April!"

I ignored him and walked away a distance until I felt arms wrap around my waist and pick me up.

"Let me go!" I screamed and struggled against his grip.

He turned me around and crushed me to his chest.

"I'm never letting you go" he whispered burying his head on my neck.

In silence, before the lake and under the falling snow we cried silently. And I realized that I really was afraid of what was to come.