Chapter 6 - The Sequel (Return of the Hora Hora's)

"Damn this place is swank...glad I have that heroes discount." T said, then paused "Cody?"

"Yeah?" Cody said

"Do we have any money?"

"Of cour-...did we? I, I don't think we stole money from the shops...was there even money in the shops?" Cody wondered to himself.

"Um...Oh, Luka's cash! Yeah that, where is that?" T said.

They then spent several minutes rooting through every inch of their bags, including the ones formerly covered in bags, but now was currently carrying them normally, looking like fucking idiots squatting right in front of the inn's door.

They finally found a single bag of gold marked 'Luka'.

"Nice, lets all just get two rooms I guess, I think they'd have double beds right? Like a Hotel Cody?" T said, looking to Cody.

Cody shrugged, "It's not that big of a deal if we have to share a king sized bed, to be honest. Judging on how tiny I am we probably wouldn't notice each other too much. And...Luka's sharing with the snake."

"Cody, couldn't we all three ju-"

"No." Alice said.

"Alright then, I guess Lu-"

"No."

"Fuck. Well, uh, I guess I'll share a room? Don't see why not."

"That's fine." Alice said, nodding.

Suddenly, thunder struck in a menacing manner on this cloudless day.

"The shit?" T said, looking back, then shook his head "Whatever."

"Fuck all of you, I'm not sharing with Luka," Cody said.

"Cody, just because you have problems with his…" T just waved his hand in a circle "Luka still is a nice boy, just a nice kid who, well, isn't perfect." T said

"He probably wets the bed...I mean we've seen him shit himself before."

"Cody, we almost shit ourselves, I'm pretty sure the only reason why was that we weren't unconscious." T said, leveling a glare, his frugality causing him to get miffed.

"Ugh, fine."

Ignored was the glare Luka was giving Cody.

Thus, the team went inside.

"Ah, hello, miss?"

Insert stock 'wow you did it, you duh hero, here's your discount.' spiel.

"Awesome, two rooms please." T said, almost drowned out by the menacing thunderclap. T and Cody didn't react, signing it off as pointless anime bullshit with no meaning.

"Huh, wasn't there no clouds? Is it raining outside or something?" The inn manager asked.

"Not a cloud in the sky." T said

"Odd." she said, handing him and Cody the keys.

"Thank you!" T said, leaving with the Team to find their rooms, they were right in front of each other, at opposite walls. "So, Cody, take the magic books and start learnin', try and bond n' shit or something." T said, inserting his key into his door.

"Alright, seeya." Cody said, doing the same as the duo separated.

Cody walked into the room and plopped his shit onto the floor, it made a loud as fuck thump that probably disturbed the neighbors...and every floor below him to an extent. Luka came into the room and started to fiddle with the bags attached to his body in various places on his back. Cody walked up and started assisting Luka in his epic quest to drop the weight of eleven hippos off of his body and onto the floor also making a thump and if the first plop wasn't enough to disrupt the ecosystem of the inn the second definitely was.

Cody laid out all of the magic books onto the bed and tried to find the simplest book out of the bunch, which was the book titled 'Ye olde basic blasts for basic bitches for dummies 101'. The title was enough to give Cody a bit of a chuckle and for Cody a bit of a chuckle was at least ten seconds of idiotic laughing. Luka stared at him confused, it was just a basic title after all.

Eventually, Cody stopped his fit of chuckling and cracked open the big ol book o magic. He just opened it to a random page towards the middle. 90% of the text was covered in a thick layer of dust that cast itself into the air straight into Cody's face when he opened it.

"Alright, I got some studying n shit to do, so unless you wanna learn this too keep quiet please, yo," Cody said and started to read into the introductory text. It was going to be a long grind until he got to be any trace of competent at magic. Or so he thought, perhaps the RPG leveling system had made it much easier for him to tap into his potential...or he was really just that smart. PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTT. Yeah, it was the levels. It was a matter of thinking in a certain way and following simple instructions, Cody assumed that magic was just something you would have to be born with the potential to do or level into it.

It was something similar to a coding language, and Cody had a small amount of coding experience. The book explained the body as essentially an operating system it is possible to write code for, but it did so in a very poetic and ye olde way. It was also possible to send a signal of code into the universe for an effect, albeit limited by certain factors. Those being signal strength, the properties of energy and the fact that you'd essentially have to write a virus under certain circumstances.

Upon focusing his energy, Cody managed to make a small cut appear on the tip of his finger. He moved onto other things such as moving a candle's fire to his finger, making foods taste differently and changing the friction of the floor to fuck with those that walk by in the future.

Cody neared the end of the first chapter when he sooned realized that practicing magic is definitely and outdoor activity. It was the excuse he needed to get the fuck out of the same room Luka was in, for one Cody just found Luka to be incredibly irritating to be around. There is no two. He packed up his book and spent a good chunk of the night outside in the marketplace trying out different effects and codes. He found that problems in his operations were translated to blacking out for several seconds...minutes? He wasn't quite sure. But at one point he was mistaken for a bum and told about a medieval homeless shelter. That being the church.

"Wow, ritzy." T said partly to himself, partly to fill the silence.

If he was to be honest to himself, he wasn't sure what to make of Alice. He knew of her at the end, but the beginning where she was a heavy pessimist? He wasn't sure what to think.

The biggest reason being: He had no idea how she'd act towards him.

Alice, canonically, only had interacted closely to one male, Luka. And that was a pseudo romantic weird thing.

But what about a guy who isn't a nameless shit peasant, or someone she overly dislikes for being a hypocrite/asshole?

So T was left having no idea what to do as she curled up on the bed and lazed about, slothily consuming Ama Ama Dango after T's recommendation that she savor the food instead of eating it quickly, that way she got to really enjoy it. She smiled a bit at that little bit of pointless mindfulness.

And thus he was standing there, watching for a moment as she ate the food, though after a moment once she wasn't in food bliss she started doing something that caused him to look away.

Her eyes had flickered over, noticing him watching her idly, and begun...well, putting her snake tongue to good use, and her teeth in less use.

T had no plans to entertain the idea she'd do stuff with him, and looked away, as well, he had no plan to cuck with an F the snake cloaca, but well, she had a human half. Yeah, he was that kinda weirdo, sue him. The cute giggle that rang out noted to him that he was being teased. Well, hopefully it was an innocent fun and games giggle, and not a 'I'ma make your life hell with this' kinda mischievous giggle

And then there came his libido, smashing into him. It was a fact of life that he had to deal with a lot, 4-8 times a day in fact, so the sight after a few days of constant nothing was getting to him, and there was no end in sight, so he conjured up the most boner destroying thoughts he had.

The knowledge of death, and the rather gruesome things he'd done to those monster girls.

It didn't dig on him as much as he thought it would, but that's partly because he was so good at rationalizing everything he'd done, and so he started to blossom anger.

A deep, blazing rage that burned in him rarely, but what surprised him was that it stayed.

He won't lie, he had a raging, blazing temper once flared. A burning angry rage that burst from the seams at a split second, but he'd always been good about getting rid of it quickly, but now?

He felt this wasn't gonna simply go that easily so he sighed, and started walking towards the make-up desk thing you always saw in victorian era movies and shit. The one with the little circle mirror thing, and he stopped three feet from it.

"Hmm?" Alice said, interested in what he was doing, probably because she'd never really seen a human in such close proximity in such a rest scenario, or at least, that's what he guessed.

Nonetheless his body burned with unspent energy, the uphill battle/slaughter apparently didn't tire him out...or the levels just made him feel completely fine in spite of it all. Probably the latter.

So, he did the only thing that made sense in this crazy situation. Practice.

His fists squared up, pressed lightly against his cheeks in a guard to protect his chin, his feet moving where the left pointed forwards, and the right pointed away and forwards in a diagonal fashion, and he began training.

He started with a set he'd learned from his dad, ten jabs, ten straights, ten of a jab-jab-straight combination, and he attempted to pantomime a body blow hook but found it lacking to do so, but it appeared that he did it pretty well. Must be the levels, since he'd had problems with that before.

He stopped, and examined how he felt...and it was kind of out of body in terms of how it felt. His conscious mind was confused intensely, along with his subconscious muscle memory, due to his body's intense outstretching of his previous physical skills.

He lifted up his tunic shirt a bit to look at his, well, frankly thin stomach. He wasn't a muscleman yet, nor did he even seem athletic, just...smidge muscley or whatever. Still had stretch marks though.

He sighed, and knew he should probably try to exercise, and got to it.

Jabs, straights, hooks, uppercuts, kicks he was never able to do before, his body flowed violently as he stood in place, adjusting every mistake until it was satisfactory, and going at it over and over and over again. Fists flying, kicks swinging, elbows slicing, knees smashing, he put his all into it.

Some time later he collapsed onto his knees, panting. He'd never worked this hard, but he felt a small bit of happiness bloom. He'd make sure this new form was well earnt, and that he'd be able to fight to, well, do the right thing. Protect Cody, save the world, and have fun maybe along the way. He briefly contemplated if this was the levels, and shrugged, levels or not, it was doing something good for him.

He got up after a while, looking back to see Alice curiously looking at him, half finished dango waving lazily in her hand, it was when she saw him staring for a moment confused that she spoke up.

"Curious, I've never seen such a style. The strikes seem so...simple, but efficient. Though your kicks were rather come and go, like you're unused to it. And using your elbows and knees...I've rarely seen those used, partly because most humans don't journey over to my territory." She spoke, taking another bite of her dango afterwards. "Also, I could tell you are very much an amatuer, in spite of my compliments, your form is terrible and you're full of openings." she added

"Just something I learned from my dad a bit, along with reading. I've always kinda admired guys who fight with their fists, there's just something so much more...impressive, y'know, about beating an enemy with pure physical prowess, making use of man's body and mind." T said, reverently. He liked the idea of it all, martial arts and such, not that he hated swords or boards, just that fist fighting would always hold a special place in his heart.

"Though, yeah, I'm not exactly a master at hand to hand combat, as you can see." he added, rubbing the back of his head as a nervous tick

"Interesting. What is this style called, if it even has a name?" She questioned curiously

"MMA, I guess? Mixed martial arts is the full name, but I mostly used boxing and a bit of things I picked up from books. It a general title for a combination of various forms of martial arts, it can refer to two or more style mixed together to form a better whole. It's overall pretty good, though I like the idea of the one style warrior, I will admit MMA is more practical." T said with a smile, walking over and plopping down on an open corner of the bed, and he felt Alice fidget, he looked back over after he sat down and saw her cheeks being colored oddly. Why were they red? Was she embarrassed or something? Odd. Probably just enjoying the dango too much.

"Hmm. Impressive, that is, for a human." She said in the usual snooty 'Har har I'ma demon lord' fashion she usually used to Luka at the start. Guess she just used it generally for any human she was sorta not hating.

"Well, hopefully I can surprise you some more with what a human can do." T said, grinning earnestly, proud, and also digging the whole 'Roleplaying as a cooler guy than he really is' thing.

"Mmm. It appears I'm out." She groused, looking down at her plate.

Things went as normal, the mention of the side-quest of Happiness village, blah blah, no more dangos.

This was where T was heavily unsure of what was going to happen, but he mentally shrugged, he wasn't Luka, he was just some shit head human.

"Hmm, I'm hungry again." She said, closing her eyes in contemplation after transforming back again.

"Oh? I can ask her to bring in some more food so you don't have to transform again." T said, standing up and stretching "Though, I'd have to ask for payment for my errand boy tendencies." he said, grinning back at her.

"Hora hora, I didn't think you'd be so forward." she said teasingly, to which I just chuckled

"I mean something other than physical compensation," she looked at me weirdly, I think it was in annoyance? Odd. "I was thinking in more, well, knowledge. I imagine you know how to use weapons and stuff right? And if you know how to use weapons, you know how to teach that. You can see where I'm going right?" T said

"I suppose I could, it'd be no consequence to me...though, you seem to know what Demon Decapitation is already. Learn that from your books too?" she said slightly suspiciously

T simply chuckled "Yeah, though, DD isn't exactly hard to do. It's just a horizontal slice at the neck with a lotta force, sure, there might be intricacies, but overall it's just a fancy name for a simple attack." T groused.

"Oh, so you're a swordsman who's too good for a notable monster technique, well then, I guess I don't have to teach you anything." She said with a smirk

"Whoa no no no, nothing about that, don't go that far. I need training, bad." T said, waving his hands placatingly around.

She simply giggled, and T sighed, turning and walking towards the door before stopping, turning around, and walking back to grab his tunic to slip on "So, deal?" T asked, looking back once he put his arms and head through the appropriate holes

"Deal." She said simply

He left with a smile. It looked like things were really looking up.

He came back, knocking on the door lightly "I'm back, she's getting on to cooking a feast for yah." T said before slotting the key in and popping inside, and saw Alice half off the bed in what amounted to as close approximation of sitting a half snake could.

"So, would you like to begin now? Or did walking downstairs tucker you out?" she asked a bit teasingly.

"Oh, now? Sure." T replied, a bit excited as he went to the corner where his stuff was and popped out his bastard sword, though it didn't speak to him like holding a baseball bat did, it was what he'd picked out. Dark souls was the cause, and so he kept with it.

It was pleasant, really, learning from Alice. That may and part have been because of the fact he'd found her rude, scathing remarks about him being absolute shit with a sword to be funny. But it overall was nice...outside of the 'hands on' moments.

She occasionally pressed herself up against him, which, as you can guess, left him focusing heavily on things that made him mad, or naked old people.

So aside from him hyper focusing on everything other than what was pressed onto him.

Afterwards he was getting tired from all the working out and training he'd done, and once the food arrived, he ate slowly and surely, taking the corning of health foods he'd ordered for himself alongside the feast for like, twenty people he'd ordered. The owner had been heavily surprised at this, but shrugged once he told her to bill it to the church.

And so they ate.

"You seem unsuited for being a hero." Alice said suddenly, to which T blinked in reply

"Uh, how so?" T asked, quirking a brow hard, though inside he was a little panicked, 'little' because his mind reasoned away many reasons why Alice turning around and slaughtering him wouldn't happen.

"Before your clever debacle you were physically inept, basically untrained in any form of fighting, you are incredibly brutal for one claiming of trying to become a 'true hero' as you call it, and you're unbaptised. Essentially, you're like an inept barbarian. What with robbing Illias village and you're dirty fighting style against Granberia." she listed out, which visibly dug into him

He sighed heavily in response

-[HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY, long shitty info dump incoming, skip if it's too long didn't read, I'll bold this and the point where we get back to the plot ( Bold if Cody's not lazy)]-

"I, guess I'll tell you about why all of that is the way it is. I've had that habit, er, quirk? Since forever. I don't like leaving things unexplained, I don't mean it as justify, or say, change someones opinion, I just want them to form their opinion from a whole picture y'know? It's always kinda bugged me, people looking at a label, rather than at the person." I said idly, paying intense attention to his food.

"So uh, physically inept, untrained, and unbaptised...I won't lie, that little bit about me being the more physical minded, while Cody was the more read, was a load of shit. But I guess you probably figured that out, eh? Not like we'd pull one over the monster lord." T chuckled

"So uh, I guess I'll tell you about, well, me? And my home I guess. My home is on a faraway island, a place that, with all due frankness, is in the middle of nowhere, and is hidden from everyone outside. Just a buncha humans living their lives in peace, surrounded by mountains. Our trade wasn't anything specific, but I will say we were we were excellent textile workers. That hoodie is about the only thing I have left from there...and it's called a 'hoodie' because of the hood. No need to overcomplicate it, y'know?"

"Anyways, peace. I'd never even seen a fight before honestly, in person that is. But I'd read about them. Honestly, out of the two of us, I think I might be the wiser, maybe even smarter of us, but I think Cody can damn well do the booksmart stuff while I get good enough at fighting to survive. Anyways, I read, a lot, about adventures and the world. I learned of the good and the bad, the best and the worst of people, I read, and read, of countless good and bad decisions. But there was one thing that really got me…"

"The knowledge from the outside world, and what it was like before, and after the great tear between humanity and monsters. The death, the battles, the horrors of heroism, I know a lot about the real world from these stories. Our town was intensely interested in current events, so we send out covert, I guess, 'Spies' though 'News boys' would be a better term, to check out the world and come back to descriptions of it. It's how I knew about the Ama Ama Dango in fact." T smiled a bit, then frowned heavily.

"But...well, I'd always been a bit of a bleeding heart, guess my parents raised me well, but nonetheless, what struck me were the descriptions of monster girls, and the fights they engaged in. Both ones where they win, and ones where they lose, and ones where they didn't even want to fight in the first place. I came to understand that the world...the world is fucked up Alice. It'd fucked up seemingly beyond repair…" he sighed

"And eventually...it got to me. I was sick of it, sick of knowing I was sitting there, being useless as people were dying, and so I convinced my best friend Cody to come with me on some hairbrained, foolish quest...I think the only reason he came along was because he also knew what happened out there. And so, after some sneaking around, we'd ended up on the mainland in Illias village since we didn't know where the hell we were going, not a penny to our name, and well, the rest is history." T shrugged "I was a kinda bookworm I guess before it all changed, and I, well, as you saw got to where I was…" he said uncomfortably "Hell, before the slime, I'd never hit anyone ever so I was surprised I could unleash so much, well, stress into something." T sighed

"I won't lie, I haven't exactly held up to my lofty ideals, I've never been idealistic, but...I guess I decided something…" T looked up into Alice's eyes

"And what was that?" Alice asked, interested extremely.

"The world needs Idealists goals. They need stupid people putting their lives into selfless things. The world isn't gonna get better if everyone is too scared to even try. So, I'll become that fool that tries to be an Idealist. I'll spout stupid shit and cry to the heavens about Justice, if it means making the world better, if it means making myself a shard of hope in an ocean of hate and death, even if it consumes me…"

"If I can inspire one person to believe, then I'll be happy. I'll be happy that I touched one person's soul, made a person have hope in a better future." T smiled sadly before sighing

"And, well, I've been seemingly a bit one sided in my heroism I will admit." He rubbed the back of his neck, looking away "It's just, I'm not stupid. I know Monster girls aren't Monsters. No one is truly a monster, and that's partly because I met you Alice. You're...you're a person Alice. The stories, the underlying thing, was I wasn't sure if monster girls were, well, monsters. Were the stories skewed? What with the slime I wasn't sure...but then I met you. You're a living, breathing person. A sentient 'People' so to speak." T looked back, a fire in his eyes "You aren't some sex crazed creature that seeks to do nothing but ruin lives. You're a girl with likes and dislikes, history, a life. And because of that, I know that monster girls aren't monsters. They're just byproducts of a fucked up world." T then looked down sadly "But...I will say it doesn't weigh on me the lives I've taken. I'm good at rationalizing, but, well, I had to deem them out of my power. I won't say I'm justice, or some other crazy thing of that sort, that I'm the law and all that. I honestly don't deserve the power to take lives…" T looked at his hands "But…" he clenched them into fists "I'm not gonna sit around while bad people do bad things. I'm a good read of character, and I know the psychology of them. They speak in violence, in power...power I don't have. I had to end them. It's cold, I know, to decide a lives worth, but I knew they'd kill, and kill, and kill. They'd ruin countless families lives, widowing wives, or leaving kids orphaned. Maybe they'd killed kids at some point so they'd be able to enjoy the father, maybe they made them cattle...and I know there's a lot of maybes, but nonetheless there was no way they'd only grabbed single men…" T sighed

"So, I did what I could. I'm no warrior, so I had to be brutal, it's the only way I could win. I can't throw a knockout punch, and I'm not strong enough to fight for probably more than a minute...so, simply enough, I'm too weak." T looked at his hands as they fell limp, then he grit his teeth and looked up "So I want to get stronger, so I can defeat them without killing them, I want to get better, so I can guide them, I want to get braver, so I can face them earnestly, I want to become, I, I want to become a true hero!" At the end, T didn't realize he'd been speaking up louder and louder, to the point of yelling, and he wasn't sure when he'd looked to the sky, or when he'd started talking to himself, but nonetheless he deflated afterwards, now emotionally tired.

[FUCKING STAHP, anyways, back to the juicy bits.]

Mainly because he was fucking lying about everything and the stress of doing this, well, not lying about everything. There is fire where there is smoke so to speak.

"So...simply enough, I'm a stupid kid who wants to be a hero cause my heart bleeds too much, and is trying his hardest to get strong enough where he doesn't need to kill people. I understand it's stupid and selfish somewhat, the idea of Idealism is stupid, but that doesn't mean this fucked up world doesn't need some stupid idiot to at least try and fix it." T said, his false soul coming out a bit at this. He just wanted to help, and this was less telling Alice, and more him telling himself, hardening his resolve.

And by the end of it, he knew what he was going to do. Probably.

It was then followed by him blinking "Jesus, sorry about that-" he said, chuckling "-didn't mean to drag you into some random big speech that was pretty much to myself, heh. My bad." his cheeks reddened, betraying his embarrassment.

Damn you anime and you're really obvious visual cue's.

Anyways, Alice was fucking baffled, kinda like a certain goddess, at the shit he just spewed.

But you see Alice was not a paranoid fucking insane woman.

So she didn't realize, due to just how fucking much he spoke, that he was bullshitting alot, so yeah.

She believed him (cough, dues ex machina, cough).

"Mmm." she hummed thoughtfully

"Hey...T, was it?" she said coyly

"Yeah?" said the dense motherfucker.

"I'm still hungry." she said with a cruel smirk

000000whst even is a liner brajlrke-000000

"T, why the fuck did you just jump out the window?" Cody asked, staring at the T who landed mostly on his face.

"FUCK, rape, NO, lesgo Cody!" he screamed as he tore his face out of the face shaped hole in the ground he'd made, grabbing him and dragging him as he fucking ran

"MY FUCKING EYYYYYYEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSS!" screamed a vaguely, as in, exactly the same as voice of Alice

Pocket sand.

-Roll credits. Also, homeless shelter-

"Cody, hey Cody." T said as he shook Cody like he was a fucking narcoleptic hard sleeper.

"What? What the fuck?" Cody replied after he was woke up.

"Cody we need to get our shit from the hotel, and I'm not going alone. Also the pope- I mean the priest is kicking us the fuck out." he said, gesturing to the unimportant priest dude.

AND SO our daring crusaders journeyed out into the monster lords castle, and by castle, I mean the nice ass hotel that we avoided because T panicked and sanded Alice in the fucking eyes.

The hero of Illias-burg, sleeping in a homeless shelter.

More at eleven.

-LINE BREAKS, BREAK LIVES-

"Alright, so uh, who's idea was this?" T asked on top of the tall fucking hotel.

Hanging off a window.

To Cody's room.

Cody opened the window, because he walked into his room through the hotel like a sane human who didn't throw sand into the eyes of a monster woman.

"Alright, part one down." he said, crawling in "So uh, Cody, get your sh-"

"Where's Luka?" Cody questioned as he popped his armor back on.

"Huh?" he asked, looking around then was about to speak up when the door opened to reveal…

Luka!

Fucker looked dead tired, like he was about to drop dead, literally, then saw the duo and blinked, looked immensely relieved, ran over, and hugged them uncomfortably

"Uh, Luka, while hugs are nice, I'm pretty sure I don't want to be arrested, please, stop." T said worriedly as Luka ignored his sand throwin' ass to hug that bitch some more.

Cody shoved him off unceremoniously. He fell onto the ground like a sack of potatoes, I'm sure we haven't used that comparison before, "fuicking...levels man," Cody commented.

"I…I...WAAAAAHHH" Yep.

He was crying.

"I, I was so worried, that, that you guys...that you guys got, got hurt, or, or kidnapped, or...WAAAAAHHH" Oh fuck it was straight up sobbing.

"Way to push the kid over Cody." T said, throwing Cody under the bus, while also inching towards the door to fucking leave.

"Luka, you're old enough to be a hero," Cody reminded, then the universe he was in clicked into his head. Being a hero means jack shit.

"B-but...I'm...WAAAAAHHHH, I'm NOT A HERO, I NEVER GO BAAAAA" and then he just gross sob mumbled.

T got closer, and closer to the door, he reached for the knob slowly. Then Alice busted into the room.

"FOR FUCK SAKES I'M TRY-" then she saw T, and instantly grabbed his hand

Why?

Because he went for the sand instantly.

"Uh, can I get a boneless ama ama dango?"

"What?" she asked "How can those even be bon-" then T slammed his forehead into her nose.

Now ya see kids, T is still a weak bitch.

"OW FUCK MY FACE!" T yelled, having hurt his nose on her chin because he fucked up the headbutt, and well, it didn't even hurt her. At all.

"T, you will answer for-"

"MY FUCKING FACE, JESUS, DID I BREAK MY NOSE?!" T screamed over her, incoherent was her words because of it.

Cody would've laughed at this situation if Alice didn't have an unrelenting gaze of impending doom, so he took a step back to find himself slip on the frictionless area of the floor he made.

"OH JESUS, IS MY NOSE BLEEDING? GET THE TISSUES! FU-" then he was bitchslapped by Alice.

Alice dropped T to the ground, slithered over, bitchslapped Luka, then bitch slapped Cody, before going back to T and picking him up, only to bitchslap him back to the ground.

"Touche, good counter argument, I have been defeated in this verbal duel." T replied as he got up to his face and dusted himself off.

Luka was asleep. Just...Asleep. Not knocked out, he literally fell asleep on the spot after that.

Cody got up, holding the side of his face and assessed the absolute mess in front of him, 'we are all fucking children' he thought to himself.

"So, what'll it be? Grinding my bones to dust? Skinning me alive? Fisting me and using me like a sock puppet?" T suggested ways to fuck him up, as he knew he was fucked, royally.

Rip T, 2k17...I mean whenever we started fucking writing this.

2kgo fuck yourself I guess.

Man, technically a console generation has gone by since we started this. The nintendo bitch or something.

"...Why're you so suddenly hostile?" Alice asked, glaring her death glare of- We've went into this a fucking ton already haven't we?

"Huh? Uh, oh, uh...well...Alice, you tried to fucking rape me." T said seriously this time around with a scowl to boot.

Serious frown words for serious people.

"Like, fuck Alice, that's fucked up. You were forcing yourself onto me. Even when I said no, Alice, and that's, well, not okay. So yeah, I threw sand in your eyes, it was the only way I could get you off me without, well, stabbing you or something. I've already gone through like, what? Two near death experiences at this point from monster girls? Fuck if I'm just gonna go 'Oh hey you're nice, here's my dick' just because I thought you weren't going to rape me like them. Which I was apparently wrong for thinking."

Yes.

Yes T was trying to guilt trip Alice.

Was this wrong?

Fuck no, she's a rapist. Bitch.

Rape is wrong kids, fun fact for cool hedgehogs. Chili dawgs dudes.

"Seriously fam, just use Luka," Cody suggested, "I think he gets off on that shit."

She just kinda scrunched up her face in disgust, "I'd...prefer not to touch him. While he smells...nice, he's, well...he defecated himself. In front of me. Its, well...very off putting." she said, grossed out at the thought.

I mean, can you think sexy thoughts of a guy you've seen shit himself?

...Don't answer that you sick fucks.

She sighed "I...see, that I've...done some wrong here. I, well, should've acknowledge your consent…" she looked down for a moment, before looking up with a glare "You were flirting and asking for it, and I was just trying to train you to resist these things." she said, covering her currently non/half-existent ass.

Seriously what the fuck was up with that thing?

T glared "You know that's a load of shit and I'm disappointed you think I'm dumb enough to fall for the 'train me to deal with it' thing. And really? Ask for it? Oh yeah, Luka annoys me, he's asking to get murdered. Yeah, that's what you sound like Alice." T said, poking her roughly on the sternum as she leaned back, because well, moral high horse.

Being wrong is bothering enough to make someone forget they could snap the other in half like a twig.

"You, fucked, up. Accept it, or are you an actual fucking monster?" he said, before sighing "I'ma go beat the shit out of something, Cody? Come if ya want." T said angrily walking past.

As Cody walked out of the room with his bag and blade, he made a swift comment towards Alice, "Just go fuck some random fuck in town if you really need manmilk, I mean c'mon you're hot as fuck so it wouldn't be hard."

The door shut, and all Alice could say was: "What...the fuck?"

-Remember that we made it serious?-

T was plodding along after getting the quest hook to well, beat up the bandits.

And by bandits he full well knew he was gonna be beating the shit out of kids.

Our heroes folks.

And yes, if you get to the point of terrifying an entire fucking city you deserve to get kicked in the face.

Being that T got some dank ass good directions, they soon enough ran into you know who, because alternate story telling is for nerds and good writers.

Cough, shameless plug for 'I need a meatshield- I mean hero.' or whatever the real fuckin' name was. An actually good fic. Man, we should get paid for this advertisement.

Cough.

So yeah, they ran into the goblin, because duh.

"I'm a bandit, gimme your mon-"

Cody effortlessly ripped the hammer from the grip of the pathetic failure and just let it fall onto the ground, "No, gimme your money nerd."

Why to the ground?

The things like a quarter of a 600 pound anvil, at fucking least.

"Oowww, you big meanie-" she whined as T took the hammer off the ground and tested the weight. Levels are cool shit bro.

T eyed her, then looked at the cave, then eyes the hammer, and took it in two hands.

"-and, and you eat dirt- wait what are you- why're you spinning?" Goblins girl asked.

"BEYBLADE BEYBLADE LET IT FUCKING RIIIIIIIIP!" T screamed as he slammed the hammer head into her stomach and launched her into the cave.

"FOOOOOOORRRR, bitch." T said proudly, sighing in contentment before he blinked and looked horrified.

"Jesus fucking Christ T!"Cody yelled, "that was a god damn kid!"

"I fucking know! I'm sorry! I almost got raped alright gimme a fucking bre- wait no shouldn't use that as a excuse." he paused for a moment, thinking, then nodded once he came up with something "Alice tried to justify raping me Cody, c'mon. Let's, let's just fucking see if she's dead...god I don't wanna bury a kid." he said, plodding along with the hammer in his hand while leaned on his shoulder.

Cody gulped.

Then journeyed forth, and was confronted by a kinda scared but confident-ish lamia girl.

She began to speak her lines, when T walked up and she was startled, then startled again when he dropped her friends hammer on the ground and crouched at her...MENACINGLY!

He reached out suddenly and...grabbed her tail.

Being this is porn she tried to moan, which T just jerked her tail and began spinning.

"WAHOO, ITSA ME, MARIO MOTHERFUCKER!" then launched her into the wall, making a dent.

"Y'know, I am oddly candid despite almost killing a kid. That's a problem." he paused.

Then shrugged for dramatic effect.

Next up with the Vampire who popped out and was like 'Look into my eyes fuckbois.'

"...Fuck off." T said, tossing sand in her eyes then punting her into the roof.

Jesus man this is a slaughter.

Cody just followed behind T, trying to avoid looking at the lolis and child abuse. Albeit, it was probably smarter to wait outside the cave. But in that case, he wouldn't get EXP

Rape is wrong, but child abuse is k if you have an excuse.

Our heroes folks.

He didn't even let the dragon speak, just spun around and murder-stroked her with the counter weight.

Yes, he grabbed the hammer, and slammed her in the face with the wrong end.

Also they got like two levels or fucking whatever. Maybe three. For Cody. T got like one, because he'd got some dank EXP for sanding Alice in her vagina-face.

T eventually found the Goblin, embedded in the wall deep in the cave, and well, she wasn't dead it appeared.

"Thank fucking anime jesus cody, fuck." T sighed, as if he didn't just mercilessly abuse three other children without remorse.

T then paused, looked at his hammer, then nodded.

"I regret nothing." he said.

Our, fucking, heroes folks.

Safe to say, everything of value that they could carry was taken. Including their kettle. Because olden day kettles were fuckin expensive man.

Le funny hero folk maymay.

Har har.

But yeah, robbed fuckin' blind. They pocketed everything, and T tied three of them with the lamia girls tail, and just kinda sat there until they stopped being unconscious, then started screaming. Why?

T was just crouching there, with his hammer on his shoulders, leaning in.

Menacingly.

So yeah they screamed for awhile.

"A-a-are you gonna kill us?" "Or eat us!" "Or, or sell us?!" "Or, or...Rape us?!"

"Do you fuckin' want me to?" T asked confused, then shook his head "Whatever, you all-" he swung and smashed his hammer next to them, causing them to scream again. "-are gonna apologize to everyone in the village, and you're gonna promise to work off your debts, and you don't know where a single gold went, got it? You came back, and it was gone." T glared at them intensely.

10/10 best heroes.

"B-bu-"

"IT WAS FUCKING-" he smashed the hammer into the ground "-GONE."

They screamed "YES, yeah, GONE, yeah gone- oh please don't kill us."

T smiled happily "Good." he reached down and untied them "Now, if I don't hear about you doing honest work…" he leans in "I will find you, and I will kill you."

Yes, they screamed, and ran, for miles.

RIP T's moral standing.

Cody vomited the moment they left the cave, "I fucking hate lolis…and getting near one was..."

"Yeah, the vampire's...cloak was riding up. Probably shoulda threatened murder if they didn't get some fucking clothing. Oh well, nobody's perfect." T said, shrugging. "Let's go get that rewards for beating their ass." he said as he walked out of the cave, backpack a jingling.