A/N: This is a Sakura/Ino yuri. This is rated M, for swearing, alocohol usage and sexual references. There will be another author's note at the end.
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. Obviously.
Chapter 7: Gangly Crane Fly
I had once written a poem about fly tape, titled "Fly Tape" (yes, redundant, I know; but isn't that the nature of poem titles?). It was simply a collection of a short run of thoughts I had on a crowded piece of fly tape that hung in my kitchen. Earlier that day my teacher had requested we (my classmates and I) write brief poems about what we saw. I figured everyone in my class would write about something monumental, like the guy or girl they liked, or a beautiful flower they saw outside—I had planned to do that too. That was, until I had seen that sticky graveyard, adorned by many dead insects of varying sizes. I knew, in that instant, under the dim, dirty light of my kitchen, that I would have to write about the fly tape.
The poem was short and economical; simply effortless to write:
Stuck to death, a macabre ornament,
slowly fading from this world.
What a cruel, sad way to die.
What a terrible way to say goodbye.
And that was all (apart from the fact that I had changed the word "terrible" into "unfulfilling"). As I stood before Temari's room early that morning, I realized that I had been drawn to the fly tape long ago and that I was slowly dying, surrounded by others and yet alone. I was the clumsy, gangly crane fly that had stupidly tumbled into the tape during flight. It was willing, yet accidental.
And with that metaphor completed, I was convinced that I would punch Temari's lights out the moment I saw her face.
Unfortunately (well I suppose it was fortunate for her), it wasn't Temari who had opened the door. It was her roommate, Karin (and I knew this because last night had been perfect for me to finally learn my hall mates' names).
"Oh hi Sakura," she said with chipper and I wondered why she enjoyed the mornings so much. I knew I didn't. She smiled and I found myself taking note of how similar her lips were to Ino's; just not as lovely.
"Hey," I said, losing my steam to destroy Temari. I guess talking with her would be better… I didn't want to get expelled.
"Oh, you're probably here to talk to Temari," she blushed and I wondered if Temari had been playing with her heart as well. I wanted to warn her, but perhaps Temari hadn't been doing that.
"Someone here for me?" I heard Temari as she came to the door. "Oh," she said, looking a bit surprised.
I cut right to the chase.
"What did you say to Ino?" I asked her, trying to keep the anger out of my voice. Karin looked startled and backed away quietly. Temari held her ground, looking defensive.
"I don't know what you're talking about," she said, shrugging.
I wanted to warn her that I was not in the best of moods. I was agitated because I knew that I had been reckless and had gotten myself stuck to the fly tape.
"Look, now's not the fucking time to be playing innocent. You said something to her about you and me, something that should've been forgotten about a long time ago," I hissed, glaring hard into her eyes. Temari was taller than me, by at least three inches, but there was no way in hell I was going to let her get away with this atrocity.
"Look, I only told her what she asked. Whatever is going on is merely a product of you being secretive with your so called 'best friend'," she smiled, smugly, and chuckled.
That bitch!
And then, the unthinkable happened. My Freudian Id won over my Ego and I finally just let go. I felt the biggest adrenaline rush I had ever felt in my life and I let my fist fly, haphazardly, into the doorframe in anger. The sound of wood ripping met my ears and Temari jumped, startled by the quick and fierce impact of my fist against the now detached chunk of wood that used to complete her door frame.
"I'm not fucking laughing! Don't play around with me Temari! I don't like it," I huffed, angrily. I turned and stormed off, suddenly becoming aware that I was not fit to be around people at the moment. The hall was crowded with girls, watching on. Did they not have anything better to do?
Her eyes, deep and blue, were wide and worried and it looked as if she had been prepared to apologize. Well she could forget about that, I wasn't about second chances. Second chances were for those who wished to be exploited. I wasn't looking to be taken advantage of. Not today, not tomorrow, not ever.
I stomped around the front yard to the school for a while, trekking through the parking lot and weaving through the trees, my mind blank. I saw my hall mistress watching me, every now and then, through the window. My counselor was talking to her. I had once had a lot of anger problems and… I flipped out on this girl who had been cheating off of my test in middle school. That hadn't gone well. Teachers had been instructed to look out for my instantaneous swells of anger. I hadn't had one, yet. I'd been able to keep it all in, until then. Could you imagine? I wondered if they were going to come lecture me now.
I sighed, tiredly, annoyed with myself. Why couldn't I just be normal; like everyone else?
My ears were met with a mirroring sigh and I peered around the tree I was standing near to see Shikamaru resting in its shade. I sat next to him, wondering if he really wanted me there.
"Hey," I tried, and he glanced over at me and revealed a lopsided smirk.
"Hey. Congrats on your scores."
"Oh yeah," I said, remembering I had done well. "Thanks."
"You did really well too," I added, wondering if he cared at all that I had beaten him. Probably not; that's just how he was.
It was quiet once more and I took the time to gaze out across the small expanse of grass to see the school, clean, new, and funded. I often wondered if I really belonged here, with these kids, privileged and elite… I wasn't much different from them. I was qualified to attend. I was just… not like them, that was all.
Shikamaru broke the silence. "What are you brooding over?"
I didn't have to have any reservations when talking with him. He was no gossiper—he rarely spoke to anyone—he could keep a secret.
"Ino… she asked me to kiss her," I mumbled with a fresh blush painting my cheeks the way wispy white clouds dusted the midday sky. My fingers suddenly became very rough with the grass, ripping out the blades in no sort of pattern.
"Why?"
A simple word, and yet it provoked such thought from me. It was indeed a good question. Why had she asked me to kiss her? She said it was because she had failed with Sasuke and…
"She's curious," I said, softly, pained. "Just experimentation, I guess."
"Then what's the problem?" he asked shutting his eyes once more.
"I don't want to be her little play thing, that's the problem!" I huffed, annoyed with him suddenly.
"What does it matter? It's just kissing. It's not going to kill you."
"Yes it will," I thought in my head, "I will die by this curse."
"Shika, you don't understand," I mumbled. He looked at me, calculatingly.
"Sakura, this is no different from that time you asked to kiss me."
"I'm sorry," I said, meeting his narrow black eyes. "I shouldn't have done that to—"
"I don't care, Sakura, but obviously you do. So the question now is 'why'?"
"You can't expect me to just let her mess around with me like that." I knew what he was getting at. He wouldn't hear it from my lips; I was far too stubborn for that.
"You like her, that's the problem. Had it been some fling with a girl you didn't care for, you'd be all over it, but it's not just some random girl. It's Ino, the girl you like. So now, you have to decide Sakura; you're the only one who can make this decision."
"I don't want to, though."
That was a tough decision. Either I indulge in Ino and make out with her whenever she wanted, knowing she was only going through a phase, or I could completely lock her out and walk away without even enjoying her. I didn't want to use her, but I certainly didn't want to make her unhappy. I was at a loss—nothing good could come from this. If I continued to allow Ino to use me this way, I'd only fall for her harder and when she finally decided that she was done with me and she'd had her fill, I'd be even more heartbroken. Absolutely shattered.
"Did you kiss her?"
"Yeah, but then afterwards…"
Afterwards, I turned off the light and wiped the tears from my eyes. I didn't want to get back into bed, because Ino was waiting there for me, but I did anyways. Where else was I supposed to go? If I had left the room or climbed into her bunk I would have betrayed my façade. She would've known something was up. I didn't need her knowing I liked her. I couldn't handle that, especially not then.
I climbed back into bed and Ino seemed ready to chat with me about her first experiment.
"Saku?" she questioned timidly as I pulled the comforter up.
"Yeah?" I asked her, cursing myself for allowing a tremor to slip into my voice.
"I… um… you're lips are really soft."
"Thanks," I mumbled. I couldn't speak to her now. She didn't respond and I took comfort in knowing that I had faced away from her, gazing out into the dimly illuminated room.
"You're a good kisser too," she whispered and I kept quiet. I didn't want to talk about this. No, I just didn't want to.
"You too Ino," I said to sate her waiting ears. She sighed, and I wondered if it was in relief of my approval. I felt her moving and I wondered if she had turned away from me. That was until I felt her lips press against my cheek.
"Goodnight," she said. I could feel her warmth fluttering against my face. I swallowed hard.
"Goodnight," I replied in a bare whisper.
She kissed me again, half on my lips, "Thank you."
The wind brushed my hair across my face and Shikamaru looked at me with a frown.
"You kissed her? Well damn, Sakura, you're screwed."
"I don't understand…" I trailed off, confused about what he was saying.
"I know girls like Ino… Once you've kissed her, she'll think she can come back whenever she pleases." (1)
I felt distressed and I wondered how he could keep such a calm and collected demeanor with a situation as such brewing hell right beneath his watchful eye. This was a disaster. A catastrophe. An abomination. I had signed my soul over to the devil. I would soon find myself further stuck to the sticky fly tape, holding fast to its aromatic destruction. I was now her little plaything. A disposable toy. Something as pathetic and useless as those ghetto ass, plastic pieces of shit that come in kid's meals at fast food restaurants.
I had officially become Ino Yamanaka's first fruitless experiment.
1- Anyone else beginning to wonder about Shikamaru's love life? haha, yeah, don't bother yourself with that.
A/N: I updated, just as I said I would! I apologize for the slow progression of this story, it does pick up in the next few chapters. Sakura's really found herself in a tough situation, huh? ALSO: I posted a poll in my profile I think you should check out. It involves my next story idea. So please give me your opinion.
Thanks for reading; please review,
-E.E.
