Title: Patience Is For Amateurs (sequel to At Least She's Jewish by cleanslate)

Characters: Rachel/Puck, OC, Gleeks

Rating: M - Puck has a potty mouth on principle & Rachel/Puck are married and totally do married stuff.

Disclaimer: Sadly, I only own the CDs, DVD and a McKinley Football hoodie I got on eBay. I also named Puckerberry's son so cleanslate and I have joint custody of him.

A/N: A huge cyberhug for cleanslate for letting me play with her fanfic and being a great Beta Babe!

"Whoever said patience is a virtue is totally full of shit." Noah A. Puckerman, Sr.

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"Noah! P-P-Please don't go! Please talk to me!" Rachel's sad voice carried down the hallway. Her husband didn't return to their bedroom despite her pleas. She waffled about the situation for a while; whether this was something she should confront him with to finally finish or let him be angry for tonight. She chose to roll over in the hope that she could get some rest, if only for her babies' well-being. Noah was rightly furious at her and she hoped he could see her side by the time morning came. She also hoped she hadn't broken her marriage too badly. She knew when she realized she was pregnant he should have been told. She knew it and her fear of another miscarriage, no matter how slim, had terrified her into silence. When she had told Quinn her friend had asked her how he felt and was shocked when it was obvious he didn't know. Quinn had begged her to tell Noah but she thought she could put it off, just a little bit longer. Rachel knew she had screwed up so she was paying for it now.

Noah could hear Rachel start to sniff as he walked downstairs to the living room. After chucking the blanket and sleeping bag on the couch he stood in front of their DVD collection. He needed to select the movie with the best combination of explosions and senseless violence to help him get rid of his anger.

Evil Dead or Doomsday? Chainsaws and excessive blood or hot scantily clad chicks kicking butt in a world gone crazy after an unknown disease?

He chose Doomsday. It fit the bill nicely - hot chicks, kinda the Mad Max thing going on a shitload of bloody violence. Perfect. He looked around the room for the laptop and its' headphones, he'd rather not wake Ash up. It sucked enough to be on the outs with his wife, he sure didn't want his son pissed at him. Their son had inherited his intelligence from both his parents but definitely gotten his short fuse from his father. Asher had refused to talk to his parents for a span of forty-eight hours when he was two because they had refused to get him a robot exactly like the one he had seen in a movie - a toy that didn't exist.

While the movie started to load, Noah decided he needed something to eat while he enjoyed his movie. He released a loud sigh as he trudged to the kitchen to find himself a snack. He glanced at the shelves of their pantry in the hope that something struck his fancy, the bad taste in his mouth needed to be taken care of. Extra points if it could crunch loudly enough to drown out the guilt inducing sniffling down the hall.

Cheese puffs it is!

A handful were jammed into his mouth he turned his attention to the refrigerator and the fifth of Jack he had put in the freezer.

Extra points if it could make him forget the last hour of his life permanently. Excellent. It was still there.

After grabbing a cup from the nearby drainer he poured himself a heaping helping and gulped it back several times. A warm buzz started to take over his brain, slowing it down to a crawl.

How fucking stupid could I be? Everyone fucking knew Rachel was pregnant but me. I know her body better than anyone but why didn't I fucking see she was beginning to show? Damn it! I deserve this shit, don't I? I'm just a fucking Lima loser. They were right. The fuckers! I'm still that little shit - totally clueless even five years later. Fuck. No wonder she didn't want to tell me she thought she might be pregnant again. She probably thought I'd totally freak and skate this time. Just like my Dad. Fuck.

Noah walked back to the living room with his supplies to enjoy his movie. He hoped the alcohol would stop the fucking annoying thinking that was going on in his brain. He wasn't sure if it was because it was starting to hurt or because he was feeling overwhelmed at what the next year would bring. When they first had Asher they had some vague idea of what it would be like raising a baby. Sort of. They found out quickly that they didn't really have a clue and that it was very complicated to be a parent. By the time Rachel and Noah had felt confident about parenting their lives had taken a huge u-turn with their car accident.

Nothing like the universe kicking your ass just when you think you've got it right! He so fucking didn't want this to be one of those times.

Noah's glassy eyes stared at the movie until he realized that he was watching the end credits. He also realized several other important things - he was seriously tired and he seriously needed to take a piss. He shut down the laptop, the lights then shuffled upstairs to take care of the other business. After making the necessary pit stop he stripped down to his boxers and climbed into bed next to his wife. He pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her and placed one hand on her middle and the other cupped her breast. Rachel stirred slightly as she turned her head to gently kiss his temple. She turned back around, pushed herself into his warmth, then moved her hands to lace her fingers in his.

"I messed up, Noah. I know I did, but can you at least try to understand why I waited? I was terrified it would happen again. I don't think I could handle something like that a second time."

Rachel waited for his response in the darkness. She hoped he would understand.

"I'm not a fuck up, Rach. I'm fuckin' not." he whispered into her hair. "Every time I said that I wasn't going to be a deadbeat like my Dad I fuckin' meant it. I didn't skate when we found out about Ash and I'm not fuckin' going anywhere now. I'm not a fuck up."

"I know you're not, Noah." she said quietly. She squeezed the hand that he had placed on her belly. "We wouldn't have these two blessings if that were the case."

"I'm scared shitless, Rach! Why the fuck am I so scared if I love you and Ash? I don't fuckin' get it."

She could feel how terrified he was. It started to make her more than a little nervous that he kept hugging her closer in an attempt to stop the shaking and the fact that he smelled like alcohol didn't help much. She turned back around to face him while she tried to reassure him, putting both their hands on her midsection.

"We're going to make it, Noah. I know that together we can do this as much as I know that I love you. We both know it's going to be hard but I think we can do this. Don't you?" she paused to wait for his response.

Noah pulled her closely into a hug. "I love you, Rach. You always know what to say to stop the hamster in my head from blowing up."

Rachel laughed at her husband's ability to joke and break the tension. Yet another reason to love him! She squeezed him back a few times. She was definitely feeling many times more optimistic than she was earlier in the evening. When she exhaled loudly she realized she should gently remind him that it was the middle of the night and that they had busy day tomorrow.

"Noah? I really hate to interrupt, but we do need to get some sleep. We have about three hours until we have to get up." she groaned at the thought. This pregnancy was really draining her and she had a hunch that it wasn't going to get easier as it progressed.

"Okay, babe. I'm just gonna brush my teeth and hit the john again. I've got a godawful taste in my mouth. That's the last time I mix cheese puffs and Jack. Ugh." he screwed up his face as he covered his mouth with his hand.

Rachel lay back down to wait for her husband to climb back in next to her. She closed her eyes, pulled the blankets up and snuggled in. Noah quickly returned to the warm bed and resumed his position next to her.

"We need to have a Gleek family meeting to let them know about, well, y'know, shit and stuff. They'll be pissed as hell if we don't tell them about.." he paused.

"I know." she wondered when he would bring that up. "Let's wait until after the appointment on Friday. We'll know more by then, okay?"

"Okay, babe" he kissed her cheek.

"I love you, Noah."

"I love you, Rach."


The next three hours passed far too quickly for Rachel and Noah's liking. Their noisy alarm went off and they dragged themselves out of bed to get ready for their busy day. Rachel went to wake Asher up while Noah jumped in the shower. He really hoped by the time he was finished and had walked downstairs that there would be a hot breakfast ready. He was not feelin' cold cereal after his bad beverage choice from the night before. He gargled some of the hot shower water then spit. Eggs and toast with a hot mug of coffee sounded like heaven. The smell that greeted him as he entered the kitchen just about knocked him off his feet.

Asher had a mouthful of scrambled eggs when he greeted his father. Noah was showered with yellow blobs and a big smile from his son. "Hiya, Da! Mama made an awesome breakfast!" he shoveled more in his mouth.

"Whoa! Slow down there, killer! You need to chew that stuff before you swallow it. Got it, Ash? Chew it." Noah emphasized the last two words as he sat down.

After a quick kiss, Rachel set a full plate in front of him. If his son wasn't there, Noah was pretty sure he would have done something very adult to her on that very table - after he totally licked his plate clean. He grabbed her hand to pull her down onto his lap. She put her arm around his waist, squeezing him a few times.

"I'd better get ready for school, Noah. I'm glad I ironed my outfit last night and hung it up! It'll save me loads of time this morning." she winked at him then gave him a peck on the cheek.

The rest of the morning was a blur with all the school day chaos. Asher was dressed, packed his own lunch and then walked to the bus stop with his parents trying to keep up. Rachel and Noah waved at him until the bus was out of sight.

"I'm so proud of him, Noah! He has such a big heart, he's smart, and there is never a dull moment when he's around." she rolled her eyes at the last bit.

"So, back to one of our unfinished discussions, Rach. Why, exactly, does he need all that extra shit at school? What was that thingy that Ms. Flynn was talking about. That paper that you needed to sign?" he wasn't trying to start a fight but his voice was on edge.

Rachel tried to think of the best way to explain things. She knew their son needed some help, why didn't he see it? Considering he had to start all over from scratch when he was just a toddler, he was doing remarkably. Noah needed to see that!

"The paperwork she was talking about was Asher's I.E.P. It's an acronym for individualized educational program. In other words, it's his progress and his goals for the school year. It talks about his strengths and weaknesses and how he can work for his goals. It's actually pretty helpful. Don't you remember all his preschool meetings?" she squeezed his hand a little as she spoke.

"I thought they were just really intense parent teacher conferences. I had no idea other parents didn't get all that info. I just thought Ash had some really detail fixated teachers! Like I know shit about any of this."

He was so embarrassed he couldn't look at her. He knew he was clueless about plenty, but his son shouldn't be one of those things. Shit.

"Noah, quit mentally kicking yourself over this. We're still big noobs when it comes to parenting." she laughed.

He cracked a grin when he heard her say "noob". He had used it often when talking about gaming, but it sounded hilarious when she said it. "You do know it sounds like 'boob', right?" he snorted. "You just can't pull those kinds of words off, Rach! I'm just gonna laugh about that for a bit, 'kay?"

She punched him in the arm. "So when I say things that you would I sound humorous? So if I were to proposition you the way you proposition me by whispering something in your ear you'd be laughing too hard to take me in a manly fashion?" she emphasized the word "hard" to make her point.

Noah stared at her with her hands on her hips for a moment before he scooped her up, threw her over his shoulder and ran the rest of the way back to their apartment. He answered her question twice in the next half hour, once rather loudly. He most definitely did not laugh but he did agree that the yoga classes she had been taking were quite helpful.

"Thank you for answering my question, Noah." she said as they both got dressed for the second time that day. "I knew you'd see the error of your ways."

"Pffft! You still sound like a tool when you use slang, babe. You're also pretty shittacular at swearing. But with that bangin' body I get sidetracked easily. I blame you." he kissed her on the top of the head.

Rachel's face turned crimson. "You've seen me in labor, nursing, sick as a dog, and bent over a toilet with morning sickness but you still say that. I don't know why you still think I'm…"

He quickly interrupted, putting his arms around her to pull her close, "Hot. Totally hot. Even when you yell at me for not putting my clothes in the laundry basket or leaving the toilet seat up. I do have to say that right now with that little baby bump you got goin' and the rack of doom I am especially attracted to you. I think your big brain just adds to that."

Rachel put her head to her husband's chest for a few moments before stepping back. "We really need to get to work, Noah. I'd hate to be late the first week of school especially after my embarrassing fainting yesterday." she cringed a little. "Not that I wouldn't want to spend the rest of the day listening to my very handsome mechanic of a husband keep complimenting me but…"

"I know, I know. We're still meeting for lunch, right?"

"Yup. We have lunch at noon so just come down to the music room and then we'll head to the cafeteria."

When they got in their car Rachel looked at the back seat sighing loudly. "We're going to have a get a new car, aren't we? There is no way we can get two rear-facing car seats and Asher's booster in that backseat. Ugh!"

Noah had a look of panic on his face when he realized that she was right. "Fuck. I so don't want to take out another car loan, Rach. We just got both of ours paid off!" he leaned his head forward accidentally honking the horn.

Rachel played with his hair, "We're going to be fine, I promise. Maybe Mr. Hummel can find us a good car at a decent price? I'm sure he'd be happy to help."

A few minutes later, Noah dropped Rachel off at school then quickly headed for the Hummel's garage. He was thankful he had a shitload of things to do. He had enjoyed one too many emotional enemas in the last twenty-four hours and was ready to not think about anything serious for a few hours. Of course working for Burt Hummel was never boring since Kurt had taken over the marketing aspect of the garage. He knew exactly how to make the newspaper ads look, the radio ads sound and how the waiting room should look for the customers. Kurt knew that people getting their cars restored had money they wanted to spend and he wanted them to spend it at their garage. Noah was the first to admit that Kurt knew exactly what to say and how to those moneybags, and he thanked him every day for it. He loved it job and the fact that he was paid very well just made him like it even more.

"Hey, Hummel. What's the plan for today? Are we still working on the Roadster or is it the Caddy?"

Kurt rolled his eyes at Noah as he handed him the schedule for the day. They were booked solid! Cha-ching!

On the other side of town Rachel was setting up her lesson plan for the day, thankful she had a full box of saltine crackers in her desk as well as a pitcher of ginger tea in the teachers' lounge. She looked at the wall clock to try figure out how much time she had before the first class arrived.; soon after she heard the voices of the third graders she was expecting.

They all greeted her in unison, "Hello, Mrs. Puckerman!" It was their first music class of the year so they were very excited about what new instruments they would learn how to play. Last year it had been recorders, maybe they would get to use xylophones or keyboards this year.

Rachel greeted them brightly ,"Hello, everyone! Please have a seat in the chairs and we'll get started."

The class listened politely while she set out the xylophones and mallets. She explained that they would get some free play with it today but next week they would start learning how to play songs.

Thankfully, the next several classes went very quickly and it was time for Rachel and Noah to meet up for lunch. Yawning, Rachel laid her head down on her desk while she waited for her husband to get there. She almost leapt out of her chair when she felt a warm hand stroking her back.

"Whoa, babe! It's just me!" Noah extended his arms out then knelt down next to her chair, placing his hands on her thigh. "I really didn't mean to scare you. I just saw you sleeping there and you looked obnoxiously adorable."

A quick kiss and they were off to the cafeteria to enjoy pizza day.

Please take a moment to comment/review. It's what feeds writers! I do respond to every person who clicks the magic button. (I'm also taking baby name suggestions since it will take me forever to decide.)