Hello, I hope you like this chapter, because I'm fighting against large amounts of writer's block to write it. No joke, I'm making it up as I write this author's note. So...hows it goin'?

Ash: Get to the story already!!!

So you want to be killed off early in the story?

Ash: You won't kill me off, I'm the main character!

You won't be very long with that kind of attitude! Anyway, I got some ideas now, so on with the story!

Andy stared in wonder at the supply of guns that were stored in S-mart. They weren't actually in Housewares, but were in the storage room right under it. "S-mart has people working to get every firearm in this room legalized so they can sell it," said Ash, having worked at S-mart before becoming a cop. The room had sniper rifles, sawed-off shotguns, assault rifles, grenades and even handheld cannons, or knock guns as Ash called them. "When they finally succeed in legalizing a weapon, it goes into the sporting goods isle," Andy didn't question the ethics of this, since he intended to steal these weapons anyway.

As Ash gathered the guns he deemed useful, something caught his eye: one of those new Artillery 5000s! These new SAWs were only legal in Texas and California, and had a built in flamethrower, machine gun, grenade launcher, microwave, and even a boombox. He hefted it over his shoulder. Due to all the features in the thing, there was an instruction manual on how to operate it. After reading it, he picked up the gun, and waited by the trap door that led back up to housewares.

Lisa armed herself with a Winchester, and a speargun; Andy simply got an assault rifle and some grenades. Lisa had the lightest weapons, so she climbed up the ladder first. She got out just in time to be grabbed by Michael Myers!

Ash moved up the ladder with speeds unheard-of for someone hefting an Artillery 5000. Michael threw Lisa against the wall, and picked up the nail gun that she had discarded. He shot her through the ribs, and in the leg. She picked up the speargun and fired it, but he simply caught the spear. He emptied the last three nails in the gun into her shoulders, and knee caps. He then discarded the empty weapon, and went to finish her off with the spear. "Hey, Captain Kirk, over here!" He turned around and was pumped full of lead fired from Ash's Artillery 5000. Ash climbed out of the trapdoor, and walked up to the legendary killer. "No William Shatner wanna be messes with my girlfriend!" Myers suddenly got up and stabbed Ash through the hip with his spear!

Ash dropped his huge weapon in pain. He staggered back, and his nemesis got to his feet. Michael lifted up the spear. Ash started up his chainsaw. "Come get some!" said Ash. Myers charged forward, spear raised. Ash dodged the spear, and swung the chainsaw, but Myers ducked to avoid decapitation. This guy is definitely smarter than Leatherface, thought Ash. The two fought for hours, Michael stabbing, and Ash swinging, but neither gained on the other. It was the fight of Ash's life as he fought off the crazed psychopath. "What are you gonna do?" asked Ash, "Shoot me with your photon torpedos?" While they were fighting, Andy aimed his assault rifle at Michael Myers, hoping to slow down the killer so Ash could finish him off with his chainsaw. However, before he could fire, two huge, muscular arms grabbed him. "Your gonna taste good," said Papa Jupiter.

Ash was beginning to slow down, and barely managed to dodge another stab of the spear. "You gonna raise the shields captain?" he asked, mocking the evil man. He dodged a stab aimed for his shoulder, but his arm was cut. He saw a huge man grab Andy. "Shit!" he yelled, as he ducked under another jab. He slashed at Michael's stomach, but the masked asshole jumped back, and his stomack was barely cut. Ash couldn't keep this up much longer. "Hey ugly," yelled Lisa, "suck on this!" a spear hit Michael right through the gut. Ash cut his arm of, then threw kicked him into the trapdoor. "Scotty can't save you now!" Ash said as he threw a grenade into the trapdoor, and shut it. "What kind of sick freak wears a William Shatner mask anyway?"

Ash then picked up his Artillery 5000, and went after Andy. He found him laying at Jupiter's feet. Jupiter was a very large man, and none of him was fat! He had a beard that made Gimili look bald. Andy rolled over, and tried to get up. Jupiter simply stepped on the poor mans chest. Andy pulled out a combat knife and stabbed the large man in the foot, Aragorn style. "You think you can hurt me, weak little rodent?" Ash was angered by the looming death of his comrade. "Maybe not, but I sure will!"

Ash shot the man in the face...with a paintball. I thought that was the flamethrower, he thought I shouldn't have left the instructions in the Boomstick chamber! "It takes more than paint to kill me," said Jupiter, clearly amused. "Come get some, Papa Stupider!" Ash yelled. He pressed another button, which lauched a blinding flare. The big man was blinded, giving Ash time. He pressed yet another button, firing more paintballs at the Zeus-look-alike. Who the hell combines a real gun and a paintball gun? Yet another button started the radio, which played "Walkin' On Sunshine" That's ironic, Jupiter had recovered from the flare, and was walking towards Ash, with the radio still playing. The arrow buttons must change the channel, so that leaves three buttons left! There was a blue one, a green one, and a red one. He decided to press the green one first. The radio still played; the happy music made light of the situation.

"I'm walkin' on sunshine, whoa'oh!" At first nothing happened, but victory was confirmed when... "I'm walkin' on sunshine, whoa'oh!"...he heard the sound of explosive diaria came from Jupiter's pants. "I'm walkin' on sunshine, whoa'oh!" One of the two remaining buttons was the flamethrower, and the other was the grenade launcher, which would kill him, Jupiter, and Andy. He only had seconds before a very pissed Jupiter was close enough to hurt him. "I'm walkin' on sunshine, whoa'oh!" He tried to use the machine gun, but he was out of ammo. I hate this gun! "I'm walkin' on sunshine, whoa'oh!" He pressed the red button.

"I'm walkin' on sunshine, whoa'oh!"

Ash: not another cliff-hanger!

Yes, I plan to put a terrible cliff-hanger in every chapter up to the end! Even the end of this story will contain a cliff-hanger! I think I should explain something; but I'll let Ash do it for me. He had a reason for calling Michael Myers Captain Kirk.

Ash: For you idiots that didn't get it, Michael Myers original mask was William Shatner mask that was spray painted white. William Shatner plays Kirk in Star Trek, or played him since Kirk is dead now.

Anyway, the "Walkin' On Sunshine" bit was for all you songfic fans out there, which I don't really have a problem with, but just thought it was funny. I hope my fans like it, and I'm wondering if I should post it in the Chucky section to get more reviews. I intend to have a certain beloved Vampire killer show up in the next chapter, but it won't be D, since he's too powerful, and would overshadow the other characters. Well, please R&R!