See end of chapter for notes.


Atychiphobia (org. Greek): n. the fear of failure; the fear of not being good enough


Chapter Seven: Lessons Learned


In Which a Swordsman Takes a Student and Our Traveler Takes a Chance


Kuwabara hated cars. Ever since Urameshi got creamed by one the entire world had been unsettled—and he should know, he was psychic. Urameshi came back because of a scheduling conflict, little old ladies were more badass than twenty Urameshis put together, youkai used music to control mind eating insects, and Kuwabara had the nasty feeling that this was just the beginning. He'd jumped into the portal after Urameshi because—well, because Urameshi was his best friend, when he really stood back and considered mushy stuff like feelings, and there was no way he was letting the punk get wrapped up in youkai and spirits and monsters when a few months ago he'd been about as spiritually aware as a rock. More importantly, it had felt like the right thing to do. Not right as in right versus wrong (though that too—mind eating insects were definitely wrong in Kuwabara Kazuma's book), but right as in two plus two equals four.

Whatever was going on wasn't going to stop, and Kuwabara was going to end up involved one way or another. As far as he was concerned, better to jump head first than to get dragged under.

And now the latest evidence the world had turned upside down was standing in his backyard watching him with hands folded behind his back in the picture of patience. Kuwabara had followed enough of the conversation inside to know the deceptively harmless looking teenager in front of him was light-years smarter than him. Maybe even a genius. And geniuses did not ask the local punks for help learning something new.

"This is ten different kinds of weird," Kuwabara said to himself.

"Indeed," Minamino agreed. He hooked one ankle behind the other and folded to sit on the ground.

Kuwabara joined him with much less grace, leaning his chin on his palms. "You're really serious about learning how to take care of your mom?"

"Deathly so."

"Wow… She must mean a lot to you, huh?"

Minamino nodded once, and Kuwabara got the feeling he didn't really want to talk about that anymore. Made sense. He'd said before that his mom had been really sick, and that she'd been one of the people to get possessed by those nasty things yesterday. Kuwabara tried to imagine how he'd feel to see someone he knew like that, and couldn't come up with anything beyond really bad. He didn't really know where Kuroji and Botan got off wondering why this kid wanted to help out—wouldn't anyone, after something like that?

"May I ask you something, Kuwabara-sensei?" Minamino asked, interrupting his thoughts.

"Oh, God, don't do that!" Kuwabara yelped. "Just… Just call me Kuwabara, okay? I know I'm supposed to be helping you out, dude, but I'm really no one's sensei."

Minamino smiled like he had a secret, but Kuwabara was beginning to suspect that's what his normal smile looked like. "Very well, Kuwabara-kun. May I ask you a question, though?"

Kuwabara sighed, but gave up trying to get him to leave the manners alone. "Yeah, okay, Minamino-kun."

"Please, as I told Botan-san, Shuuichi is fine." Minamino flashed him a smile, and changed the subject. "Botan-san said you had an abnormally strong sixth sense. Exactly what does that entail?"

"Well, I can usually tell when something weird is going on. Like if there's a ghost hanging around, I can feel it, even if I can't see or hear it. And I'm really, really good at rock-paper-scissors! And yesterday in Maze Castle, I could navigate our group around the booby traps, because I could feel where danger was."

Mina—er, Shuuichi nodded. "You also said I felt like a normal human… What was your comparison?"

"Urameshi's gotten some really neat abilities since he came back from the dead," Kuwabara explained. "He feels a lot more dangerous, but he's still totally human. I knew Botan wasn't human, even if I didn't know she was a shinigami until today. And I know Kuroji's youkai."

"Kuroji is—?" He turned, looking at the back porch where Kuroji was watching the impulsive training session turned conversation. Botan had disappeared off to Reikai to try and smooth things over with Koenma, but the youkai had decided to stick around and watch. He lifted one hand and waved at them. "Can he hear us?"

"Yeah, probably," Kuwabara said. "He said he was koumori yesterday, and bats can hear really good, right?" Kuroji waved again, settling down in his chair and crossing his arms behind his head. Even from here Kuwabara could see the slightest bit of fang in his grin. "He's not really a bad sort, for a youkai. Nothing like the other one…"

"Other one? Wait, no, not right now," Shuuichi waved his own question away with clear reluctance. "I was thinking about your sixth sense. It sounds very useful in a fight, but it doesn't sound like much of a weapon…"

"Oh, my sixth sense isn't my weapon!" Kuwabara said cheerfully. "Heck, Shizuru's got a stronger sixth sense than I do, but I can do something really cool that she can't!" He jumped to his feet again and took a few steps away, and concentrated on his hand, pulling the little mental twist he'd figured out. With a zing of energy, an orange, shimmering blade erupted from his hand.

Shuuichi stared. Kuwabara couldn't help but be a bit smug; Shuuichi seemed the sort to not be surprised by anything, but he'd just made his jaw drop. Well, kind of. "That's… That's astounding," he said after a moment, and stood, bending to look at the sword more closely. "You grip it almost like you would a physical sword, but… May I?" He asked. Kuwabara shrugged, not really sure what he was asking permission to do, but held up the sword so he could get a better look. "Is this pure energy, then? This reiki that Botan-san mentioned?"

"Yep! This is my Spirit Sword. Urameshi has the Spirit Gun—he fires a blast of reiki from his fingertip."

"Melee and ranged attacks," Shuuichi said, almost to himself, as he turned Kuwabara's arm this way and that to study the blade. "So reiki is highly adaptable. Do you believe you could fire blasts in the same way?"

"Don't know, I've never tried. This feels better, anyway."

Shuuichi hummed again, and let go of his arm. "I wonder if the form of a spirit weapon reflects upon the user," he said, tapping his lips with one thumb. "I suppose that theory will have to wait until I meet this Urameshi Yusuke, or until I have learned to make a weapon of my own." He tilted his head, studying Kuwabara. "Assuming I'm right, and that this method of reiki is possible to train and learn?"

"Well, I'm pretty sure I'm stronger than I was, which means that I've gotten more energy, right? So maybe you can, too."

Shuuichi smiled at him. "You are a very optimistic person."

"What's wrong with that?" Kuwabara demanded and raised a fist into the air. "If you think you're going to lose, then you will lose! If you think you're going to win, then any loss is just temporary!" He stopped, rounding on his student. "Stop laughing at me!"

"No, no!" Shuuichi waved his hands, though he was still laughing—and not the dry, polite laugh he'd used once or twice when he was talking with Botan, but something a little bit more honest. "I'm sorry if I offended! I only meant that you are very cheerful. It's not a bad thing."

Kuwabara sighed, and plopped onto the ground again. "Well, fine then."

Shuuichi sat as well, propping his chin on one hand. "So, how does one increase their reiki?" he asked, deftly steering them back on track.

"It's boring, but… I asked Genkai when she was fixing up my broken arms—long story, I'll tell you later," he added before Shuuichi could ask. "Anyway, she said the best thing to do is meditation and visualization." Kuwabara crossed his legs and straightened his back, holding both hands in front of him, palms facing his stomach. "When you breathe in, your ki goes up, and when you breathe out, it goes down," he explained, raising his hands from his stomach to his chest, then down again to demonstrate. "So meditation's mostly to just start paying attention to it. Once you know it's there, you can start moving it around. I push my ki to my hand and focus it outside my body to create my sword." Kuwabara opened his eyes, having closed them at some point during the explanation, to see Shuuichi watching him intently, like a fox stalking a bird. "Um. Why're you staring at me like that?"

He blinked, brows tugging down into a slight frown, though his lips never moved. "I'm not staring. I'm listening. And thinking," he allowed, settling back, his fingers drumming against his leg. "Meditation and visualization… It's certainly worth a try. Will you sit with me for a few minutes? Your sixth sense might be able to tell if I'm shifting my reiki in any significant way."

"Sure thing!" Kuwabara agreed, grinning. The whole giving-lessons thing would get him out of his chores for a while, at least. Shuuichi was a pretty cool guy and actually listened to him, even if he was kind of scary with the way his eyes went all flat when he was thinking too much… Maybe later, after Urameshi woke up and Shuuichi trained up a bit, he could help them out? It would be kind of nice to have another human on the team. And his student joining up would definitely show that evil pipsqueak that he could so contribute…


Two in the morning was a little early to close up shop, but Kuronue had had a stressful last few days and was tired, and when you owned the place you could kick anyone out who you damn well pleased without having to justify yourself. He debated the merits of a cup of coffee before bed with himself; caffeine right before trying to sleep was never a good idea, but he'd never been known for making good choices. And tea was just… No. He refused. Tea and Kuronue were two things that did not mix except under fox-shaped duress when he was sick.

That was when the toddler appeared floating mid-air in front of him. Koenma promptly got a cup of coffee thrown in his face before Kuronue realized he'd just scalded his boss and that maybe, instead of cursing, he should make himself apologize before he ended up in a Reikai prison cell.

What actually came out was "What the hell do you want now?"

Koenma narrowed his eyes at the disrespect, but as his shirt was dripping coffee and his skin was pink and blotchy because of the heat, so it really wasn't as impressive as the godling hoped. Kuronue grabbed a hand towel and soaked it in water, offering it as an apology. "Thank you," the princeling said archly. "I've a favor to ask you."

Kuronue groaned. "No."

"I wouldn't be so quick to turn me down, Kuroji," Koenma said, floating toward his desk chair and sitting in it.

"Still no. Get your actual detective to do it, not the youkai you press ganged into this job."

"This arrangement was your idea, I might remind you," Koenma said, rubbing at the "Jr." emblazoned on his forehead again. "As for Yusuke, he cannot do this. He lacks the necessary skill."

Kuronue snorted. "Flattery doesn't suit you."

"It's not flattery, it's fact. Or did I not add a master thief with prodigious stealth and subtlety to this team?" Kuronue winced. Betrayed by his own words. "I have an incentive."

"Incentive... Is that what they're calling a bribe these days?" He grumbled, but finally sat down on his bed. "What's this oh-so-subtle mission, then?"

There was silence but for the pacifier-sucking for a few seconds. "I've found a problem with the filing system."

"I am many, many things, Koenma, but I am not a damn librarian," Kuronue snapped, rubbing at his temples in an attempt to battle the growing headache. Gods, sleep deprivation made intrigue so much harder… Unless Koenma knew he was being deceived and showed up at two-a-fucking-m on purpose for that exact reason. Whoo boy.

Koenma crossed his arms, staring impassively at Kuronue. "Koumori Kuroji, I am making a very conscious choice to trust you, and I hope that you will not prove that trust misplaced," he said quietly, in the serious sort of tone Kuronue would have expected from someone much older. He winced—sometimes it was way too easy to forget that Koenma was, in fact, a god, however tiny he was. "Are you listening?"

"Yes."

"Reikai keeps exhaustive records on every single life within our jurisdiction. Every action, every decision, is written down in the individual's record from the day they are born until the day they die. It would be impossible to comprehend this record under normal circumstances, so we also have files that act as an index of sorts: a highlights reel skimmed off the top, with the most pivotal moments of the person's life."

Kuronue nodded slowly, and didn't bother trying to imagine the overwhelming amount of paper it would take. "Magic, I suppose?"

"A very complex, ancient, and effective spell," Koenma agreed. "Honestly, it's astounding there aren't more mix-ups like Yusuke. Luckily the tendency seems to be for people to die late rather than early, and the system allows that far more easily."

"Okay, so what does any of this have to do with me?"

Koenma took a deep breath through his nose, letting it out slowly. "You remember what I told you about the Youko Kurama?"

Kuronue forced himself not to tense, even though every ounce of him wanted to hit something. If Koenma told him Kurama wasn't actually alive… "You told me that you'd checked the records of processed souls, and he wasn't listed. You said he's still alive."

"His soul was never processed, so yes, he is still alive in some way," Koenma agreed, raising his hands in a placating, calm down gesture. "However, his record was closed. Reikai declared him dead. It was our mistake. I'll freely admit it. I've… quietly reopened the file."

Kuronue nodded, biting at the end of his thumb. "Okay. So it, what, started recording again?"

"It should have. It didn't."

"Say what?"

Koenma frowned, clearly aggravated. "It didn't start recording again. I know it should have; there is precedent for it. But… nothing. It remains unchanged, and no, before you ask, I didn't mess up reopening it."

"What do you want me to do about it?"

"Right now, there's nothing you can do about it," Koenma said with a sigh. "I just thought you should be warned. If the Youko Kurama has figured out a way around Reikai intelligence, he's far more dangerous than we expected… or in far more trouble."

Something in Kuronue's chest went very cold. It might have been his heart. "Got it. Thanks," he said, forcing the words past the tight knot of panic in his chest. Hells, Kurama. Please, please, please be okay. All the gods in heaven, please be okay. If I found out you were alive too late, I'd...

"Here," Koenma said, flicking his fingers in a pattern that blurred the air around his hand. An unremarkable-looking manila folder appeared, and another gesture sent it soaring towards Kuronue. "The incentive I mentioned," he finished, brown eyes inscrutable. "It's a copy of the file, mind, not the full record, but it should still give you an edge, when you finally find him."

Kuronue looked down at the folder to see Youko Kurama written neatly along the tab. He wet his lips and nodded. "You said there was a favor, too?" he said when he thought his voice might not crack.

"You remember Minamino Shuuichi?"

Kuronue's mouth twisted up into a wry half-smile. "Yeah, I figured he'd be making you a bit nervous. Questions tend to."

"It's… a bit more than that," Koenma said as though the admission pained him. "I want you to keep an eye on him. Unobtrusively. Unofficially."

"Okay, I know pointed questions make you lot nervous, but he's still just some teenaged human," Kuronue pointed out. "Completely normal. Zilch reiki." And hadn't that driven him crazy that afternoon. Kuronue almost pitied Kuwabara. After a solid hour of absolutely no progress, Shuuichi had looked about ready to break something. He clearly wasn't used to not picking whatever skill up quickly, though he'd at least had the maturity to walk away before he truly lost his temper. "Not the sort of person you set a youkai on for surveillance purposes. So, what aren't you telling me?"

Koenma sighed, and folded his fingers together. "The spiritual difference between miscarriages and stillborns is small, but significant," he said instead of answering. "At conception, a small amount of reiki is given to the fetus to keep it alive until a soul can be assigned from Reikai. If a soul doesn't 'take,' doesn't stick to the unborn child for whatever reason, then the babe is stillborn. If a soul is never sent in the first place, then the mother miscarries."

"Interesting, but…?"

"According to our records, Minamino Shiori miscarried fifteen years ago. She conceived, but Reikai never assigned the child a soul." The godling tilted his head so that he was looking directly into Kuronue's eyes. "Whatever Minamino Shuuichi is—whoever he is—he is not just some teenaged human. He has absolutely no record. None. I need you to keep an eye on him because as far as Reikai is concerned, Minamino Shuuichi doesn't exist."


Glossary

youkai: often translated as "demon," sometimes translated as "monster" or "apparition." An intelligent, amoral, and inhuman species of beings that inhabit a dimension parallel to our own. Most of the villains Yusuke fights in the show are youkai.

-san: an honorific added to the name of somone whom you do not know very well, or a respectful honorific added to the name of someone who is of a higher social status than yours. A rough English equivalent is "Mr." or "Ms."

-sensei: a respectful honorific added to the names of teachers, doctors, professors, etc. Those who are learned or passing knowledge on to another.

-kun: an honorific added to the name of a boy you are on familiar terms with. Closer than 'san,' but not as close as not using an honorific at all.

shinigami: literally "death god." Used to describe Botan and her colleagues, the girls who guide souls from this world to their judgement in the next.

koumori: literally "bat." Here used to specifically describe bat youkai, i.e. Kuronue/Kuroji.

reiki: "spirit energy," the energy used by humans for both attacking and healing. Yusuke, Kuwabara, Botan, and Genkai all use spirit energy; the former as weapons, the latter to heal. (Though of course Genkai is an extremely capable fighter as well.)

Reikai: Spirit World, Spirit Realm, Spirit Plane. The dimension where Koenma live and work, involved in the processing and judgement of the souls of the dead.

youko: spirit fox


A note on this chapter:

So I thought that finishing/fine-tuning this chapter would take a lot longer than it did, so I psyched myself out about not getting it up on Monday like I have been... Not as long as I hoped it would be, but still double what it originally was.

Not a lot to say about this chapter, aside from how pleased I am with the whole 'how Reikai operates" thing, which I hope isn't as info-dump-y as it feels, or was at least somewhat interesting to read.

Also poor Kuwabara. Dealing with extremely motivated, extremely frustrated, and perfectionist Shuuichi. Wish him luck, he'll need it. I actually really like how I've written Kuwabara. I wasn't very fond of him in high school, but that was a horrible, horrible mistake. He's not exactly my favorite character, but he's wonderful. He just tries so hard and is just... Oh, darling. He's such a sweetheart. And kind of a horrible punk. Like he's so bad at being the bad guy, it's hilarious. Also, side note, but I love how Kuwabara and Hiei are the two "swordsmen" in the group, and how they're actually pretty similar if you really pause and think about it (admittedly I'm thinking mostly about their own honor codes)... and they hate each other. Of course.

Side note, but I do not remember Kuwabara/Kurama being a very popular pairing (in fact, I don't think it was a pairing at all) six years ago, but now I've found like, at least half a dozen really really good fics of them? It's very strange and weirdly cute? Like, obvs. Hiei/Kurama is still the biggest pairing (and I still don't ship it and I still don't understand why I don't ship it?), but...?

I don't know. I really don't.

Erm. This wasn't supposed to get that ramble-y... Whoops. Sorry, everyone.


Anonymous Review Replies!

Fox: "See the shiny. Take the shiny." was one of my friend's favorite lines, too, so I'm glad it made you smile! Reiki vs. Youki will be explored a bit the chapter after the next, so please be patient. As for Kuronue and Shuuichi... well. Spoilers.

Llonella: (chapters 3 and 6): Yeah, chapter three was meant to set up a few plot threads that will weave through later chapters. I'm fond of chapter six, because Kuro is fantastic and I adore how Shuuichi bounces off everyone. It's so much fun to write dialogue between him and Kuronue, so there will be lots of back-and-forth between them in later chapters.

Guest: (chapters 4 and 5): I suspect you're Llonella without having remembered to put a name in, but on the off chance you're not, sorry, and I'm answering it in a separate bit. I figure the pacifier is there, and super-charged with reiki or not, he's bound to have some sort of nervous habit with it. For chapter five... I've said it before and I'll say it again, but I really love writing Shuuichi. I like that you describe him as a 'hero,' because I think he'd be a little skeptical about that. I told someone recently that Shuuichi is only moral as long as it suits him to be, which I think is very true. Though yes, he is very much a momma's boy and there is really nothing he can do about that.

Nameless: I have to admit I find it amusing that I update only a few hours after you leave a review saying how impatient you are for the next chapter... unfortunately, you'll now have to wait another week for the next update, so I'll have to ask for your patience and pardon. I hope you continue to love my story, and thank you so much for your review!

Thanks again to Unita for reviewing this last chapter.

Also, y'all are going to make me cry. Seven reviews in the last week, seven, and six of them yesterday/today. Like, seriously? I love you all SO MUCH, and I swear it was that motivation that made me get this chapter out so much more quickly than expected.

Again, though, next week's chapter requires even heavier edits than this one, so please be patient with me if it actually is late.