Life Ain't Always Beautiful
Sometimes it's just plain hard
Life can knock you down, it can break your heart
(Present)
They'd set up shop in the waiting room of GW. The secret service had closed the whole side off anyhow and it was easier to be supportive of Donna, and honestly -supported by Josh, from the halway of GW.
"Annabeth!"
"Annabeth."
"Will Josh Lyman be returning to the White House?"
"Josh Lyman is the White House Chief of Staff. He works here." The tiny blond spat from the podium.
"Nice one." CJ muttered leaning against the vending machine Toby was shaking. "You know like hundreds of people a year are crushed to death while shaking vending machines right?"
Toby shot her a dirty look.
"Is the Secret Service concerned that Josh is a risk for the president?"
"We've always been concerned Josh was a risk." CJ muttered.
"Josh Lyman is a risky guy." Annabeth quipped, CJ let out an amused snort.
"Annabeth! Are there concerns that the apparent war on Josh Lyman makes being around him a security risk for President Santos? That he could be shot by mistake."
"Need I remind you that Josh was the one shot by mistake in the first place? This administration would not turn it's back on one of its' own. This administration is a packaged deal. You pick a fight with one of us.." The blond narrowed her eyes at the reporter before they widened slowly in realization of her statement.
"Shit." CJ muttered.
"Damn it." Toby kicked the machine.
Sam looked up from his lap top.
"What just happened?" He looked from CJ to Toby.
"Annabeth just declared war on the West Virgina White Pride in the name of Matt Santos." Toby yelled.
"She did?" He raised his eyebrows. "Are you sure? Because I missed where she said that."
"Shit." CJ flinched as Toby kicked the machine again.
"She did not say that." He defended.
"Are you saying that the Santos Administration is at War with the West Virgina White Pride?"
"I didn't say that." Annabeth muttered nervously.
"See, she didn't say that." Seaborn said hopefully.
"Shit." CJ knocked her head into the vending machine.
"Annabeth!"
"Annabeth!"
"Annabeth!"
Life aint always beautiful
You think you're on your way
And it's just a dead end road at the end of the day
"Mrs. Lyman, these things are to be expected."
"It frustrates him. He knows what he wants to say but he can't figure out how to say it." She rubbed her own face in frustration.
"Again, this is normal." Dr. Thomas assured her.
"Really? What about getting shot twice by white supremacists is normal Doctor?"
"Mrs. Lyman."
"For Christ sake, call me Donna!" She tossed her hands in the air.
"Stop." Josh called slowly from the bed, his New England accent topping out over his impaired speech. "Cant'.. both.. be... be...be.."
"Frustrated?" Donna spit out shaking her head back and forth.
"Ob-nox-ious." He said slowly. She shot him a shocked look of disdain before smiling.
"Sure. You can come up with that, but when the show you the picture of a spatula your mind goes blank."
He shook his head before the television caught his attention again. He looked worried.
"What's happening?" She asked, as he scrunched up his eyebrows.
"War?" He muttered. Donna looked up at the screen. Annabeth was being ambushed.
"DONNA!"CJ came around the corner quickly.
"What happened?" Donna was still starring at the television.
"SPIN!" Josh ordered pointing his finger at CJ. "Spin Spin Spin."
"Great Josh we get it, you Wordmaster." Donna sputtered. "What happened?"
"She misspoke." CJ shook her head.
"She doesn't do that." Donna whispered.
"She did." CJ blinked at her.
"She doesn't." Donna insisted.
"Donna, she misspoke. It happens."
"She doe-."
"WORDMASTER!" Josh clapped his hand against the bed tray, shooting his wife an annoyed gaze before looking back at CJ. "SSSPPPIIIINNNN!" He pointed at the door.
"I'm going! I'm going!" She hollered.
"DANNY!" Josh yelled, craning his head enough to see CJ pull out her phone and start dialing. He turned to his wife still shaking his head. "Wordmaster." He gestured to himself.
"Spatula." She said smartly cocking her pretty blond head. He shot her a dirty look.
But the struggles make you stronger
And the changes make you wise
And happiness has its own way of takin it's sweet time
(Seven years ago)
"Make sure you sell it." Josh whined looking down at the notes again.
"I'll sell it." Annabeth insisted.
"I mean really. It's important on so many levels." He huffed out a breath.
"I'll sell it Josh." She rolled her eyes and started out the door.
"Annabeth?" He stood in the doorway of the office.
"Joshua I said I'd.." She turned around dramatically.
"No.. I just wanted you to know that.. I um.. I remembered." He sputtered. She glanced back at where he stood with Sam. "Donna, Sam and I were going to go over there at lunch if you.."
She smiled sweetly before shaking her head slowly.
"I have other plans." She called, making her way out the door.
No, life aint always beautiful
Tears will fall sometimes
"On a personal note. I wanted to take a moment of silence in remembrance for the life of Leo McGarry on his 70th birthday." Donna stopped, turning her attention back towards the briefing before reaching out for Josh's hand. He watched the screen in silence with her while Annabeth stood with closed eyes, tears slipping down her round cheeks.
"He was a good man, a dear friend. He is remembered by all of us, and honored by the happiness of his two daughters and his grandson. Thank you." She closed the briefing book and walked purposefully off he podium.
"Josh?" Donna whispered tentatively turning to face her husband.
"She must have misspoke." He shook his head slowly. "I-."
"She doesn't do that."
"Donna, Mallory's an only child. I've known her all her life." He pulled his wife along the edge of the mess looking for Sam.
"Hey." Seaborn called out. "She misspoke."
"She doesn't do that." Donna insisted.
"So what? Mallory has a sister out there none of us knows about?" Sam raised an eyebrow at Josh who shook his head.
"No. Mal is an-." Josh stopped short, fixing his eyes on the doorway.
"Oh my God, Josh." Donna whispered in realization, watching Annabeth greet Margaret in the doorway, pulling three year old Leah from her arms and kissing her round face. "Oh my God."
"She doesn't misspeak?" Seaborn pushed out under his breath as Mallory came in behind the other women, and grabbed up the little girl. The resemblance between them was suddenly overwhelming.
"Never." Donna breathed back.
Life aint always beautiful
But it's a beautiful ride
(Present)
"Oh my freaking God!" Annabeth screamed tossing briefing notebook onto her desk. "Someone get in here and shoot me!" Her phone started ringing. She looked down in shock before picking it up. "Josh?"
"Fine." He said softly.
"It's not." She whispered. "I.. I..."
"Misspoke." He said softly.
"I don't do that."
"'S fine.."
"Josh.."
"Spin Spin Spin..."
"Into what?"
"Donna?" She heard him whisper as the phone drifted further from his voice.
"It's going to be fine. CJ's already on it. It'll be old news by the time the pundits hit the circuit." Donna pressed her lips together. "If anything it's a war on hate crimes. No wait! A war against violent acts of intolerance."
"Donna tell him I'm sorry."
"He says it's okay."
"Yeah?"
"Really."
"Are you sure he says it's okay?"
"Yeah. Just don't ask him to say spatula."
Life aint always beautiful Some days I miss your smile
I get tired of walkin all these lonely miles
(Seven years ago)
"You didn't see how telling me may have been beneficial to my situation at the time?" Donna huffed dropping down beside Margaret on her couch.
"Would it have changed things?"
"Probably." She shook her head.
"Would you go back and change anything now?" Margaret made a face.
"No." Donna admitted. "So it'd been going on.."
"On and off for years."
"ON AND OFF?" She shrieked.
"Yes."
"How did you two work together? How did you-?" Donna shook her head, thinking of the woman Leo had dated, and how the very thought of Amy Gardner made her insane. She couldn't have imagined.
"How did you and Josh?" Margaret shrugged.
"We weren't having sex then not having sex!"
"No you were wanting to risk it and not wanting to risk it." Margaret shook her little red head. "It's the same thing."
"No it's not." Donna corrected. "It's definitely not."
"Sure." Margaret looked down at her hands. "He didn't.. love me... the way Josh loved you Donna."
"That's ridiculous. You and Leo.." She shook her head.
"I don't think I even realized it until he met Annabeth."
"Oh God." Donna hung her head for a second.
"He loved Annabeth like that."
"Margaret.. People don't just keep you around out of habit.."
"No.. no they don't." She got that far off look on her face before returning to her usual rapid line of speech. "He loved me, Donna. I know that, but he never loved me. He needed me. He counted on me and I loved him more than anything." She cocked her head to the side. "He loved me the way everyone thought Josh loved you."
"What?"
"Everyone thought Josh was.. you know.. using you and that you were letting him. But it was the real deal. Meanwhile the Chief of Staff was shnaucking his assistant down the hall and know one would have guessed. That's how you can tell if it's real I guess. If you can hide it.. it's not real."
Donna stood stunned for a second before turning her head towards the photo of her Josh and their baby and nodding slowly.
"He would have loved her." Margaret said slowly. Donna turned her head back. "I never told him. Lied when he asked me.."
"Margaret.." Donna gasped.
"Annabeth said he always kind of knew."
"Oh Margaret." Her friend moaned slowly.
"I mentioned to Annabeth that Leah's been asking and she shrugged her shoulders and muttered something about being people first. Next thing you know.."
"I had no idea." Donna said softly.
"No one did." She smiled sadly. "It wasn't real."
And I wish for just one minute
I could see your pretty face
Guess I can dream, but life don't work that way
Leah Beth McGarry stood, in tutu posed perfection, in a frame on Zoey Bartlett Young's livingroom shelf.. The former president had often seen how McGarry's eyes would drift across the room to it from his corner side vigil.
"If I finally drop dead do you get to haunt your kids?" Jed asked slowly watching Leo roll his eyes in exasperation.
"Hum?" Charlie Young looked curiously at his father in law before huffing back at the instructions.
"Nothing." He watched the boy for a second before grinning. "Charlie. The first rule of fatherhood is never read the instructions." Charlie blinked up at him as he reached down from his chair and gripped one of the side rails of the unassembled crib. "This looks like it hooks on to that."
The father-to-be lifted an eyebrow curiously at him, before pulling the other piece from the pile.
But the struggles make me stronger
And the changes make me wise
And happiness has its own way of takin it's sweet time
"Spatula." Lyman muttered to himself turning over the card and situating himself in front of it again before flipping it over. "Spatula."
He thumbed the photo with his finger triumphantly.
With her head still buried in her file, Donna reached into the stack and pulled out another item.
"Wordmaster." Josh muttered like a mantra. "Wordmaster.." He squinted his eyes at the photo. "Boot." Donna looked up at him in surprise, bending the card back to her own face to reveal a black combat boot. "Wordmaster."
She smirked at him.
"760." He raised an eyebrow. She started to talk but he held up his hand expectantly. "Spatula."
Donna Lyman grinned at him for a second before he smugly went back to MSNBC and she started back into the file.
No, life aint always beautiful
But i know I'll be fine
"Honestly Jed I don't know why you'd even think about selling the farm."
"You don't want to live there." He said slowly. "It's stupid to keep it."
"Why would you think I don't want to live-."
"Abigail. You're happier here. Charlie and Zoey are here. The rest of the kids.." He shook his head. "When Liz runs for office.."
"Jed. You love that farm." She shook her head. Bartlett looked at Leo.
"Sam's probably chomping at the bit to make you Sergent General." He continued.
"You don't want to be in Washington anymore Jed You made that clear."
"I'm not going to be here for ever Abbey." He told her softly touching her shoulder.
"Jed."
"He's been waiting a long time Abbey." Looking back at his friend.
"God can wait a little longer." She muttered. He didn't correct her assumption.
"I'm just saying it's time to start thinking about things." He watched her turn her face away. "I won't always be here."
Hey, life aint always beautiful
(Seven years ago)
"Hey." Josh wandered out of their bedroom and into the living room holding Noah when she walked through the door. "Did you talk to her?" She watched him settle Noah in the bassinet by the couch. It could have been her. It could have been her. If they'd have been right? It would have been. "Hey? Helllllooo?"
She tossed her arms around him pulling him tightly against her.
"I love you." She breathed into his shoulder.
"I love you. What's going on?" He sunk onto the couch and pulling her onto his lap.
"Nothing." She muttered pushing her face into his neck.
"It's true?" He laid his cheek against her head.
"Yeah." She sniffed.
"How could he just-?" Donna could feel the protectiveness radiate from him, she tried to inhale it.
"He didn't know. She lied." Donna pulled back and looked at him. "She lied to him."
"Donnatella?"
"Josh?"
"Swear to me you wouldn't have done that." He pleaded looking past her towards where his son slept, remembering back a year before, when they'd stood in Will's apartment and faced their future head on.
"You would have known." She started to cry. "You know when it's real."
"Donna?" He pulled her face back. "Please don't cry."
"I could have been your past. I could have watched you fall in love with someone else! I could have watched you leave me.I believed them when they told me it wasn't-. It could have been me."
"Never." He said softly. "Not ever."
But it's a beautiful ride
What a beautiful ride
