I'll Follow You Into The Dark
Chapter 7
Kensi sat at Deeks' bedside fighting off the urge to close her eyes for just a second to give into sleep that was just out of reach but Kensi tried to fight it off. To her it seemed like she never let sleep over but it must have won because before she knew it she was being woken up.
'Ms. Blye I think its best that you leave for a while, maybe go home and get some sleep." Hetty said concerned about Kensi when she saw her draped over Deeks holding his hand till her knuckles were white.
"With all due respect Hetty but I'm not leaving him. My partner needs me right now, and I wanna be here when he wakes up." Kensi said rubbing her eyes and stretching her arms over her head briefly releasing Deeks' hand only to take hold of it once again.
'Kensi I think that Mr. Deeks would much rather you to take care of yourself at home than for you to stay here where you can't do anything for him." Hetty said hoping and praying that Kensi took her advice at took care of herself, she knew that if Deeks was awake he'd be the first to tell her to go home and he was the only person Kensi would listen to.
"I can look out for him here...listen Hetty Deeks is my partner and..." Kensi trailed off not knowing how to explain what was going on her in head but right now it made sense to her to stay here next to Deeks where she could see that he was alive and breathing.
"And you want to make sure that he's safe because you didn't have his back when all this happened to him and Sam." Hetty said knowing what Kensi was feeling right now because she was feeling like that too, after all these were her agent they were like her children.
"You get it?" Kensi questioned surprised that Hetty somewhat understood what she was thinking when no one else from the team could, not Callen even though his partner had gone through this too, or Michelle who had a husband who would be okay.
"I get that you feel like this is all your fault but I will tell you over and over again and so will everyone else, that you could not have stopped this Ms. Blye. Right now your partner is not waking up, so how about I stay with him while you go home and get some rest. I'm begging you here Kensi and you know me I'm not one to beg' Hetty said in a somewhat forceful voice trying to show Kensi that she met business.
"Okay but call me if anything changes...and Hetty take good care of him." Kensi said brushing the hair out of Deeks' face before she got up and exited the hospital room and got to her car. Before turning the key to start the car Kensi took a deep breath as if she was trying to blow away the thought of Deeks dying or him waking up without her.
Instead of driving to her apartment like Hetty assumed she would go Kensi, she drove to Deeks' place. She pulled out the key he gave her a while back and stepped in. It was weird to be there when he wasn't, the apartment wasn't the same. It was dark and lacking that spark Deeks naturally gave off, he was always a bucket full of sunshine.
'Monty? Monty it's me, Aunty Kensi's here Monty." Kensi called hearing the dog rushed down the stairs to greet her.
"Hey Monty, I know you were expecting Daddy but don't worry he'll be back real soon. For now how about you and me hang around here?" Kensi said looking into the dogs sad eyes, she realized that they had that same pained looked knowing Deeks wasn't there. She looked at Monty with the same pitiful look he gave her as they made their way deeper into the apartment.
Walking up to where she knew the bedroom was Kensi was hit with a wave of scent that was pure Deeks. A mix of the ocean, his shampoo and something that she couldn't quite put her finger on, but it was a security blanket for her. He was her security blanket and right now it was being ripped away from her. She knew that this was the only place that would help with the way she was feeling while Deeks. was in the hospital
Quickly she opened up a drawer containing his tee shirts, she pulled out an old LAPD one. Ache had always loved them but didn't dare tell Deeks that in fear he would use it against her Throwing off her top and slipping it on instead wrapping her arms around herself trying to get the feeling that it was Deeks holding her. Slowly she took in the scent and the warmth that came whenever he touched her.
Suddenly a wave of tiredness hit her, Kensi made her way to the bed. Yes she thought that this way a little weird now that Deeks wasn't here but she knew Monty wouldn't tell a soul. So fighting to keep her eyelids from closing Kensi climbed in (On the right side). Monty climbed in right side her taking up the other half of the bed alongside her. It only took a few seconds for sleep to take over her body but when sleep came so did the nightmares.
NCIS LA
"Looks like you're giving your partner quite a scare here Mr. Deeks." Hetty said to a still unconscious Deeks lying in the bed beside her, she was half expecting him to wake up to say something clever back.
"You know Kensi wasn't always like this, she didn't let people in or so how she was feeling. You tore down her walls, brick by brick but they came down. If you leave her those walls will come back twice as high and no one will be able to take them apart the way you did. She needs you just as much as you need her. So please just wake up.' Hetty said to Deeks trying to picture Kensi with a different partner if worse came to worse. It was hard enough for Kensi when she lost Dom but to lose Deeks would destroy her.
'Honestly Mr. Deeks, could you imagine your partner with someone else. It'd be like when you and she were first paired together do you remember that?" Hetty said reliving the memories she had of Kensi and Deeks when they first started working together. Those two were two peas in a pod, if anything happened to either of them she knew that the other would never recover.
NCIS LA
After a few hours Kensi woke up covered in sweat, searching around the unfamiliar room she panicked not knowing where she was or what was going on. While she was sleep Kensi had a terrible nightmare about Deeks. Every time he was just out of her reach waiting to be rescued when she would be thrown back unable to save him from the torture that he was being put through. His screams filled her head getting louder and louder each time she was thrown away.
'It's okay Monty." Kensi said once she realized that Monty was whimpering beside her trying to make sure that she was okay. Not knowing what else to do Kensi patted the dog behind the ears until she was relaxed and sleep took over again. Kensi didn't get much sleep so at six the next morning she was getting ready to go to the hospital once again. Quickly she hoped in the shower, gave Monty some food, changed into some clothes she kept in her car and sped off to be with her partner
NCIS LA
After getting there Kensi dashed into Deeks' room once she got there she found Callen sitting there next to him. Callen was falling asleep and looked very uncomfortable, it wasn't until Kensi cleared her throat that he was snapped awake trying to pass off that he wasn't sleeping in the first place.
'Hetty went home a while ago but I've been here." He told her seeing the shocked look on Kensi's face. He quickly filled her on what the doctor had told him throughout the night
'Oh has anything changed?" Kensi asked looking at Deeks in the bed. He still seemed damaged to her but maybe just maybe he would lighten the mood when he woke up. Without taking her eyes off her partner Kensi heard Callen start to speak.
"He fluttered his eyes a while ago but he hasn't opened them or woken up." Callen said noticing Kensi pacing back and forth in the room. He knew Kensi and she was nervous, knowing that she wanted to be alone with Deeks Callen left the room.
"Hey partner, sorry I had to leave for a bit but I'm back now. I heard that you almost woke up, that's great Deeks...don't tell anyone but I'm kind of glad you didn't wake up when I wasn't here." Kensi said taking hold of Deeks' hand like she had so many times in the past few days. Really she had touched him more than any time before. For the next few hours Kensi rambled to Deeks about anything and everything that crossed her mind.
'Deeks...Deeks is that you?" Kensi questioned when she started to feel Deeks squeeze her hand. At first she thought it was all in her head but slowly the squeezes became stronger and more frequent.
"Don't worry Deeks I'm right here I'm not going anywhere. You can do this; I promise I'll be here." Kensi said with tears in her eyes at the possibility that her partner might be waking up. Kensi could have sworn that she saw Deeks try to open his eyes at the sound f her voice.
'Oh God, okay Deeks I want you to try again, I know that it's hard but you can do this Deeks. Come on Deeks you know how much I love you baby blues." Kensi said trying to will Deeks awake with a bit of humour. After a few tried Deeks stopped, she knew that he must be exhausted.
"That was good Deeks, you did so good. I just need you to give me a sign that you're still you, that my partner is still in there." Kensi said now realizing that she had tears on her cheeks. Wiping them quickly Kensi positioned herself that if Deeks did open his eyes that she would be the first thing that he saw.
"One last try Deeks, do this for me and try just one more time." Kensi said praying that he would do this, not only for the relief that it would bring her but to know that he would be okay. After hearing Kensi voice Deeks fluttered his eyelids once again but with more power than he had before.
"Hey there, you gave me quite a scare...you gave all of us a scare there Deeks." Kensi said with tearing coming freely out of her eyes when she saw two pools of blue looking back at her. He had opened him eyes and it that moment it was enough, he was alive. Kensi knew that now the healing started, it was the hard part. But she vowed not to leave Deeks, not when he needed her the most.
"Kensi..." Deeks said out of breath, he was confused, and terrified, and didn't know what was happening or where he was. But he saw Kensi and knew that whatever was going on he was okay, she was okay and they would figure this out. One step at a time, together till the end of it he knew that it would work out.
'I'm here Deeks, I'm not going anywhere." Kensi said almost laughing now that he was awake and that's all she needed.
