Dave kept rubbing his hands over his jeans, staring out of the car window to distract himself. Kurt had offered to drive when he noticed how nervous Dave had been all morning. Dave had to admit that he had been grateful for the offer, because all he could focus on right now was how scared he was that his parents would completely flip out on him. He liked to think that they were both sensible people who could accept him, but he'd hidden this from them for so long, he wasn't sure that they would be able to.
"You'll be fine," Kurt said gently, reaching over to rub his hand gently over Dave's leg.
The touch sent shots of electricity up and down Dave's leg and he placed his hand over Kurt's, enjoying the warmth and comfort that hand afforded him.
"Sorry," he grunted, feeling a little sheepish, "This is a really big deal for me."
"I know," Kurt replied, "But I'm here with you. You don't have to do this alone and no matter what they say, I'm going to be standing next to you."
Dave looked at Kurt, gratitude written on his face.
"I really don't deserve you," he said to the smaller young man.
Kurt smirked, as if he wanted to respond to that in a smart-alecky way, but instead he said nothing, which really piqued Dave's interest.
"What were you going to say," he asked.
Kurt shook his head, "Something that was only a valid in the past."
Dave gave him a confused his but didn't say anything to push him. What he did think was that Kurt no longer found viewing him the way he had for so long to be productive.
They pulled up slowly to the tall brick house in a nice suburban neighborhood and Dave stared up his house, attempting to swallow down the hard knot in his throat.
"The sooner we get in here and do this, the better," he reasoned aloud, popping the car door open and stepping out.
His feet immediately rooted in place, and he could feel himself start to shake. Nausea rushed up on him and he swayed on his feet.
Arms wrapped out him as his knees gave out and Dave looked over, dazed, at Kurt, who was giving him a reassuring look.
"I'm here with you," he whispered, "You don't have to be afraid."
Dave tilted his head down and caught Kurt's lips in a quick kiss and then sighed, taking the younger one's hand and squaring his shoulders.
"Ma," he called loudly into the house.
"David," a woman's voice answered, and Dave's father poked his head out from the living room.
The older man's eyes fell immediately on Kurt and then flicked to Dave.
"This is a surprise," the gruff, but professional man said slowly, "Is something wrong?"
"No, Dad," Dave managed to croak out, "There's just something I wanted to talk to you about with Ma."
The sable haired man nodded his head back towards the room he was in and called behind him.
"Sandra, your son has something he needs to tell us," Paul said, turning back into the living room, Dave and Kurt slow on his heels.
The two younger ones sat across from Paul, and the man stared at them both. Dave felt his shoulders start to crunch up around his ears, then felt a hand press against his knee.
"What is it, honey," Sandra came into the room, wiping her hands on her apron, and stopped short, "What's going on here?"
"Sit down, Ma," Dave said gently, "Please."
The small woman eyed them both as she moved to sit next to her husband, but Dave saw the way her eyes lingered on Kurt and his hand on her son's knee.
He took a deep breath and faced both of them, his expression determined.
"There's something I have to tell you," he whispered, "Something that I've been wanting to tell you for years."
His mother's lips pursed deeply and his father's jaw visibly tightened.
That couldn't drive Dave off course. He'd always suspected that his parents wouldn't be happy about this, but if they loved him, they would have to accept him. Undeterred, he continued.
"I'm . . . I'm gay," his voice came out gravelly but sure, "I'm gay."
For a long moment no one spoke. Both of his parents looked like they were struggling a little with the news, but neither one of them were exploding the way he had expected them to.
It was Kurt who finally spoke up.
"You both knew," he said softly, "Didn't you?"
Paul sighed and looked at the smaller boy next to Dave.
"Yes," he admitted, "I've suspected since his expulsion and both Dave's mother and I have been preparing ourselves for the possibility, but we decided not to say anything until Dave came to us himself.
The man looked at Dave and the man struggled to understand what he was hearing. His parents had suspected all this time and had never said anything. They had allowed him to keep his secret for fear of how he would be viewed by them. Dave had to wonder, however, about how he would have reacted if they had confronted him about earlier, when it was something he was still defensive and angry about. He might never have been able to come to terms with it in his own time.
"We're not happy about it," his mother finally said, "We tried to raise you right, in a good Christian home with good morals and values," she sighed and rubbed tired looking eyes, "But we prayed long and hard about it together and, though it's not the easiest thing to hear, we understand that you're going to live your life the way you feel led to live it and that you are still our son, no matter what."
Dave wasn't sure if he should feel relieved or mildly insulted by his mother's backward attempt to guilt trip him for something he couldn't help and tried for years to hide.
"I guess now you're going to tell us that you're dating him," his father gestured to Kurt, who sat up a little straighter.
"Yes, I am," Dave said, proudly, "I've had feelings for him since high school. There was more to what happened between us than you were told and I apologize for attempting to lie and cover it up."
His father grunted and nodded. Sandra was next him with eyes closed and her lips moving in a silent prayer. Dave couldn't help feeling a little bad for her. She was a long-suffering woman but she had the tendency towards being a little overdramatic.
"I'm still me, Ma," Dave insisted gently, "Nothing about me has changed; you just know more about me now."
The womb opened her eyes and nodded, though she appeared to be unconvinced over all. Kurt stood next to Dave, taking the bigger man's hand.
"We've intruded on your afternoon, and maybe we should give you guys time," he said softly, "Dave is staying with me until tomorrow."
Neither one of his parents said anything in argument, and Dave took it as the signal that it was okay for them to leave. He stood as well, told his parents that he loved them and quickly left.
Once in the car, Dave let out a long exhale.
"That could have been worse," Kurt said slowly and Dave nodded in response.
Kurt patted Dave's leg and smiled gently.
"They'll come around," he assured Dave, who nodded again.
Kurt frowned, "What's wrong?"
"I just wish that I had known that they knew, or at least suspected," Dave admitted.
Kurt shrugged, "At least they weren't in denial about it. They didn't pressure you to admit it to them before you were ready and they didn't yell and scream over it. I'd say that you should count this as a victory."
Dave nodded, contemplative. Kurt sighed and turned to him.
"Okay, you're scary when you get all quiet like that," he said softly, "Maybe we should go do something. Something to take your mind off of this for a while."
"Sure, okay," Dave said, but nothing more than that.
He was only vaguely aware of Kurt starting the car and driving away from his home. He knew he should feel happy, even elated that his sexuality was no longer a secret to his family, but he couldn't help wondering how things would have worked out if he had done this sooner. Would he have been happier, would Kurt have accepted him sooner?
When the car stopped, Dave looked up, his brow furrowing when he noticed that they parked in front of an arcade. He looked at Kurt with a questioning expression.
"Just because people think I'm a twink doesn't mean I don't like arcades," Kurt scoffed playfully, punching Dave lightly in the arm and pushing him towards his door, "Get out."
Dave did as he was told, undoing his seatbelt and hopping out of Kurt's car. Kurt came around and grabbed Dave's hand enthusiastically and dragged him into the building.
The two of them played until it started to grow dark outside, and Dave had to admit that it had helped to distract him from that afternoon's events. They returned to Kurt's house hungry and happy and Kurt had excitedly announced to his parents what had occurred that day. The two of them congratulated Dave, which surprised him, because he wasn't so sure it was something for which he should have been congratulated.
After dinner and a long chat in front of the TV with Kurt and his parents, the family finally moved to their respective rooms to retire.
Dave waited as Kurt curled himself around his body, his head once again settling in the crook of the bigger man's shoulder. Dave thoughtfully stroked his thumb over Kurt's cheekbone, staring into his eyes wordlessly for a long time before he finally plucked up the courage to break the moment.
"I want you to come to Chicago," he whispered, bringing his face as close as he could to the younger man's, his breath falling gently against Kurt's skin.
"When you graduate, I want you to come to Chicago for school," he clarified further.
He waited as silence spread over them again. He could feel Kurt's breath warm on his cheek and their foreheads touched.
"I know," Dave continued after the pause stretched too long, "It's not New York and it's not LA," he murmured, "But Chicago has great conservatories for the arts and a large base of work for people who are like you. I just . . . couldn't bear for you to be so far away and . . ."
A finger pressed against his lips and Dave fell silent as the finger was replaced with lips, slow and tenderly kissing away the words Dave had been prepared to speak. Dave let himself forget them momentarily to fold Kurt tightly into his arms and saturate their kiss with his need.
He could feel Kurt's hands moving over his shoulders, and then his chest and then tug gently at the hem of the T-shirt he was wearing, his fingers deftly slipping beneath the fabric and running slowly along the soft patch of hair that evenly covered his stomach. Dave pulled away to catch his breath, his will quickly coming undone beneath Kurt's ministration.
"I don't care what I said to my parents," Kurt whispered hot against Dave's mouth, "You don't have to wait for me. I've been ready for you."
Dave groaned. It was the one thing he'd wanted to hear more than anything and the one thing he didn't need to hear now. It was too soon and too fast and Dave wanted everything to be perfect, in the right time and place.
But hearing Kurt practically telling Dave to take him right then and there took all of the control away from him.
"David, please," Kurt whispered, "It's okay. Look at me."
Dave opened his eyes and looked at Kurt, who stared straight at him, his eyes probing.
"Every night after you left, I would close my eyes at night and see you," the younger boy said softly, "I would close my eyes and imagine you holding me, kissing me . . . touching me."
Dave shuddered and swallowed, unsure if he would be able to listen to this without exploding.
"It felt so wrong to think that way, but I couldn't help myself. Every night I'd . . ."
Even in the darkness, Dave could see Kurt's face go red and hot as he continued.
"I'd touch myself, whisper your name, imagine the things you would do to me with your hands, with your mouth," the younger one scooted closer and pressed his body against Dave's, causing the bigger man's breath to hitch, "I imagined you inside me. Please . . . I want you."
"I want you, too," Dave barely managed to get out, groaning when Kurt gently moved his hips against Dave's, "So bad . . . want to be with you forever, don't want to be far from you."
"Give me time to think about that," Kurt whispered, "Please, just be with me now."
Dave felt tears spring to his eyes. He desperately wanted to be with Kurt, but the way the younger man was talking, it was almost as if he didn't believe that they would last and figured they might as well get everything important out of the way, in case things didn't work out.
It was like a knife in his heart and Dave pulled away, shaking his head.
"You don't trust in this, do you," Dave mumbled, trying to hide the shaking in his voice, "Do you think I'm going to hurt you?"
Kurt's hands were wrapped tightly in Dave's shirt and then his head moved forward to lean against Dave's chest.
"I'm afraid I'm the one who's going to hurt you," he whispered.
