Chapter 7

Urban Return

Rolf was a good boy. In fact, he always followed his father, the famous shepard of the old country, in whatever he did.

Rolf, today, had just finished planting his tomato seeds for the upcoming harvest.

"The Son of a Shepard wonders how little work could be done if he weren't here..." Rolf said with an accomplished tone as he grabbed Victor and slowly plowed the dirt above the seeds. Rolf then walked over to the pig trough and observed his healthy pig Wilfred gobbling the food scraps he had set out a few minutes ago.

"Rolf wishes he could feel the push of ten thousand going into his mouth again...." Rolf sighed as dumpe dmore scraps into the trough, which obviously made Wilfred happier than before. Rolf walked back into his house, and opened the fridge and pulled out a pitcher of milk.

"Victor's work of art will make a fine afternoon drink for Rolf..." Rolf complimented as he took a long gulp of the goat-made milk.

The door bell suddenly rang, and Rolf put the pitcher down on his table. Rolf began muttering angrily, and then slamme dopen the door.

"How many times must Rolf tell you Jonny-The Wood boy?!" Rolf yelled as he pumped his fist into the air threateningly.

Rolf peered around his front lawn, and didn't see a sign of the bald-headed boy.

"Rolf, I think you owe us an apology..." A monotone voice said from behind Rolf. Rolf didn't have enough time to react before he was pulled to the ground and had a hankercheif stuffed into his mouth....


"I'm surrounded by idiots...."

This is what Edd said as Eddy and Ed were playing 'Whack a Lamp', a game which basically involved two people hitting each other with lamps...

Obviously, this game was made by Ed....

"So Ed, give up?!" Eddy asked as he smacked the dented lamp onto Ed's head.

"......Ketchup? IT GOES GOOD WITH MUSTARD EDDY!" Ed yelled in a daze as he fell to the ground with multiple dents in his head. Eddy started laughing as Ed rubbed his head in confusion from what happened.

"Ha ha ha Eddy. Now, can we please get back to studying for the Geometry quiz on Tuesday. I plan on passing, thank you." Edd said as he took out a ruler from under his hat.

"Fine fine! Don't get your hat in a knot McLovin....." Eddy answered as he pulled out a calculator from his pants pocket.

"I heard that Rolf's great at Math...." Ed said happily. Eddy and Edd stared at Ed, both with confused looks.

"Did that Power Coin screw up your brain or something?" Eddy asked.

"Ed, Rolf is terrible at Math. Everyone knows that he can barely even write the number zero, nevermind one hundred or a thousand...." Edd admitted. Ed stared into the sky, and wondered where he heard that claim from before.


Rolf was tied up to a pole in the temple that was hidden under his shed.

"So Son of a Shepard, you have decided to defy our amendments?" A dark, hooded figure asked as he and 4 other hooded figures walked toward him.

"What amendments? Rolf does not know of any amendments that he has broken." Rolf admitted as he tried biting the rope tying him. The hooded man laughed, and pulled out a large, blue book, and then cleared his throat.

"All rangers must never go to any other urban assistance group unless they are given the exiting ceremony..." The man read from the book with a croaky voice, almost evil sounding. Rolf's eyes glared at the book, and he tried grabbing it.

"Fool! Rolf is no longer a part of that organization! Neither are my fellow members!" Rolf yelled as he began sweating from his constant sruggle in the rope.

"I suppose this means we now must give you the 'Udder Treatment'........"


"Tell me again Eddy, why are we going to Rolf's house?" Ed asked Eddy as the three Eds walked toward Rolf's now deserted house.

"Because, you're such an idiot that you broke the ruler on my head!" Eddy yelled, who now had about 5 wooden shards in the top of his forehead.

"Also because Rolf is excellent at woodworking. He definetly make a wooden ruler for us..." Edd asured. Ed rubbed his head in confusion, and continued wlaking with his friends.

When the friends reached the door, Edd slowly knocked.

"Rolf, we require your assistance..." Edd called from outside. The Eds stood outside for about 2 minutes before Eddy began to groan.

"Where the heck is he?" Eddy asked. Ed glanced over to the side of the house, and spotted the nincompoop entrance from when he worked for Rolf.

"Guys, use the nincompoop entrance!" Ed recommended as Ed ran over to the gate, and then crashed through it.

"Oh my....Splinters, bruises, cuts...." Edd winced as he ran over the laughing Ed.

"Hey, I'm helping you guys too!" Eddy yelled as he ran to the backyard as well.

Ed was already over by the shed, and Edd could already see the hole that led to Rolf's temple underground.

"Rolf must've gone down there to groom his lambs. Wouldn't surprise me with how many he-" Edd was about to turn around, but was wacked in the face by Eddy, who pushed Edd and Ed into the hole, along with Eddy. The Eds, as Edd and Eddy did last time, began falling down the long stairs that led to Rolf's chamber. Each hit made them yell in pain as they continued down the long staircase made of stone.


After about two minutes of falling, the Eds landed on each other, and spotted Rolf, who was still tied to the pole.

"Rolf! Oh my, who did this to you?" Edd asked as he began to untie Rolf. Rolf stood still with his eyes wide open.

"Them.....they came to collect my badges..." Rolf stuttered. Ed started shivering from the darkness all around them, and it wasn't that close to midnight, but somethin' WAS lurking from the dark....

The same hooded figure that had tied Rolf up grabbed Eddy, and threw him into Rolf, knocking both to the ground.

"Eddy! Rolf! Who are to throw two innocent children against a pole?" Edd asked angrily. The man in the hood laughed, and then grabbed his hood.

"We are....The Urban Rangers!" The man exclaimed, taking off his hood to reveal a normal looking man, with a fairly gray beard, and a burn across his face.

"I knew it! You can never trust those Urban Scumbags!" Eddy yelled as he crawled back up from the ground.

"Now, it's time for us to take care of your friend, and give him the Udder Treatment." The man said with a mad laugh. Eddy helped Rolf up from his weak state, and prepared to use his morpher.

"It's morphin' time!"

"MASTADON!"

"TRICERATOPS!"

"TYRANNOSAURUS!"

"And I'm Ed.....uh....I think!" Ed said happily, as he wanted to join in the roll call as well.

"No matter. Four of you can't beat us Urban Rangers. You see, we're not as 'innocent' as we look to be..." The man chuckled as he pulled a sword from the inside of his cloak. Three other hooded figures appeared next to the man, and they also pulled out swords. Ed gulped, but Eddy, Edd, and Rolf activated their Power weapons, and ran toward the mysterious team of Urban Rangers.

Edd was dueling with the shortest hooded man, who was putting up a good fight, but his sword was then cut in half by Edd's Power Lance. The hooded figure, who now looked like a scared Jawa, ran away screaming.

Eddy slashed his sword into another hooded figure, which sent the figure to the ground. The hooded person got back up and tried to stab Eddy, but he slashed the Power Sword down and cut the hooded person's hand off, which sent him running away as well.

Ed headbutted the fattest of the rangers, and he smacked into the stone wall, which sent a brick from the ceiling down, which clocked the ranger on his hooded head, knocking him out.

"I feel funny...." Ed muttered with a grin as his eyes spun in their sockets from hitting the Urban Ranger.

Rolf, however, was being smashed around by the man with the white beard. Everytime Rolf slashed his Power Axe, the man countered with his sword, which looked like it was made of iron, and sent a shower of sparks when it hit Rolf. Rolf jumped back up this time, and then clashed weapons with the man.

"The Son of a Shepard will not give in! Not for a fool like you, not ANYONE!" Rolf yelled as he began smashing his axe into the man's sword, with chips of iron flying off after each strike. Before Rolf could finish the man off, the man took out a small bottle of liquid.

"If you were still a member, you'd remember to always carry the smoke gas..." The man laughed as he threw the bottle against the ground, which caused a huge puff of smoke to blow in the face of Rolf and everyone else in the room.

When the smoke cleared, the rangers were gone from the chamber, and only the Eds and the Son of a Shepard remained.

"Rolf will one day get the Urban Rangers back. This Rolf swears on his blue, hairy back..." Rolf muttered.

"Rolf, do you think you can lend us some tweezers?" Eddy asked as he and Edd got up, who were now unmorphed.

"And can you carve out a ruler for us?" Edd asked as he helped Ed up, who's eyes were still spinning from his headbutt.

"Sure Ed-boys. Just one request......Please help change Rolf's wet trousers...."


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