"Is that something you do every night?" Nick was staring into space, not wanting to see just how torn down Kellogg was, how vulnerable he was here, alone with him. His fingers were resting on the wall, still lingering at the top of the stairs. A small closed off part of himself clenched, heart aching, as he matched the worn down trails going horizontal along the wall up the stairs where Kellogg had to have dragged his hand countless times before with his fingers.
"Does that matter?" Kellogg lit a candle set on the table, half buried by its own wax. "I didn't like spending time here as it were." He took a step in Nick's direction, one Nick didn't notice, the shallow flickering of the flame holding his attention.
"Makes you think of Shaun?"
The question took him aback, and Kellogg cocked his head to the side, his expression one of perplexment. "Lived here a while with him here. Got used to the kid being underfoot." He shook his head. "Feels empty by myself."
Nick's eyes shifted toward Kellogg's outline without a blink, and his head didn't follow. "I wouldn't know what that's like."
"Mm, that's right, you have your lady friend." A toothy smirk crossed Kellogg's lips, still swollen where Nick punched him.
"She's not anything like that." Nick added, his gaze sliding over Kellogg's expression in disgust. "Ellie's a friend. Just a friend."
"Just a friend, huh." Kellogg echoed, and shifted where he was standing, shrugging out of his armor. The buckles glistened in the dim glow of the candlelight, before they hit the ground with a metallic jingle. "I trust you're not going to kill me while I sleep."
Nick flexed his fingers, adding a barbed remark, "And give up this thing we have going?"
The venomous addition took him by surprise. "You say that so much, somebody's gonna take you seriously." Kellogg peeled his jacket off, cream colored shirt almost glowing in the gloom.
"I'm here, aren't I?" He turned to follow the line of his shoulders, muscles flexing beneath the thin fabric. "If I didn't want to be here, I would have left hours ago."
"What are you saying?" He crossed the small loft in a matter of seconds, palm flat against the wall next to Nick's head. Kellogg leaned in, the low growl of his voice threatening in the close space between them.
"Means I'm-" Nick's head lifted, falling back against the wall, words cut short. His eyes found Kellogg's, gold settling on the twin glance of his brown eyes. His hands crept up Kellogg's chest, pausing at the triangle of skin bared from his open collar, his shadow looming over Nick, the detective thrown into darkness where Kellogg blocked the candlelight with his body. He opened his mouth to finish his thought but the words wouldn't come. Nick lowered his gaze, fingers grazing the edge above the button clasp. "I'm not going anywhere."
Kellogg watched, fascinated, as Nick worked the buttons of his shirt open, revealing more bare skin, dusted with dark hair, skin looking almost like patchwork where the cybernetic enhancements had been reintroduced to his system, grafted to a new host body. His muscles stood out behind the too pale skin, and Nick's hand slipped lower, coming to rest at his hip. "Distracted?" He breathed, feeling both of Nick's hands close around to his back, stopping somewhere around his shoulder blades.
Nick cleared his throat, face already so hot. He was sure that was from the liquor, but even so, the heat from Kellogg's body so close to his was maddening. He pulled him close, their chests touching. His hips canted toward the body angled between his legs, and Kellogg clasped him closer, squeezing Nick against the wall. The added weight wasn't unwelcome, as Nick's fingernails scraped their way against his shoulders. He exhaled, mouth open, as Kellogg's hand traced up his tense jaw.
Nick's gold eyes followed Kellogg's gaze and he felt a wave of warmth spread down his spine, into his belly at their proximity. "Were you always like this?" He touched one of the spots near Kellogg's spine, a raw looking square around three centimeters across, where a cybernetic enhancement was held snugly under his skin. "All these.. frankenstein bits sticking out all over..?"
" Don't ."
Nick almost drew back, startled by the sound of fear in his voice. It came out like a snarl, words hissed right in his ear. Arousal fluttered somewhere below his heart, and Nick took a moment to press his warm palm to the spot, feeling the ridges and bumps of the small metal box linked to his spinal cord. Kellogg squirmed under his touch, ropy muscle twitching and flexing where his hand lay. "You're one to talk. Before they stuffed you in this new body, you had enough pieces missing to build a whole second you."
"You destroyed me, you're the reason I'm even in this new body." He turned his head, mouth just above Kellogg's pulse point. He could smell the smoke and bourbon on him.
"I never said I hated it."
Nick closed his mouth, eyes heavily lidded as he peered out from under his eyelashes. "Then what?"
Kellogg opened his mouth to respond, before closing his mouth again. His free hand closed around Nick's throat, lifting his chin. "I can't hate anything anymore. There's nothing left in me that could even do that. I'm finished with that."
Nick's brow furrowed and he snapped; "Nora hates you, she would kill you over and over again if she could."
"Would you ?"
He clammed up, lips pressed together tight. "I would have done it already."
"That's what I thought." Kellogg pressed their mouths together, prying his lips open and delving deeper into his mouth with his tongue. "It's not hate that brings you back every time, is it?" He was breathing hard, their faces close.
"Every time I look at you, I remember how much you've hurt Nora, and I.." He paused, mouth grazing Kellogg's lips. "I hate you, because of it."
"Mmhm." He crushed Nick closer to the wall, hoisting him up balanced on his thighs and kissed him again. Nick hooked his ankles around Kellogg's waist, holding himself up by the arms around Kellogg's back. "I'm not even hurt. Last time I met someone who didn't hate me was," He stopped to think about it, breath hot as he captured his mouth again. "Your friend's son. He was a good kid, and he grew up without people like me, and like Nora , around him."
"She'd make a good mother, I know she would." Nick countered, licking his lips and catching the sour taste of liquor from Kellogg's mouth.
"She got her chance. You know she joined the Institute."
All the air was sucked from Nick's lungs and he felt cold all over. "The Institute had Shaun all along?"
"He's running the show now." Kellogg answered, mouth brushing the edge of Nick's jaw, noting how wan Nick had become at once. "Thought he despised me. Guess I'm too valuable a resource to let go like that."
"Oh," Nick breathed, having trouble keeping everything inside. He didn't want Kellogg to see him like this. He knew now this was why she sent him away. Nick's breathing hitched and he squeezed Kellogg's shoulders tight enough to grate the bones together.
"Fuck, this is really beating you up." Kellogg spoke, in disbelief.
Nick's legs dropped from around his waist, and he struggled to keep standing, back against the wall. "How could she just abandon everyone like that? Everyone was counting on her, and for what, she ends up dropping everything because her son's in charge?"
Kellogg crossed his arms over his chest. "People like us don't fit into the Institute's idea of a perfect world. I used to think it would do some good, so no one else dies like my family did, but it's a bullshit dream. What's the point if it wouldn't bring them back?"
Nick stiffened, turning his head away as he listened to him.
"The last thing the self-righteous pricks said to me before they turned me loose on the wasteland was something about having someone new to do their dirty work. Fifty caps says it's your girl."
He took a breath and held it for a long moment. "They threw you out when you stopped being useful."
"Sound familiar?" Kellogg had him pressed to the wall again. Nick's fingers curled around the sides of Kellogg's lapels, holding his gaze with some difficulty. "The way I see it, they figured they'd need me again up until Nora showed up, guns blazing. The kid gave 'em the all clear to toss me when she wasn't deemed a threat, and here I am now."
He reached out to touch a spot on Kellogg's chest that rose and fell with his breathing, a curved scar that still shone raw and healing, up along his ribs. Healing stitch marks dotted either side of the wound. "Was this here their doing?" A part of him wanted to know if Kellogg hated the Institute for doing so much harm to him too.
Kellogg hissed through his teeth, sucking in a breath. The muscles under Nick's hand quivered. "No. Stitched this up myself after some fucked up raider thought I was easy pickings outside of the Combat Zone on my way back here."
"You didn't need to come back. There's nothing for you here." Nick turned away. "The Institute threw you out like some kind of garbage."
"Same went for you," Kellogg spat his direction, words caustic. "But you're here, same as I am."
He looked up, expression flashing darkly. "This city is my home . I can't just leave the way you do."
"I'm not leaving, Valentine." Kellogg's hand curved around his waist, squeezing and drawing him closer. "I'm sick of running. If the Institute wants me dead then I'll face them the way I faced Nora."
"Don't say her name like that. You don't know her as well as I do." Nick pressed his palms to Kellogg's chest, staring at his face. His lip curled, and the anger rising in him was a foreign feeling, filling him with an energy he didn't want to like, but it felt so good. "You don't know anything about her, everything she went through, just to find Shaun." His hands hit Kellogg's chest, feeling like he was punching a brick wall.
Kellogg took his wrists in his hands, slamming them up against the wall. "Why do you care? She doesn't give a shit about you, she only put you in this new body so she didn't feel bad for letting you get fucked the way you were." His mouth was near Nick's, curled in an angry snarl. Kellogg's voice dropped low, making Nick's legs tremble. "Where do you think she got this extra synth body from?"
Nick's eyes widened and he stared straight ahead, searching Kellogg's expression, hoping beyond hope he would find evidence of a lie. "Doctor Amari would never let them do that."
"That doesn't matter." He forced Nick back against the wall harder, and the detective struggled to remain standing, heels barely scraping the floor where Kellogg's thighs prevented him from keeping his feet on the ground.
All of his weight hung from his arms where they were being crushed against the wall, and Nick shifted his hips to relieve the ache in his shoulders. His mouth opened in a gentle oh, and he was trying to maintain his breathing.
"What do you get out of telling me this?" Nick's leg hooked around the top of Kellogg's ass, his other knee curved up closer to his body. Kellogg shifted, pressing closer. He released Nick's wrists, instead holding them trapped beneath his forearm, hands sagging forward. The ache in his shoulders was lessened when Kellogg took hold of his bent leg, spreading his thighs apart further, leaving Nick balanced against his leg.
"Your girl isn't as nice as you think she is." He curved his hand around Nick's thigh, jerking his legs open, getting his fingers hooked around Nick's knee. He was hard, the tent in his pants pressing insistently against the seam. Nick groaned as he was squashed against the wall, the strain of his erection against his groin supplying a delicious friction that he couldn't help but react to.
Nick couldn't bring himself to say the words he wanted to say, swallowing hard, as Kellogg pinned him against the wall. He lifted Nick's leg, draping the detective's knee over his shoulder to free up his hand. The stretch of his thigh ached, and his breath was shaky, but he was at Kellogg's mercy, and a sweet heat was gathering in the pit of his stomach at that thought.
"She's still not as bad as you." He whined, sweat gathering on his brow as Kellogg drew his hand along the edge of Nick's stomach. He breathed hard, body heaving, as his hand left his sticky skin, before returning down the curve of Nick's ass, and with a tug, he shoved Nick's pants past his thighs, gathered up closer to his knees, before Nick kicked them off. His erection sprung upward, flushed and eager for touch, but Kellogg ignored it, jamming their mouths together. Nick arched toward him, rocking his hips against the rough fabric of his pants, his erection catching against Kellogg's belt.
He needed more, Kellogg's touch intoxicating, his body desperate for touch. Kellogg's fingers crept back around, avoiding his erection with a vengeance, as he bunched up the bottom of Nick's shirt, getting it up around his chest. He let out a quiet sound as Kellogg's fingers trailed down his side, before edging past his ass. One finger circled and then sunk into him, and he hissed, clenching around him all at once.
"O-oh, goodness.." Nick's voice quaked, hands tightening into fists above his head.
He was still so slick inside; Kellogg quirked his finger and Nick tossed his head back, fists tensing above him.
"Shit, the sounds you make, Valentine." He twisted his finger inside him, sinking it down into him to the last knuckle. Nick turned his head to breathe, dizzy from the attention, his lips swollen from where Kellogg's teeth cut into them.
Nick gasped aloud when his fingers left his body, only to be replaced by something bigger and hotter. He wasn't sure if it was the liquor that heightened the feeling, but it was so much more than he was used to, pleasure pummeling him over and over. His heart was hammering, their bodies pressed together, skin to skin. The friction against his red cock was almost too much at the very start when Kellogg shoved into him, Nick's back hard against the wall.
Kellogg pulled back for a moment, granting Nick a second's respite, feeling empty, before he thrust his hips, and a cry was ripped from Nick's mouth. He felt so full , every inch of him on fire from the no longer unwelcome weight pinning him to the wall, and it was all he could do to keep from falling apart right there, unraveling from the sheer overwhelming pleasure as he tore through him, hips pistoning. His weeping cock was caught between them, and he wished he could touch himself if Kellogg wasn't going to, the friction driving him crazy.
Nick was forced back against the wall, head rolling along his shoulders. Kellogg released his wrists, and for a moment Nick was falling, unable to balance. Kellogg thrust at once, and Nick's hands flew around his neck with a cry. He'd gotten so deep, moving his hips in an unsteady rhythm, and Nick needed him to do that again.
"To the bed. I need you to move to the bed." Nick's mouth was up against his ear, each thrust drawing a new sound from between his lips.
Kellogg gathered his hips in his hands, biceps tensing as he lifted him. Nick held on with a vice grip before the soft press of his back against the mattress was something he noticed, and then Kellogg's weight was on Nick again, driving deeper into him. Nick's leg was bent, caught in Kellogg's elbow as he moved with him. His hands flew lower, tracing the shape of Kellogg's muscles, before they delved up his shoulders. Nick started pushing Kellogg's shirt off, fingernails tracking red lines along his skin. He shrugged out of the constricting fabric, hands all over Nick as he went harder.
He pulled Kellogg closer, their mouths meeting. He tasted like smoke and the tang of liquor still lingered on his tongue. After his shirt was off, Nick took to his unmarked flesh, leaving bite marks along Kellogg's shoulders. His heel hooked on the edge of Kellogg's pants, and he shoved them down without another thought, eager for that skin to skin contact, the sticky heat of their bodies as he arched toward him. Kellogg took hold of his hips, plunging harder into him. He could feel how close Kellogg was, the way his thighs trembled each time he drew closer. Nick met his expression with one of his own, mouth open as he peered up at him. Something about the look on his face bade Nick take him by the arms and mash their mouths together, pressing their bodies close. He let out a shocked groan, so tense already. Nick clutched at his back, feeling the muscles move under his hands.
Kellogg's face turned away, and he moaned, words coming with some difficulty. "You have no idea how much I need you."
A twinge of an ache blossomed somewhere deep in Nick's chest, and it spiked down, changing and burning as he was forced headlong over the edge with a sharp cry, body angling up toward Kellogg as he came. The roiling pleasure that built within him released all at once, and Nick barely even acknowledged Kellogg's tumble over the edge to his climax after him, the way he relaxed against Nick's heaving chest or the open mouthed kiss he pressed to Nick's racing jugular. Nick's hips ached as Kellogg let his leg down, knee still raised. "No. I don't."
He blinked up at the detective, Nick's words hitting him hard. The detective knew as soon as he said it. He decided perhaps there was a misunderstanding over his motives. "I'm starting to wonder why you stayed."
"Not because of this ." Nick answered, hands traveling down the mercenary's sides until they came to rest at the apex of his hips before he pulled out of him with a soft groan. Nick's breath came in hard, and he tried to ignore the empty feeling that remained. He was sore, and sticky, and somehow could not bring himself to just storm out of there.
"Didn't consider the way we are now included in the helping part of the deal?" Kellogg shifted beside him, lying on his side next to him on the narrow mattress Nick closed his eyes, forcing himself to ignore the way Kellogg's fingertips danced along his side. "Thought that was your primary motivation here."
Nick rolled over away from him, wincing at the wet leaking down the back of his thighs. He stiffened when Kellogg's arm coiled around his waist almost automatically, drawing him in closer. His hands tensed along Kellogg's forearm when it tightened around his hips, and he felt the steady rise and fall of Kellogg's solid chest against his back as they lay silently for a few moments, the mercenary's heart beating loud between his shoulder blades. "Are you trying to get me to admit to something?"
"Maybe." A sleepy reply came from somewhere behind his ear, accompanied by the sound of a sigh.
Nick opened his mouth to say more, words ready to be spit, but he stopped when he realized Kellogg was asleep. He turned in his grip, laying on his back, head turned to face him. Kellogg didn't stir, breathing regularly. His chest felt funny, tight all of a sudden and Nick's breath caught in his throat. This was nice, in a way. The quiet. It had been a while since he'd had someone's arms around him. His thoughts fell unbidden to Nora, and he realized it was just his luck he would keep finding himself involved with the Institute long after his creation and subsequent dumping into the trash. He hoped Nora was happy with her decision, absently wondering if Preston was.
The last thing Nick saw before his eyes settled closed was Kellogg's sleeping face, something like fondness flaring up in the pit of his belly. He wasn't sure if he liked this new development or not, the way things had turned out.
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