Remember when I said this collection would be taking a back seat while I worked on my other stories? Hmm well look how that turned out. I am trying, but I've got two counts of writers block to deal with, so hopefully I can dispel some with this. I'm pretty pleased with it TBH. Oh and also, *ahem massive plug alert* I have recently written a Nathan Barley story called Quitting and and IT Crowd story called Gothic Electronic, so do check those out if you watch either of the shows...

Disclaimer: Only in my dreams.

Warnings: Naughty words.

One Month In

It hit him sometimes. It's not like he ever really forgot, how could he, but sometimes the enormity, the glorious magnificent enormity of it all would wash over him and he would find it hard to not laugh out loud and stop the ecstasy rolling off of him in big powerful waves. He wondered if he would ever get to used to it. He hoped not.

It was going... well it was going really really well. Like, really really well. A broad grin graced his face once again, as now familiar but no less thrilling happiness flooded his senses. He wasn't really used to happiness. He wasn't saying he had been miserable before, because he'd still been there, hadn't he? Not quite as here as he was now of course, but there nonetheless. But now, his life was... his life was... Words failed him. Him a master of language, conqueror of the written word, stupefied by just how brilliant it all was. How brilliant he was.

There had been a time, a terrible dark time, where it had looked like it wouldn't end well. Where it wouldn't even end tolerably. He could visualise his life as a graph, time on the x axis, happiness on the y (clearly organised and labeled thoughs are the key to success.) The graph would start near the bottom, flat and brown, trundling along quietly. Then, as he reached secondary school, bam, the line would spike up, turn electric blue and everything would get better, get amazing. There would be adventures and crimps and a pair of ridiculously large blue eyes and yes the line might wobble up and down a bit (Crack Foxes and Hitchers, winning crimp offs and cheating death) but it was consistently, wonderfully high. Then it would spike again, spike high because there would be a kiss on the roof and the line would turn technicolour. That would be when, however, the line would take a downward turn, some of the colour would dissipate. They would hit the bouncy castle and it would all get a bit weird. The line would go down, steadily and just steep enough to notice, getting greyer all the time until he was mental enough to think maybe it would be better if he left. So he did. He went off with Jurgen. Forget flat-lining, the line would nose-dive, break through the x axis and delve deep off the graph paper and into the realms of deepest despair. To this day, he had no idea what had possessed him to take Jurgen up on his offer. Those two weeks had been the bleakest of his life, everyday a hideous struggle. A constant gnawing in the pit of his stomach that was part guilt part longing and part unrequited love.

Although it turned out unrequited was a bit of a presumption.

He remembered his return to the shop in vivid detail. He very much doubted he would ever forget.

Howard watched in horror as Vince, Bollo and Naboo laughed at the windy blast fast commercial, laughed at him. His return couldn't have been going worse if he tried. First there was the fact that no-one seemed the least bit interested in the fact that he was back. Vince had barely looked up from the television. Had he even noticed that he had gone? Did he even care that he was back? Then there was that Adam berk, showing just how easy to replace he had been. Treacherous thoughts chased each other through Howard's brain, each uglier than the last. Did Vince like Adam? Did they get on? Did they crimp? Did they have satsuma fights? Had they kissed? Howard looked at Vince, hoping to catch his eye, for some sign that he had been missed, some sign of affection. Vince however was staring at the TV with an intensity far disproportionate to the bland music videos on display there. He was fidgeting slightly, his hands shaking as they worried at his cuffs or tapped quiet, tense rhythms on the counter. As Howard watched he swallowed thickly and began to blink rapidly before jumping up so suddenly that Howard started.

"I've, um, I've got a right headache coming on, I'm just gonna-" Vince waved vaguely at the stairs before bolting up them. Howard hesitated for a second and glanced at Naboo and Bollo, but they were far to engrossed in the new Robots In Disguise video to notice anything. Making his mind up Howard followed Vince up the stairs, to find him lent against a wall with his head in his hands, shaking with suppressed emotion.

"...Vince?" asked Howard tentatively, suddenly slightly afraid. Vince looked up at Howard slowly, sniffing as he did so, and Howard wasn't sure if he was surprised to see tears spilling from his eyes or not. He was sure that he had to stop it though, right now, because there was something fundamentally wrong about Vince crying. "What's wrong?"

"What's wrong." said Vince in a hollow voice looking at Howard incredulously. "What's fucking wrong!" he shrieked again and incredulity turned to anger in a heart beat. Vince launched himself at Howard punching and slapping at any part of him he could reach. Luckily Vince was too emotional to much real damage but it was disconcerting nonetheless.

"Vince! What, ow, what are you, ow! Why-" Howard grabbed Vince's wrists tightly. "Why are you beating me up?" he asked as calmly as he could when his heart was beating that hard, half from anger and half from something he was reasonably sure was lust. Vince did do anger rather magnificently.

"You twat!" Vince pulled his wrists from Howard's grip fiercely before prowling to the other side of the room. "You left, you just left me! With barely a word, definitely without a goodbye! I asked for you, you jazzy nonce, after I had collapsed on stage and Bollo took me home, I regained consciousness and asked for you. Naboo had to tell me you had left, as an afterthought! "Oh by the way, Howard's left you, he probably wont be back." Have you got any idea how... how dispensable that made me feel? We've been best mates for more than ten years and you, you just fucking left!" Vince was now practically hysterical, hands shaking and tears tracks glistening on his cheeks.

"I did tell you!" yelled Howard, as he tried not feel some satisfaction at the way Vince was talking about them like they were a couple. He really did try. "You didn't care! I came in to your dressing room, at your electro circus and told you I was going off with Jurgen. You barely even noticed me!"

"Oh, I wonder why that could have been? Could it have possibly been because I had a gorilla helping me in to the tightest trousers known to man and couldn't even breathe, let alone think? Do you honestly thinks that counts as a good bye Howard? I had no oxygen going to my brain, I didn't know what was happening!"

There was of course some truth in this, but the argument was far too heated for Howard to ever admit it.

"Well my absence can't have affected you that badly Vince, you certainly replaced me quickly enough!"

"That wasn't me! That was Naboo! I've barely even spoken to that Arron guy. I was too busy wondering my oldest and best mate, had not only left me without even saying goodbye, but hadn't even called me! Not even one fucking text Howard!"

Howard found he had no answer for that. "Vince..." he began much quieter, without any idea how he was going to finish the sentence. Vince was still shaking and still crying and Howard could feel his heart breaking.

"I know why you did it." said Vince, also much quieter.

"What?"

"I know why you were so eager to leave. You felt all awkward after your party, I could tell. You'd been avoiding me." Vince's hollow voice was back, and Howard thought he would have preferred the shouting.

"Well it was rather humiliating, what did you expect?"

"Oh cheers Howard."

"...what?"

"Just rub it in, why don't you. It was bad enough getting chucked by you for some jazzy girl who weren't even that pretty, without you reminding me how "humiliating" it all was. But then I guess anyone's a step up from me, ay 'oward." Vince said this with such resignation, that even though he said it to the floor, Howard still felt like he was drowning in something.

"What? But... No! I meant it was humiliating for me! I came on to you on the roof and you tried to make me stop but I just blundered on anyway, saying all that stuff and you, you, told me that you weren't interested!"

"Didn't say that exactly though did I? I said you weren't interested. There's a difference."

"What? Vince, I don't get what you're saying."

"You weren't in love with me Howard. You were just in love with the idea of me, all excited about having a girlfriend or boyfriend or whatever. It weren't nothing to do with it being me who kissed you. If it had been Dennis, you would have said the same to him. If I had gone along with it...That jazzy girl just proves my point. You'd have left me for someone better who showed you some small bit of affection and I'd be cast aside like yesterdays Cheekbone."

Howard's brain was screaming THERE IS NO-ONE BETTER at a frighteningly loud volume, but Howard was having trouble putting his torrent of thoughts and feeling into words. He needed to explain, emphatically, and he needed to do it quickly.

"Vince." That was a good start. In a fit of bravery Howard crossed the room and grabbed Vince hand tightly, but when that didn't seem to be enough to chase away the look of resigned heartbreak in Vince's eyes Howard pulled him into a bone crushing hug. "I only went of with that jazz girl to save face, Vince. Please understand that. You had just rejected me on the roof, and I didn't want to think about it, and I definitely didn't want to talk about it, and I thought you wouldn't bring it up if I got off with her. Then you had that electro girl..." Vince mumbled "saving face" into Howard's chest and Howard held him a little tighter. "And all that stuff about me falling in love with anyone who gives me any affection... It's not true. It's just you Vince, it's always been you. Everyone else, Mrs Gideon, were just me feebly trying to distract myself from you. Because I never thought that you'd, I mean your so perfect and I'm... well. But the point is there is no danger of me ever finding anyone better because there is no-one better than you, Vince, there never will be." Howard pulled Vince away from him slightly so he could see his face, and gently thumbed away his tears. "I'm so so sorry for leaving you like that." he whispered, fairly sure he was seconds from crying himself.

Vince swallowed loudly and traced idle patterns on Howard's chest with light fingers, evidently deep in thought. "D'you really mean that 'oward?" he said looking up at the taller man. Howard had forgotten how much smaller Vince was than him. "'Cus if you say all this now, and then tomorrow some girl pops into the shop, with a nice smile and an interest in jazz and you... Well I don't think I could take that Howard, I really don't."

Howard risked brushing a kiss against Vince's temple as he whispered, "I promise. For once Howard Moon crosses that physical barrier, it'll be forever Sir!" Vince let out strangled laugh that sounded more like a sob and buried his head in Howard's chest again. They stayed like that for an immeasurable amount of time, not thinking, just listening to each other breathing. Then Vince stood on tiptoe and pressed a slightly salty but still indescribably delicious kiss to Howard's lips.

"Don't ever leave me again."

"I wont little man."

He couldn't believe that had been a whole month ago. Since then things had been so much more normal with so much less drama than he had expected. After the initial conversation, Howard had been surprised at how easy everything had been. He had a new favourite hobby – sex with Vince turned out to bepositively mind-melting and for the first week of their relationship they had barely left the bedroom. And what a fine week it had been. Naboo had not been impressed. They still did all the things they had always done, except now there was a new element, another dimension to it. Watching Colobus The Crab reruns was just the same, except Vince was draped over him like a flannel and there was kissing in the ad breaks. There was still bickering in the shop, except now it was a lot more like flirting. Although, as Vince had pointed out to him one evening when Howard had shared these thoughts with him, the bickering had always been flirting really. Vince still went out clubbing and stumbled home drunk, just less frequently and he got back earlier. Howard went all melty inside when Vince said half the reason he did it was because he loved how Howard looked after him when he was hungover. They were still mates, but they were so much more too.

Vince made a sleepy noise and his eyelids fluttered but remained closed. He lazily lifted a hand to ruffle his hair and kissed the bit of Howard's chest he was lying on.

"Morning." said Howard quietly.

Vince yawned comically wide and opened his eyes, looking up at Howard in a way that made it impossible to look away. Vince leant up and gave Howard a languorous kiss.

"Morning."

And it hit Howard all over again.

What did we think? I kinda loosely based the fight of HP7 when Ron comes back and Hermione is angry... But that isn't what's important. What's important is that you review.