It was a blustery autumn night as the cloaked man pushed past the trick-or-treaters and residents of Hogsmeade. As far as the eye could see all the stores were decorated with kitschy items and floating Jack O'Lanterns organized by the mayor created a lovely orange glow over the area. Residents of Hogwarts had been granted permission to visit earlier that day to provide an unforgettable experience and stimulate the local economy, and were slowly milling out to enjoy a delicious feast back at their school, all excitedly chattering about what Dumbledore had planned for this year's celebration and admiring one another's costumes.

But the cloaked man didn't care about that. He had his sights set on The Hog's Head to settle a score. His hand found the door.

*BOOM*

*BOOM*

*BOOM*

Grumbling all the way, the owner of The Hog's Head poked out his weary-looking face, squinting at the amber glow outside of his pub.

"Waking me up at this bloody hour - who are you?" Aberforth moaned warily.

"I've come to settle me score, Aberforth."

The figure whipped off his hood to reveal the horrible - the terrifying - the gigantic - the sweet-hearted face of Hogwarts' Keeper of Keys & Game, Rubeus Hagrid. However, he didn't look very happy at this very moment. Hagrid was a man with a mission.

"Yesterday, I believe you promised me a t-shirt if I could outdrink you in a battle determined by your very own brand of moonshine." Hagrid growled, poking his enormous finger into Aberforth's chest. "This sacred achievement is known as "The Grumbly Challenge". I remember winning that bet. And yet, it's been more than a day and I still have no t-shirt. How do ya care to explain that?"

"I've been delirious the whole day, Hagrid, give me a break!" Aberforth groaned. "That stuff I make may taste good, but it's just awful. Besides, none of my shirts would fit you."

"Do I need to insist on an unbreakable vow?" Hagrid snarled, fingering an arrow that was sticking out of his coat pocket.

"Blimey, Hagrid, you know I'd die if I didn't live up to that vow!" Aberforth cried out.

"I may have been kicked out me third year, but I'm more than aware of how the vow works." Hagrid replied curtly.

"Merlin's saggy left testicle, Hagrid, you're a real wanker, you know that?!" Aberforth glared at the imposing figure standing before him. "FINE - I'll fill out an order tonight and you can put it in the mailbox on the way out, okay?"

"Well, thanks Aberforth, that'd really be the bee's knees." Hagrid responded cheerfully, his expression changing from furious to genial so fast you would have sworn he was half shape-shifter in addition to being half-giant. Aberforth muttered something thankfully unintelligible as he jerked his head to indicate Hagrid could come in and shuffled upstairs to look through his files.

Bowing his head as he entered, Hagrid surveyed the dirty yet homely atmosphere of The Hog's Head, which was currently unoccupied thanks to the "Closed, I'm Piss Drunk!" sign he had chuckled at but ignored the message of entirely.

"You know, Hagrid, all these years you've been coming here, I'm surprised you didn't go for The Grumbly Challenge a lot earlier." Aberforth called from his room upstairs.

"Well, the rules of The Grumbly Challenge says the 100th winner will get free drinks for the rest of the year! It was a simple matter of waiting for all the other barflies and kidding-themself lushes to take their shots at you before I swooped in to win my prize." Hagrid bragged.

Aberforth was silent for a full twenty-three seconds before shuffling down the stairs and giving Hagrid a perplexed, pucker-lipped expression.

"And you chose to win free drinks for the rest of the year… In October?" Aberforth asked. "Wouldn't it make sense to wait until January?"

"You underestimate how much I actually drink." Hagrid looked a little offended at this. "Besides, I have the honor of being the hundreth person to show up on the wall! Someone might have taken it by then. It's been a dream I've had since I was thirteen."

Aberforth shot the portrait of his sister a roll of the eyes, which Ariana returned in interest with the raising of her arms as if to say "really?"

Hagrid didn't seem to mind this, filling his flask with a bit of firewhiskey and humming a familiar tune to himself as Aberforth finished dotting the i's and crossing the t's on his request for a XXXXXXXXXX-Large shirt.

"DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO - say, could you top me off with some ale?" Hagrid asked.

"Can't you just get it yourself?" Aberforth grumbled.

"I could, but it tastes so much better coming from you!" Hagrid said innocently, batting his eyelashes. "Must be the love, I think.

"Or, the spite. Trust me, I'm actually the one who serves this stuff." Aberforth retorted, tossing an envelope Hagrid's way and filling up a glass before serving it, which Hagrid sipped the foam off of diligently.

"Accio camera!" Aberforth said, and a camera soon hurtled down the stairs into Aberforth's hands.

"Why didn't you do that earlier with the forms?" Hagrid asked.

"No good reason. I didn't think of doing that. You have a higher tolerance than mine. Whatever you feel comfortable believing." Aberforth sighed. "Say cheese!"

"CHEESE!" Hagrid bellowed, showing all his teeth and holding his glass high.

"Came out quite nicely." Aberforth said, examining the picture. "Right, come with me to the old gallery."

Sipping his drink as he went along, Hagrid followed Aberforth to a sea of pictures with a collection of intoxicated witches and wizards posing to demonstrate that they had indeed survived The Grumbly Challenge, with ten pictures in a row. Hagrid's addition was pinned to the very edge of the bottom, with a shiny bronze one and two zeroes written on it along with Hagrid's full name.

"Blimey, I didn't know little Narcissa Black won that! Surprised it didn't turn her inside out." Hagrid exclaimed, pointing at the eighty-eighth winner of The Grumbly Challenge, who currently was whooping before turning as grey as her cardigan and throwing up.

"Like it? I have the set." Aberforth said casually. "Had to start checking their age a lot more aggressively from then on, she used an aging potion to qualify and my moonshine does NOT sit well with that, it turns out."

"What do you mean, you have the set?" Hagrid asked.

"Well, The Black Family currently holds the record for most members to participate in The Grumbly Challenge, and that's off blood relatives alone, mind you. Marriages make it even bigger!" Aberforth explained, smiling a bit for the first time that evening.

"Narcissa's sisters are here - and - where is it - here. Had to edit that one, she took her bloody top off right when I took the picture, puberty was kind to that family, let me tell you. Narcissa's cousin, Sirius, was a fun one, he got dressed up all fancy and brought a whole posse to cheer him on and everything. Most people just flip me off, but he insisted on doing a fancy photo shoot until he got it JUST RIGHT. I liked that. Sent him a copy as a house-warming gift. Sirius' brother, Regulus, is actually not that far-off from you, look -"

Aberforth indicated number ninety-six, which portrayed a skinny seventeen-year-old wearing quidditch robes who looked excited to finally being able to drink, The Quidditch Cup in one hand and his first drink as an adult in the other, a bit of moonshine still dripping down his lips, the hands of his friends slapping his back and pumping their fists in the air.

"And that's just this generation - my humble challenge goes all the way back to ol' Phineas Nigellus himself, the seventh official winner of The Grumbly Challenge." Aberforth stood back and admired his collection proudly. "It's like I have my own personal copy of The Black Family Tree!"

"At least - a non-edited version, I suppose." Aberforth sighed a little sadly, eyeing Cedrella Black's picture a little sadly, which featured her future husband in the background looking stunned that his girlfriend had done what he couldn't.

"But hey, life goes on. S'not my problem. Can I interest you in another free drink?" Aberforth said, seeming to snap himself out of his stupor of sentimentality.

"Sure, why not?" Hagrid said as he pulled out a booth so he could face the bar, which creaked in protest as he sat himself down. "Aside from tendin' the grounds, it's been a bit of a slow week, and I am a winner. I can always go to Halloween dinner next year. 'Nother round!"

Thank you so much for reading! Be sure to review, it really does make my day! ;-)

In reference to the last chapter's riddle:

Hagrid DOES appear in every book and film (played by the incomparable Robbie Coltrane)

He was a red herring as the heir of Slytherin in Chamber of Secrets

His younger version appears in Riddle's Diary in Chamber of Secrets

Has a unique "giant" figure based on his likeness

From Prisoner of Azkaban onwards Hagrid taught as the Care of Magical Creatures professor

Hagrid's plots, at least from what I've seen based on fan reactions, can range to positive such as Buckbeak's trial and pretty much anything he touches in Sorcerer's Stone and Chamber of Secrets, to somewhat mixed such as his thing with Madame Maxime in Goblet of Fire, the chapter "Hagrid's Tale" (I personally love it) and the introduction to Grawp in Order of The Phoenix in general. That and his fairly muted presence in Half-Blood Prince and Deathly Hallows and you get a character that has a really strong start but you kind of get the sense that J.K. had a difficult time making relevant as the scope and needs of the series expanded. I still love that big ol' lovable oaf though, and writing for him for the first time was a real treat, especially playing him off Aberforth.

Who's Next? Riddle Me This:

This character is not what they appear… Is above the whole "Gryffindor and Slytherin are the only two houses, rah rah rah" thing… Is well known for dressing strangely... Has a VERY recognizable face… Has a famous catchphrase… Is familiar with werewolves... Has a bad history with Snape… And - this is a big one - was hired to teach Defense Against The Dark Arts. GIVE UP?!