My God.

Reviews?!

...I was not anticipating that.

I thought I would lose you all for sure...

Honestly... are you all being... sarcastic or something and I'm just not smart enough to get it? LOL.

Seriously though... I am shocked.

Not to belabor this introductory section, but I feel as though this format is conducive for a embarrassing and self-indulgent disclosure, (but I do have a obscure need to make a fool of myself as evidenced by my writing, so why not?) I started Golden Boy, expecting it to sink like a stone...for obvious reasons...and between the anxiety, struggle and incredulity of writing it, I ultimately thought,'ah, nobody will care, I'll just post it anyways ',assuming it'd be ignored, or if I did get happen to get any response, it'd be extremely negative... So... for people to have read it, and reacted like they have...(even after the last crazy chapters ) I'm amazed- and humbled and touched...and surprised. From the bottom of my heart: Thank you all so much. I love you guys. I can't say it enough. Gratitude doesn't even begin to cover how I feel about you lending me your time, favs & follows ,encouragement and insights, but know I'm always humbled to receive them, and how lucky I am to have them. I do this for you. I know there are a lot of mistakes in this fic... and to call this story 'boot-leg 8-bit 'quality would be a understatement, but as I'm just too damned stupid to give up and it seems the general consensus is to continue?, I might as well keep on grappling with this ungodly mess because I've already gone this far right?

But ENOUGH excruciating rambling, the TRIGGER WARNING for this chapter includes: depiction of mental illness, hoarding, social anxiety, a potential medical emergency, generational conflict, mention of a parent physically hitting and humiliating a child.

And as always REVIEWERS, I will personally thank and respond to your reviews because each one of you are to be acknowledged and celebrated:

Hellsbunny: I love your username and I'm so thrilled and delighted that I have you as my reader! Thank you so much for your lovely review and for supporting me as I take this creative risk! Your kind words mean so much to me and your positivity does not only just keep me going with this story- it reminds me why I began it in the first place. I write not only because I'm a fan of Gravitation, but to hopefully create an original and exciting story for someone to enjoy or be engaged in, so it is a real honor and a pleasure to hear that you've enjoyed and are invested in this fic. It feels so fulfilling that I could add to your day or night somehow and I hope that you will keep reading even if you have to wait until after work to do so ;)! I hope I didn't keep you waiting too long for this chapter and that I can keep you excited for whatever comes ahead as I keep on keeping on for you. Much love to you my friend!

SunnyDe- I was ecstatic to get a review from you SunnyDe and I am so happy to hear what you're extracting and enjoying about this story, yeauhhhh! XD Most of all, I especially value hearing feedback that can improve my writing too-so thank you so much! That's the whole purpose to post online because you can have that immediate and honest exchange with your readers,and you can discuss about the developments in the story together... and I can't wait to do that with you ;) As for the exchange with Hiro, I did want to pose an kind of moral dilemma with his ' offer 'to Shuichi, and I was curious to know what readers would think. I do like to try to create stories that allow room for those kinds of discussions and I very much liked hearing your perspective and getting to know what you conjecture what is going on 'behind the scenes'. And I completely get what you're saying about Taki- and I got you too, I appreciate it, and appreciate you for saying it ...Taki cat- and mousing Shuichi and scoping him out and all-out bragging may have been just too much and draggy as hell...Sorry about that and I'm glad you got through it. Honestly, there's a lot of stuff in Golden Boy that I wish I could go back to correct or change ...so many regrets LOL. But I'm always dissatisfied with my writing, and I always re-read it later and yell at myself, 'argh %&^*&$ why did I do that?' or 'damnit, I need to fix that up.' I want to be do best I can while still growing as a writer and not losing my nerve LOL. Thanks for being patient and for bearing with my struggles- I hope I can keep you interested in Taki's character in a believable way and ASK and what role they might play in the story's progression. You mention the lack of romanticism between Shuichi and Eiri, which is part of why I'm surprised that people have responded with such open-mindedness to this fic, given that the romantic and sexual connection between them is pretty much assumed and expected - but I hope to introduce that element of the unexpected into this AU- so I can't say anything about that... yet. Mwa-haha. You also mentioned about reading about Eiri's hoarding disorder. The fact that Eiri is stripped of all his glamorous' qualities - as a isolated hoarder literally entrenched in his illness,brings a different tone and whole another sadder and darker element to this fic, which I thought people would shun with a vengeance, so the fact that this issue can be explored and people want to read more about it, once again I'm really grateful that you all are willing to take on that more unusual interpretation with me. And yes, of course, obligatory scarrrrrry Eiriiii, LOL. Let's give an big appreciative nod to that classic fan-fic trope everywhere, can't venture too far from that! Anyways, I am deeply appreciating of your readership and support and hearing from you always makes my day sunnier. Hope to hear about this next chapter if you have time and much love.

Bakayaro Onna- A thousand thanks for making my wishes come true by reviewing twice! I was delirious with joy -I felt like I won the review lotto LOL. You know how I rightfully bow to you and treasure you and your precious thoughts- and sorry because I tried to be concise as possible but my response to you is going to be long, so maybe you should grab yourself a Pepsi ,and get yourself comfy baby because this is gonna take a while LOL. I got to admit: writing that fight scene in ch. 5 was tough. I think it was because as much as Hiro and Shuichi hurt each other in their fight, they hurt themselves in the process too. The physical altercation almost seemed like an after-effect to a emotionally brutal exchange - and there's a saying that a fight can only really hurt when it's with people you care about, as they know what pushes your buttons and there's something at stake, and I wanted to get across that Hiro and Shu weren't holding back for that reason. Also thank you so much for your help with my appalling spelling mistakes... I need all of the help I can get there. And I apologize, I can't do it... by that I mean I ...cannot spell weird. Its so weird isn't it, ha ha? (Yeah. Collective groan, boos and hisses, flaming javelins in my direction! Come at me ff net. that's right, end my misery! ) I'm pathetic, I admit it ...but I can't...while reading about the weird beige neighbor... you should have seen the expression on my face, the utter bewilderment and confusion on it... what?! Were you speaking... french?! Even now, reading it again, I ...still don't get it LOL. As you can probably gleam ...I don't have the brightest lighthouse of a intellect, so please keep helping me with all my eye-bleedingly easily avoidable mistakes as I'm certain there will be many more of them...and please don't give up on me though I'm clearly hopeless... And I don't know why I'm so mean to Shuichi ...the poor guy! He did nothing to deserve this. I know readers probably want to straight up throttle me for what I've done to him lately (or just want to throttle me XD) and I don't blame them. This story tortures him just as it tortures its poor unsuspecting readers. I feel terrible putting Shuichi through all this, because I love his character but I love you readers as well and yeah, sorry to subject you to ..whatever this is ... And this was my first time fully portraying Taki Aizawa and Ask too. I wanted to push myself as a writer there and for that encounter to serve as a kick to the already derailed story cart. I've always felt the need to profile Taki's character in an more in-depth way but I admit ...it was a painful process delving into his disturbed mindset. Later I was concerned that the threatening nature of the situation and with the sheer ugliness and offensiveness of Taki's dialogue might have been triggering and upsetting for some readers...so I raised the rating of the story and tried to warn everybody beforehand... but I'm very glad you got through it. Thank you for your positive feedback because it wasn't easy for me to write and I know it wasn't easy to read either.. I'm sorry about the skin-crawling reaction -I wish I could send you some soup digitally to clear that up. I'll try pouring some boiling hot soup over my keyboard, that ought to work! LOL. And God... you're talented . A extraordinary writer and an artist in every sense. And somebody with goals...and with a rich vocabulary too. I know this may sound ... funny to say, but it was just so lovely to hear that about you (I love art and artists). If I were you, I'd just be basking in my own glow, blowing my own mind, congratulating my self on that. I know you're extremely busy, but I love to read anything you'd post and I'm just so happy to hear that you feel inspired to create more of your gorgeous gorgeous writing! If my scrawling somehow played some part in that, mission accomplished... but honestly, I don't see how. Maybe like a conscientious objector type thing ? I could just imagine you reading my shit groaning "No, god, make it stop- thats it, I must write - as an antidote to this joker!' LOL If you find yourself with the time... do not withhold your splendor from our sight! Your stories and your creativity are amazing , and on another level, your own level, the god-level, and honestly the real reason I have not reviewed your brilliant work is ... because ... (arghhhh,this is mortifying but entirely the truth) is sheer cowardice, I didn't want to expose how ineloquent I am -in regard to praise- and didn't want to embarrass myself when I reveal what an imbecile I am in front of you..but it's far too late, it must be well known to you by now. Lol.I'll wait however long and be first to read whatever you write. Much love and admiration to you my inspiring friend.

Kateriarellano2- I'm so appreciative of you because you are always so amazingly positive and encouraging in your frequent reviews, and you have been so supportive throughout and since the very start! I'm always so happy to see a reader like you return and that I can have the privilege to create something for your enjoyment. So yay, thank you and love forever!

ShekiahLover- I can't even express my adoration of your feedback and of you! Your review was so wonderful and had me so gobsmacked with flattery, I want to take it, have it written in calligraphic script, and frame it! What have I done to deserve your beautiful favor you fantastic angel of ff. net ?!Why are you so good to me?! LOL. As you said- I do want to keep this story 'fresh' and unexpected, like you never know what might happen, and having to make new assessments with the characters. Likewise, I like how you recognize how Ayaka and Fuijisaki would deserve an apology from Shuichi- but that there's also a difference between wanting an apology- and wanting somebody's wholesale degradation. I always appreciate and admire how you have empathy for both sides and are always compassionate, perceptive and fair in your assessments. Thats my favorite thing about your reviews besides just how well-written, observant and thoughtful they are. :) Now you got me reviewing how much I love your reviews and you! ;) It was invigorating and a little scary re-interpreting Taki Aizawa and the re-imagined Ask dynamic, but every character has been drastically 're-vamped' for the purposes of this story and I'm really glad readers are giving me that lee way to do that. Especially since Taki and Ask were not an expected appearance. I've never written anything specifically about Taki or Ask before, and often I've felt like you're not really 'permitted' to examine Taki's background or motives in fics(because he's just used as a catalysis or a plot device) , or to reconstruct Taki ' bad-guy' role- (sometimes it seems like Taki's instantly sexualized, bashed or rehabilitated- or all three, not necessarily in that order lol). Likewise, it's true that even 'villians' can exhibit heroic' or charismatic qualities-and have a compelling story, that is if you even want to call Taki a villain at this point! Taki's ruthless' attitude and his completely un-idealistic philosophy on life, as reprehensible and repulsive as it is, can also be a rallying cry against victimization, and a empowering message too. I'll definitely take your advice about Taki's dialogue and space it out. I have to go back and edit a lot! I know how annoying and frustrating it can be when text is claustrophobic, or overcrowded. And I'm so happy you noticed the part with Eiri's new glasses! So happy! (You're the only one who mentioned that ,you know that?! ) And truthfully writing the parts about Eiri's hoarding are always the saddest parts for me - and it only grows tougher as the story goes on, but you and readers like you have given me that push and strength to continue so... thank you and I'm so glad that I can keep going for you and hopefully please you! Much love and warm wishes.

Aisha-Yan- Ayeeeeee, welcome back my buddy! Return to that good sweet old-school Gravitation love, because don't you know this fandom is like the mafia- just when you think you're out of it, it pulls you back in ?! Haha ! I was just stoked about your review , thank you for taking the time to let me know your fantastic thoughts! It made me even happier that this rather unusual story could make the re-visit to this section worthwhile. That's makes me it all worthwhile for me! I hope you enjoy this chapter and that you keep coming back you beautiful reader you & love ya.

Morlana- Thank you so much for your lovely review baby but awww... I'm so sorry to make you cry! I wish I could take those tears away. :( Oh god, why am I always making people cry with my writing?! Is it that terrible?! Argh, what is wrong with me?!I know what you're saying about Hiro and no, you aren't mean! Not in the slightest.. I think Shuichi would feel the exact same way as you do, and it's only natural to want things to get better for him. His focus on Yuki may be a part of that... it means so much that you shared your thoughts and feelings about this unique story. Thank you for being so extraordinarily kind and encouraging me on this journey. People like you keep me writing...much love...


They both stare at the door

"No!" Shuichi erupts. " I didn't tell them anything! I didn't mean to-"

Eiri clamps a hand over Shuichi's mouth.

"Shut up." Eiri whispers harshly in Shuichi's ear. "They can hear us."

They both stare at the door. Eiri's hand pressed hard and firm over his nose and mouth.

There is a brief second of reprieve.

Nothing happens.

Then a thunderous boom.

The door is pounded.

Harder and harder.

Until it is kicked against its hinges.

Shuichi flinches and trembles uncontrollably, his back pressed tightly against Eiri's chest.

Breathing raggedly agianst Eiri's calloused palm.

And the other man's breathing close to his ear, is just as sharp and rapid as his own.

The next thing that Shuichi is aware of is that he being pulled, dragged backward.

Eiri walks them both through the refuse.

At certain points Shuichi stumbles over something, only to have Eiri 're-right him on his feet and bat, thrust him onwards.

Without a word, Shuichi is shoved roughly in to a bathroom.

Not only does it reek, the bathroom is as crammed with things as everywhere else in the apartment.

Except for a small circumference around the toilet.

Even the sink is piled up and full.

Shuichi attempts to scramble himself back up.

Eiri only pushes him back in.

"What are you doing?!" Shuichi hisses back at the older man.

Eiri silently starts to close the bathroom door on him

Shuichi attempts to rush the door, pulling back on it with all his body weight.

"Don't Mr. Uesugi- I can't let you face them just by yourself-!" Shuichi gasps and tugs other side if it by the knob. "Please! Don't go out there!"

Eiri pushes him roughly by the forehead back in.

Shuichi falls backwards, crashing and collapsing backwards through a dingy streaked curtain (and nearly taking the curtain down with him) painfully into a shower stall full of junk, books and boxes, tumbling them over on himself.

Eiri points at him.

" Don't move. Don't open the door. Don't. Do. It. Don't even think about it." Eiri growls, under his breath. "Or you're dead."

He slams the door.

Winded, Shuichi lays there, covered with refuse, and thinks about it.

Paralyzed.

After hearing that, he considers: it's a possibility that he is no safer, or better out there with Ask in the hallway then he is trapped in here with Eiri Uesugi.

He stops. Tries to listen.

Tries not to look around himself.

For an eternity of minutes (or seconds), Shuichi sits there silently and still as possible. Too afraid to think. Or breathe.

He hears nothing. He can't imagine what is happening on the other side of the door.

He doesn't know what will happen.

He doesn't even want to know.

It was not long ago at all ,Shuichi realizes, in this epoch of suspense, he had once had a decent and normal existence.

He had had a job, a best friend, his safety intact.

If he presently had the luxury of reflection, he might have envied that unknowing person he was a few days before.

Staring at the ceiling, he never anticipated that he'd be here in this position. That anything like this could remotely happen to him.

He never anticipated it was possible. To even feel this way.

Like reality is unravelling.

Like his brain is on fire and every molecule in him wants to scream and flee from his body and consciousness and join another's, begin again, somewhere, anywhere else.

When the door swings opens, Shuichi flinches. Prepares himself for the worst.

Protects his face and head with his hands. Still sprawled out in the mass of books.

Hesitantly, (still trembling) he looks up.

Its Eiri. Barefaced.

He says. "...They're gone."

"They are? They left?! Are you alright Mr. Uesugi? " Shuichi gasps. " They didn't ... do anything to you did they?!"

"Why would they." Eiri sighs. He puts his new glasses back on from his pocket. He casts something that looks like a two by four in his other hand aside with a clunk. "And what could they do."

Shuichi lets his face fall into his hands.

Overwhelmed.

That sickening terror from earlier is unable to subside. That stupid infuriating helpless feeling of being less-than upon him again.

Powerlessness. Confusion.

Of being out-matched... out-manned - by both Hiro -and now by Taki- Taki's horrible voice and grin and laugh still razing his senses, like a sucking wound to his mind.

And the realization driven in him like a stake through his chest: that he left Eiri to face whatever was behind the door by himself.

Shuichi moans into his hands. "You must think I'm ...such a... coward."

"I don't care enough about you ...to presume what you are." Eiri Uesugi snaps. "You ... helped ... me. ...I did you a favor. Now ...we're even."

Shuichi looks up. Face crumpled. Eyes welling with tears.

The older man smacks the side of a doorway. Like how you might shoo a dog. "Now go on. Get up brat. "

Instead Shuichi folds in on himself.

"Come on. Get your ass going. You can leave now. No one will bother you on the way out." He hears the former writer instruct impatiently above him. " Hurry up. I don't have all day here."

"No. I can't- "Shuichi chokes. "I can't... just leave you here"

He hears Eiri growl."Then if you won't go willingly- I'll take you out."

When Shuichi sits there, still, tearful and despondent, until the older man gathers Shuichi by the arms.

Launches him up onto his feet and pushes him roughly forward.

"Go the back way out- no one will see you." Eiri snarls. "And don't come back-"

"-NO-NO stop- ! Your shower is full of books." Springing into action, Shuichi responds with wild protests. A torrent of tears gushing freely down his face. Pushing back as Eiri starts to drag him out by under his (still wet) arm-pits and by around his mid section. "How do you... take a shower?!"

"Use the sink." Eiri grunts.

"NO! NO! NO! That's not ... good!" Shuichi gasps and struggles in the other man's crushing grip. Arms flailing and kicking, growling crazily with exertion, he grabs the bathroom doorway and clawing his way back in- frantically tries to grab a book on the way out. " You helped me-so let me at least... move the books out so you can use it!"

" Don't bother. The shower doesn't work properly! " Eiri snarls agitatedly,grasping and pulling Shuichi out harder until the younger man is lifted up, elbowing, and kicking off the ground. "And LET GO OF IT- !" Incensed,he rips the the book from Shuichi's hand."What I'd tell you- about touching my things!"

In the process of the book being torn away,Shuichi accidently elbows him in the side of the face.

Falling back, once hit, Eiri stops speaking- and staggers away .

To lean against the door way. Forearm over his eyes. His face deathly ashen.

"Mr. Uesugi." Shuichi says alarmed. He wipes his dripping snot and tear-wet face on his fore-arm. ".Did I hit you-?! What's wrong? You alright?!"

"Its... nothing" Eiri pants. His forehead and one of his palms pressed against the bathroom doorway. "...Its your ...carrying on brat... its... giving me a - a- "

Eiri's knees suddenly buckles.

He begins to tilt forward. Eyes rolling back.

He collapses.

With a grunt of impact, Shuichi launches forward and catches an armful of the former writer's slack form, his blonde scraggly head falling limply in the crook of his neck.

"WOAH- you're alright! I got you!" Shuichi cries out. Not knowing what else to say. He stumbles to press them both against the bathroom door way, and bears the dead-weight of the fainted man in his arms and upper- half. "Its OK! I got you, I got you-"

It's not the truth.

Terrified, Shuichi has no idea what to do now.

Or in any medical emergency.

He doesn't know how long he can support the other man's weight either.

'Ah God! What do I do. What do I do?!' Shuichi thinks in a panicked mantra, the two of them tilting and listing to one side like a sinking ship, Eiri still unconscious, slumped and slipping down in his arms. 'What do I do?What do I do?!'

Just before Shuichi can panic entirely or drop him...

Eiri stirs.

Shuichi nearly shouts out loud in relief.

Attempts to help Eiri upright himself.

The former writer, meanwhile coughs, doubled over. Tries to elbows him away. "No. Back ...off me... Don't... touch me. I'm... fine. I ...just need a cigarette."

"Thats the last thing you need!" Shuichi tries to grab Eiri again by his forearm again, his other hand futiley hovering over him, in an attempt to keep him still. " And I already told you to smoke outside!"

"Like I'm going to ... listen to you. " Eiri smacks his hands away. " Get out of my goddamn face brat."

"Fine ,I'll give you some air- but you don't need to smoke. " Shuichi retorts. "Let me just walk you to your chair, come on-!"

Finally Eiri stops struggling. Panting again, hands on his knees.

Shuichi uses this as the opportune tiime to sling Eiri's arm over his shoulder.

With only slight resistance, he unsteadily helps walk Eiri to his chair. Nearly falling down several times on the narrow precarious path and taking Eiri with him.

Breathless, he helps him sit down.

Shuichi doesn't know what to do now.

Remembering regrettably that mad image from earlier, of somehow knocking unconscious and heroically carrying Eiri out and inwardly swears at himself. Some plan!

He then wants to zip off his hoodie to swing around the other man's shoulders, but he's not wearing a hoodie today. He considers fanning the other man with his hands, but thinks better of it. Not knowing what good that would do. But figuring it'd be considered annoying.

"Wait." The younger man gulps, eyes slightly wet, and throat still raw. "I'll try and find you some water..."

Shuichi suddenly remembers his plastic bag of food he brought, lying abandoned somewhere on the floor during the earlier panic. To possibly distract Eiri from wanting cigarettes. " Hold on- I brought some food too."

Shuichi then- darting carefully around, manages to find the plastic bag.

It had fallen near where they had both been standing while the door had been railed on.

He -sheepishly- brings it over. Deciding the take away lunch in it might still be alright, given most of the food were in their own containers.

He hands Eiri a bottle of water, that was included from it, which he ignores.

Shuichi then offers the bag itself to him.

"No." Eiri growls. Pushes the bag away. "I told you...Don't take handouts."

"Its not that. Its... was for myself. I just so happened to bring alot." Shuichi lies. "...And it's not a handout. Its... payback ...for doing me a solid right now."

He mutters. "I'm not going to poison you or anything."

Shuichi grabs the frist thing he can easily get out the bag. It's an onigiri with an ume filling. "See?"

Although the odious smell of the room makes it difficult to eat, Shuichi peels off the plastic off the seaweed and bites into one.

Trying not to heave, he finishes it under Eiri's churlish gaze.

"See. There's ... also a whole bunch of onigiri in there, with different fillings- nozawana, tuna, cod roe - sorry, I just ate the umeboshi one. but there's probably another kind you want." He says jittery, grabbing another onigiri and offering one forth to Eiri, trembling hand outspread."...Do you... uh...want one?"

The older man continues to stare at Shuichi resentfully.

Seeing Eiri has no intention of taking it, flustered, Shuichi puts it back in the bag.

"...Maybe that's not your thing. I didn't know if you were into... western food or something else... but I also got a tonkatsu set with rice, I know it's basic but I figured it was pretty safe ...nobody dislikes that...at least I never met anyone who doesn't. It might be cold and messed up by now because I dropped it...but there is a salad in there. Some pickles. "Shuichi goes on apologetically, looking in the bag, now slightly perplexed and embarrassed by the amount of food he bought. "A soup-"

Eiri pushes the bag further aside again.

Not giving up, Shuichi takes out a box from the bottom.

"...What's that." Eiri stares at a small clear box Shuichi takes out.

"That's ... a strawberry short cake." Shuichi mumbles. "...It came extra."

Without exposition, Eiri snatches the box out of Shuichi's hands.

He claws the box open, and throws the lid aside, ignoring the disposable fork that came with it.

He grabs the ludicrous pink cake with his fingers and then crams as much as he can fit in his mouth.

Its surreal.

Watching the once 'golden boy' eat. More like wolfishly scarfing the cake down. Crumbs and frosting on his lips and beard, the cream and filling smeared all over his fingers. Which he nosily licks off.

And apparently, Shuichi thinks, even more absurdly, he now knows Eiri Yuki has a sweet tooth.

Eiri glares at him." What the hell are you looking at."

"...You have... something on your face." Shuichi utters.

Eiri finishes the rest of the cake. Does nothing to clean the crumbs or frosting off.

"...You can't stay here." Shuichi finally says.

"No. As soon as I catch my breath... You're leaving. " Eiri huffs. " I'm not going anywhere."

"But I just... can't ...leave you here." Shuichi says hoarsely. "You ...look terrible."

Eiri glowers at him.

" I mean ... You're not in good health. You're ...coughing all time! You just ...passed out right now." Shuichi says worriedly. "I'm sorry but... I think I should take you to the hospital."

"I'm not going anywhere- let alone to any... fucking hospital- No. I'm not having to fill out forms... having... people examine and prod at me ... like I'm a cadaver in an autopsy." Eiri coughs gutturally . "Those places... are miserable... death traps."

"...Then what do you call this place?!" Shuichi gapes.

"This place is my home." Eiri says. " By... choice and necessity."

" ...What do you mean by that? " Shuichi says confusedly.

The other man only looks away.

"I'm sorry to ask you... but don't you... have any ...money ?" Shuichi asks cautiously.

"Does it look like I have any goddamn money brat." Eiri says with a forlorn expression.

"But what... happened to it?!" Shuichi blurts out.

The former writer puts his head in his hands . "... I've been asking that myself."

Shuichi exclaims. "Then - if you're ... strapped for cash, why don't... you take some of what you have, and sell some of your...collection?"

He thinks: having Yuki look through what around him, could be a away of getting it clean. And it is possible that some of the things lying around could be salvageable.

"No." The older man shakes his head. "...I...can't do that."

"But why? You can't even get to and see everything you got. Nobody could read all these books and even use half of what you have." Shuichi argues, gesturing to what's around them. " So why do you have so much... of everything?!"

Eiri says pointblank. "...I might need it."

Shuichi looks at him, at a lost for words.

He tries another track.

" But .. haven't you've been working all this time, and writing all that... stuff for yourself? Why don't you just take it and make it into a book?" Shuichi exclaims." Somebody ... out there will publish it and pay you money for that!"

"No." The former writer declares with bleak determination, head still in hands. "...I'm not... selling... anything of myself anymore."

"But you're a writer! That's what writers do! Write for money!" Shuichi snarls in frustration.

Eiri just stares ahead sadly.

"And think about all your fans!" Shuichi growls, haplessly thinking of the awful and ominous thought of Ayaka. Her teenage obession with the writer- now something laughable to her- and wonders how it's possible that someone could go from loving and believing in something so ardently, to ridiculing or discounting it altogether. " All your fans ... who remember you would go crazy! They loved that book, they made fan clubs for you, they even waited hours in line -just to get a chance to see you! And they've been waiting for YEARS for something new of yours to drop!"

If possible, Eiri looks even more dissuaded and discouraged.

"...I...used to write... and what I've produced ...isn't up to my standard. I don't write for the fans... or for anyone's... approval. I'm not releasing... inferior material... for any reason. I won't ...churn my work... out like a machine or have it forcibly wrung out of me ...like it's threadbare entertainment fodder... to be consumed in the void of ... inconsequential stimulus. I rather do nothing ...than ...something... sloppy and half-assed. And too much time... has passed. I've lost...momentum. No one... cares... no one remembers anymore. Assuming there was some interest, which I doubt there is ... there isn't no one out there who... deserves to see it.I have no desire to compromise myself to pander to ... idiots. I 've... given enough of myself to them already." Eiri says with a bereft expression.

Shuichi gawks at him.

"...That's the DUMBEST thing I ever heard! " Shuichi shouts. " But you can't be THAT STUPID! Weren't you supposed to be a... genius or something ?!

"... I ...resent that definition." Eiri mumbles, blunt and bitter. "The term ... is overused. Debased. A prefabrication of a preexisting paradigms... Moreover, its a meaningless and subjective accolade, like a... strangulating costume, another manipulative gimmick to sell more books like.. the manufacturing of cheap shock value for promotional purposes or calling the latest calculated money-grab a 'masterpiece'... masterpiece. There's no such thing anymore. Do... you see the execrable tripe they publish, the... regurgitations of the same stultifying formulas they push...the talentless fraudsters they laud these days? ... Calling someone ... anything has nothing to do with ...actual achievement, not when all art-forms- be it literature or anything else- prioritizes and is driven by a mercantile criteria or assessed by its marketability, rather than by its content or anything substantive. And whatever popularity it garners can't help but bias... it's reception. Once an art object or personality reaches a certain critical success... it hides behind it. It's notoriety becomes its own end and appeal. And once somebody arbitrary anoits someone a ' genius' or some other novelty buzz word...everyone jumps on the bandwagon like a ... disposable party hat ...that they pass along."

Shuichi stares at him, completely agog.

" More importantly," The former writer says wearily, hand fisted in his dirty hair. " I... have to maintain my integrity. "

"...Integrity?!WHO CARES?! " Shuichi shouts. "Look at where you are!"

"... What would be preferable? That I be ...peddling some... pretentious-trash romance novels, to make up in sheer profligacy what the work lacks ...in quality, so I could drive some ... ugly lemon Mercedes and live in cold penthouse apartment... posing with my designer shirt open like some...snake-waisted gigolo... bedding scores of desperate women in adherence to some ...degenerative tiresome cliché ?' Eiri looks revolted. " How... repugnant. I ... got better things to do with my time."

"And THIS is better?! " Shuichi snorts.

"Yeah." Eiri grunts. Arms crossed. "I think so."

Shuichi cries. "Everything you just said doesn't make sense... and it all sounds like a big...snobby excuse so you can give up-and don't have to get up or change anything!"

The former writer stares up blearily at him.

"And what are your proving by doing this instead?" Shuichi accuses him.

"And what are you proving by coming here ? You're not doing anyone any favors coming here because your Bad Luck group...didn't work out. By your own reasoning, you should still be making ... your undoubtedly... rancid and incompetent music regardless... of what happened to you.. " Eiri sighs.

"Woah." Shuichi's eyes widen. "...You were listening yesterday?"

The author sneers. "You wouldn't shut up. "

Shuichi cringes, now embarrassed. "... Aw man...You... heard it all?"

"About your various setbacks and your intelligent friend who is probably studying to be a doctor-and your contentious relationship with your father- and your fatuous sense of destiny." Eiri mutters. "...Yes... Regrettably... I heard it all."

Shuichi's eyes narrow. "...Do you remember, what was my mix-tape's name?"

"Take your chances with Bad Luck." Eiri grumbles. "And you were right. It is a terrible title."

"Damn." Shuichi says slack jacked. "...You really ...were listening."

"...Thats... not ...the... point brat." Eiri rolls his eyes, and drags his hands over his knotted face. He starts to look like he's physically suffering, just by trying to continue this conversation. "This isn't the kind of place you can made your heartfelt confessions and mourn your broken dreams in the goddamn hallway, understand?"

"Oh yeah, if you hate me so much, why did you hide me from Ask just now?! " Shuichi snaps.

Eiri turns to him.

He breathes hard. "Listen to me. Or are you even capable of doing that?"

Shuichi looks at him.

"You ... don't... understand, do you?" Eiri looks horrified, and also almost in awe. "How can you be so mentally deficient... and manage to stay alive?"

Shuichi answers honestly. "...I do the best I can "

The older blonde man looks even more amazed and flabbergasted." It was a rhetorical question...you fucking idiot."

"Hey." Shuichi protests in a small voice. " I don't like being ...talked down to. And don't call me that-"

Eiri grabs Shuichi by the collar of his T-shirt. Pulls him towards him.

Giving Shuichi no room to lean back, or take a step away, as his instinct would have it.

" Why I shouldn't I. That's exactly what you are." Eiri says, cold stare boring in him. " And there is no other way anyone with even an marginal intellect ...can make themselves comprehensible to you. I'd...might think... you were ... malicious, if you weren't so obviously... incapable of the higher functioning that malice requires."

Shuichi stares back, mouth open.

"...Do you realize ...what you've done?" Eiri demands.

Shuichi says nothing. As he doesn't.

"You realize...by being seen and scoped out by Taki.. if they know you come here frequently- you've created... an association between us. If they see you in here, or find you loitering outside in the hallway, they'll know you know... something about me or they'll gleam that you... have some... .. connection to me somehow." Eiri grits with a crazed gleam in his eye. " Something that they can use."

The older man somehow leans in closer. Close enough to taste each others breath.

"You don't know... how far this goes. Or do you need to see it?" Eiri asks, voice frayed.

"...What do you mean." Shuichi says in a tiny voice.

"You do. You asked for it." Eiri looks terrifyingly urgent. Half-frightened himself. "Now you'll get it."

Eiri stands up from his chair. Rising to be, as Shuichi is reminded, much taller than him. Fist still twisted in his shirt.

Shuichi then remembers what Eiri said.

About Taki being afraid of him.

Thats it. This means:, Shuichi reaches the inevitable conclusion in catatonic horror as Eiri grabs him and starts to pull him downwards. This insane ...hoarder guy is mad at me - and wants to make me disappear. I escaped Taki - just to end up like this. I'm 20 years old and this is how I'm gonna die. In this terrible place. They'll never even find me.

And worst of all, Shuichi thinks; probably no one will miss him.

He covers his face with his hand, anticipating pain. A finishing blow.

Instead, nothing happens.

Except, he is pulled down onto Eiri Uesugi's arm chair.

"Stand up on it." He hears the older man whisper.

Completely afraid and blank with confusion , Shuichi shakily does. Placing both feet- one each on each beat-up armrest. Wobbling. Keeping a tentative balance.

"Look." He hears Eiri says.

Shuichi near falls to his knees when he sees.

Near screams in pure horror.

"..OH MY GOD!" Shuichi shouts uncontrollably, nearly falling down against Eiri's shoulder besides him.

He can see, by standing on the chair, there is a connecting, doorway- into the next 'apartment' next to his.

Although, the doorway is barely visible past all the other piled up hoarding of this unit.

From what little he sees, Shuichi can tell:

The connected unit is also full.

"...There's...MORE?!" Shuichi shrieks unbelievingly.

" This is what I do...When a unit is full... I acquire the connecting unit- and I start again." The writer says near inaudibly.

Shuichi cannot bear to look anymore.

Slowly ,he sinks down. Into a curled, crouching position on the chair. Forearm over his mouth.

Fearing he might actually vomit.

In that moment, Shuichi regrets everything.

He regrets the job that lead him to 'meeting' Eiri Uesugi.

He regrets coming back, demanding an explanation for his treatment.

He regrets coming back- again to apologize. And again-and this time too.

Each time just increasing the need to come back.

He even regrets seeing the Golden Boy on the book jacket.

"Why." Shuichi closes his eyes tight, and shudders. " Why did you show me this?"

"You wanted to see my collection?" Eiri rasps. " Isn't this what you wanted? Take a good look then."

Shuichi turns to look at Eiri instead. His hands gripped in his own pink hair. Rocking back and forth slightly. Mouth trembling. Eyes red and enormous.

"..This isn't a game or an exciting afternoon excursion for you ...This area... isn't your playground or a theme park. There's no... space here for some dithering irresponsible brat who's not cognizant of his actions and leaves sheer havoc in his wake. This time ...you were ...lucky. Next time... you won't be. I don't know where it is you can go- without causing ... a catastrophe- but you can't come here anymore. And you ...don't know me either. Look around you." The bearded blonde man scans his face up and down desperately. "I could be worse then...Ask are. "

"No you're not. " Shuichi says back at him hoarsely. "..You're not... bad Mr. Uesugi... I just think you're... really... ill. "

Eiri stares at him with that same stricken blank expression.

The same one when he saved him from the fire.

"And you ...need help." He swallows.

"...Maybe...you think." Eiri says finally, softly. "...But not from you."

"Why... not me. " Shuichi chatters. Stepping off the chair. Head spinning. " I'm...here, aren't I? Who else... do you got? Can't I... t-try at least?.. Am I... Am I not ... good enough or something?"

"You're not good enough for anything as far as I can observe. Being ' here' is not a... qualification..you moron. I rather you be somewhere else, bothering someone else- with the time and wherewithal to handle it. Its... irrelevant anyways. You ... don't owe me or any stranger anything. And why would you try and help anyone... who doesn't desire it or need it? And I don't find your... assertions sound or... credible... behind every seemingly simple and good intent... is something far less benign. Usually a deluded and cowardly ego... craving some... higher cause or validation whether it's warranted or not." Eiri sighs.

Shuichi stares back."...What's that supposed to mean?"

"Haven't ...you considered ...that in trying to help someone... that you ...become the greater burden? " The former author mumbles, adjusting his new glasses on his nose. "Or that you're the one .. with the the deep-seeded... problem?"

Shuichi gapes disbelievingly. "...I'm the one with ... problems?! Look at this!"

"I'm not the one standing here half-drunk with the battered face, who feels needs to continually trespass into somebody's property, and vomit out their life story, now am I?" Eiri growls.

Shuichi looks away.

"...I got in a f-fight with the.. friend ... I told you about... but it wasn't ... my fault. I just... told him the truth and he didn't want to hear it- but if your best friend can't tell you the truth, he's ...worse than your enemy, yeah? I was... just looking out for him... but he didn't see it that way. Then he said ...this stuff about me. I couldn't stand for it. " Shuichi admits weakly. " That's why I look like this. As for my hand... I...punched a wall... because I was mad."

Eiri grits. "Now I've found out that you're an idiot who has nothing else to do but cause trouble and pick fights over... inane adolescent bullshit - and... throw tantrums and punch walls... for no fucking reason."

Shuichi looks down.

Ashamed.

He cannot explain the real reason why he and Hiro fought.

Over him.

"Nothing to say? That's even more pathetic. You don't have the grounds to help anyone . Even if you could... I don't have any plans of... moving anywhere or changing anything soon. I already told you that I don't want anyone's help. I'm a grown man." Eiri says stubbornly. "...I don't want anybody to interfere with ... my plans."

Immediately Shuichi wants to ask what his plans are.

Knowing that won't work, Shuichi tries another route.

"...Who...said anything about interfering?" Shuichi looks down.

He thinks of himself.

"...Don't you ... ever get ... lonely sometimes?" Shuichi asks hesitantly.

Eiri Uesugi looks at him.

Then at the disastrous terrain of his belongings.

"No." Eiri answers. "I have this."

" But all this... is just... stuff. Its not the same as a person." Shuichi swallows. " Or... a friend."

"No it isn't. These things... enrich... my life. " Eiri states simply. "People... don't."

"...Why not?" Shuichi asks.

" I regard the prolonged presence of another human being as an imposition, a burden, or a disaster waiting to happen." Eiri glares straight at him "I haven't been proven wrong yet."

Shuichi grimaces.

"Moreover this... life suits me. " Eiri says.

"You almost DIED a day ago!" Shuichi exclaims.

" Whats the difference. " Eiri remarks.

" Maybe it wouldn't make a difference to you- but it'd sure as HELL would make a difference to ME! " Shuichi shouts.

The older man falls silent.

"You talk about having integrity- I got to have integrity too! Yeah, even a useless piece of crap like me has that! Like when that fire started, I couldn't JUST sit there and let you be burned alive! I had to do something! Thats why I ...came back, not because I wanted to ANNOY you- but because I had to check you weren't ... dead at least! Because if I didn't... help you when I could have- I'd... FEEL responsible-" Shuichi cries. " And I couldn't BEAR to live with that!"

Eiri says quietly. " You're going to have to."

Shuichi erupts, enraged. "What kind of MESSED UP thing is that to say?!"

"I don't give a shit what you can or cannot bear. But is that is what you're doing? " Eiri sighs again, hand over his eyes. "Trying to ...entertain yourself, distract yourself from your... own contemptible life?Does it put it all in perspective for you? Does it make you feel noble to use the plights of others to draw all the attention to yourself like a goddamn parasite? Or are you just that bored? Does this make you feel better about yourself? Is this all over... some book I wrote?"

Shuichi explodes. " NO SEEING THIS doesn't make me FEEL BETTER! And seeing someone else's STRUGGLING or suffering doesn't make feel me GOOD or LUCKY! It doesn't make me want to take advantage of it, or makes me want to use what they're going through to feel high and mighty and LAUGH at THEM! It makes me feel the OPPOSITE! Like I got no power, like I can't DO ANYTHING! AND I HATE IT! And it makes me MAD! REALLY... MAD! AND I don't care if what that makes me- it doesn't give me peace of mind to know there are people out there- LIVING like this, having a HARDER TIME than I AM. In fact, I HATE it even more!"

"AND NO- if you want to know, I don't CARE about YOUR stupid book! I never READ it and I never WILL! " Shuichi barks. " So what if I don't sit around for hours by myself, staring at some BORING words on a page and forcing myself to believe some dumb- ass MADE up story?! I rather spend that time doing something that MATTERS! And who likes to READ anymore, except SNOBS and nerds?! We have computers NOW!"

Eiri frowns at him.

"...I'll do something. I don't know what ...but something ... I'll make... some money. Somehow ." Shuichi cringes into his fist, stepping away, back towards the door. "God- I'll ... I'll even work for my Dad if I have to- even though it'll kill me, damnit, I'll do it... if it's the last thing I'll do, I'll figure out a way to get you out of here- or at least make your situation ...better somehow I promise! I'll make sure nothing bad will happen to you Mr. Uesugi. And I'll figure out a way to handle that bastard Taki too. I'll get him and ASK off your back! I'll do whatever it takes, if I have to!"

And Shuichi thinks: that includes somehow taking care of Hiro and Ayaka too.

"No you won't. Just... go home brat. Haven't you learned your lesson? Haven't... you caused enough problems .. I've... shown you everything now, haven't I. There's nothing more... nothing left to see... So...for the last time... Will you...just leave me alone. Forget about this... Don't come back." Eiri tells him wearily and collapses into his chair.

"I don't DO anything unless I want to! So tough! I'll come back tomorrow!" Shuichi points at the other man.

As he leaves, in the empty hallway, Shuichi sees something that has been scratched on Eiri's door with what looks like a pen knife.

He looks closer.

The words carved into the door read: 'ASK'


When Shuichi comes home that night, both his parents are watching television in silence.

"Shuichi." His mother calls out as Shuichi tries to sneak past to get to his room.

He stops.

His mother looks at Shuichi up and down, frowning. "...What happened to your face?"

His father turns from the television to stare at him also.

He remembers he had been avoiding his parents for that reason.

To avoid providing a explanation for his appearance.

Shuichi stares back at both of them.

He says flatly. "I fell."

They all stare at each other in silence.

"...You told me... you had a lead on a job yesterday." His mother continues, still frowning. "So... what happened with that?"

Another lie.

Shuichi says in a low voice. "I didn't get it."

His mother looks away, disappointedly.

His father sneers. "Why am I not surprised."

That current tone brings up all the similar times with his father.

The put-downs. The tirades. The smacks with the rolled up newspaper. His balled up fist coming down on Shuichi's back. The pinches and smacks to the face.

That one vague bleak memory lurking within Shuichi's consciousness like a dark shadowy form slithering and meandering through deep water, about that time after discovering that Shuichi had simply written in frustration "LAME, LAME, LAME " repeatedly in his notebook instead of proper class notes, when his father as punishment made stand (shoes off) in his garbage can.

And lastly his Sakuma poster ripping off his wall

Shuichi's father goes on bitterly."We might as well get prepared to never retire- and call our golden years ruined since we have a directionless son, who after costing us our life savings, can't even take care of us, let alone himself."

His mother murmurs half-heartedly. "...Maybe that's not the most encouraging thing to say to Shuichi -"

"Encouraging? The boy doesn't need any more encouragement. We've given him all the encouragement anyone could want or need. And it's the truth." His father barks in his booming voice and bangs his fist on the coffee table, making the entire table shake. " The boy needs to hear it!"

Shuichi interjects suddenly . "Don't call me that."

His father says in a low voice. "What'd you say boy."

"Don't call me a boy." Shuichi says between his teeth.

"And don't talk about me like I'm not here, when I'm standing right in front of your face Dad."

His father stands up from the sofa. Like a warning.

In response, Shuichi steps forward. Stands up straighter.

"I'm not a boy." Shuichi asserts. "I AM a man."

His father steps up to him.

Grabs his T-shirt collar and pulls him forward.

"OH, You're a man are you?!" His father barks in Shuichi's face. Launching into some variation of 'The Lecture' again. "Oh, you're now the BIG MAN around here huh ?! Say that to me when you start paying your own bills! Say that when you start pulling your weight around here! Say that when you've applied yourself productively or achieved anything we can be proud of! A real man isn't all talk. He takes control of his business! A real man betters himself! He holds onto a job and he works hard at it! He doesn't just GIVE up or CRUMBLE when the pressure's on him! A real man doesn't shun his responsibilities or make excuses, after more excuses - and blames everyone else for his own mistakes! He owns up to them! He takes full advantage of whats been given to him and does even MORE with it! A man isn't a just a self-centered spoiled ineffectual ne'er-do-well! A real man doesn't present himself like AN ingrate and a imbecile, and throw a pity party and SULK like a degenerate- when things don't go his way or when people expect him to conduct himself with TACT and DIGNITY! He doesn't shame his family by tromping in at a late hour, looking and acting like a ... disgrace and talking back to them! A real man has PRIDE! A man's not an embarrassment to himself or others! A man does what's RIGHT! He takes care of his family- and he HONORS them- and he MAKES something with himself-"

And like that, Shuichi snaps.

He tears his father's hands off.

"OH SHUT UP Dad! " Shuichi howls back."I ...already AM something! ...and that's why I don't want to take anymore of YOUR CRAP!"

"Because it isn't true! You don't... tear me down because I have a bad attitude or don't work hard enough! " Shuichi shouts. "All I've ever done is MY BEST! Even if it was washing a plate of lousy dishes, I ALWAYS gave it my all! YEAH, maybe it wasn't good enough, but it was all I GOT! But NO MATTER what I'd do, it'd never be GOOD enough for you! You don't rag on me to HELP Me- because it doesn't HELP me! You TEAR ME DOWN because you're A BULLY ON A POWER TRIP! You think because I can't BE this...MADE-UP PERFECT SON you want- so you tear me down and say its my fault, like I'm some sort of wastrel and I'm no good and I don't try hard enough - when I've ALWAYS had to WORK 10 times harder to do what ALOT of people don't even think about! AND YOU KNOW IT! But I'm SORRY for existing THEN! I'm SORRY for EXISTING in a way that BUMS you out so DAMN MUCH DAD! Sorry that I FLY in the face of that fake old-school CRAP you think! LIke when you TELL ME YOUNG PEOPLE are all lazy, stupid and SELFISH- BUT times are harder for all us kids now, because OLD people like you give us a hard time, and have shortchanged us, and LIED to US, and don't LISTEN to us- you don't even TRY to listen! You all just made the WORLD SUCK for us and you know that too! Why else would the real life be so TOUGH unless you ALL LET US DOWN?! Or maybe - you JUST don't like your OWN life and you're MAD at me because I tried to go for my dreams and you didn't?! And you want to take out that on somebody, and I'm it! Or you're MAD you can't control ANYONE else, SO you get to CONTROL me and because I'm your son and I got no choice but to TAKE IT! Since you raised me because I couldn't do it myself, does that means you get to hold that against me forever, and I have to do everything you SAY like a robot like I got no MIND or life of my own?!WHAT kind of LOUSY deal is that?! I don't GET it! You do nothing but disrespect me and I'm supposed to respect you?! How can I have pride in myself as a man, if you don't treat me like one?! How can I have PRIDE if you treat me like a punching bag and you've never taught me to STICK UP FOR myself?! How can and want to achieve anything - if all my life all you ever done is you've made me feel like dirt and kicked down everything I ever LIKED OR wanted to do ?! How is that FAIR?! HOW IS THAT RIGHT Dad?!"

His father answers him with a punch to his face.

The next thing Shuichi sees,is his father standing above him where he's sprawled out on the floor.

His mother on the sofa, doing nothing

His father looks outraged.

And also stunned.

Possibly at Shuichi or at himself.

"How... dare you... if I ever talked that way to my father- it would have been the last thing I'd ever said." His father says in that same stunned shaken voice. Fist still balled up by his side. "And I've worked too hard and sacrificed too much ...for my own son ...who lives under my roof ...to speak... to me that way."

Shuichi then sits up.

"...Soon you won't have to." Shuichi pants, legs spread before him. "I'll ...move out soon."

"Good ...because your mother and I can't bear the sight of you anymore." Shuichi's father croaks.

Before a statement like that might have devastated him.

Instead, Shuichi picks himself up, and brushes himself off.

He walks to his room.

Collapses face-first on his bed-spread.

And sleeps like he's dead.

The last word he thinks before he does is 'Yuki'.