Warmth in the Winter

Chapter seven:

I don't own anything, not the story, the characters, the setting, or anything.

{The Quotes will never have anything to actually do with the story, they are just there}

Quote: "The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do."

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Sam refused to leave Dean's side unless someone was in the room for another few hours.

"How long until he wakes up?" he asked the doctor once he walked in to take the mask off.

"Around five hours, I had to give him a couple of douses to get him to calm down; he shouldn't wake until then."

Sam nodded and clutched his brother's hand harder; though at the same time being careful of the broken bones.

"Why don't you go get some sleep in a real bed, I'll stay here with him until he wakes. When he does I'll come get you."

Sam debated, but then Dean groaned and squeezed Sam's hand as hard as he could, taking the small comfort in knowing someone was with him.

Sam's mind turned to stone and the doctor sighed knowing there was no fighting him about the subject further.

He left quietly, telling Sam if there was any change to call him and put the mask back on Dean.

Sam nodded; paying deep attention to everything the doctor was saying then turning his full attention onto Dean again.

He couldn't believe he had let all of this happen to Dean, he should have been there, even if he couldn't stop the kidnapping, he should have been there to save him from his own little hell sooner.

He sighed quietly, wishing Dean hadn't squeezed his hand so he could have taken a nap but instantly pushed that thought aside; he would never abandon his brother again.

He had done it so many times, and each time something bad had happened.

He should have learned; but he never did.

He knew that going to bed wasn't actually abandoning him, like he hadn't the day he had been taken, but he still felt responsible for this happening.

Just like he knew Dean felt responsible for every little thing that happened even if it had nothing to do with him.

It took Dean six hours to come to; Sam was asleep in the room across the hall because Bobby and the doctor had forced him out of the chair and into the room so Bobby was there when Dean woke up.

"Hey, what happened?" Dean asked looking around confused.

"Why don't you lie down, I'll get some water and call the doc, you've had a rough couple of hours."

"No, I feel fine, what happened? I remember hearing a bang and something down the hall and then I couldn't breathe, what happened?" he asked.

Bobby searched the boys face before explaining.

"You had a panic attack, while having a seizure, you stopped breathing, nothing too serious, the doc had to put you under to calm you down."

Dean's eyes bugged out slightly and he jerked back in shock.

"Oh, is THAT all? I just stopped breathing?" he snapped, sarcasm dripping from his every word.

"Dean, as soon as you were under and were taking in oxygen again, you calmed down; the doc said you must have gotten really scared for a second then a seizure came up too fast."

"I WAS NOT AFRAID!" Dean yelled looking like he had been scandalized and outraged all in one.

Bobby forced himself not to show any sign that Dean had just yelled but everyone could hear the thump from across the hall and the quick footsteps.

Sam slid to a stop in front of the door and peeked through, breathing heavy.

He had heard Dean yelling and had jerked so fast out of sleep he had flipped right off of the bed; but before he could even think he was running.

He had just stopped himself from throwing the door open and running in to see what was going on.

Dean was looking downright scary as he glared at Bobby but Bobby wasn't showing any sign of weakness.

"You know, its okay to be afraid-"

"I wasn't afraid!" he snapped.

"Dean, you had a panic attack, obviously-"

"I heard something crash down stairs and I thought you had gotten hurt! What would have happened if you or the doc were hurt downstairs? Then I would be up here, alone, while you two died down there. WHILE I SAT IN MY BED NOT ABLE TO MOVE OR HELP!"

Both Bobby and Sam were honestly shocked by what had scared Dean.

It made sense, but Sam didn't quite believe him. He knew that could have been half the truth, maybe the bang had something to do with it; but he doubted he was worried about being helpless while the doc and Bobby were down there.

Bobby searched his face for a second but couldn't find any trace of a lie.

Sam could though; he could see the very obvious way Dean was leaning slightly to left, and the way his face was so obviously telling the truth.

Whenever Dean told the truth, he was either downright lying, or telling the truth because he absolutely knew no one would believe him.

So basically, he didn't tell the truth; he lived for his lies.

Sam growled quietly, wanting to yell at Bobby to not believe him and to press the subject because he could tell Dean's wasn't really putting much effort into his walls right now.

It was the perfect time to press things; Dean wouldn't snap back or lie after the fifth time; and Bobby was wasting his chances!

"I'm sorry boy, if it makes you feel any better all the bang was was me dropping something on the floor, no one was hurt or in danger."

Dean glared at Bobby but ignored him for the most part after that.

"So, do I still get to know what the secret is today?" Dean asked anxiously.

Sam and Bobby were both shocked by him again.

Right at that moment the doctor walked by Sam and he hid while the doc walked in.

"Actually, you had the seizure before I could tell Bobby the good news."

He turned to Bobby while talking after that "I found Dean asleep with the picture, and since he has been eating, healing, and seems to have made some great improvement with the picture, I thought we could tell him the news after dinner. Plus, it's been two weeks and he has every right to know."

Bobby didn't know who to stare at; the doc for finally saying it was his right after fighting him so hard about it not more than three days ago or Dean for finding out he had fallen asleep after making a huge improvement with the picture of Sam that had worked up such a fuss the other day.

"Well, I mean, I was just looking at it, I wasn't really doing anything, plus I had thrown it onto the floor and left it there for hours, and I did have that seizure the last time I saw it; and you know, if you have the slightest thought that it might not be time to tell me I don't think you should-"

Dean seemed to realize he was rambling and shut up quickly.

Everyone was staring at him with a different reaction.

Sam looked downright murderous, he couldn't believe the doc and Bobby weren't asking him what was wrong? Or going to him and seeing if he was okay, couldn't they see he was panicked? Scared? He didn't want to know the secret; why were they pushing it so soon? He had only been back two weeks!

Bobby looked slightly insulted but more shocked. He couldn't believe Dean didn't want to know the secret. He understood he was nervous but where the hell was his pride and defiance?

The doctor looked a mixture between smug and annoyed. He had fought for two weeks against the whole house about telling the secret early, and now Dean was siding with him when he decided to tell him! Why did he even bother?

"No, never mind, I want to know." Dean said after a few minutes of a confused silence.

"Are you sure?" the doctor asked quickly.

"Yeah, I'm sure." Dean said confidently.

"Well, you have until after dinner to make your final decision; then once we say it, there isn't any going back."

"Well come on guys, its not gonna like, kill me is it?" Dean asked smiling and obviously joking.

"I hope it doesn't, though I'm going to have to be ready with something to put you under if it gets bad."

"What do you mean put me under?" Dean snapped turning to glare at him.

"Well I can't just have you stop breathing-"

"I have not given you my consent to put me under without any permission, I don't want you to ever put me under again unless I give you the okay or you think it is a life and death situation. Am I clear?" he asked, being deadly serious and staring hard straight at the doctor, not even twitching.

The doctor nodded quickly and Dean slowly leaned back but didn't stop staring him down.

The doctor looked away uncomfortable and quickly excused himself saying he would be back with food.

He quickly shut the door leaving it open a crack and stopped outside the door with Sam.

"Damn, someone isn't happy today is he?" he whispered.

"He's confused. He wants someone to tell him a firm answer. You keep dancing around the rose and giving him the choice! He either wants you to say 'no you aren't ready to know yet and that's final' or 'we are going to tell you tonight, no more delaying', hes confused, he NEEDS to be in control of things right now but he doesn't feel like he can anymore. You need to let him think he's making the decisions and controlling everything from now on!" Sam said frustrated.

The doctor seemed shocked that Sam had said anything close to that. He had expected a 'must have woken up on the wrong side of the bed' or something like that… not a good, smart answer.

Damn, he had honestly misjudged their relationship.

"Are you two…" he trailed off, not knowing how to fraise it in case he was wrong.

"What? Brothers? Yeah." Sam said misjudging the question.

"No, I knew that, I meant, are you two, intimate?"

Sam blanched, his mouth hanging open before he sputtered random words.

He couldn't even believe what the doctor had just asked him. Was he… intimate? With Dean? Sure Dean was good looking, and he knew he wasn't bad looking, but were they together?

"We're brothers!" he stressed, eyes still wide.

"So, I'm a hunter doctor, I've heard stranger." The doctor said honestly.

Sam sputtered again, what did he mean, so? So? So! Well it was a huge damn so!

"That's called incest!" he hissed.

"So? It's not like you plan on making kids, you can't, the worst that could happen is you get some sexually transmitted disease, and it's still not hurting anyone else."

Sam gaped like a fish and the doctor laughed "obviously I was wrong. You just seemed to read him so well, even for close brothers. I was just reading to deep into things, never mind." He said before walking away.

Sam stared after him before sitting down on the floor and leaning against the wall.

Was he with Dean! What a question.

Sure they had grown up strange, but not that strange! I mean, what kind of person had feelings about their own brother?

He looked inside Dean's room and he felt a goofy smile spread across his face at the sight of Dean balancing a pencil on his face.

Dean had taught him how to do that when he was eight.

Sam stayed in the doorway until the doctor had come back with Dean's food then he went down stairs to grab a soda and sandwich before going back to his usual post.

"Hey, how do you two always know when to come into my room? It's like as soon as I'm awake, two seconds later someone is walking in, or I'm a second from a seizure or I am seizing and you both just seem to know what's going on, is there like, a camera or something?" he asked honestly wanting to know.

"No, someone is always outside your door." The doctor said simply.

"Doesn't that get tiring, what with just the two of you?"

"No" Bobby said simply.

Dean leaned back to get a better look at the two men but neither of them substituted any more information so he let it go; he knew when not to push something; and even though he wanted to; he wasn't one to be pushing when they weren't.

Sure the doc asked questions and he had honestly been about to kill him a number of times already but no one was really pushing him about what had happened, what had really gone on, why if anyone even hedged on the topic that he had a brother he would grab his gun and cock it right in their face.

He shuddered at the thought of his brother and the doctor quickly stood up and eyed him.

"Do you want me to put you back on anti-convulsants?" the doc asked him.

Dean shook his head, clamping his teeth as shakes racked his body.

Bobby stood, ready to hold him down at a seconds notice but Dean just shook, it wasn't as bad as the last one; just a normal one.

He jerked around slightly, eyes rolling around until finally he dropped and began gasping for air.

Bobby sat down as the doctor rolled him onto his side, pulling his arm from under him and letting him gasp for air until he was able to see again.

After a few seconds of trying to get up he was settled down again and the doc was seriously wondering how Dean was still awake; sure he had slept like a rock for six hours, but he had to be exhausted.

Without the meds, Dean slept restlessly, sure he didn't move, but that didn't mean he actually got the rest.

He knew he was plagued with horrible dreams.

Sam had told him once; very quietly that Dean cried and his face looked pained in his sleep though he didn't think it was because of real pain.

He wondered why Dean hadn't put a gun to his head or someone else's head yet.

He was thankful that he hadn't, and he knew without a second of doubt that Dean had honestly been about to kill him on a number of times for pushing a bit to far but he couldn't figure out why he hadn't yet.

At first he thought it was because he hadn't been able to move or had any strength, but then one night while Sam was sleeping he had been walking by and had saw Dean was awake and in bed, his gun was apart on his bed and he was cleaning it.

He knew for a fact that his gun had been a good ten feet away hidden under his dresser, there was no way he would have been able to get it without getting up.

He watched as Dean cleaned the weapon with a piece of gauze then put it back together in minutes, seconds maybe.

Then he watched as Dean held the gun in his hand and fit his hand to it, then bounced it around a bit, getting used to the feel of it before squinting one eye and pointing at the wall.

He was shocked as hell to realize there was a silencer on it and that Dean had hit the picture on the wall with dead aim; he shot the guy in the picture right in the heart before the bullet fell.

He slid the gun under his pillow after that, seeming satisfied that he could still shoot better than anyone he knew but then the doctor watched amazed as Dean picked up his shattered leg and slowly turned himself so his back was leaning against the foot board and he slowly grabbed the tray with wheels.

Dean had rested his foot down onto it then grabbed a crutch from under the bed and held it with his arm that hadn't been dislocated.

He had watched stunned as Dean walked with one leg and slid the other along; wincing sure, but he was moving around! If he hadn't been so stunned he might have snapped at him and forced him back into the bed.

He stood there for over four hours watching as Dean just walked back and forth in a line.

It seemed he just wanted to get some strength back, or make sure he wasn't totally useless.

Dean had slowly settled back into the bed after that and he knew he still did it sometimes; when he was absolutely positive "Jared" wasn't there and he knew no one was.

At times when he was on watch he would just leave his post on purpose so Dean would drag himself out of bed and walk around.

This was good, he wanted Dean to walk around; but it also worried him. He was pushing too hard too fast, and if he had his strength it meant he could fight and defend himself.

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Dean ate his lunch, slept a little, then decided to play a game of cards with Bobby.

"Bobby, I know I'm better than you at cards, but my win was crazy, stop letting me win and fight back!" he snapped.

Bobby had actually blushed guiltily but played honestly after that.

Dean had still won and Bobby scoffed saying he had taken it easy on him but they both knew he hadn't.

After another hour of cards the doc said he could eat some dinner and take his meds before settling down for the news.

Dean ate so slowly no one was sure if it was because he actually had to eat slow or if it was because he didn't want to know.

Dean ate another bite while chancing a quick glance at the picture before looking back at his plate.

Then it hit him, Jared Padalecki was Sam's name when they had been thrown into the alternate universe and their lives were TV shows and they were famous.

Jared had been Sam's "real" name.

He shuddered at that thought but didn't seizure.

That's why the name had been so familiar to him.

"So, is there really even a Jared here or has he been made up this whole time?" Dean asked narrowing his eyes willing someone to lie to him just so he could yell.

"Yes he has, there is no Jared, the two people that saved you are not here anymore." The doc said gesturing around the room.

"But what about all of those times someone came in to help and it wasn't either of you?" he challenged.

"That was probably someone." Bobby said nonchalantly.

"I thought you said you would be honest with me!" he snapped.

"Tonight, when we tell you what we have been keeping from you we will answer any questions you still have." The doctor said simply.

Dean grunted but leaned back and quickly finished his dinner then swallowed his meds with some water and glared at the IV on the back of his left hand; the doc had changed it from his arm, Dean had complained it was like he couldn't even move that whole arm because he was afraid he would rip the damn thing out; with it in his hand, he could move around freely without having to worry; well, as much as he could pull it anyway.

He had liked it better when they had taken it out completely; damn him for having more seizures and refusing his meds.

As soon as he was finished Bobby took his plate and brought it down and to the kitchen where he lingered for a second before going back up.

Dean leaned back, feeling anxious as he looked between the two men; they looked way too serious for his liking.

"Now Dean, I know you feel safer with your gun under your pillow and your knife under your mattress-"

Dean's eyes widened and he stuffed his hand under the mattress, nothing. He slipped his hand under his pillow and he couldn't find anything either.

His eyes snapped up to the doctor and he zeroed in on the weapons Bobby was holding in his hands.

Damn, they had taken them from him while he was asleep probably.

"What, you actually think I would shoot someone just because of the news?" he asked, trying to keep his smile on but his stomach knotted in worry.

What was it they were hiding?

"Dean, you'd shoot anything if you were mad enough, hell you'd shoot it even if you weren't mad!" Bobby said pointing out the obvious to him.

He was about to protest when he silently agreed and shook his head a bit.

"Alright, it's nine o clock, you've had diner, you've taken your pills, you have the IV for back up, you don't have any weapons, and Bobby and I are right here, you don't have to worry about anything." The doctor reassured him.

Now Dean was just getting bored; could they get on with it already?

"First, we know you were taken by something that looked like Sam-"

"You can shut the fu-"

"Wait, just listen. I know you must have tried silver on it, and holy water, and every test you knew. And we know none of them worked but you did manage to kill it with a silver bullet…"

Dean was flinching and twitching slightly but the usual feeling in his gut never came when he was sure he was about to seizure.

He looked at the IV grateful then sneered a bit at the doctor before nodding.

"Well, we had Julie, you remember her? Go get you in a copter, and after that she went back for your car and we had her and Cas check out what had taken you."

Dean scoffed a bit at the name; Julie, she was afraid of every little damn thing; hell she was one of the best people he knew that could easily breeze through the other side without breaking a sweat but she was afraid of anything that ever was!

He also scoffed a bit at the word taken because honestly, he had been the one driving them there, and he had been the one that had walked into this mess.

No one actually took him anywhere.

Which didn't make him feel any better but his pride was still slightly intact at the thought that they couldn't even kidnap him.

"We figured out why the silver didn't work on him though he was clearly a shifter; he was a... hybrid if you will."

Dean stared at him shocked and slightly unbelieving.

That had been Sam, he had watched as it did every test; it had told him things only Sam would know, things no one else knew.

It knew about things from when they were kids for Christ's sake!

And he had tried to plead for him to stop, but he hadn't, he had cried and screamed for days! But Sam had just laughed and did whatever he was doing harder, rougher, crueler.

"It was a vampire shifter hybrid Dean. Because it was part vampire the silver didn't work on him. Because it was shifter the dead man's blood didn't work on him. But because it was more shifter you could kill it with a silver bullet to the heart."

Dean nodded, not really fully listening but still taking it in and putting it somewhere to think about for later.

He knew that had been Sam, it had to have been; because if it wasn't, why hadn't Sam come for him? Why had he left him there? Where was he now? That had to be Sam, and he had killed him.

Dean's body jerked a few times but slowly he calmed down and he leaned forward and put his head in his hands.

"Alright, relax, take a few seconds." The doctor said slowly.

Dean breathed deeply through his nose for a minute before slowly lifting his head.

He was a bit paler but nodded his head for them to continue anyway.

"Well, since the very beginning we have had someone here with us, they have been here this whole time Dean. And it wasn't Jared."

Dean nodded uncomfortable.

"That night that you were rescued from the woods-"

"I didn't ask to be rescued! I had gotten out on my own and I could have made it to the road on my own." He said defensively hating the word rescued.

The doctor nodded. "You're right, you did get out on your own, and you could have made it to the road, but two people did come for you. A man and a woman. The woman driving the copter, that was Julie."

Dean looked shocked at that. She could not only fly a helicopter but she was shooting from the plane at men, being shot at, then she went back and got his car and most likely burned or buried their bodies.

"The man that was there, that got you onto the stretcher and sat in the back with you, he is here now. He has been here the whole time with you."

Dean swallowed, so this was the secret, the man that had been with him this whole time was here?

"Dean, we have another thing to say before we tell you who the man is, it's something about your brother…"

Dean's body shook like he was shivering except he wasn't; his body was just shaking.

The doctor waited a minute for Dean's body to calm down and for his mind to catch up then he continued.

"Dean, your brother, he isn't dead, he is still alive."

Dean winced as pictures of his brother flew through his mind and he instantly thought of him as he carved him up.

"Dean, are you okay? Do you want to take a break?" the doctor asked worried.

He had really hoped Dean wouldn't react this badly just to the word brother.

Dean tried to shake his head no but he was overcome as his body began burning in pain.

Sam was on him, he was in him, in him, touching him everywhere, hurting him, making him cry and scream. He couldn't move, his arms and legs were forced to stay down, he couldn't do anything, no one was coming for him, Sam wasn't coming for him, Sam left him, he left him and doesn't care about him, he doesn't want to be near me.

Bobby winced as he watched Dean on the bed. He wasn't seizing, he was having a full body flash back.

Dean's head whipped side to side and a silent scream tore from him, ringing in his ears though no one else could hear it.

He bucked his hips as much as he could to throw Sam's weight off of him but he didn't even slip off, not even a little.

Sam winced as he realized what Dean was probably feeling. At first he thought he was just reliving one where he was being beaten or something like that; but now, now that he had watched as Dean bucked his hips and his hands fisted in the sheets he knew someone was on him.

He watched as Dean struggled with the invisible weight until finally he seemed to snap out of it and he lay panting, chest heaving quickly and the doctor quickly picked up the oxygen mask in case Dean started hyperventilating.

Dean fisted the sheets as his breaths began taking in less air and his back arched in pain as his chest squeezed tightly.

The doctor pushed the mask onto him and Dean struggled, but went slack as air was pushed into him and he let the mask give him air.

Five minutes later and Dean's eyes snapped open wide in panic and he began clawing at his face with one hand.

"Dean, Dean! Stop, stop, slow down, its just a mask, its air, you couldn't breathe, see, just a mask, if you calm down you can take it off!" The doctor yelled over his struggles.

Dean's eyes were wide in fright but he did stop struggling and he sat up before pulling the mask off and breathing deeply.

God damn flash backs. He had fought it off on his own to, had pushed as hard as he could.

While having a flash back, even though his eyes might be opened or closed, he couldn't see a thing. In his mind though, it was like he was sitting in a big empty black room, with a huge movie screen playing, but he knew what he was watching was actually happening to him, right now!

But somewhere in his mind, he knew, he had already done that, this couldn't be right, that had happened already. And he had pushed as hard as he could, had forced with everything he had in him to break the screen, but when he could see, he couldn't breathe, and it felt like there was a weight on his chest stopping him from breathing.

He set the mask down onto the night stand and took slow deep even breaths before looking up.

Bobby was clearly worried but the doctor had looked mildly impressed.

"You got out of your flash back?" the doctor asked.

Bobby and Sam both looked to Dean, waiting for his answer.

Sam couldn't have been more proud of him, only his big brother can force himself out of something physically impossible to leave.

Only his big brother.

"Alright Dean, are you ready?" the doctor asked.

Dean nodded, saying they could continue.

"Dean, your brother, the nice gentle little brother that would never hurt you, he's alive, and he wants to see you."

Dean jerked back so hard that he thought he might have actually cracked his neck.

"Wh- wh- wha-" Dean couldn't get a word out.

Sam wanted to see him? He was on his way here? How long until he was here? Where had he been?

"Dean, Sam has been here this whole time, he was the one that went with Julie and saved you, he was the one that rode in the copter with you, he was the one that has been here and helping you through this. He wants to know if he can see you."

Dean's breaths became shorts gasps but he wasn't going to faint, he couldn't, his body just wasn't; even though his mind was screaming at him.

"Sam is going to walk in really slowly, through the door, he isn't going to go next to you okay? He's going to stand right here in the middle of us. He's going to walk nice and slow." The doctor said before nodding to the door.

Dean whirled around to see the door slowly opening.

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(peaks out from behind hands) sorry for leaving it like that. Please, i hope you all liked this chapter. I know its taking a while for Dean to finally see Sam again but thanks for bearing with me this far!

Please please please Review!

Love you all! Review!