January 17, 2004
The Lions Theater – State College, Pennsylvania
1145 Eastern
Harm stood in front of the theater, waiting for Rebecca to show up. They had not seen each other since Monday, but had talked on the telephone the last two nights. He had even confirmed the time with her for today, as well as that they would meet here. Now, he was wondering if she had changed her mind at the last moment. Pulling out his cell phone, he checked to see if it was on and then to see if he had a signal. After that, he was left to check his watch again before walking a little to keep warm.
Finally, he saw her car coming down the street and smile. After she had pulled into the parking lot, he made his way towards her and waited for her to get out.
"I'm sorry if I kept you waiting, Harm," Rebecca said once she was facing him.
"I was getting a little concerned," Harm replied. "But now that you're here, everything is fine."
"Sorry, busy week and then I forgot to set my alarm clock for today, so I woke up late."
"Anything you can talk about or just doctor/patient stuff?"
"Problem patients and an unexpected midweek drive to Altoona to see one of them at the VA," Rebecca told him. "But enough about that for right now. We're here to see a couple of movies and take our minds off the outside world for a few hours."
"Well, I've already got the tickets. We just need to get our refreshments and hurry to our seats," Harm told her.
"Not much need to hurry, Harm. I doubt the theater will be half full, at most."
Harm just smiled at that, before leading the way to the line for the drinks and popcorn. By the time they had gotten through the short line and made their way into the theater, the house lights were being dimmed for the previews. Still, they were able to find a pair of seats almost exactly where they had sat last weekend. Harm saw that Rebecca had been right in her assessment of the potential crowd, as the theater was less than half full.
Once they were seated, Harm put his arm around Rebecca's shoulders. He felt her tense momentarily before she relaxed into him, while leaving Harm slightly puzzled at the same time. Fortunately or unfortunately, depending on the point of view, the movie started before Harm could comment on it. So, he contented himself with watching her out of the corner of his eye while they watched the movies. Until he noticed that she was now watching him watch her, which brought a sheepish smile to Harm's lips.
From that point on, Harm tried to keep his attention on the movie. Rebecca, however, was still silently watching him more than the movie. To be as relaxed as he was, that was a goal she desperately wanted to achieve. Even as she was beginning to trust him, she had still instinctively tensed at something as simple as his touch. Would it ever get easier or was this how it was always going to be? And, God forbid, what would happen if their relationship reached the point of intimacy? What then?
Silent tears slid from her eyes at the thoughts now dominating her. Harm at first didn't notice the change, until he felt her shoulders shake beneath his arm. At that moment, he looked over and saw her. The movie was instantly forgotten, as he stood and gently got her to her feet. Harm quickly got them out of the theater and on outside, moving them to his Lexus. Getting the passenger door open, he got her inside before going around the front and getting in beside her.
"Rebecca," he said softly, wondering what had brought this on.
"I'm sorry, Harm. I'm so sorry," she said between her tears.
"What's wrong?"
"Me…you…us. I'm not sure we should see each other anymore."
"Why not? Is it something I've said or done?" Harm asked, shocked. He had thought that they were getting along very well, even if it was really too early in their relationship to actually tell.
"No, it's nothing you've said or done. The problem is with me," Rebecca told him.
"I'd like to help if you'll let me."
"That's just it. I'm not sure this is something you can help me with."
"Look, I know you're a psychiatrist. Have you ever thought about talking with someone about whatever it is that's bothering you so much," Harm said.
"Actually, I do talk with someone," Rebecca told him.
"Then, I'm make you a deal. You go and talk to them and I'll see you in my office on Monday. If you still want us to stop seeing each other at that point, I'll understand."
"Thank you, Harm."
With those three words, she was out of the car and walking slowly to hers. Harm, on the other hand, was left wondering what in the world was going on. Last weekend, she had snuggled up against him. Today, just his touch had caused her to stiffen. As his mind raced, he could sense that the pieces were all there, if only he could assemble them properly so that they revealed the picture. After endless minutes spent thinking and getting nowhere, Harm started the car and left. Given the early ending to his Saturday plans, he decided to stop and look at stoves before going back to the farm.
VA Medical Center – Altoona, Pennsylvania
1434 Eastern
Beth Rhodes was slightly surprised to see she had someone waiting to see her. Who it was surprised her even more, until her friend and sometime patient lifted her head and looked at her. The haunted look in Rebecca's eyes troubled Beth greatly. So much so, that she hurriedly pulled Rebecca into her office and closed the door. Once the two of them were settled into chairs facing each other, Beth began.
"Becca, what's wrong?"
"I told Harm I thought we should stop seeing each other," Rebecca replied.
"What brought this on, because last Saturday you were so happy?"
"We went out to dinner on Monday and as we were walking back to our cars, he called me Becky. And I just lost it. I screamed at him to not call me that and ran off. He followed me and when I finally stopped, we talked and he said he was starting to really like me. And that thought just scared the hell out of me. Then, we went to the movies today and he put his arm across my shoulders. Obviously after last Saturday, he thought it was alright and today I just stiffened. And I know he noticed, even after I willed myself to relax, because I could see him watching me. At that moment, I wondered what would happen if we continued our relationship to the point of intimacy. Would I freak out then? Just lose it the moment he starts to undress me. I'm sure that would go over well."
"So, let me get this straight. Because of something that may possibly happen in the future, you've decided to give up on a chance at happiness? Not something that has already happened or even something that is certain to happen, but only something that 'might' happen," Beth said, her tone making her opinion on that perfectly clear.
"Beth, it's not that simple. I don't want to hurt Harm because of my failing," Rebecca said, tears in her eyes.
"Becca, this isn't about a failing. This is your mind and body protecting itself after a very traumatic experience. And think of how far you've come, even in the few years that I've known you? Heck, four years ago, you wouldn't have even gone to the movies with a man. So the very fact that you and Harm went to the movies together is something of an accomplishment. Now, I think you should keep seeing Harm. However, I think you're also going to have to tell him about what happened if you really want a future with him."
"I can't, Beth!"
Beth leaned forward and took her friend's hands in hers.
"Becca, at some point, for the two of you to go forward together, he needs to know. From what little you've told me, I am absolutely certain he suspects something. He'd have to be an idiot not to and somehow I don't see Penn State hiring an idiot as a law professor," Beth told her with a smile, one that Rebecca couldn't help but return.
"And what if this causes him to run away as fast as he can?" Rebecca asked.
"Then it's his loss, not yours. Besides, from what you've seen so far, do you think he'd run?"
"No, no I don't."
"Alright then. Let's make this easier. Because a public place is definitely NOT the location for this conversation, why don't we do this? You and your guy come over to my place, say Tuesday night. Jimmy's off that night, so he'll be there too. We can make it a double date and then after dinner, you can take Harm into the den and tell him. If it goes bad, Jimmy and I will be in the other room and all you'll have to do is yell," Beth said.
Rebecca smiled at that. Jim was Beth's husband and also a Lieutenant in the Pennsylvania State Police. If things did go bad, he was definitely a good man to have on her side. Yet, a part of her knew that no matter what happened, things wouldn't reach the point of her needing Jim. Harm, she felt, would either stay or he would leave, but he wouldn't hurt her. At least not physically.
January 19, 2004
Harmon Rabb's Office – Penn State University
0721 Eastern
Harm was sitting behind his desk, working on this week's lectures. Yesterday had been spent having a gas stove installed in the kitchen and having the old stove removed. He still chuckled at the thought of those poor deliverymen. The store promised free haul away of the old appliance and Harm had been more than happy to take them up on it. After this little adventure, he thought the store might reconsider that offer.
Still, the one downside of the new stove had been the need to have a plumber out. He'd also had to have the gas shut off while a new line was installed to supply the new stove. Harm knew he could have done it himself, but he had decided to go with a professional instead. He did run the electric line for the igniters on the stove, however. Once the work was done, he'd tried out the stove and been very pleased. Even better was all the extra room that had been created by the installation of the new stove, which was smaller than the old one had been.
The one problem had been the cleaning that had been needed afterward. The stove had almost certainly been sitting there for a century or better, with layers of dust and dirt built up behind it as proof. And then there was the trail that had been left as the workers removed the old one from the house. By the time he had gotten all of that done and had his dinner, he was tired. So, he had turned on the stereo and laid on the couch to read while listening to soft jazz.
Evidently, he had dozed off at some point because the next thing he knew, he woke up in the middle of the night stretched out on the couch. A glance at his watch had shown it to be a little after 4 in the morning. So, Harm had gotten up and started breakfast. Oatmeal with sliced bananas and orange juice were followed by a shower while a pot of coffee brewed.
Once he was dressed for the day, Harm came back downstairs and had a cup. He also filled his thermos for the drive to work before leaving at around 0530. The drive was just as pleasant as he could hope for, getting him to the university by 0630.
"So, this is what former Navy JAG officers do when they quit?" came a voice from the doorway, one Harm would just as soon not have heard anytime soon.
"Nice to see you too, Webb," Harm replied without looking up from his work.
"Oh, come on, Rabb! You're not still upset because I had to fire you?"
"No. I do think you could have done it in person, though."
"Hey, compartmentalization. Nobody was supposed to know that I was your boss," Webb told him. "Just like nobody is supposed to know or guess that we worked for a certain government agency."
"So, what brings you here, Webb? Another chestnut you need pulled from a fire?" Harm asked.
"No, I just happened to be here." At Harm's look of disbelief, Webb smiled. "Seriously, this is just a recruiting trip. One of our guys put us on to a couple of potential agents and we want to see them. The fact that you're here is why I took the trip, rather than sending someone else."
"Why?"
"When I got back from London on Friday, Sarah and I went out to dinner. I could tell something was bothering her, so I asked although I should have been smart enough to guess. It was you and your disappearing act. Nobody at JAG has heard from you since October, they don't know where you are or how you're doing. They're concerned, Harm," Webb told him.
"And how did you know where I was?" Harm asked.
"Seriously? Harm, think about it, will you? You were an agency employee, even if only for a short while. Do you really think that we haven't been keeping track of you?"
"And who have you told?"
"No one, Harm. It's not my place to tell them. If you're hiding out, I guess you have your reasons. Although I have to say, this isn't exactly hiding out," Webb told him.
"I'm not hiding, I just need some distance from certain places and people right now," Harm told him. "A lot has changed since I left JAG and I just need to get some perspective on things."
"We know about Miss Johnson, Harm. I have a couple of my people quietly looking for her, since I know you can't do it yourself."
"Thanks, Clay."
"I'll let you know when they find her," Clay said before standing. "One of them is Victor Galindez."
"Gunny's a good man. I'd say tell him to take care, but I don't want to chance it getting back to Mac that someone has had contact with me," Harm told him.
With that, Clay left Harm's office. As he walked down the hall, a slight smile came to his lips. He wouldn't tell Sarah where Harm was, but he'd figure out some way of convincing her that he was alright. Halfway to the elevators, he passed a redhead going in the opposite direction and nodded a greeting that was returned. He noticed that she had moved over slightly as they neared each other. Well, one couldn't be too careful, he guessed. At the elevators, he looked back down the hall in time to see her entered an office. Given where she had been standing, he was almost positive that it was Harm's. Clay's eyebrows rose at that before the elevator arrived to take him back downstairs. She didn't have the look of a student about her, in his opinion.
For her part, Rebecca had noticed the man in the overcoat and suit as soon as she entered the hall. He had looked all wrong for where he was at. Yes, some of the law professors did dress well, but this man's appearance spoke of wealth and position, not academia. As they had neared, she moved to the edge of the hallway to have some space as they passed. Once she was safely away from him, she moved back to the middle of the hall until she reached Harm's office.
Harm looked up when the door opened, wondering if Clay had forgotten something. Instead, he saw Rebecca standing there, a nervous look on her face.
"Please, Rebecca, come in," Harm told her, keeping his tone light to hide his own nervousness.
"Thank you," Rebecca said, as she closed the door and took the chair across the desk from him.
"So, did you talk to someone on Saturday?"
"Yes and I've come to ask if you still want to see me?"
"Of course, Doc. Is that what you want, though?" Harm asked, needing to hear her say it.
"I'd like to try," Rebecca said. "And to that end, my friend has invited us over to dinner tomorrow night. Just the two of us, her and her husband, kind of a double date."
"That sounds nice. Where at and what time?"
"Why don't we meet here at 5 and you can follow me there."
"That sounds like a plan, Doc. Now, how are you doing?" Harm asked.
"Better. I'm sorry again for what happened on Saturday, for ruining our afternoon out," Rebecca told him.
"Don't be, Rebecca. Something obviously bothered you, enough that you needed to get away. I understand that, I do. I'm just concerned about you, alright?"
"I appreciate that, Harm. And tomorrow, I'll try to explain it to you. I just hope that after hearing what I have to say, that things don't change too much between us."
"Since I don't know what you're going to say, I won't promise that things won't. But I do promise to listen," Harm said, smiling at her.
"At the moment, that more than I could hope for," Rebecca told him.
Rebecca's cell phone chose that moment to ring, breaking the conversation. Harm could only catch a snatch of the call before Rebecca was out of her chair and through the door. Unless he missed his guess, it had to be a patient at the VA. Harm doubted that something to do with one of her classes would have gotten her moving that fast. Then he stopped as he realized how late it was. He would have to get a move on himself or he would be late for his class. Grabbing his briefcase and the thermos, he collected his coat from the tree near the door and left the office, locking the door behind him.
