DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING, EXCEPT FOR CARMELLA, JOSH, AND ALEX!


I don't know what I was doing; it was like my body was on auto pilot. No, it wasn't even in control, nothing was in control. My emotions turned into a runaway train.

My arms locked behind his neck, pulling him closer to me even though I wanted to push him away. His hot lips seemed to be glued to mine, even though the kiss was just an innocent brush of the lips, lighter than a butterflies touch, they turned frantic.

My heart beats like a bass drum against my ribs and I couldn't stop.

I felt being weightless and was lifted off the ground by Embry's warm arms wrapped around my waist.

STOP THIS NOW CARMELLA!

My mind frantically screamed at me to stop, yet I couldn't. It felt like if I broke the kiss, I was going to be in physical pain.

STOP NOW CARMELLA!

Why couldn't I stop? I wanted to, do I not?

"Carmella," He whispered against my lips. I shivered even though I was definitely not cold with his body heat radiating all through my body.

I felt my back brush against something and took one of my hands away, resentfully, to feel behind me that he pushed me against a piece of driftwood.

My legs felt like jelly, though somehow they managed to wrap around his waist on their own accord, going against every one of my brain's thoughts.

Everything felt so over whelming. I could feel all his sweet warmth spread throughout my body and his smell of the forest and coffee wrapped around me.

His and my hands tangled in each other's hair, while I let one of my hands drift down his cheek, down his neck, and down to his chest. I heard a growl sound from him, but not a menacing growl. No, a growl that made my stomach twist and turn like I was on a boat. Another growl ripped through the night, but this did not come from Embry. This growl made me shiver in a bad way, like I'm about to be killed way.

Another growl seemed to sound down the beach, followed by a voice I have heard since being in the womb.

"Sam, calm down," it was my mother's soothing voice.

I'm so dead…

Embry pulled away panting even more of his overwhelming smell on me.

"Sam," came my mom's voice again.

Embry didn't seem to notice the first time because his dark brown eyes widened at the sound.

My mind apparently didn't register the first time, or should I say my body, because my legs were still wrapped tightly around his waist.

Everything seemed to happen too quickly. I unwrapped my legs as soon as Embry backed away from me.

I watched down the beach, the moon being the only light to see anything. I could see my father and my mother wrapped around his bicep looking frantically around. Josh hung back holding a flashlight clutched in his hands, looking between our parents and Embry and me. What really disturbs me is not that my parents just witnessed my first kiss, but Dad's figure was shaking like so many times I remember as a little girl. Nobody has shook like that in a long time and the only time I remember, that time they phased into a wolf…

I looked into Josh's eyes and saw the frantic look, but he too witnessed when the last time someone lost control. He looked at Mom and dropped his flashlight, grasping her arm and pulling her away.

I was happy he did that because as soon as he did, Dad burst into a big ball of black fur.

It was just like how I remember the black wolf, still as large as and bigger than all the other wolves. His hair used to be jet black, but now it was peppered with gray streaks and his face was turned into a hideous snarl.

He snapped his teeth looking at Embry with vicious eyes.

"Daddy," I whispered. I knew the wolf heard because his eyes flickered to mine a half a second, softening his face into something familiar, but went right back to the snarl aimed at Embry.

"Sam," Embry said putting his hands in front of him, a surrendering gesture. I knew that was the wrong move even before the wolf crouched into a springing position, getting low against the sand.

Embry seemed to know he wasn't going to get away without a fight of some sort because he straighten up his posture, lowering his hands.

"Back away Carmella," He said without looking at me, only keeping his eyes on Dad.

"No," my voice shook.

What do I do? I don't want a fight, but it won't be a fair fight if I don't let Embry phase? I don't want them to fight, they are both the important to me!

"Carmella move," He said it with more force this time, looking at me. I shook my head being defiant as usual.

I looked back at Dad seeing his muscles with even more tension in them.

"Carmella," he said with almost a smirk on his face, "I won't kiss you again unless you move."

That did it, not me. I saw the wolf charging down the beach, and I quickly went running down away, hearing the shredding of Embry's clothes behind me. He knew that would make Dad mad, setting him off, showing me the danger.

I looked behind me as the two wolves clashed together, snapping their large frothy mouths at each other.

I managed to stay out of the way of the wolves as I ran around them to where shocked Mom and Josh stood.

I reached for Mom's arm as soon as I got in reach and tugged at her still form.

"Mom! Stop them! Tell them to stop," my voice shook and sounded child like to my ears as I watched them snap and growl. They looked like they were ready to kill each other and it was my entire fault.

Mom's almond shaped eyes stayed in a manner of shock as she watched the fight. It felt like everything inside me was tearing as I watched two people I cared and loved so much fight all because of me.

"Mommy," I cried. I felt tears coming down my face as the black wolf bit down on the spotted gray wolf's leg. Embry yelped in pain and lipped away as Dad kept on snapping his jaws at him.

I saw this the perfect time as they circled around each other, Embry limping.

"Dad stop," I held up my hand to him, the same as Embry did, but knowing my dad would do nothing to hurt me. "You already hurt him," I gestured behind me to Embry, "If anyone needs to be hurt it's me." Embry whined behind me, knowing he means I don't need to be hurt, I rolled my eyes. My dad's big round brown eyes flickered between Embry and me; I guessed he was listening to his thoughts while he listened to me rant.

"Sam," Mom seemed to snap out of it and called him! She ran right beside me. "What happened?"

I realized that my dad phased even though he stopped phasing a long time ago and began to age again.

Dad shrugged his big shoulders and looked down at the ground in guilt as my mom put her signature hand on her hip. He reminded me of a child, or more like a dog, getting in trouble, but I tried to hide the smirk reminding myself that this was my dad.

"Go," she sighed and pointed at the woods towards the house. He nodded and took off into the woods. "And you," she whipped around jabbing a finger at Embry, "You should know better." He looked down at the ground, just like Dad, in guilt. "We will talk about this later at the house. Go get some clothes on," She pointed down farther down the beach where I know he shared a house with Seth, Brady, and Collin. I smirked at him cowering before Mom, while he picked a fight with Dad. My smile fell as soon as she turned to and remembered exactly why everyone cowered before her when you did something wrong. Her chestnut brown eyes flared with passion of anger. I wanted to shrink on my knees before her, the power just from her glare made my knees buckle. She didn't even say anything, just lifted one finger and pointed towards home.

Mom followed me down the path, while Josh smirked happily that he wasn't in trouble. He shone the way of the pathway with his flashlight.

When we entered the house, Mom still wasn't speaking to me making me wish she was, the silence was worse than the lecture I was about to endure. She pointed at the couch for me to sit when Dad walked in fully clothed. He took a seat next to Mom in one of the two chairs, the other occupied by Mom. Josh looked around, his face lit up with joy at the family drama.

I don't even know why everyone was so upset. I get that they caught Embry and me kissing, but it is nothing for anyone to get in a fight over, or even to result into phasing.

The only one who should be upset really is me. I am upset with myself. Is all my fighting really going to go to waste with one kiss? Why didn't I stop myself? I should have stopped myself; I should have pulled away when his lips brushed mine. I blame it on hormones, but yet I don't think I would allow my hormones to take control…

You love him.

I squinted my eyes at the annoying voice. I am not in love with Embry Call! I couldn't be! It's impossible, I haven't even thought of him in another way from a best friend to maybe something more long enough for me to fall in love. That is a preposterous idea!

My eyes opened as soon as I heard the sound of the door opening and closing. Embry walked in, fully clothed, and took a seat next to me on the couch facing across form my parents disapproving faces.

Everybody in this family is such drama queens! They really need to get out more or watch soap operas to get out all the built up drama.

"I'm disappointed in all the events that took place tonight," Mom said looking at us, "We are not animals even if you turn into one, you need to be civilized and that means not braking out into any fights whenever something happens," she looked at Dad and Embry.

"I would like to apologize for attacking you Embry," Dad murmured looking up from the ground, "I just lose all control when it comes to my kids."

Embry nodded in understanding, standing up when Dad stood up and they both shook each other's hands.

"I'm sorry too Sam. That was wrong of me and that should have never gotten that far," Embry said solemnly.

"I forgive you," He smiled at Embry, I shook my head at Dad's teenager like mood swings, "I really have to go; I told Billy I would watch a game with him and if I don't go he would kill me." He first looked at Mom, kissing her on the cheek and turned to Josh still standing in the doorway, "Come on Bud." Dad dragged Josh who looked wishfully over his shoulder like he was about to miss his favorite show.

We sat in silence as we heard the rumble of the old truck back out of the driveway and fade in the distance.

"I'm really sorry Mom," I tried to break the uncomfortable silence.

She cleared he throat and glanced up at me, "I don't think this is really any of my business," she said standing up.

I stared at her confused and shocked. What was with all the" I'm disappointed in you"? What about all the glares?

"I don't understand," I managed to stutter out; "You said you were disappointed in me?"

"I am disappointed that I found you in that position when you just told me you didn't want to fall in love." I blushed at the memory; I didn't really have a chance to be embarrassed at my parents finding me making out.

Both Embry and I mumbled out apologies to her, I could tell by his quiet voice, which is usually loud, that he was just as embarrassed as I was.

She nodded, "Its not my decision for you though Carmella. This is between you and Embry," she said and got up and left into the kitchen.

I wasn't really sure what to say to Embry. I could hear his breathing and the shaking of his leg beside me and the heat radiating off his body, but he remained silent too.

"That was the best-"

"That was a mistake-"

We both spoke at the same time and I cringed at his words meeting mine. I silently played with my fingers too much of a coward to look into his dark eyes.

"What do you mean mistake, Carmella," he asked in a frantic voice.

"I mean," I glanced up at his similar eyes too his voice, "That it was a mistake that I kissed you."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean it was a-"

"Yeah, yeah," he waved his hands, "it was a mistake to kiss me, but why do you think it was a mistake?"

"I didn't mean too," I tried lowering my gaze down because of the intenseness in his eyes, but he lifted my chin up to look at him. "It was just a moment that my hormones took control," I mumbled.

He shook his head like it was a ludicrous idea, "No, it's because you love me. I could feel it."

I shook my head even though another part of me was nodding its head," You don't know that. How could I be in love with you even when we haven't even dated?"

"We have been friends for a long time now. It happens all the time friends falling in love with each other," He said.

I closed my eyes and breathed in a breath of fresh air, "I'm not in love with you Embry."

"Yes, you are, I could tell by the way you kissed me. You're just saying that because you're scared of falling in love with me," his eyes looked at me trying to get me to understand, but his voice sounded like he was trying to convince himself.

"I'm not in love with you Embry," I said through clenched teeth.

"You said yourself that you're scared to fall in love, I heard you," his hysterical voice almost shouted at me.

I just shook my head at all the confusing thoughts coming and going in my head. I just wanted to have time to think and everything seems so rushed, like someone set my life on fast forward when all it seemed to do was go at a slow rate. I just want to have time to think, shut myself off from the world to know what I want and what I don't want.

"Have you ever though I just don't want to be in love with you Embry," I gritted my teeth at my own words knowing it was like pouring salt into an open wound. I tried to think that this will make everything turn out for the better, but all I could hear was Embry's heavy intake of breath and his frenzied tapping of his foot stop all together.

I didn't realize I had my eyes closed till I opened them to see his eyes stunned and pained.

"I don't believe you," he shook his head, "You said you were scared to fall in love in general."

"I didn't necessarily say that, I just don't want to be in love with an imprint," I ground my teeth together at my last words knowing this was painful for him. I was hurting him.

"That's not true," he jerked me up off the couch with him; he started pacing in a small line in front of me. His fists clenched and unclenched, "All imprints eventually fall in love."

"They want to, I don't want to," I muttered.

He stopped and turned to me, getting so close up I could feel his heavy breathing roll off of me in waves, "You don't want to be in love with me? Are you sure you aren't just being immature about this?"

"I am only fifteen," I reminded him.

"I'm only sixteen, mentally," he added before I could say anything, "Yet I have to baby-sit you all the time, pulling drunk guys off of you," I flinched at the recent memory, but decided I deserved it, "making sure you don't get killed," I decided not to question that either… yet, "But yet, I still admit I have feelings for you and all you do is say you're scared to fall in love with me with a reason I know is in fact not true. If you would tell me why you're afraid, I bet I could help you better than anyone. But no, you won't tell me so there's a bunch of drama I know teenager girls like you feed off on," I cringed at being called just another teenager girl. I just stood there while he ranted, every insult hitting me like a thousand knives.

He walked to the door, opening it allowing a cool wind to blow through nipping at my skin, "Call me when you actually want to talk." He slammed the door behind him, the sound echoing off the walls in the room. Some of the picture frames shook.

I breathed in and breathed out; settling my shaking body onto the couch, trying to remind myself this is what I wanted.


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-GuardianAssassin