Once they'd dried off from the shower, they snuggled together back in bed, Emma as the big spoon, one arm under her head, the other wound neatly between her breasts. Regina could honestly not remember ever feeling so relaxed and content—and definitely not with another person. Even when she wasn't feared or despised, she'd never been at ease with most people. That's what she was thinking when Emma's stomach broke in with a grumble. "Wow. I heard that and felt that," Regina said. "When's the last time you ate?"
"I can't remember. I guess breakfast. Yesterday."
"I could magic us something from the fridge?"
"No, lets go old school and rummage around the kitchen in the middle of the night. Want to?"
"Yes, lets do that."
Regina pulled a couple nightshirts out of her drawer and handed one to Emma. "It's cold down there at night."
"Thanks," Emma said, pulling hers open and reading the words "It's Good To Be Queen" on her shirt. "No way. Where did you get this, Regina?"
"You like that Miss Swan? Henry gave that to me for my last birthday. We had a good laugh. I wear it to bed sometimes or on the treadmill."
"The treadmill? You run?"
"Yes, I've actually been trying to up my miles—I'd like to run a marathon this year." They headed downstairs, and Emma took a playful swat at Regina's adorably naked back side. "I run too. I've actually run a couple marathons. Running used to be my thing. Although not since I moved to Storybrooke. Hey! Maybe we could train together—if you're not too embarrassed to be seen with me."
Regina padded over the fridge, swung open the door, and rummaged through the contents. "Leftover pizza, lasagna, or I could whip us up a quick penne marinara? Oh, and there's ice cream in the freezer."
"Ice cream sounds amazing."
"Why would you think I'd be embarrassed to be seen with you?" she asked, pulling a pint of mint chocolate chip out of the freezer and setting it down on the counter.
"I don't know. We've done the whole hating each other thing for so long. I just didn't know if you'd be comfortable making that shift to—whatever we are—at least publically."
Regina stopped her pursuit of bowls and spoons. "Look, we're both Henry's moms and we were friends, or at least acquaintances, before Marian came to town. So I don't think running together is a big deal. And besides, who cares what anyone thinks?"
She squinted her eyes at Emma. "But that's not really what you're asking me, is it?"
"No."
"I feel like there's a lot of steps between here and there—wherever there is," she said, mindlessly scooping ice cream into a bowl while Emma took a seat on a stool. "I mean, first we need to decide this is what we both want and make sure we can both trust it, and then we'd—"
"Do we? I mean, I do. So much. Do you?"
Even in the lowly lit kitchen, Regina could see Emma's eyes were wide and swimming with uncertainty, but as she worked to construct an answer that did justice to her feelings, too much time went by in silence, and Emma's eyes suddenly dropped, her shoulders sagging.
"Do you know what? I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked you that. It's too soon. Who knows if this is even what you want. You probably want some time to think about it. I totally get that. "
And before Regina could calm the whirlwind that was Emma's frantic train of apologies and regrets, and she was suddenly moving toward the doorway and into the hall. Regina hurried after her. "Emma. Wait. Emma." But the blonde was already halfway up the stairs. "Dammit. Emma, stop!"
Emma froze in her tracks.
"Come back here please, Emma."
Emma shuffled down a few steps and stopped on the last one, plopping down on it unceremoniously.
"What the hell just happened?" Regina asked, genuinely confused how quickly ice water had been thrown on their contentedness. She hovered about 3 feet from where Emma sat, afraid if she got too close she'd spook her. "Emma, I want this. We've opened a door we can't close—I don't want to close it. I'm not going to reject you. This is real for me."
Emma's head shot up, her eyes brimming with unshed tears, but she didn't speak.
Regina took a tentative step toward her, and then another. "Emma, I have been alone for a long time. Not just alone. Lonely. This is my fortress of solitude, and it's only been Henry and my job as mayor that's kept me from giving in completely to self-loathing and despair. But you. This night. It's been the revelation of my life, and if you'll just indulge me, give me a minute to get my brain around it… I want you. So much."
A whine escaped from Emma's gut into the air, and she bridged the distance between them in a fraction of a second. "You do?" she whispered, one palm on each of Regina's cheeks.
"Yes. I do."
"Regina, I'm sorry I can be so insecure. Trusting is hard for me."
"It's ok. You have a lot of reasons to be wary of people, and most of them are my fault. And besides, I feel the same way. So we're just going to have to spend a lot of time reassuring each other."
"We can do that," Emma said. She kissed Regina then, putting everything she had—all the emotion she was feeling—into the kiss. She placed her hands on Regina's ass and pulled her legs around her and sat once again on the first step with Regina straddling her. They sat there, wound around each other kissing until they were both breathless.
"Emma, can't you feel how much I want you?"
"Yes, but I've learned not to trust what I see and even what I feel because I've lose so much. This night has been so intense—I just don't want to blow it and I don't want to lose this connection. I've never felt this connected to anyone. Ever."
She looked into Regina's eyes, trying to convey how much this meant to her.
"Want some melted mint chocolate chip ice cream?" Regina said, nudging Emma's nose with her own.
"Sure, got any hot fudge?"
"You're such a child," Regina said with a lopsided smirk.
"You love it."
"I think I do."
