Hi everyone! Hope you're all having a great week! I can't believe that June's almost ending; before I realize it, it's going to be school again. :( But we don't have to think about that now, because I have a new chapter up! However, I have one notice before I start. In this chapter, there is this one short scene that I think people will find more disturbing than usual, and that I myself would rate M. It is italicized and underlined, and if anyone wishes to skip it, you won't be missing out on much. (In fact, my two best friends caught me writing it in my notebook some time ago, and boy, you should've seen their faces. :D)
Also, if you've taken a quick glance at the chapter list, you may have noticed some strange letters added at the end. I've just added those, because I realized that in a three-arch story, it's easy to get confused and forget things between updates. Because of this, I have marked all my chapters with letters detonating which arch(s) it includes. Here's the key:
J = Jenny
En = Enclave (Mulan, Lucie, WordGirl, etc.)
KS = Kerry and Syrena
All = ...Well, all three archs. (Towards the end, this will also mean when all three come together.)
Hopefully this will help you to look back upon previous chapters if you're confused or just want to refresh your memory. This particular chapter is Jenny's, so feel free to reread the last few paragraphs of the last chapter if you want. *waits 5 seconds* Okay, let's get started!
St. Francis Preparatory College was nearly every parent's dream school. You could see it plainly, from the tidy and graffiti-free hallways, to the almost unnaturally green football field with perfectly trimmed hedges to match; from the entire room lined with cabinets filled with the academy's numerous athletic and academic awards, to the polite and disciplined mannerisms of the students (that is, until you looked the other way). It was a school filled with young men and women who respected authority, had well-grounded ideals and morals, and worked toward their aspirations to be upstanding individuals in society. These were the type of students you saw participating in after school activities, industriously studying at the library, and volunteering during monthly service fairs at the local parish. No one was caught slacking off or loitering in alleyways. You would be kicked out long before then, for St. Francis was especially diligent in uprooting any weeds that threatened the garden of its coveted reputation as one of the top private schools in the country.
This same mentality was also apparent in the students. When you walked into a classroom and asked what each student wanted to be, they would sit up rigidly straight, tuck in their shirts, and bombard you with a chorus of three words: doctor, lawyer, or professor. They were little more than mindless robots, trained for perfection and instilled with a desire to live up to whatever society asked of them without question. It was disturbing to say the least, yet somehow it fell right into alignment with what every parent could have desired from a school, and from the moment you scraped up a passing grade on their rigorous entrance exam and onward, they would constantly remind you of how lucky you were to be there.
But Jenny felt anything but lucky as she sat bored out of her mind as the Pledge and Prayer concluded on the PA system. She even went as far to flip to a blank sheet of notebook paper and absentmindedly doodle while their new math teacher, Miss Eldridge, took attendance.
"Margret Leona?"
"Present."
"Erin Lattice?"
"Present."
"Shannon Donella?"
"Present."
"Jennifer Swan?"
"Here!"
Immediately, 23 heads swiveled around simultaneously to openly gawk at Jenny.
For the love of Celestia, I just used a freaking synonym! Jenny thought to herself, amazed at their density, before returning to her detailed sketch of a dancing penguin wearing a top hat, not paying Miss Eldridge any of her attention or respect.
In all honesty, the only thing that saved St. Francis from falling into complete boredom in Jenny's eyes was its rumor mill, and it had been churning at lightning speed 24/7 ever since it had been confirmed that Miss Eldridge was taking the place of St. Francis' previous math teacher, Mrs. Walsh. From the cloudy circumstances regarding Mrs. Walsh's unexpected resignation to the fact that she had apparently been brought to St. Francis from a high-profile university overseas, Miss Eldridge's formerly ambiguous profile had been twisted by nearly every overly gossiping soccer mom into a bloody trail of violence, betrayal, and intrigue. According to them, Miss Eldridge had blackmailed Mrs. Walsh into resignation, was secretly working for Russian intelligence, and was – a sin above all others – Muslim.
And while Jenny didn't take their word seriously (after all, these were the same people who had brought her panicked news of the apocalypse during a particularly rainy summer storm), but she was far from liking her, and not just because she was her teacher. Whether it was her faded, dull hair that was more grey than blonde for a 25-year-old or her pinched and scrunched up face that gave the impression of a sour and irritable personality, accentuated by her sharp demands and plethora of evil stares, there was something about her that set Jenny on edge. While Miss Eldridge did seem off-kilter, to Jenny, she still represented the epitome of normalcy, a phenomenon she was constantly trying to repress. The only reason Jenny showed her even a glimmer of respect was the fact that she also had a part-time job as a police officer on the weekends.
Today, however, Jenny was completely oblivious to the Trigonometry lesson at hand, for she was too focused on scribbling yet another segment of her morbid thoughts in her notebook:
Sometimes, I like to play a game.
The objective is simple: Look around the room and think of as many creative ways to kill myself as possible.
With a pencil, I could easily gouge out my eyes before cutting through a few vital nerves on the way to stab the frontal lobe of my brain. A notebook's curled wire could constrict around my neck until I asphyxiated. A pair of scissors? Too easy. It could slit both of my wrists before finding its wonderfully sharp blade jammed within the inner chambers of my heart. A folder would be trickier, but rolled into a cylinder, it would be the perfect device to shove down my throat until I choked to death. Alone, a textbook and a classroom window could do little more than serve as a tool to bash out my brains, a rather uncreative demise, but combined, a textbook hurled into the window could provide just enough of an opening for me to hurl myself from the ledge, plummet four stories, and kiss the broken pavement with my bloodstained lips.
A thousand ways, a thousand possibilities, a thousand chances to meet my demise.
And I didn't have the courage to commit a single one of them.
"Hey, what's wrong, Jenny?" asked Addison in an undertone, her wide, concerned eyes taking up the majority of Jenny's vision. The sound of her friend's voice brought Jenny back to reality, and so she slammed shut the notebook, unable to let those gruesome words of death see the light of the life-giving sun. "You tuned out for a second. Are you okay?"
"Yeah," she replied, just barely suppressing the choked strangle in her voice as she forced out the lie. "Don't worry about me. I'm just fine."
"You failed the quiz today, didn't you?" said Lisa, clutching her textbooks to her chest as they walked out of 7th period Biology and joined the swarming mass of grey plaid skirts; solid black pants; ties; and neatly pressed, white collared shirts. They were all clamoring for the wide double doors leading into the parking lot just after the dismissal bell rang.
"No," Jenny retorted. "C is an average grade, not a failing one."
"Still, you'll never be able to get into Excelsia with grades like that."
Jenny sighed, exasperated. Located way out East in New York state, Excelsia was one of the most prestigious universities in the country, and was often considered a second-tier Ivy League school. With St. Francis being one of Excelsia's largest feeder schools, all any aspiring student talked about was 'Excelling' or 'going out East' the minute they walked out the doors with a diploma. It often felt to Jenny that her only two options after St. Francis was to either be accepted into Excelsia or to drop out, with her picture in the framed composite of her class being burnt away in shame.
"I just don't see why it's so important for me to go to Excelsia!" Jenny burst out loudly, but not enough to cause a scene.
"But your parents and everyone else wants you to go—"
"They don't have to make decisions for me," Jenny countered. "I have my own mind, my own hopes and dreams, and I can think for myself. I'm not stupid, Lisa!"
"But even with my intelligence, I don't understand you," Lisa replied with a sigh. "You want to prove that you're not stupid, yet you won't even try to be accepted in one of the most acclaimed universities in America."
"I… I just wish I could find a way to prove myself without having to go to Excelsia," Jenny said sadly. By this time, the two friends were outside with the other students. With a sigh, Jenny plopped herself down on one of the many open benches scattered throughout St. Francis' courtyard. "I don't want to become like everyone else, Lisa. I would die before that happened. Being forced to live a perfectly normal life… how would anyone ever notice me like that? Success or money wouldn't matter to me if I still went to bed at the end of the day and realized no one would really care if I never woke up. I want to prove that there is a way to be amazing without being smart or rich or famous."
"See, with you," Jenny continued, "you're really smart, Lisa. You know everything. Addison's so cheerful and upbeat, people can't help but love her. All I can do is paint. Sure, it's my special talent, but what good is it if it's never used for any good in the world? And that… that's really my dream, I guess. My parents say art will never help me amount to anything. Everyone else says so too, and I'm honestly starting to believe them. I just want to prove to everyone that I'm not useless. I want to do something extraordinary. I want to change the world, and I want to do it my own way, with my own dreams."
Lisa shook her head in pity as she took a seat next to Jenny. "It's not that simple, you know. One person can't change the world, no matter how unique you want to be."
"Well, what would you know about it?" Jenny replied defensively. "You want to go to Excelsia too, just like everyone else. And don't tell me it's because you've always wanted to. Don't you want to follow your own dreams?"
"Oh Jenny, you just don't get it, do you?" said Lisa. "You don't have to be famous or recognized to change the world, and it's not the only way to be unique or follow your dreams."
"I'm late for choir practice," Lisa added after taking a glance at her watch. "I'm sorry, Jenny, but I really have to go. We can talk more about this later, right? Besides, I think Jessica's waiting to say something to you." Lisa gestured to a nearby tree, where a young sophomore girl was standing and nervously fidgeting while she constantly shot glances at Jenny and Lisa.
Jenny gave a noncommittal grunt as Lisa sprinted toward the adjacent church, leaving Jessica to instantly take her place.
"Hi Jenny," Jessica said, her voice soft yet not shy in the slightest, sounding only as if someone had taken an assertive voice and simply lowered the volume. She was distinctly Asian, with her sharp, angular eyes a beautiful hazel, although somewhat obscured by her glasses with thick black frames. Her hair, which somehow managed to incorporate nearly every imaginable shade of brown, was twisted into a messy bun, held in place by two pencils. She didn't scream nerd, but she was pretty close. After all, this girl had serious brains. If Lisa was smart, Jessica was out-of-this-galaxy smart, straight into the far away universe of 'I-placed-12th-in-the-National-Scholastic-Bowl' and 'I'm-riding-on-a-full-paid-scholarship-at-St.-Fran cis-and-am-garantueed-a-top-spot-at-Excelsia' smart.
But Jenny paid no attention to any of this; after all, these little meetings had been going on for months now, making Jenny fully aware of Jessica's appearance and intellectual status. No, what interested Jenny more was the stack of neatly stapled papers in Jessica's hand.
"Come on, let's go someplace more secluded," Jessica said, leading Jenny away from the crowd of students milling around in wait for the bus until they were out of sight, hidden behind a wall of neatly trimmed hedges. Jessica was bursting with excitement, thrilled to be breaking the rules like this. Jenny, on the other hand, was sick of Jessica's bubbly antics.
"Jessica, cheating is not a freaking state secret," Jenny said, annoyed. "Half of the students here do it. Just hand them over already."
Jessica hung her head in silent shame and embarrassment before dolling out the papers. "Here's the research paper on the arctic tundra's ecosystem for Biology," she stated, "and these are this week's Trig assignments. Then here's that five paragraph essay on the aftermath of the American Civil War."
"Great," Jenny said as she handed Jessica a twenty-dollar bill. As always, Jenny was relieved Jessica was naïve enough to sell her work for such a cheap price; she knew some people who would charge 25 dollars for a single PowerPoint. "This should do for the month. I'll give you a list of other homework in about three weeks so you can get started."
Jessica was irritated by this rude, abrupt dismissal, but as always, being the compliant and non-confrontational person she was, she just kept her mouth shut and didn't complain.
"Now," Jenny said pleasantly, "all I have to do is catch the…" She suddenly trailed off heard the roaring engine of the school bus start up. Taking off at a sprint, she skidded to a stop at the front of the school just in time to see the bus turn the corner of the parking lot and drive out of sight.
"You have got to be kidding me!" Jenny shouted angrily just as Jessica caught up to her. In her frustration, Jenny immediately rounded on Jessica. "It's all your fault!" she vehemently accused. "If you weren't so worried about getting your precious little reputation sullied by being caught cheating, I wouldn't have missed it!"
"I'm sorry…" Jessica apologized meekly, her quiet, shaky voice trailing off into tears pattering steadily onto the concrete.
"I don't turn 16 until next month!" Jenny continued ranting, remaining completely oblivious to the apology. "I can't drive, and my parents are attending a conference this week! How am I supposed to get home now? Huh?! Tell me, Jessica!"
This was the final straw. Her eyes locked in steely rage, Jessica, confident and fearless, marched straight up to Jenny, swiped the plagiarized essays from her slack grip, and proceeded, to Jenny's horror, to shred them into halves, the quarters, then eights, before tossing them into a clump of dirty brown slush by the curb.
"What… what have you done?!" Jenny screamed after recovering from her initial shock at seeing the torn up answers.
"I'm done," Jessica declared, roughly handing Jenny back her twenty dollars as she forgot her previous reservations of self-control and let all her pent up anger and frustration explode like a volcano. Her voice steadily rose and rose until she was screaming herself hoarse. "I'm done doing this for you. You don't deserve to pass sophomore year, and you don't deserve my help. I'm not going to let you take advantage of me anymore. I'm going to find someone who appreciates my talents, who will get good grades honestly, and who isn't a horrid, rotten brat like you!"
"I… you… fine!" Jenny spluttered angrily before storming off in a huff, leaving Jessica looking hurt, frustrated, and above all, if it was still possible after their argument, concerned for Jenny. But these feelings where not reciprocated by Jenny, who was walking aimlessly towards the back of St. Francis with no particular destination in mind other than a place where she could find some peace of mind and justification for her actions.
That stupid, annoying Jessica, she thought to herself bitterly as she repeatedly kicked a stray soda can along the sidewalk path. Good riddance. It's not like I needed her anyway. I'll show her, I'll show them all. I don't need her or anyone else. I'll achieve my dreams all by myself. I'll do it for Rosalie, for Jacob, for Amoratta, and most of all myself, because I do deserve it. After all, I'm the Element of Love! How could I not? Most of all, I'll prove it wasn't a lie. What I saw, what I did, and who I am. I'm not crazy. I'll show them all; I do have a place in this world, one that's bigger than any of them could have ever dreamed.
Coming to an abrupt halt, with the world still blurred with tears of anger, Jenny sighed.
I just want to prove I'm not useless.
"Hey, Jenny!" called a friendly voice in the distance. Surprised, Jenny looked up to see none other than Nicole and Tess, the two London exchange students. They were lounging languidly on the hood of a sleek red convertible, one of the few cars left in the parking lot. Their uniform skirts were hitched up way past their knees, and their blouses had one too many buttons undone. As Jenny eagerly approached them, she coughed on the acrid fumes of… was it cigarette smoke?
"What's up?" Nicole called cheerfully, waving to Jenny as she held a cigarette in her hand. "Come sit with us," she added, making room for the newcomer.
At this invitation, Jenny hesitated, her gaze flipping back and forth from Nicole's expectant grin to the freshly lit cigarette in her hand. Oh God, they're going to get me to smoke, aren't they? Jenny began to panic and go on red alert as she remembered all those silly anti-drug posters she had drawn for art class during Red Ribbon Week. All those lectures about how just one would get her hopelessly addicted and ruin her life forever, and now it was finally happening.
"Um, a-actually, I h-have to go," Jenny stuttered, making up an excuse to leave the uncomfortable situation, just like her grammar school teachers had instructed her.
Confused, Nicole and Tess first looked at Jenny's nearly constipated-looking face and back at the cigarette as they slowly pieced things together. All of a sudden, Nicole collapsed into tiny fits of laughter.
"Oh dear," Nicole laughed once she was under control, wiping tears of mirth from her eyes. "Oh darling Jenny, we're not going to pressure you to smoke. What kind of people do you think we are?"
"Y-You're not?" Jenny said, horribly confused and yet relieved at the same time.
"Don't be silly!" Nicole trilled patronizingly in her British accent. "The only reason Tess and I are doing it is because we're emancipated, remember, which means we're legally adults. We'd never force you to do something you're uncomfortable with, and even if we did, you've just proven that you're a good little Catholic schoolgirl, and you wouldn't do it anyway. Now, stop being silly and come hang out with us!"
More than a little embarrassed, Jenny took her place on the hood of the car next to Tess, who gave her a small reassuring smile that made Jenny feel much better about her mistake.
"So, how was your first day at St. Francis?" Jenny asked politely.
"To be quite honest, it was most certainly boring," Tess said in elegant British. "All the students we talked to today all have the same dull, uninteresting ambitions, like they've all been programmed to think and feel the exact same way. Hopefully, we'll be able to kick back and have fun with you, Jenny, since you're practically the only one saving us from falling comatose with boredom."
Jenny nodded enthusiastically in agreement, glad that she had finally found someone who shared her views.
"Where's the rest of the crew?" Nicole asked after flicking the cigarette butt into a nearby ashtray. "Why aren't you with Addison and Lisa?"
"Lisa's at choir practice, and last I saw, Addison was waving goodbye to her sister on the bus before she went for tutoring," Jenny replied.
"Er, shouldn't you be on that bus, Jenny?" Tess pointed out. "You're not old enough to drive, you know. I thought that girl you were talking to would give you a ride or something. I guess not, though."
"Yeah, who was that girl?" Nicole chimed in. "Are you two friends?"
Immediately, all the former rage towards Jessica, rage that had been momentarily forgotten in her embarrassment, came boiling back to the surface with full force. "Her name's Jessica," Jenny spat bitterly. "I pay her to do my homework. She thinks we're friends, but she's just so desperate and pathetic. She only does it in the hopes that someone would finally like her, like that'll ever happen."
"Dang, girl, it sounds to me like you need to let off some steam," Nicole said. "Hey, Tessie and I were just talking about swinging by Temptation Paradise. It's one of our favorite nightclubs we've discovered by driving through Denver, and it's only about an hour's drive into the city. It's pretty tame, but it's a great place to just let loose and have fun. Do you want to come with us?"
Normally, every rational particle in Jenny's brain would be screaming to back out now, but today, all she wanted to do was screw the consequences and be a rebel for once. She was a big girl now; she could handle herself without anyone telling her what to do. And besides, Nicole and Tess would be with her the entire evening. Furthermore, they were the only way Jenny would be able to get a ride home, unless she had the gall to ask Jessica for one, something her pride would never allow to happen.
"I'm in."
Meanwhile, Jessica, her wide eyes trained on Jenny and her friends, finally surfaced from her secluded hiding place amidst the brambles of the hedges and ran off into the distance.
"She's doing what?!" Addison exclaimed in outrage after Jessica had recounted the highlights of her reconnaissance mission. Immediately after overhearing the conversation, Jessica had gone to round up Addison and Lisa from their after school activities so that they could convene at the front of the high school to relay information and discuss a course of action.
"Temptation Paradise is one of the roughest nightclubs in Denver," Lisa said. "Bar fights break out there nearly every night, and it's one of the largest centers of drug trafficking in the city. Everyone knows that. I can't believe Nicole and Tess would even consider hanging out there, much less bring Jenny along for the ride."
"If you ask me, there's something seriously wrong with those two," Addison declared, putting her hands on her hips. "They aren't the innocent London transfer students like everyone thinks. They're hiding something; I know it! And we're the only ones who know the truth, which means we're the only ones who can stop it." For a while, Addison paused, thinking intently of what she planned to do. With an air of finality in her decision, she said, "Come girls, let's move out!"
"Wait, me too?" asked Jessica nervously, fearful that she had overstepped her boundaries of yet another clique she would be ousted from.
"Well, of course you can come, if you want to," said Lisa, as if it were the most rational conclusion in the world. "After all, you're the one who told us about Temptation Paradise."
"Welcome aboard, Jessica," Addison said with a jaunty smile as she extended her hand, which Jessica confidently shook, her meek nature somehow overcome through the reassurance of loyal friends.
"Now that that's settled," Addison said, "Let's get moving, girls."
"Let's go save Jenny!"
Meh, I'd say this is an average chapter, a chance for things to slow down a bit while also setting up for future chapters. If you haven't already noticed, Jenny's acting much differently from Believing, that's to stay with the overall theme of this story, opposites and balance, which will become more prevalent as time goes on. So if you thinking I'm writing her out of character, don't worry, that's my goal.
Chapter 7 is coming next Wednesday, and to give you something to think about, it's called "Time Loop". Also, if anyone's wondering about why I haven't updated A Halfling's Tale, that's because the next (and last, I might add) chapter is in conjunction with Time Loop. So yeah, there'll be a double-update next week, and then I'll probably start cranking these out more often. So look forward to that!
Once again, I can't thank you guys enough for all your kind, wonderful reviews! It means so much to me to hear that people like what I'm writing. You guys are the best!
Love to all,
Bella
