Saving Bella

Disclaimer:

I own nothing save for the characters Maddelyne Cullen and Aubrie and Matthew Allen.

Rating:

M (R) for self-harm

Genre:

Romance/Angst (with just a liiiiiiiiittle hint of drama for good measure)

Pairing(s):

Bellisle & Maubrie (Matt/Aubrie)

Lyrics:

Lady Antebellum "Need You Now"


Need You Now

It's a quarter after one

I'm all alone and I need you now

Said I wouldn't call but I've lost all control

And I need you now

And I don't know how I can do without

I just need you now

I can hear Bella's voice coming from the upstairs bedroom. It's scarcely above a whisper but her words put me in a tough place, mentally. All my life, I've always been the one to stay out of other people's lives. I've always stayed out of things like this. But, this was different. I knew my brother had to have been devestated when she left and it's obvious that she feels the same way. So, now, I must decide. Do I get involved? Or do I stay out of it like I always have? This is going to be a tough decision.

"You have to tell him." Damn Matt. I sometimes have to wonder why I ever changed him in the first place. He's always weasling his way inside my head at the worst possible times. "I know what you're thinking and he's your brother. You have to tell him that she's here and that she feels the same way for him as he does for her." I know Matthew's right. But, it's still tough. "If you don't tell him, yourself, I'll do it for you."

"Damn you and your ultimatums." I can't help smiling at his mischievous grin. Sighing, I concede "I know you're right but-" I stop midsentence when the smell of human blood catches both my attention and Matt's. "Bella." We start in unison. Matt runs for the phone and I run for Bella.

Running up the stairs, I'm in Bella's bedroom in a flash. The sight in front of me shocks me to core. Bella's lying on the floor in a puddle of her own blood. The smell is overwhelming. Coming back to my senses, I grab her up in my arms and race back down the stairs where Matt is waiting for me.

"I already called the hospital. I'll get her in the truck." Taking Bella from me, Matthew hands me my phone. "You call your brother." Heading out the door, my husband calls over his shoulder. "Tell him to meet us at the hospital."

Nodding my head, my hands tremble as I dial my brother's number. This would not go well. I listened as the other of the line rang twice before my brother's voice came on the line. "Aubrie?"

"Carlisle." I pause, searching for the words. How could I tell him that the woman he loved had tried to kill herself out of guilt? My brother pressed onward.

"Aubrie? What's going on? What's wrong?" Damn him! Carlisle's always known when something was bothering me. Let's just get this overwith.

"Carlisle...She's here." I began. I'm still not quite sure how to convey what I have to tell him.

"Bella? She's there? In Wichita?" I can hear Carlisle's voice change. I can hear the concern and just a little trace of hope in his voice. What I say next breaks my heart.

"Carlisle...Yes, Bella is here in Wichita..." I take a needless steadying breath as I added "Carlisle...There's something you should know...Bella's been feeling...rather guilty...about what happened between the two of you. She's feeling guilty and confused about what happened. She's...irrevocably in love with you...But, at the same time, she feels like you'll end up thinking that kissing her was a mistake and she's also terrified that she's ruined your marriage with Esme."

"What? Aubrie, Bella didn't ruin anything! She saved me! I'm sure you of all people saw what a mess I was when the others left! I don't know what would have become of me if Bella hadn't been there! I love her! I need her! I'm on my way!"

"Carlisle!" In my mind, I can see my brother jump at the edge in my voice. "There's something else you need to know." My brother's silence cues me to continue. "Carlisle...Bella, slit her wrists. Matt and I smelled the blood and raced in to her bedroom and I saw her...Lying there on the floor in a puddle of her own blood." I hear my brother choke out a sob as I continued. "Matt's taking her to the hospital where I work. You can meet us there." Before I hang up, I add "Carlisle. I wouldn't drive if I were you. Bella needs you now. There's a flight leaving Forks in half an hour. I suggest you get your ass on it! I'll have a driver waiting for you when you arrive. When you get here, tell the driver to take you to Wesley Medical Center at 550 North Hillside. I'll see ya when ya get there."

Hanging up the phone, I race out the door, following my truck and jumping in the bed. I can't take the time to think about my brother or how he might be handling this latest blow. Pulling my phone out, I call a friend of mine to meet Carlisle at the airport.


It's been almost two days since Bella left. I still can't believe she would up and leave me this way. I'm pulled from my thoughts when my phone rings. Looking at the screen, I see Aubrie's name on the caller ID.

"Aubrie?" I'm not sure why my sister would be calling me, this late.

"Carlisle." She pauses. I know she's searching for words. This alarms me. Aubrie is never at a loss for words. I can't possibly imagine why she would be so spechless.

"Aubrie? Aubrie, what's going on? What's wrong?" I have to get to the bottom of this. Even if I don't like what she has to say, I have to find out what my sister is hiding.

"Carlisle, she's here." In that moment, I know Aubrie's talking about Bella. Why would Bella be in Wichita? I don't have time to figure that out. I can tell that Aubrie didn't call just to tell me that Bella was in Wichita.

"Bella? She's there? In Wichita?" My mind is racing with questions and scenarios and other mindless thoughts.

"Carlisle...Yes, Bella is here in Wichita..." Aubrie began. I can tell Aubrie's not heading anywhere good with this. "Carlisle...There's something you should know...Bella's been feeling...rather guilty...about what happened between the two of you. She's feeling guilty and confused about what happened. She's...irrevocably in love with you...But, at the same time, she feels like you'll end up thinking that kissing her was a mistake and she's also terrified that she's ruined your marriage with Esme."

Well this doesn't sound too horrible. Yes, I do feel terrible that Bella would think that I could view kissing her as a mistake, but this is nothing like all the terrifying scenarios that were racing through my head. "What? Aubrie, Bella didn't ruin anything! She saved me! I'm sure you of all people saw what a mess I was when the others left! I don't know what would have become of me if Bella hadn't been there! I love her! I need her! I'm on my way!"

"Carlisle!" I can't help jumping involuntarily at the sharp edge to Aubrie's voice. Now, I know that something's really wrong. "Carlisle...Bella, slit her wrists. Matt and I smelled the blood and raced in to her bedroom and I saw her...Lying there on the floor in a puddle of her own blood." In that instant, my whole world shatters. I cannot believe what I just heard. I can't believe Bella tried to kill herself. "Matt's taking her to the hospital where I work. You can meet us there." This is all happening so fast. I feel as though I've just been sucker punched out of nowhere. I can't breathe-I can't even think. "Carlisle. I wouldn't drive if I were you. Bella needs you now. There's a flight leaving Forks in half an hour. I suggest you get your ass on it! I'll have a driver waiting for you when you arrive. When you get here, tell the driver to take you to Wesley Medical Center at 550 North Hillside. I'll see ya when ya get there."

As I hang up the phone, time seems to freeze for a moment. Bella slit her wrists. She tried to take her own life. What would have happened had Aubrie and Matthw not been there? What would have become of Bella had Aubrie not found her and taken her home, in the first place? I shake my head as I realize I don't have time to work things out in my head. I take off out the door toward the airport. Upon my arrival, I purchase a ticket for the flight which Aubrie told me about.

Making my way through security, I mindlessly follow the crowd to the gate. Once on the plane, I find my seat and just slump down into it. Looking around, I see people buzzing all around me. Some excited to go see family. Some stressed about work. Some are just off in their own world. Laying my head back, I attempt to clear my head until the woman next to me speaks.

"Are you okay?" The feminine voice is kind and friendly. I might have appreciated it more under any other circumstances. As it was, I just put forth my best effort at courtesy.

"Yes. I'm fine." I thought the woman was just making polite conversation. However, she continued to press the issue.

"You're lying." She must have taken my strange look as a cue to continue. "Your body language gives you away. I can tell you're really freaked out about something." She offered a kind smile as she pressed on. "Might do ya some good to talk about it. Get it off your chest."

With a heavy sigh, I know she won't go away that easily. "Look...miss. The woman I love-we'll call her Ella, for sake of conversation-left me when she believed I would think that falling for her would be a mistake. You see, my wife left me after-after our son passed away and Ella has been the only one to stand by me after my son's passing. I realize that I am in love with her and I kissed her the other night. However, she believes that my wife will come back to me and that she has ruined any chances I had at reconciling with my wife. So, after I kissed her, she left town. As it turns out, I got a call from my sister-we'll call her Aria-in Wichita, informing me that Ella is with her and her husband in Wichita and that Ella has slit her wrists because of this mess. So, please forgive me if I prefer to keep to myself on this flight."

I feel bad for being rude to this kind stranger, but, I really don't feel like discussing the matter any further. I just desperately need to see Bella. I have to know that she's okay. Then, the kind stranger makes one final gesture.

With a gentle hand on my arm, she replies "I understand. And I'm terribly sorry. I can see how much you love this woman and I truly hope everything turns out okay." Removing her hand from my arm, she turns away leaving me to my thoughts.

So do I, miss...So do I. As the plane takes off, I can't help but thinking how this whole mess was entirely my fault. If I hadn't kissed Bella, she wouldn't have felt the need to leave and she wouldn't feel so guilty as to try to kill herself. But, even this thought can't bring me to regret kissing her. Kissing Bella was the single most exhilerating experience of my entire exsistence. The moment that her lips met mine, I felt truly alive for the first time in centuries. My hand mindlessly reaches for my lips as I relive the moment in my mind.

But, the sobering reality of the situation settles back in. Another thought races through my mind. I should have never let her leave. I should have talked to Bella. If I had only made her see that she means everything to me and that she hadn't ruined anything, she wouldn't feel so guilty. She wouldn't have been so upset by the whole mess.


Matthew and I are in the waiting room anxiously awaiting my brother's arrival. We've been waiting for hours. In my impatience, I had already spoken with the doctors who had assured me that, while Bella had lost a considerable amount of blood, they had been able to stabilize her and that she would, in deed, make a full recovery.

"He'll be here, soon." Matthew's trying to comfort me and I know he's right. I still just can't help feeling on edge. Finally, I hear the doors bust open as Carlisle comes running into the waiting room.

In his hurry, he ran right past me and Matthew up to the front desk. "Bella Swan!" He demanded. I run up to him and calm him with my hand on his shoulder. Something that worked even when we were human.

"It's okay, Jenna. He's with me." After dismissing the attention of the receptionist, I take Carlisle over to where Matthew and I had been waiting.

"Aubrie! What's going on? Where is she? Where's Bella? Is she okay? Will she be all right?" Carlisle's panicking. This is new to me. Carlisle's always been the level-headed one in the family. It takes a lot to make him panic this way.

"Relax, Carlisle. You can stop freaking out, now. Bella's going to be fine. She did lose a considerable amount of blood, yes. But, the doctors were able to stabilize her and they have assured me that she will, in deed, make a full recovery." I see my brother relax as I inform him that Bella will be okay. "She's still resting, but, you can go see her." Taking his arm, I lead Carlisle down the hall to Bella's room.


Aubrie found me at the desk where I had inadvertantly terrified the poor receptionist. I saw the fear in her eyes and-looking back-I feel horrible for scaring the poor woman that way. But, at the moment, I have more pressing matters to deal with. I do, however, relax when I hear that Bella will make a full recovery.

With a sigh of relief, I follow as Aubrie leads me to the room where Bella was resting. Walking through the door, my heart breaks all over again. I know, in my head, that she will be okay. But, I also know that she is here because of me and that kills me. I know that this is entirely my fault.

I hear Aubrie make a discreet exit as I approach Bella's bedside. I take Bella's hand in mine as I use the other to gently stroke a loose strand of hair from her beautiful and delicate face. "Bella. I am so terribly sorry." I begin apologizing for everything, hoping against hope that she will forgive me. Even if she doesn't wish to persue a realtionship with me, I still need to have her in my life in some capacity. Even if only as a friend, I still need her. I cannot lose her entirely. "I never meant to make you feel this way. I never meant for you to think that you had ruined anything because you didn't. You, in fact, saved me. I don't know what would have become of me had you not come to see me when Maddelyne called you." I begin to confess everything that I had been feeling lately. "I was in a terrible place, then. But, you...You pulled me back. You made me feel truly alive for the first time in centuries. The moment I kissed you, I felt alive for the first time since I came into this...exsistence. Bella..." I know that this could be my only chance to confess my true feelings for this beautiful woman before me. "I love you."