Kon smugly strutted onto the stage. He wore a look of satisfaction on his face.

"Today is a very important day," he declared, leaning into his microphone. He paused for dramatic effect and ignored the multiple eye rolls in the audience. "Today is the day I win!"

Beside him, Nel frowned. "No you're not. Itsygo is."

"Hah! That fool isn't even a man! It's obvious that I'm the alpha male here!" Kon jabbed his paw to himself multiple times, proudly holding his head high.

After a moment of silent, Nel cocked her head to the side in deep though. "But ya not a man either. Ya don't even have a dick."

Kon immediately deadpanned. In the audience, Ichigo had angrily got up and was yelling at Pesche and Dondochakka, her supposedly 'brothers'. "What are you teaching this kid?!"

Kon slowly recovered with an awkward cough. "How dare you defile my beautiful sexy body?! Enough! No more stalling, open the results so everyone can see just how amazing I am!" He went on and on with his speech about 'how glorying and awesome he was'.

Someone in the audience muttered, "Who's the idiot that made him host?"

Meanwhile, Nel had opened the envelope. Her face immediately broke into a bright smile. "Da winner is Itsygo!" She jumped up and down and the paper fluttered to the floor.

Kon, who still had not finished his rant, finally stopped. "W-w-what? Let me see that!" He grabbed the paper off the floor. His eyes darted back and forth as he read it in black and white. "This can't be!"

Suddenly, triumphant music went off and confetti rained down onto the stage. The camera zoomed in on Kon's awestruck face as little bits and pieces of colorful confetti fluttered in the air. A slightly irritated, yet flustered, Ichigo walked up to the podium. Nel giddily hopped onto his back with the award plaque in hand. He sighed but ignored her.

"Um, thanks.. I guess. It's not everyday you get a plaque of yourself," he chuckled. "It looks like there's an honorable mention tonight too?" he looked at Nel questioningly.

"Yup, someone named Hanataro Yamada!" she confirmed.

A surprised Hanataro jumped up and fumbled as he bowed deeply. "U-u-um, I didn't expect this. But thank you.." He smiled. Everyone cheered for him. Then someone clapped him on the back, making poor Hanataro fall and effectively ending his short speech.

But no one was more surprised that Hanataro had managed to get an honorable mention than Kon. With veins popped, he pointed an accusing finger at Hanataro. "Traitor! To think I was all chummy with you during all those Shinigami Illustrated Picture Books! You're not even a real man! You're a sissy!"

Ichigo casually walked past him, ignoring his angry rant. Nel, who was still perched on his back, said, "More manly den you."

The last bit of sanity Kon had left abruptly left his small, plush body. Noba had to drag his body away.

"Oh yeah, this week's category is Favorite Division!" Nel quickly added before disappearing backstage.

Sorry if this is a little rushed! I have a lot of homework to do! Anyways, don't forget to favorite, follow, and review. You can vote for any division (0-13). Please note that this isn't specifically an award for the captain, just the entire division itself. Thank you for reading. Big thanks to everyone who has reviewed so far, I LOVE YOU GUYS.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything but the Bleach Awards.