"Ah, Buffy, I wanted to—"
The slayer had blown into the library, just as she always did, but instead of lighting on the edge of a convenient desk, she went straight to the cage where he kept all the "good weapons".
Eyes blazing, she shot a dozen arrows straight into the nearest poster, almost mindless of where it hit.
Cautiously, Giles approached the enraged slayer and asked, "Buffy? Are you alright?"
Buffy had launched another half dozen arrows into the poster before responding. "Alright? Why wouldn't I be?"
"Well, uh, the first thought that comes to mind is you're shooting a poster which promotes reading."
She looked at the poster on the wall and there were now eighteen nicely shaped holes spattered across the covers of Hamlet and Lord of the Flies. "They were stupid books anyway," she mumbled.
Giles stifled a smile and said, "Anything particularly, uh, 'hellmouthy' I believe is the term."
Buffy's mood had to lighten after that. "Well, no. Just, a typical day in the land of Buffy. Just stick a creek by my house and call me Dawson, why don't you."
The librarian pondered the comment, briefly wondering if an increase in the mosquito population had anything to do with her outburst before giving up with yet another unfamiliar pop culture reference. "Well, I-I'm available to hear it. If your academic schedule permits, of course."
Buffy looked up at the clock that seemed to grace the deserted library only for decoration. Middle of fifth, she realized absently. "Nope, not a class for another ten minute at least." Then she took a deep breath and recalled what had happened just a few minutes prior.
The room held a restful feeling, something that she herself had never really experienced on school grounds outside of Giles's domain. Something that Willow never had any trouble soaking up by the gallon, she thought absently, sinking into a desk near the back.
As if summoned by her thoughts, something not entirely impossible on the hellmouth, Willow and Xander walked into the class, joking with one another.
Briefly, she remembered what it was like to be one of them, to be joking about everyday things, acting as she had before she was called. To be one of the guys. But then she remembered how naive she had been. No matter how hard she tried, she never really fit in. There was always this gap that they all tried to ignore. She, because she wanted to believe so badly, they because they wanted to forget. But it was always there.
She looked away from them, but Xander seemed not to take the hint. He sat down in the desk in front of her and spun around in the seat. "Hey, Buff."
Buffy glanced briefly at the dark ring around his eye that still hadn't quite faded. She turned away to hide a smirk.
Xander took it to mean she was ashamed and his confidence was bolstered. "Look Buff, I know what happened the other day was a big emotional spit wad," he whispered conspiratorially, leaning in closer, "But a lot of it was just said in the heat of the moment. And I just wanted you to know that I'm over it. I know that things between Angel and I were never the best, but it's over and done with. Nothing you or I can do will change the past now. I really miss our friendship and...well, I guess what I'm trying to say is that I forgive you."
Buffy whipped her head around at those three words. What she saw was Xander looking at her like he was the biggest person on the planet and expected an extra dog treat. "WHAT!"
"I know it's a lot to take it," he went on sagely, "I didn't really understand it until my third can, but Buff, we used to be such good friends and--"
"Xander. You. Are. A. Dumbass," Buffy told him quite calmly. "I don't want your 'forgiveness'. You are in no position to play the forgiver. And FYI? I hate that name. One more syllable, is it really taking that much of your time to say? Buff-y. That's my name. I don't want to hear it come falling past your twinkie-tainted lips again."
Xander and Willow watched in shock as their (officially) former best friend walked out of the class. Neither of them had heard Buffy utter profanity and such strong words coming from her so calmly...they had heard others faced with that tone, but never had they been on the receiving end of her wrath.
Coming back to reality, Buffy didn't look troubled, quite the opposite, her expression could even be called jubilant. She startled Giles with the first genuine laugh she had uttered since 'The Incident'. She must've caught the questioning look on his face and explained, "You should've seen their faces, Giles! Xander turned completely white. For the first time in a long time I felt...free. It's ironic, isn't it? The people that I depended to give me normal freedoms that every girl had may have done their job after all; but only in dumping them could that have happened. I feel like chains have been lifted now I don't have to worry about what they think."
"I-I don't understand, Buffy. Willow and Xander, they may be incredibly immature and Xander was certainly out of line, but do they deserve your hatred?" Giles wondered, looking at this newly transformed girl in front of him.
Buffy shook her head. "I don't hate them, that's what I've realized. I just finally see them. I pity them. Their just delusional teenagers like everyone else. I thought they had more experience, but it turns out they're just like all the others in this blind town. You and Ms. Calendar might be the only people I can fully trust."
Giles thought guilty back on the night before.
"Jenny!"
Giles ran blindly after her, the unfamiliar surroundings passing him by. He finally came to a pair of sliding glass doors where one of the panels had been carelessly slid back. He spared no glance at the glowing garden, instead his gaze was locked on the woman sobbing miserably on the bench. He went forward, through the doors and after a swift, silent debate, didn't put his hand on her shoulder.
"Jenny, I--"
The young woman jumped and hurriedly wiped her eyes. "Rupert! I'm so sorry! I--this isn't about me. I know it sounds like I'm using it as an excuse to get out of things...and I don't want your sympathy, I deserve everything that you throw at me, bringing in all this just clouds everything. I don't want that, I just...I wanted to be honest."
Giles looked down at her tear-stained face and said, "Jenny, I'm only human. There is an inevitable response to what you said, there has to be. It might make me a less objective person for it, but I'm glad you told me what you did."
Hope shined through her face.
He had to admit, seeing such the confident woman whose teasing was only rivaled by Buffy and who was constantly doing or saying something that caused him to bluster more than usual, was unnerving. "I must admit that my trust in you is a bit shaken, as to be expected, but it doesn't ignore the fact that I do care a great deal for you and you did have good intentions for you actions. I understand that it must've been...very difficult to go against your upbringing. And I respect that. I respect you. I am not going to-to scold you or yell. What I will do is give you another chance."
"Rupert...I..."
"I only ask that you do my one favor."
Jenny nodded vigorously, "Of course! Anything."
Giles face changed to one of trepidation. "Don't-don't tell Buffy. In her state of mind, I don't believe she'll be able to forgive quite so easily."
Now she fully understood how difficult this was for him. Just as she had gone against her upbringing to deliberately go against what her people had told her all her life, so was he. His entire being was focused on the safety of the slayer, a girl he loved like his own daughter. And she had jeopardized it more than vampires or demons ever had. It was his right and duty to punish her to his discretion, yet he did the exact opposite and gave her a second chance. She had never felt so humble in her entire life. "Rupert.." she breathed.
He didn't meet her eyes. "Promise me?"
"I--of course. I won't say a word," she swore. "Thank you."
Giles smiled at her with relief and gave her a tiny nod. "Of course. Now must be getting home, Buffy is frantic in her quest to hunt down Spike. I should get to researching. Thank you for the delicious dinner. And it seems you were absolutely correct, the garden is simply enchanting."
With those words and a smile, he left her staring after him on her back porch, completely shocked at the role reversal. Now she was the one bumbling along and he was the confident one. Jenny unconsciously rubbed her cheek and the blush that caused it to glow.
Giles had no doubt in his mind that his actions were the right ones, but it didn't mean he wasn't guilty about his betrayal to Buffy. He knew that in time she would forgive Ms. Calendar as well, but it really wasn't his place to do what he had done.
He hurried to assure her of his loyalty, but she had already moved onto another topic. "Giles, I think I'm just going to go after Spike tonight. There's nothing holding me back, save lack of information, but I'm ready. I am. I need to do this, I don't think I'll be able to let go if I don't."
Her watcher's first instinct was to argue, tell her she wasn't ready and she shouldn't go into battle so recklessly. But he didn't. Because despite her temerity, Buffy was almost always serious in battle, putting the utmost concentration into what she was fighting. She didn't fight just to win, she fought for a cause and it was her idealism that made her such an effective fighter. All the past slayers had lost that somewhere over the course of their training, but Buffy's undying spirit kept her fighting for something. And if Angel's life wasn't a cause worth fighting for, GIles honestly couldn't say what was.
"Alright Buffy. Tonight I'll accompany you to the crypt, but I won't actively participate in the battle unless it's necessary. I will merely quietly take out the lower minions and let you go for Spike. Be wary of Drusilla, she may be insane, but her mental deterioration does nothing to hinder her skills as a master vampiress."
"Yes, Giles," Buffy drolled, rolling her eyes.
Maybe he should've been put out by her blatant disregard for his warnings, but truth be told he was rather pleased to see the old Buffy shining through.
"I don't have to tell you to be careful, do I?" Giles asked, still perpetuating the part of the dutiful watcher.
Buffy just gave him a familiar grin and responded, "Me? I'm invincible. But yes, I'll be careful Daddy Giles."
They shared a few more moments of healthy banter before Buffy left for what was left of fifth period French, feeling much better than she had in a long while.
I'll avenge you yet, Angel, she called out silently, I'll make you proud.
First I just wanted to shout out a big THANKS! to all the people that reviewed, especially the ones that gave long reviews, though the short ones just make my day. When I get long reviews, it just makes me really want to update sooner, it's this odd feeling. Just to address some issues, I will NOT make it a short sappy ending, it would be really random if one day Buffy popped up in Angel's office and they had some wild, crazy...reunion. It just wouldn't fit the mood, so rest assured I won't get impatient and just cut it short.
Ok, so the chapter's shorter and maybe even boring, but very necessary. No Angel just because I was much better about "wrapping things up". You'll see what I mean.
Oh yeah, REVIEW!
