Chapter Seven

"Wh...what are you doing here, Sandy?", Kirsten sputtered.

Sandy ignored the question, the cold words he overheard her saying to Ryan swirling in his head. "What phone calls, Kirsten?"

At the same time, Seth asked angrily, "Ryan left messages for me? What the fuck, mom?"

Kirsten swung her head to Seth, "Watch your language, Seth. I mean it".

"Fuck you, mom", Seth challenged coldly. "I can't believe you've been lying all this time".

"Don't you dare talk to me like that", Kirsten said, stepping toward Seth, hand poised for a slap.

Sandy grabbed her arm just as Nurse Hamilton erupted.

"Enough! All of you, out! NOW!", Rachael yelled. She rushed over to Ryan who had closed his eyes tightly at the raised voices and escalating tension. She'd noticed his hands clenching and pulling against the soft restraints and could see a spot of red on the bandage wrapping his injured hand. She reached out and gently covered his hand with hers and whispered, "Ryan, honey? You need to relax. You're hurting yourself". She gently caressed his clenched fist, trying to coax it open. "Come on, honey. You need to relax your hand...", she said softly as she took off the restraints. He opened his eyes at the soft voice and his breathing started to even out. "That's it, darlin'", Rachael said with a smile.

The Cohens had quieted at Rachael's outburst. Sandy paled at the sight of Ryan. He started to move toward him offering apologies, which set Kirsten off again.

"For christ's sake, Sandy. Stop treating him like he's helpless. He knows exactly what he's doing", Kirsten said. "Yes, he called you for help a couple of months ago. Yes, he called and left messages for Seth. Don't you see? You said he hadn't asked you for a thing. That's because I stopped him. He's wanted something from you all along..."

Rachael noticed Ryan tense again. She pursed her lips and left his side. "I think you all need to leave this room...this hospital...and deal with your...drama. Ryan needs his rest and he sure as hell doesn't need to listen to all of this", she said as she went to usher them all out of the room. "I shouldn't have allowed you in here in the first place. Out now!", she said firmly, herding them all into the hall before turning her sole attention to Kirsten. "And you. I allowed you to con your way in on the pretense that you were worried about Ryan. That was my mistake. A mistake I won't allow anyone else to make. You stay away from that boy. If you set foot on this floor again security will be at your side so fast your head will spin. I assure you. Now get out."

"Wait", Seth spoke up. "Can I stay and talk to Ryan? I won't upset him. I swear. Please, I...I need to talk to him. Just for a minute", he asked in a rush.

Kirsten answered before Rachael could speak. "No, Seth. You can't. We're going home to settle this once and for all".

Seth narrowed his eyes and said in a low voice, "I'm not going anywhere with you." He turned to his dad. "I'm not going home. I don't want to be in the same house with her. Take me to a hotel or something. A motel even. Under a bridge. Anywhere but home with her."

Sandy looked at Seth and sighed. "I understand how you feel, Seth, but we're not going to a hotel."

"Fine, but I'm staying in the pool house", Seth said firmly with arms crossed in defiance.

Sandy nodded, "Fine, Seth". He was tired of fighting. He took a deep breath and turned to Rachael. "Look, I'm sorry for all of this but I'd like to speak to Ryan before we go. Please. I can't...I can't leave it like this. I need him to know that none of this is his fault. I need to make sure he's all right".

"Sandy...", Kirsten started to say.

Sandy held up a hand. "Go home Kirsten. It's late. We'll talk in the morning."

"Sandy", Kirsten pleaded. "Come home with me now. We'll work it all out. I'm sorry I lied but I was only trying to protect you and Seth".

"For God's sake, Kirsten. Just stop. We're going in circles. Just...just go home. Seth and I will be home in a little while", Sandy said as he tiredly rubbed a hand down his face.

Rachael rolled her eyes as they started bickering again. She didn't have time for this nonsense. She went back in to see to Ryan.

"Sandy, please. Come home with me now", Kirsten pleaded. In her mind, Sandy was choosing Ryan over her.

"We'll be home, soon, Kirsten. I want to make sure Ryan is all right. He's got no one", Sandy said, feeling like a broken record.

"He's fine, Sandy. He's got that nurse. She'll look after him. Didn't you hear me before? He called, Sandy...and he called Seth time and time again. You said he hasn't asked you for anything but it hasn't been for lack of trying", Kirsten said.

"He wanted help, Kirsten. That's all. He had nowhere to turn", Sandy once again tried to explain.

Kirsten scoffed, "There are plenty of people he could have gone to. You heard him earlier. He's been through all of this before. He doesn't need you, Sandy. What is it about this boy that has you so willing to disregard my feelings. So ready to risk our marriage. Our family."

"The only threat to our marriage is you", Sandy said angrily. "I don't know who you are anymore. You're not the woman I married. Moving to Newport after your mother died was a mistake. The moment we came here the woman I loved started to disappear."

"Don't be ridiculous. I'm the same person I always was", Kirsten said, although she knew it wasn't true. Deep down she knew she was different away from this place. Away from her parents oppressive control. Away from their constant criticisms. Coming back to help with her sick mother was the last thing she had wanted to do but what kind of person would she be if she refused to help her dying mother? So she'd done her duty as a daughter. She tended to her needs at her beck and call. She endured her lashing out in fits of frustration at her failing body. She sat by her bedside day after day, silently taking whatever she dished out. Her mother got weaker and weaker but her tongue never lost its bite and she felt powerless to respond to the endless negativity that poured from her lips as she watched her wither away. She listened to reminders of the disgrace she had caused them for getting pregnant by Jimmy. Belittling comments about her running away to school like a coward and comparisons to the way Jimmy had toughed it out and stayed and become a well respected family man. She listened to insults about her husband and even her son when her mother was in true form. She sat and took it all, guilt mixed with hate as she waited for the day her mother fell silent for good. She was relieved the day it finally happened and she felt like a horrible person for feeling it. Her father had loved her mother and she could see his grief, and each time she did she felt worse and worse for not feeling the loss to any deep degree herself. He had started working on her the second she set foot back in Newport, trying to get her to move back, despite his dislike for Sandy. She'd resisted his attempts at first but his and her mother's constant barrage had wore her down and she'd reverted back to the girl who had let them take her child from her. At the same time, though, she had started to become more and more bitter. Bitter about them being the cause of her losing her first love and her first child. Bitter at seeing Jimmy so happy with Julie and the child he'd decided to have with her, after so easily signing away the child they'd created. So while guilt initially spurred her to give in to her father and stay in Newport, she also saw opportunity when the house next to the Coopers came on the market.

"No, Kirsten. You're not. You're a shell of the woman I married. A cold empty shell", Sandy said sadly. "The woman I married would want to help this boy. She would want to do for someone else's son what she'd want done for hers if it was him in that bed, with no one to turn to".

"I told you to stop comparing him to my child, Sandy. He's not my child. Wherever he is, my child is fine!", Kirsten said, her anger letting the words slip out uncensored. "He's being taken care of!"

Seth's brow furrowed in confusion. Wherever he is. What the hell did she mean by that? I'm right here, he thought. He's being taken care of? Huh?

"What are you talking about, Kirsten?", Sandy asked calmly before his brain started making the connections. He'd heard whispers and gossip when they moved to Newport but he didn't pay attention. People talked and things got twisted as they went through the grapevine. He thought it was just idle gossip. He knew that Jimmy was her high school sweetheart and he knew that things had ended badly between them from the few things she'd let slip when they were first going out but he felt that surely she'd have told him if they'd had a child. It appeared that he had been wrong.

She looked at Sandy and saw the recognition in his face. Her breath hitched. "Go ahead, Sandy. Tell me I'm no better than Ryan's mother. I left my child", she said as tears welled in her eyes. "I don't even know where he is...if he's ok...if he's even still alive. What kind of mother am I?, she sobbed.

Sandy moved toward Kirsten, finally gaining some understanding at her actions since Ryan came into their lives. He represented what she'd lost. What she'd given away.

Kirsten stepped back and said, "Don't. Don't look at me like that. I know what you're thinking. I know what you're both thinking...I gave my son away and I didn't look back..."

"So, it's true. You and Jimmy had a child...", Sandy calmly stated.

Seth stood looking back and forth between them, stunned. He had a brother. Jesus and Moses, he had a brother. "Wait, you and Jimmy Cooper had a affair?!", Seth asked incredulously. His mouth working faster than his brain.

Kirsten paled.

Sandy immediately jumped in to cut off Seth's train of thought. "No! Of course not, she..." he looked to Kirsten and took in her shell-shocked expression and stopped short. Her face was full of guilt.

Her face had drained of all color at Seth's question. She cast a panicked look at Sandy and tried to speak. "I...Sandy, I..."

Sandy felt like he'd been kicked in the gut. "You and Jimmy..."

Kirsten saw no sense in trying to deny it now. "It's not what you're thinking. It meant nothing...I don't care about him, Sandy. I...I could never forgive him for giving away our child."

"I don't understand what you're saying, Kirsten. You don't care for him but you've been sleeping with him?", Sandy asked, confused at her explanation.

"He had everything, Sandy. Everything I should have had with him. I couldn't let him have everything", Kirsten said.

Sandy stepped back, nausea building. "Are you saying that you had an affair with him as...as revenge?! Is that what you're telling me, Kirsten? You've been sleeping with him to get back at him? Explain to me how that works, Kirsten. How is sleeping with him a way to get back at him?", he asked, trying to make sense of it all.

Kirsten closed her eyes, tears trickling down her face. She sniffed and took a breath. "I...I wanted him to know what it felt like to be used like that. All of that time we were together meant nothing to him", she said as she choked back sobs. "He...he just walked away from me, Sandy...me and our child...and when I came back he...he was already with Julie. He got her pregnant. He had a child with her, Sandy. He married her! How could he marry her and not me? How could he have kept their child and not ours, Sandy. I couldn't let them have it all. I couldn't. Don't you see, Sandy?", she said desperately.

Seth stood looking at his mother. Shocked at the twisted words that had just come from her mouth. She had finally gone batshit insane.

Sandy couldn't deal with this now. "Go home, Kirsten", he said pointedly. "It looks like Seth and I will be getting a hotel room after all".

"No. Sandy, wait. It's over with Jimmy. It's over. Come home with me and we'll talk. Let me explain it to you. I can make you understand", Kirsten begged.

Sandy shook his head and turned away.

"Sandy...you can't choose this boy over me. I'm your wife. Just...just come home..."

Sandy strode to her angrily and grabbed her by the arms. With a low growl he said, "I'm not choosing Ryan over you. This isn't about Ryan. It never has been. This is about you living in the past ever since we came to Newport. This is about you fucking Jimmy Cooper so you could rip his life apart the moment the mood struck you. Wasn't that the plan?" He took a breath. "Go. Home", Sandy said firmly as he released her arms and gave a slight push. He turned and walked away, pulling an uncharacteristically mute Seth along with him.

Kirsten faltered at the push before gaining her footing. She wiped her eyes and gathered herself as she left, her mind trying to come up with a way to fix this but coming up blank. She'd lost.

Sandy and Seth settled in a waiting room. Sandy turned to Seth, "Are you all right, son?"

Seth raised his eyebrows, "uh...that would be a no, dad. It's like I walked into an episode of The Valley".

"Right. Stupid question. Do...do you have any questions? I don't know that I can answer them all but I'll tell you what I can", Sandy said tiredly. He felt like this was the longest day of his life.

"Soooo, mom and Jimmy Cooper...had a baby...back when they were in high school...and they didn't keep it", Seth laid out the facts as he was able to discern. "then Jimmy knocked up Julie and married her...which, ouch for mom by the way...and now mom was having an affair with Jimmy so she could ruin his marriage. Is that it? Is that where we currently find ourselves?"

Sandy gave an empty laugh. "I think you've got a good handle on things, Seth. Now, if you could explain it to me...", he said with a sad smile.

"So what now, dad? What are we going to do? Mom's...she's...she's messed up", Seth said. He was angry with her for lying to them about Ryan. He was angry about her lying to them about him having a brother out there somewhere. He'd always wanted a brother and he'd had one all of this time. He was angry at the way she had hurt his dad by having an affair. Despite that anger he found himself feeling sorry for her, too. She was kind of a pathetic mess.

"I don't know, son. I need some time to sort things out", Sandy said as he rubbed a hand down his face. "We'll go to a hotel and maybe look for an apartment. I can't stay with her now, Seth. You understand?"

Seth just nodded. He understood but still couldn't help but feel a little panicked at the thought of his family breaking apart. He hadn't exactly been happy with things and could hardly stand being in the same room with his mom but there was something about knowing she was there, and that they were still all in the same house. What the fuck was going to happen now?

"Look, Seth. It's been a long day. Let's go see if we can say goodnight to Ryan. Check on him and then we'll try to get some rest. We'll deal with everything else tomorrow", Sandy suggested.

"Ok", Seth said with a nod.

As soon as Seth stood Sandy pulled him into a hug. One he needed just as much as he felt Seth probably needed. They parted and walked toward the nurses station, looking for Rachael. They saw her exit Ryan's room and come toward them.

"How is he?", Sandy asked.

"Can we see him?", Seth asked at the same time.

Rachael sighed. "He ripped open some stitches. I have to take him up so they can close the wound back up. Outside of that, his blood pressure's up. He's fidgety and restless...". She looked to them. "He really needs to rest." She studied both Seth and Sandy and took in their defeated posture. She mentally shook her head. They've all been through the ringer tonight. Maybe it will do them all good. "Ok, I'll let you in to see him but only for a few minutes. I'm going to get a wheelchair to take him upstairs. You have until I come back and then from here on out I won't be allowing anyone in to see him without expressed permission and only if Ryan agrees. Am I clear?" At two nods of the head she gave them a smile and headed off to fetch the wheelchair.

As they approached Ryan's room Sandy stopped Seth to say, "Ryan doesn't need to know about...everything. He doesn't need to be worrying about Kirsten and our problems right now. We don't tell him anything about that. Agreed?"

"Agreed", Seth said as he pushed open the door.

Ryan was laying back in the bed, mind racing, wondering what was going on outside. He felt terrible for causing the Cohens so much trouble. His turned his head at the sound of the door opening and saw Seth and Sandy entering his room. He tried to push himself up in the bed but his hand was throbbing.

"Whoa. Hold on there, kid. Let me help", Sandy said as he approached the bed. he reached out and adjusted the bed to a sitting position. "Is that better?"

Ryan gave a small smile and nodded. "Thanks", he said softly before a frown settled on his face. "Look, I, uh...I'm really sorry. I didn't mean for any of this to happen."

"Stop right there, kid. None of this is your fault. Any problems Kirsten and I are having started long before you came along", Sandy said.

"Yeah, dude, it's like I said before. We just can't avoid it anymore", Seth said before changing the subject. "So, you did call me", he said, unable to keep the smile off his face. "Cool. I thought you blew me off".

Ryan shook his head. "I...I wouldn't do that to you".

"So why didn't you tell me that at the courthouse, Ryan. I was a bit short with you and I'm sorry for that but if you'd told me...", Sandy was saying before Ryan interrupted.

"I didn't want to cause trouble. I didn't think there'd be much you could do since your wife didn't want me around. Like I said, I'd done the group home thing before and I didn't want to do it again. I thought I could make it on my own. It's not like my mom exactly took care of me when she was around so I thought I could handle it", Ryan rushed to explain. He turned to Seth, "I didn't mean to hurt your feelings but I knew I wouldn't be able to keep lying to you and I didn't want to drag you into my mess..." He looked down. "...but I guess I did anyway. I dragged you all into it. I shouldn't have called at all."

"Hey", Sandy said softly, waiting until Ryan met his eyes before continuing. "None of that. I'm glad you called. I'm just sorry I wasn't there to take it and I'm sorry that Kirsten took it upon herself to intervene. She had no right to do that."

"I...she was just looking out for you. She doesn't know me. None of you do really. She was right to...", Ryan said.

Seth jumped in, "No, dude. Stop. That was a suck ass thing she did. She's...". He stopped himself. He didn't want to talk about his mom and saying any more would probably make Ryan feel worse.

Sandy took over. "Look, Ryan. Let us worry about Kirsten. Right now you need to focus on you. Rachael's going to be back soon to take you to have that hand tended to and we just wanted to make sure you're all right and to let you know that everything is fine. We're fine. Everything Kirsten said is more about Kirsten than it is about you. You are not the problem here. All right?", Sandy stated.

Ryan chewed his lip, feeling that there was more going on but he nodded just the same.

"All right. We're going to go but we'll be back in the morning to check in on you", Sandy said.

"You don't have to do that. I'm ok", Ryan said. Part of him not wanting to cause any more friction but part of him grateful to know that they wanted to come back. It was nice to know that someone cared about him.

Sandy smiled and patted his leg. "I know we don't have to, Ryan. We want to."

"Yeah, dude. We'll see you tomorrow. We'll even sneak you in some real food", Seth said as Rachael entered the room with an orderly.

"All right, everybody out. Your chariot awaits", she said.

Seth tapped fists with Ryan and said, "later, dude."

"We'll see you in the morning", Sandy said as Ryan smiled and nodded.

Rachael gave Sandy a stern look. "Not too early", she said firmly but with a hint of a smile. It was clear to her that these two cared about Ryan and the kid needed someone to. She just hoped they kept that ice queen away from him.

She and the orderly helped Ryan into the chair and she wheeled Ryan out of the room. Sandy sighed. "Let's go, son". He put his arm around Seth's shoulder and they walked out, both thanking Jesus and Moses that this day was finally over.

They found a nearby hotel. Not too expensive but not too scary. Sandy made sure Seth got settled and hoped he'd be able to get some sleep. The kid had a hell of a lot dropped on him today.

He sat on the bed, trying to sort out the myriad of thoughts running through his head. As hurt as he was at the revelation of the affair, and everything else that had come out tonight, he still loved Kirsten. That didn't just stop. He didn't know if he'd ever be able to forgive her but he did know that he didn't want to see her continue on as she had been. Their marriage may not survive but she was Seth's mother. He needed her. He thought back to her words at the hospital about giving her son away and not looking back. It was clear to him that she was doing nothing but looking back. The moment they set foot in Newport she was drawn back to the past, trapped in that moment, never being able to move on from having to give up her child. Obviously something she regretted. Something she hadn't wanted to do. He tried to imagine a teenage Kirsten being pressured by her parents. Even as a grown woman she had a hard time standing up to her father. He shook his head. Kirsten has a son out there. The only way she was going to be able to move on and have any chance of pulling herself together was if she was able to make peace with that and the only way Sandy felt she could do that was to find out what happened to her son. If she somehow saw that he was ok, then maybe she'd finally be able to accept it. That meant that he had to pay Caleb a visit. If he cared at all about his daughter, he'd want to help her. Things were a mess but maybe tomorrow he could start picking up the pieces and salvage what he could.

--

A/N: Whew! This was a tough one but I got it all out there. Well, almost. All that's left is the identity of Kirsten and Jimmy's child. Anyway, this one gave me fits. I wrote and rewrote and then went back to what I had originally started with and then ended up mishmashing it all together. So I don't know how well it flows. If at all. lol. But I wanted to get things moving.