A/N: There are a few references to domestic abuse in this chapter, if you are uncomfortable with reading it, I'll do a brief synopsis of this chapter when I post the next one. Thanks for reading and reviewing!
Songs For this chapter: "You" by Keaton Henson, "The Chasers" by Phillip Larue, "Desdemona" by Andrea von Kampen, and "Cold" by Aqualung and Lucy Schwartz.
"All good there Syd?" Seth asked, handing her a can of Coke. She waved him off, smiling and pretending it was nothing but she could feel her heartbeat in her throat.
Her phone went off again, signaling a text message. She needed to turn the damn thing off, but as she went to press down the power button she saw the text.
"Met a real nice waitress in this shit hole of a town who says she knows you. Told me you were working there tomorrow. I'll see you soon sweetheart."
Fuck.
Sydney felt like her chest was caving in, like there was a storm raging war against the caverns of her ribs, crashing into her with the overwhelming feeling of dread. Her vision became blurry as she focused on breathing and she realized she had never felt this before, pure and unadulterated panic. It took her a second to focus again, becoming aware that she hadn't yet answered Seth. She looked up to meet his eye and saw that everyone in the kitchen was looking at her with confusion and worry.
Her heart didn't stop its galloping thuds as she answered, "Yeah, just someone I didn't think I would hear from again."
Of all towns to stop for food in, he stopped in Forks at the diner she worked at. Her thoughts felt like they were jumbled together, like they were running around in her head screaming and bumping into each other. She needed to pull it together.
"Syd?" She heard a gentle voice ask. Shit. She really needed to pull it together, she was making a fool of herself in front of people she barely knew.
"Yeah? Sorry, spaced out for a second there." She replied, feeling the mask of lightheartedness settle over her but as she made eye contact with Jacob she saw that he wasn't buying into it, his brow furrowed in concern.
Ayana slowly stood up and approached Sydney, looking at her knowingly. Ayana stood in front of Sydney, forcing her to look up into Ayana's deep brown eyes that were hardened with determination. Ayana reached for Sydney and pulled her into an embrace without notice, but this hug was tight and all encompassing and Sydney realized immediately Ayana was putting pressure on her chest to help alleviate the panic. She knew what Sydney was feeling. Embarrassment soon took panic's place at the forefront of Sydney's mind and she laughed quickly through her nose at herself.
She realized that the kitchen was silent, no one moving or speaking or even breathing, it seemed.
"Thanks Ayana. Apparently, I needed that." Sydney said, wrapping her arms around the woman. So much for good impressions.
"Hey guys, why don't you see if there's any basketball games on tonight. We'll be out in a bit." Ayana said, still holding Sydney, effectively dismissing the men in the room. Sydney felt oddly relieved.
"I'm assuming it was an ex?" Ayana asked, letting Sydney go but still holding onto her arms and looking at her face now. Sydney nodded.
"And you moved here to get away?" Sydney nodded again.
"And he knows where you are now?" Damn this girl was good. Sydney nodded once more and sighed, closing her eyes.
"How bad was he?" Ayana asked, her voice barely audible even though Sydney was right in front of her. Sydney looked up and saw Ayana looking down on her with her head slightly tilted and compassion in her eyes. Sydney wasn't ready to answer these questions yet. It had only been a couple weeks. It was too fresh, too soon.
"It only ever got physical once but once was enough to let me know that I needed to get away." Sydney said finally.
"Okay." Was all Ayana said.
Sydney could feel her breathing finally returning to normal and could no longer hear her heartbeat in her ears. So at least I have that going for me, she thought dryly.
"Apparently, he went to the diner and Madge told him I worked there, so he'll probably be there when I work tomorrow." Sydney felt compelled to explain. "I"ll just have to call Madge and let her know what's going on. I was really trying to avoid that, to be honest. I didn't want people knowing about it and I really just wanted a fresh start here, a place that was mine and mine alone. With no one looking at me with that disgusting look of pity like I'm some battered housewife. It's no one's business and it's behind me anyways" She was rambling now and she stopped abruptly. Ayana had let go of her arms and was walking towards one of the cupboards.
"Tea?" Was all she asked. Sydney let out her breath in a huff and nodded. "Emily makes her own tea and gives it to everyone, so Jacob is bound to have some in here somewhere." She seemed to finally find the container and starting boiling water.
"Well, let's think about this rationally for a sec." Ayana said, prepping the two mismatched mugs. "Let's say you go to work tomorrow, but some of the guys and I hang out there too, and if he makes an appearance, the guys just talk to him and tell him to fuck kindly off."
Sydney mulled it over for a second before realizing she wasn't too keen on the idea.
"Honestly, I don't want anyone fighting my battles for me. I can take care of myself and I can talk to him. It would be nice if they were there in case things got out of hand but I can handle Brice on my own. Plus, I barely know you guys, I would feel terrible asking that." Sydney said, taking the steaming mug from Ayana. Ayana flicked Sydney's forehead, causing her to jump.
"Don't be an idiot. Of course we'll be there to support you. We're a small town, we take care of our own and you're part of this fucked up family whether you want to be or not." She said, smugly before sitting on top of the counter. "Go to work like you normally would and just let us know what time your shift starts and don't worry about it. He can't steal your independence. You're here now, you've built a life and this place is yours. Not his."
Sydney realized Ayana was speaking with wisdom well beyond her years and speaking from what felt like experience. She couldn't be any older than 20 and here she was giving Sydney life advice like things like this happened all the time. Sydney had a sinking and sudden realization.
"How long has it been since you got away?" Sydney asked simply, quietly. Ayana shrugged, looking out the window at the dark night.
"I didn't get away. He still lives on the rez, 3 minute drive from here actually, married now, with a kid. That's what scares me most is that he has a child in his house. A helpless, defenseless child…He wasn't so bad until he started drinking but it seems like as of late, he's always drinking. His wife was a friend of mine in school, not so much anymore." Ayana took a sip of her tea as if talking about this wasn't emotionally draining and robbing her of her emotions, "We started dating young, when we were 14. He wasn't physical at first, but it only took a couple months before he got aggressive, this rez is so small it felt like everyone knew but no one ever said anything. My parents were never around so they didn't know and his parents were always too drunk to function. I knew our neighbors could hear us fighting but they didn't say anything, didn't want to get involved. Don't ask, don't tell, I guess."
Sydney wanted to reach out for Ayana, but thought better of it, letting her work through her own emotions.
"Then one day, a few years back, I got so mad. I was tired of fighting, tired of screaming, tired of this life that I had been born into. It turned into this rage, this uncontrollable rage that felt like it was burning me alive. That's when Jacob found me. Took me under his wing. Gave me a job at the garage and a place to stay, away from him. And now here I am, good as new." Ayana finished, looking at Sydney now. "And you will be too." Sydney offered up a small smile and a genuine thank you. She took a sip of the tea and looked down at her mug. That shit was delicious.
They both sat in silence for a few moments, each lost in their own head. So many thoughts were swirling around Sydney's head, each one only lasting for a moment before being replaced with another.
"You can come back in now, Jacob." Ayana said and before Sydney could blink, Jacob had wrapped his arms around her shoulders from behind and had buried his head in the space between her shoulder and neck.
"We got you." Was all he said and Sydney put her mug on the table before reaching up and holding his arms as he held her. "I know you do." Was all she could say back.
"Okay, enough of the heavy, let's enjoy the rest of the night." Quil said, stepping into the kitchen. Sydney laughed and agreed.
"I was really excited to kick your asses in poker." She joked, squeezing Jacob's arms once. He let her go and went to the fridge, pulling out a few beers.
"Oh, the little lady talks a big game, huh?" Seth said, rubbing Sydney's shoulders before sitting down at the end of the table.
"Oh, it's not talk, this little lady will kick your ass. I'm just letting you know ahead of time." She said snarkily, sticking her tongue out at Seth who returned the gesture sarcastically. Jacob handed her a beer and sat next to her, with Quil and Ayana across from them.
She looked around the table and the thought 'my people' flashed through her mind. They played poker and talked easily for a couple of hours, just enjoying each other's company and she felt herself relax.
"Okay, I should get home, I didn't realize how late it was." Sydney said after winning her 3rd game in a row, much to Seth's annoyance. It was almost one in the morning now. "Thanks for tonight, guys." She said to Quil and Seth as she stood up. Ayana and Jacob followed her to the front door.
She picked up her purse from where she had left it hours before. "So I start work at 10 am but I always end up going in early." Sydney said to Ayana who just nodded.
"No problem. Give me your phone so I can save my number, just text me when you're leaving your house and I'll head that way."
"Thank you again for doing this. It'll be nice to have someone in my corner." Sydney said and Ayana just flicked her forehead again.
"Stop feeling guilty. It's fine. Plus, it'll give me the chance to get some of the paperwork done that's been piled up at the shop. I am expecting an obnoxious amount of free coffee refills though." She said with a wink. Sydney just laughed and pulled her into a tight hug.
"Thank you." She mumbled into Ayana's hair.
"Of course, now go home. I'll see you tomorrow." She replied, smiling before turning back towards the kitchen.
"I'll walk you out." Jacob said tensely. Sydney felt her chest deflate in embarassment, she knew she had been a terrible guest and had disrupted the night.
They walked to her car in silence and as Sydney went to open her mouth to apologize, Jacob held up his hand to stop her.
"Ayana was right, stop apologizing." He said with a teasing smile. "I'd like to be there tomorrow, if that's okay with you."
"I don't want you to feel obligated." She said. "But, I'd love to have you there. I don't know why but I feel safe when you're around." Jacob's teasing smiled turned into a full-blown grin.
"Well that settles it then. I'll see you in the morning." He pulled her into another beautifully warm hug. "Let me know when you get home safe, okay?" He kissed the top of her head and opened her car's door. She got in and looked at him as he held her door open.
"Thanks for tonight. All of it. The movie, the games, just…thanks." There were so many more things she wanted to say, so many things that were pressing against her mind, wanting to come out but she stopped them. Now wasn't the time.
"Good night Sydney." He said and closed her door as she started her car. He rapped on the hood twice before she put it into reverse and backed out of his yard.
She managed to make it to the end of street before the sobs that had been sitting stagnant in her chest started to make her chest heave erratically. She was feeling so many different emotions that it was overwhelming.
She was annoyed at Brice that he had found her, that he was putting himself in her life without her permission. She felt guilty for dragging people she barely knew into a situation like this, she felt helpless that this stupid, pathetic boy was controlling her life like this, and above all she was pissed.
How did it get this far? She thought to herself, letting the tears roll freely down her cheeks. She was gripping the steering wheel so tightly that her knuckles had turned white and she made herself focus on the road. She would let herself feel freely tonight, but tomorrow, she needed to be strong. Show Brice that he didn't control her anymore, that she wanted no part of him. She started planning what exactly she would say to him to make him understand that she wanted him to leave her the hell alone, that didn't involve punching him in the face.
She let out a long sigh, let her chest empty itself of the emotions and weight that it had been carrying and let herself get lost in the monotony of driving in the dark. As she pulled into her driveway, she realized what a long day it had been, this morning's cook-out felt like lifetimes ago and she was exhausted.
She hauled herself out of her car and unlocked her door and felt a wave of calm come over her. She was home. She closed the door behind her and just leaned against it. She got ready for bed in a daze, going through the motions but not really allowing herself to think. As she sank into her bed, her blanket pulled up to her chin, she felt herself drift off to sleep almost instantly, she would deal with whatever came her way in the morning.
"Hey beautiful, sorry I'm home late, some of the guys from work wanted to grab a beer really quick." Brice said, kissing the top of her head as she set the book she had been reading down on the couch next to her. She could smell the alcohol rolling off his breath from where she sat.
"Oh nice, when did you get cut from the serving roster?" She asked so she would know what her work day would be like the next day.
"Probably around 8:30?" He said putting his keys on the counter.
"4 hours ago?" She asked calmly, looking at a spot on the wall while he went into the kitchen and grabbed a Bud Light from the fridge. He only drank Bud Light when he was already drunk and that meant it was going to be a long night.
"Babe, we just went out and got a few beers, I wasn't watching the time. It's not like we had plans tonight anyways." He said, drinking from the can, his soulless brown eyes glassing over.
Brice had short black hair, almost buzzed to his head and glasses. He was a bit on the lanky side but was still strong, stronger than he liked to let on. He was about 6'0" and had an angular face that jutted from beneath his skin.
"Did you have fun?" She asked, still staring at the wall. He took a deep breath and walked over to her.
"Are we really gonna do this? Fucking pretend like it's okay?" He asked, his voice raising slightly. Sydney didn't want to fight, especially not after the screaming match they had earlier that day. He had left to go to work and they were both still pissed. She didn't want to fight, but she wasn't about to let him walk all over her.
"I'm not pretending, Brice. I'm saying its fine because I don't care anymore. You do what you want, I just don't care. I haven't cared in a while and I think you know that." She tried to keep her voice level and calm, knowing he would be flying off the handle in 3, 2,….
"ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS? We're having this fight again?!" He yelled, crossing the room towards her in a few steps. She sighed, her eyes closing and stood up.
"I don't want to do this, Brice. You're drunk. We'll talk in the morning. I wanted to make sure you got home safe but now that you are, I'm going to bed." She said as calm as she could muster, trying to step around him.
"There's another guy, isn't there?" he asked lowly, blocking her path with his outstretched arm.
"Oh for the love of Christ, no! I'm just tired of this…of us! I don't want this anymore. I don't think you do either. Let's just leave it for tonight, okay?"
"No, we're not just gonna leave it, Sydney, you want to go off again and that's okay, just be fucking honest with me." He said, no longer yelling but there was still an edge to his voice.
Sydney rubbed her forehead with her fingers, willing patience to spring from her fingertips. "It's not about that Brice and you know it, stop trying to flip this."
"Sweetheart, you know I would never make you choose between me and traveling, you know I would never make you feel like that." His voice was kind now, sarcastic sympathy dripping from his lips.
For months now, he had been trying to blame their failing relationship on her love of travel, on the fact that years ago she had "left him to gallivant across the world while he supported them" as he had put it. It was a ridiculous claim and they both knew it.
"That's the thing though, you want me to choose, you want that fight because you want me to be the bad guy!" She had said. "Fuck! Brice, we've been fighting like this for months. I can't keep doing this with you. Maybe we weren't supposed to work out. Maybe this our time to call it."
"You don't know what you're saying, Sydney." He said threateningly. "Let's not make any decisions we would regret, right babe?" His voice sliced through her like razors and she felt her heart drop. He wasn't acting like himself, all pretenses of holding back were gone and there was a sudden anger in his eyes Sydney had never seen before.
"Take. It. Back." He seethed through his teeth as he pulled his shoulders back, straightening his tall form.
"Brice, let's just go to bed." She said as soothingly as she could, knowing when it was time to back down. It felt as if he was staring through her, not actually seeing her as he drank the rest of his beer in three gulps before throwing the can on the floor.
"No." His voice was devoid of all emotions but anger, as if he had left his body and was now just a shell of a man. A shell of a man that only knew fury.
He took a step towards her and she tensed, ready to fight back if she had to. She looked him in the eyes with a new determination and straightened her shoulders, ready for what may come.
Sydney's eyes flew open and she sat up quickly, safe in her bed. She took the room around her in with her frantic eyes and looked at the clock. 8:30am. She sighed and rubbed her eyes, falling back onto the bed in a huff. 'Here we go' She muttered to her ceiling.
She stepped into the hot shower, the showerhead spraying pitifully and erratically. She had never dreamed of that night before and frankly, she didn't want it to happen again. She let the hot water run down her back, imagining all her stress and worries falling down her body and into the drain like they were water too.
She washed her hair and could hear her alarm going off in the bedroom.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm coming." She called to her non-living phone from the bathroom, turning off the water.
She wrapped a towel around herself and padded to the bedroom, retrieving her phone and shutting the obnoxious alarm off. She grabbed her old phone from where it sat on the night stand and started playing her downloaded music. She found an old playlist that she had made while working in the Sierra Nevada mountains in California and smiled, thinking about that place. She had been so happy there, so loved, so…free.
She had gotten dressed quickly and was pulling a brush through her curls when she heard a knock at the door. She froze, panicked.
No one knew where she lived, no one but James and Madge. Would he be visiting so soon after stopping by yesterday? Had Brice found her? Had Madge told him where she lived? Sydney grabbed her phone and pulled Jacob's number up on her phone, finger on the 'Call' button.
She opened her door slowly and immediately relaxed.
"Jacob, what the hell, you scared me. I honestly had you on speed dial in case he had found my house." She said, showing Jacob her screen and laughing lightly.
Realization crossed his face and immediately turned into guilt. "I should have called! I'm so sorry." He sputtered. "I wanted to surprise you with coffee but I can see that it definitely backfired." He held out the cup like it was an olive branch and Sydney took it.
"It's fine, really, it is. How did you know where I lived, anyways?" She asked genuinely curious before taking a sip of the steaming cup.
"Syd, you realize how small this town is, right? When someone new moves in, everyone knows. I'm sure you've had the entire town drive by your house hoping for a peek." He joked and stepped into the house after Sydney had stepped aside. He looked around her living room and took it all in, as if he was memorizing the space. "Did you do all this?" He asked, gesturing around them. She smiled and nodded proudly.
"Yep." She popped the 'p' and smirked. "Painted the exterior, redid the trim and the gutters outside, fixed the screen door then I repainted the inside, redid some of the fixtures in the bathroom and basically just scrubbed it from top to bottom." She said, looking around with him. She had done a lot, and she was damn proud of what she had been able to accomplish in such a short time.
"Damn. Impressive." Jacob looked at her with appreciation and Sydney felt herself blush.
"We still have some time before I have to be at the diner. I was gonna make some breakfast, would you like some?" She asked, walking towards the kitchen.
"Breakfast sounds perfect. Kyra hates my cooking so we've been eating a lot of cereal recently so anything that's not cereal would be a welcome change." He said and took a seat at the tiny dining room table Sydney had put against the wall. He looked gigantic shoved up against the table and Sydney realized just how big that man was.
"How about some eggs and bacon?" She asked, her head in the fridge, looking around and trying to shake inappropriate thoughts from her mind.
"Sure sure." He replied easily.
"So, Jacob Black, tell me about yourself." Sydney said, cracking eggs into a bowl. She didn't know how many to make, she normally only ate two but Jacob looked like he could easily eat a dozen. She cracked 10 into the bowl, just in case.
"What is this, a date?" Jacob asked and Sydney laughed loudly.
"Not a date." She said, rolling her eyes at him. He shrugged and smiled up at her. "Worth a shot" She heard him mutter out of the corner of his mouth.
"Well, I was born here, raised here. I have two older sisters that are twins, Rachel and Rebecca. You've already met Rachel and Rebecca lives in Hawaii with her husband and 3 kids. I have a daughter named Kyra who you've also met and are lucky to spend more time with her during the day than I do. After I got my GED, I worked in a garage here in Forks part time before Embry, Quil and I bought out the old one on the rez and opened our own and I love what I do. I also do some work for the tribe and that's why everyone from yesterday is so close, we all work together and have for years. I also really like to whittle, I haven't for years, but I used to do it all the time. Um, I think that covers it." He said, wearing a shit-eating grin.
"What kind of work do you do for the tribe?" Sydney asked before turning back to the pans on the stove.
"Well, we used to do security but now it's kind of transformed into working with teenagers in the community. Trying to get them on the right track, helping them with school and trying to keep them out of the drug scene." He explained. Well aren't you just the literal description of perfection, Sydney thought to herself.
"That's really noble of you guys. I had no idea. What's that like? Do you get a lot of resistance from the teenagers?" She asked.
"We did at first, a lot people were really set in their ways and they didn't want the help, saw it as demeaning. We definitely didn't mean for it to come across that way, but we're a prideful people and some people are perfectly happy smoking and drinking their lives away. It can be hard watching kids that you saw take their first steps ask you for money you know is going to booze or heroin but we do what we can. And honestly, as the years have gone on, the teenagers have almost come to expect it, so they don't resist the help as much."
"I'd love to get involved if I could. I love the sense of community around here and I want to give back as much as I can." Sydney said, putting a huge portion of eggs and 6 pieces of bacon on a plate and handing it to Jacob. "Bon Appetit."
"You should talk to Emily, she's the one that kind of spearheaded this mission, she'd love to have you in any capacity." He said. "And thanks, this looks delicious." He shoved a giant forkful into his mouth as Sydney sat down. They ate in silence, each just enjoying each other's company. As Sydney took her last bite, Jacob grabbed her plate and took it to the sink.
"You ready to go?" He asked, suddenly serious. Oh yeah. Shit.
"I had honestly forgotten about it. Here I was just enjoying our not date." She said playfully and he smiled but it didn't reach his beautiful eyes.
"Let's get going, yeah?" He said gently and Sydney pulled herself up out of the chair. "I can drive, if you want." He offered.
"You don't have to, I don't want to make you stay there my entire shift especially if he's there early and leaves without a problem."
Jacob shrugged. "Kyra is with her Aunt Rachel today, so I have no plans but hanging out at the diner." Sydney studied his face for a moment, looking for hesitation. Finding none, she lightly touched his arm.
"Thanks." Was all she said. It was all she felt like she needed to say. They got into his truck and drove towards the diner as an ever-so-light rain started. She wasn't as nervous as she thought she would be, she definitely didn't feel confident about seeing him again but she felt like she could handle the situation.
Jacob broke through her thoughts by asking her questions about her travels. Damn, he was good at redirecting. Sydney felt the familiar warm glow within her as she talked about her time camping in the jungles of Belize, and getting led at gunpoint by two Guatemalan guards from a Mayan site after she had mistakenly crossed into Guatemala without realizing it.
"They were so pissed and I was so confused." She finished the story laughing and Jacob was laughing too as they pulled into the diner. Jacob turned to her silently and took her face in his hands.
"We got you. I got you." He said, staring into her eyes and Sydney could feel her heart fluttering like a butterfly's wings. He leaned forward and Sydney froze, thinking he was about to kiss her when at the last moment he went north and kissed her forehead. She let out the breath that had gotten itself caught in her throat. "Shall we?" He asked, pulling away and opened his door.
Sydney hopped out of Jacob's truck and into the mud that seemed to be a permanent fixture of the parking lot, her shoes squishing and squelching as she walked. She took quick inventory of the cars parked around them and she didn't see any cars that resembled rentals. She took a deep breath and smiled bravely at Jacob who was watching her with a wary eye.
"I'm good." She said, trying to convince him as much as she was trying to convince herself. He held the door for her and she stepped inside, straightening her shoulders.
She did a quick check and didn't see him. She could feel the tension leaving her body in waves. She looked back at Jacob who was scanning each face and shook her head at him. "He's not here. I'm gonna go in the back and talk to Madge, give her a heads up. I'll bring out a coke for you." She said and touched his arm again. His gaze snapped down to Sydney's and he nodded tensely.
"I'll be over there so I can see who comes in." He said and oddly, sent her a bright smile which she was thankful for. Sydney walked over to the counter, finding Madge talking to someone at the bar.
"Hey Madge, can I talk to you privately for a sec?" She asked quietly, not wanting to be overheard. Madge perked up and set the ever-present coffee pot down from her grasp and nodded towards the kitchen.
"What is it sweetie?" Madge asked, sticking a pen behind her ear, concern coloring her face. Sydney took a deep breath and explained everything. Well, everything that Madge needed to know.
"I had no idea!" She cried, looking distressed. "I woulda never told him, I'm so sorry sweetie!" Sydney just shook her head.
"Please don't apologize, you didn't know. I just wanted to give you a heads up in case he does come today and I need to head outside for bit." Madge nodded, still looking worried.
"Are you sure you don't want to just go home?" She asked. Sydney laughed and shook her head.
"I don't want to run. I want to make a life for myself here and I don't want him in any part of it, so I have to deal with this now." She explained and Madge nodded reluctantly.
Sydney walked back out to the dining area and got to work, refilling coffees and greeting the faces she had started to recognize.
Ayana came in and sat with Jacob twenty minutes later, carrying a stack of papers as long as her torso. Jacob groaned so loud everyone in the diner laughed.
"This is what happens when you put off paperwork for 6 months, boss." Ayana said patronizingly. The bell on the door chimed and Sydney turned.
Fucking Brice.
He was searching the small diner and Sydney honestly and seriously contemplated ducking behind the counter, but she kept her eyes focused on him, letting the rage that was welling inside her take hold instead of dismissing it like she normally would.
She heard a primal, grating sound coming from behind her and then a gentle "She's got it, boss. Let her handle it." Sydney's turned quickly and saw Ayana's hand on Jacob's chest, pushing him back into the booth. Jacob looked…there were no words. Pissed doesn't even begin to describe the look on his face. Animalistic is a better representation.
Sydney's eyes jerked back to where Brice was still standing in the doorway. He looked like hell. He had dark purple bags under his bloodshot eyes, his shoulders were hunched slightly as if he were too exhausted to hold them straight. His clothes were uncharacteristically wrinkled and his angular face looked skeletal compared to its normal gaunt.
"Sweetheart." He said pitifully relieved. Sydney felt like everyone else in the diner had disappeared and she turned to Ayana.
"We'll be outside, can you watch us through the window?" She asked and Ayana nodded. Sydney stole a glance at Jacob who was still staring at Brice like at any moment he would rip himself from the booth and tear Brice's head from his shoulders.
"Hey. I'm good. I know you got me." She said softly, brushing his shoulder with her fingertips. Sydney could see how hard, how painful it was for Jacob to tear his eyes from the man in the doorway to look back at her. He nodded tensely at her, searching her face. A small smile presented itself on her lips and she turned back to Brice.
The 15 feet between them seemed to go on forever as Sydney walked towards him, stopping only to put the coffee pot on the counter. She never broke eye contact with him though, willing the rage that was now fueling her blood to rise. She wanted to feel this pain, wanted to break apart with white hot fury so she could show him a glimpse of what he had put her through. But she wouldn't. She wouldn't be that person to inflict pain just because she was in pain.
After the seemingly endless walk to the door, she was finally in front of him. "Let's talk outside." She said, not even bothering with greetings. He looked taken aback, like he had expected her to be happy to see him.
She opened the door and a cold breeze hit her face, her gut automatically clenching. Her nerves were everywhere and she felt like she might break. She had to do this, she needed to do this, wanted to do this. "Why are you here Brice?" She asked, turning to face him near the window where she knew Ayana and Jake were sitting.
"I came to take you home babe." He said, obviously confused. "You haven't been answering my calls or texts. I've been trying to get a hold of you for 2 weeks. Had to convince your mother to tell me where you were-"
Sydney cut him off. "No, you broke into her home and searched through her personal belongings until you found out where I had gone." She wasn't going to bother dealing with his lies. His brow furrowed and his head tilted.
"Why the hostility? I came all the way out here to make sure you were okay because I care about you, because I love you, why are you acting like this?" Sydney scoffed at that, not even wanting to dignify it with a response.
"Why am I acting like this? Brice, you know why. Don't make me say it out loud." She said, crossing her arms against the cold air that was now seeping into her skin and bones.
"Look, sweetheart, I know we fight a lot, it's what we do, so we got into a bad fight? You didn't have to leave because of one fight. That's just ridiculous." Brice looked…annoyed. It seemed to ignite a raging fire in her belly that reached new heights and she reveled in it, taking a deep breath and closing her eyes before answering. When she opened her eyes, she stared at the spot right below his throat, where his Adam's apple jumped every time he swallowed. She couldn't look him in the eye, not yet, not until she said what she needed to.
"Brice, you beat me. You beat me so badly that you broke ribs. It's been two weeks and I still can't bend all the way over because of you. I have bruises everywhere that are finally healing but are also a daily reminder of why I got away, why I got away from you. I will not spend any more time with a boy that thinks it's okay to do this to anyone, let alone the woman he claims to love. I do not want you in my life. I do not want you to contact me ever again. I do not want you to return to Forks, if you ever step foot in this town, I will know and I will call the police. You are not to contact my mother ever again and you are to leave me the hell alone."
She finally looked up to meet his eyes and there were so many emotions on his face that she couldn't sort through them fast enough to keep up. After watching every human emotion pass across the canvas of his skin, Sydney watched as he seemed to flicker between regret and rage until his face finally settled on one, rage. The look in his eye from that night was back. That detached, feral look that told her he wasn't really there.
He straightened his shoulders and the last thought Sydney had was 'We're in a parking lot, you idiot.' Before the world around her collapsed into a deafeningly silent abyss.
