Author's Note:
I am uploading two chapters today to make up for missing one last week ^_^ Enjoy!
Chapter Seven
I'll Never Be…
Sesshomaru couldn't help but allow a small smirk to play at his lips as he watched the youthful excitement on Inuyasha's face. He never would've guessed something as simple as food would please him so much. Yet he here he was, watching Inuyasha gaze down at the tray-full of disgracefully well-prepared foods, as if not quite believing it was there.
"Do you intend to eat that, Little Brother? Or did you request it merely for show?" Sesshomaru asked, his own mouthful of food paused in his chopsticks halfway between his mouth and the plate.
His brother's voice summoning him back from his dazed state, Inuyasha looked at him a moment, before gazing back at the meal. "Geez, how much do you pay your cooks? I've never seen so much good food…"
"Indeed, well I imagine it tastes a great deal better than it looks, you should eat it before it gets cold."
As if that realisation just hit him, the Inuyasha seized his chopsticks, practically diving into the large bowl of noodles.
It was the first time Sesshomaru had had the…pleasure of seeing (and hearing) Inuyasha eat in his usual manner. Slightly startling chomping and swallowing noises sounded in Sesshomaru's ears, and yet again, his food stopped short of his mouth as he watched his little brother. The first of the noodles went down in one almost single motion – before Sesshomaru could finish his single suspended bite in fact. It was…alarming how quickly Inuyasha could eat. It took a moment of wolfing down his dishes to realise he was being watched.
Swallowing his current mouthful, Inuyasha raised his eyes to his half-brother in silent question.
"Would it not be more satisfying if you savoured the taste a little more?" suggested the Demon Lord. "You will upset your stomach if you continue in this manner."
Inuyasha raised a dark eyebrow. "What's the matter? My eating habits not 'proper' enough for you?"
Sesshomaru managed to suppress an irritated growl. He understood the concept of the Half-demon testing the boundaries of this new 'relationship', but this was getting ridiculous. Or perhaps, he thought, this is his usual manner of eating, and what I witnessed earlier was simply an act… That seemed plausible; after all, he couldn't have hoped that that mortal wench Izayoi would've taught the boy a simple thing such as table manners. Indeed, obviously that was too great a task…
After mentally reprimanding himself for insulting Inuyasha's mother, (forcing himself to note that insulting her wouldn't sit well, nor help towards wooing his potential mate), Sesshomaru sighed softly, already exhausted. "That is not what I meant, Inuyasha, you may eat however you wish. I was merely referring to the fact that the food might be a little more satisfying should you eat it a little slower, that is all."
Inuyasha looked thoughtful for a moment. He hadn't actually intended to offend Sesshomaru (for once); he'd just been so delighted at having so much wonderful food in front of him he'd quite forgot himself. Though, at least his brother wasn't being scornful of his 'eating habits'.
Opening his mouth to apologise, Inuyasha recalled just who this was, and his lips promptly sealed once more. He wasn't giving Sesshomaru any respect, not just yet…
"Do you seriously eat that crap?" Inuyasha asked after a short silence, referring to his half-brother's raw dish.
"Indeed. All demons do."
Inuyasha shuddered, rousing an intrigued smirk from Sesshomaru.
"How do you know it is so repulsive if you have never tried it? Your blood is demon too, is it not? I imagine your lean body could use the necessary nutrients it has been starved of all these years."
The Half-demon eyed him sceptically, as if he were attempting to convince him poison was beneficial to his diet.
Trying to contain his amusement at the childish curiosity spread across his brother's features, Sesshomaru caught the small chunk of raw meat with his chopsticks, holding it towards Inuyasha's mouth. A small awkward blush stained the Half-demon's cheeks, though he opened his mouth nevertheless. After chewing cautiously, still not all too sure he liked it all that much, Inuyasha swallowed, the emotions crossing his features so indistinguishable Sesshomaru wasn't sure if it was to his liking or not.
"It's alright…" Inuyasha muttered at last, returning to polish off his own dishes. "I prefer ramen though…"
Sesshomaru almost rolled his eyes. He supposed allowing his brother to eat human food was a small sacrifice. Started from his pensiveness, the Demon Lord watched Inuyasha's hand steal forwards, snatching another piece of meat from his own bowl. Apparently he did enjoy demon food, Sesshomaru's mind supplied. He'd have to remember his little brother's love of his stomach.
Food, he noted, that's definitely something he likes…
"You may finish my dish, if you like, Inuyasha," he offered coolly, seeming to shock his younger brother with the act of generosity.
"You sure?" Inuyasha asked, uncertain.
"Indeed, I have not much of an appetite; regardless I would rather watch you enjoy it."
Not willing to look a gift horse in the mouth, Inuyasha readily accepted. Besides, when had he ever passed-up the opportunity for food? About as many times as Miroku never groped a woman, his mind supplied, thoughts straying into what activities Sesshomaru was planning on dragging him out to. Probably just another perverted act, he thought, a slight blush dusting his cheeks.
* * *
Inuyasha felt as though his head was on a swivel, and even though he realised what he was doing, it didn't stop the overwhelming need to pause and examine everything his path crossed. This, of course amused Sesshomaru to no end. A smile reached his lips, a barely there gesture that for once, was not snide or derisive, merely…touched by the wonderment that graced his little brother's face. Even a little sound of awe ushered past those rose-petal lips at the sight of the tenderly trimmed gardens and rich foliage.
Sesshomaru walked slowly through the grounds, allowing Inuyasha a small, respectful freedom between them as the Half-demon admired the gardens, quite in his own world. The Demon Lord could practically see his brother's mind swimming with all the new sights and smells assaulting his senses with their fragrance and vitality. That face, usually contorted with fear and anger…it was alight with happiness, and it caused a confusing warmth to rise up in the Demon Lord's chest.
Strange, Sesshomaru thought idly, pausing at the small bridge that spanned across the vivacious stream which ran through the grounds, and resting the small of his back against the handrail, contentedly waiting for the Half-demon to catch up with him. He seems so raging with fury most of the time, but now…he is so pensive and distant…like two different people…
Then again, he supposed he had a lot to learn about his little brother and his 'split-personas'…
The Demon Lord was beginning to worry Inuyasha would do himself an injury by craning his neck too far and gazing so intently at each and every detail of the estate. Then, as suddenly as if he'd heard his name called, Inuyasha's gaze snapped to him then, pausing beside his elder brother expectantly, youthful golden eyes still wary of the purpose of this little trip, and the motivation behind it.
"Shall we continue?"
Inuyasha quirked a brow at his brother's question. "Continue to where?"
Extending an arm, gesturing to the other side of the stream, Sesshomaru offered nothing more than that startlingly foreboding smirk, which shook the half-demon, even as he continued across the bridge. As Inuyasha turned, the Demon Lord caught the half-demon's provocative scent, crimson flashing across his vision for a brief moment, watching silver hair shift slightly as the gentle breeze brushed against it, observing the sinfully slender figure move unknowingly towards the welcoming grass on the other side. Following after him, Sesshomaru's devious hand stole subtly against the half-demon's back, gently ushering him onwards, the small touch lighting a hungry fire within his chest, and sending an uneasy shiver up Inuyasha's spine.
Passing through the gates to the castle, the brothers made their way towards the village just beyond leisurely, each welcomed by the pleasant smells of the bustling community. Sesshomaru frowned as he felt Inuyasha's back go up, those delectable puppy ears betraying the half-demon's anxiety at the crowds they were steadily approaching. He'd been alright, until the sudden realisation hit him – that he and Sesshomaru were the centre of attention. Evidently Inuyasha doesn't appreciate the extra attention from large crowds. Then again, such experiences in the past cannot have been very positive for him, Sesshomaru's mind suggested.
Inuyasha gnawed his lower lip agitatedly; he just wished they'd stop staring at him! His ears slicked back against his skull, ready for the onslaught of "half-demon" and "Dirty half-breed". But they didn't come. Warm smiles greeted the two lords, each demon bowing curtly before continuing with their previous tasks, polite gazes wandering occasionally back to their demon lord and his younger brother. The busy sounds of the market slowly returned, leaving Inuyasha quite stunned at his brother's side. What the hell…?
A soft touch of Sesshomaru's hand on the small of his back roused him from his disbelief, causing Inuyasha to look up at his brother.
"What did you expect them to do?" Sesshomaru asked almost inaudibly, "Pursue you with pitchforks?"
Inuyasha's brow creased with a frown. "What the heck is so funny? Does my horrible past amuse you? Because chasing me, hunting me down like a dog – even beating me is what they did do to me – Or had you forgotten?"
Sesshomaru looked quite taken aback by this sudden change in mood, Inuyasha was so content and…well docile a moment before. Is this what humiliation and anxiety do to him? Wondered the Demon Lord, making a mental note to ensure that Inuyasha was always comfortable with his surroundings… Another thing that I must take note of if I hope to coerce Inuyasha into this relationship. Sesshomaru would've sighed in exasperation – but he didn't – Inuyasha was quite the mystery…
"Indeed, I fear that I had forgotten-"
"-Well I'm glad you're in a position where you can forget so easily – because I'm not!" People turned to stare then, obviously horrified that someone was talking to Lord Sesshomaru in such a way.
"Inuyasha, calm yourself," he retorted as softly as his rapidly increasing irritation would allow, "I…" He paused. What was he supposed to say to calm Inuyasha down again? The Half-demon's temper was flaring, if Sesshomaru didn't quash this now Inuyasha would overreact and try to leave again. "I apologise…"
Inuyasha's eyes widened. "H-Huh?" he muttered, his voice slightly higher than usual.
"I apologise for forgetting, and for being so insensitive to your needs. We may return to the castle if you wish…"
"No, no it's alright," Inuyasha replied a little too quickly, more curious as to his new surroundings than being taken aback by Sesshomaru's sudden chivalry. Besides, first time I've been outside without some perverted demon harassing my backside...
"Indeed, in that case, should you like to look around?"
His only response was a shrug, though somehow, the Demon Lord understood the meaning behind it. Perhaps he was beginning to understand his younger brother a little better now.
Inuyasha followed behind his brother, unusually quiet, as he took in his surroundings a little more, trying to resist pausing and examining some of the shinier objects on the stalls.
"Is there something you'd like, Inuyasha?" Sesshomaru chimed in, a little too nicely. It's getting kinda creepy now, the Half-demon thought.
"No, not really…" He knew what was going on here, Sesshomaru was trying to buy him, but it wasn't going to work, he didn't want or need material things. The Tetsusaiga and the clothes he stood in were the only things he had in the world, they kept him alive, what more did he need? He wasn't someone who needed tonnes of worldly possessions to feel comfortable.
I'd settle for just belonging somewhere, he thought solemnly, raising his eyes when he felt Sesshomaru's hand on his shoulder.
"Are you alright, Little brother?"
Inuyasha shuddered at the sincerity – at the niceness of that statement. It was really beginning to get eerie. "Yeah…fine…I…why're you doing this?" the Half-demon asked quietly. "You're being…well – nice! It's starting to scare the hell outta me!"
Sesshomaru remained complacent. "You should prefer I was horrible to you?"
"No, that's not what I meant, I…I just…Look, you're up to something, I can sense it."
The Demon Lord quirked a brow, a forebodingly devious smirk meeting his lips.
"I merely wish to prove to you that when you decide to stay, I will endeavour to make your life as comfortable as possible."
Inuyasha scowled. "What do you mean 'when', overconfident presumptuous-" The Half-demon cut off as his brother seized his chin swiftly, gently, hot breath steaming over his lightly parted lips that were so very near his brother's. Inuyasha swallowed nervously, is heart thudding hard in his chest. Is…Sesshomaru going to kiss me?
"I can hear your heart fluttering," Sesshomaru breathed, (astonishingly not drawing everyone's eyes to them with the almost kiss)."You want me to kiss you, don't you?"
"No, I-"
"-You only have to ask. There's no shame in it…"
Inuyasha's cheeks flushed, eyes shining with half-hearted desire. "I…" He wet his lips uncertainly. "I don't-"
"-You do…" That sweet breath steamed onto blushing skin, as if breathing some kind of provocative aphrodisiac into his lungs.
"I…I want… Can we go back now, thanks to you my whole body hurts."
Sesshomaru sighed, pulling back slowly. "Of course, you may bathe in the castle's hot springs if you wish; I imagine that would soothe your muscles, would it not?" he asked. Inuyasha nodded, a little too eager to be out of such close proximity of his elder brother. He was really starting to make him nervous.
* * *
Inuyasha growled irritatedly as Sesshomaru stood in his path. "You said I could use the hot springs-"
"-And you may, and I wish to accompany you."
"Why? You said you wouldn't try anything until I asked!"
"I did, I never said I would try anything. Or do you mean to convince me that you are shy of your body all of a sudden – even after our encounters?"
"Shut up, Asshole – If you're coming with me I ain't going at all!"
A smirk twitched at Sesshomaru's lips. "Indeed, in that case, will you accompany me somewhere? I have one more thing to show you."
Inuyasha rolled his eyes tiredly. He'd never been one for baths, not really (perhaps it was the canine in him) but right now a dip in the hot springs was looking really good.
"Fine…" he griped, he wasn't in the mood to argue for some reason. In any case, the quicker he conceded, the quicker he could go back to sleep. Ah, sleep, he thought, that's even better than the hot springs.
Sesshomaru was quite pleased with his brother's cooperation, even if it was only given as a result of how tired the little Half-demon was. Leading Inuyasha down the hall, he smiled slightly at the Half-demon traipsing exhaustedly behind. It didn't matter, Inuyasha had to like the surprise that was in store, if there was anything Inuyasha would ask of him, he was sure that (aside from the obvious need for affection) this would be it. If this didn't please him then he didn't know what would.
Pausing at one of the doors, Sesshomaru slid the shoji open, gesturing for Inuyasha to walk inside. Grumbling under his breath, the Half-demon complied, stepping through the door, his elder brother following soon after. The screen slid slowly shut behind them. Inuyasha's golden gaze scanned the room, not entirely sure what he was looking at. It was grand – far grander even than Sesshomaru's (and now his) room, though similarly dressed and decorated. It smelt musky, as if it hadn't been used for a while, the lingering scent of Sesshomaru in the air, accompanied by a stale familiar and unknown smell. And then he realised…This was their father's room.
Inuyasha's chest tightened, he felt like his heart and lungs would be squeezed to nothing with the invisible, heavy weight crushing his chest. His father…the man who was so great, who he 'so resembled'. The man who made up half of who he was…and the man he'd scarcely met before in his life…this was his room…
"Se-Sesshomaru…why are you…?"
"These are Father's chambers; I had ordered them to be left just as he left them long ago, though it is regularly cleaned… I thought, perhaps you would like to see them."
Inuyasha inhaled shakily, still studying the room for some clue, some crumb that silenced the endless questions he had carried for all this time. But he wouldn't find them here. He knew he wouldn't. The only person that held the answers was long gone…
Making his way across the room, Inuyasha ran his fingers slowly along the curtain drape, gazing pensively out of the window, and out onto the land his father was renowned to have loved so much. This was all that was left? Two sons that hated each other, a dusty old room, two fangs and a legacy… This was all that remained of the Great Dog-demon? However great it may seem to an outsider, to Inuyasha, it was nothing.
"It's all tripe…" Inuyasha muttered lowly, drawing Sesshomaru's attention towards him. The only thing that mattered to Inuyasha, that his father had left behind was Tetsusaiga, because that answered one question at least…his father had loved him. He'd left him the Tetsusaiga, his last effort to protect his son from the demon blood that flowed through his veins. Even now, with the fang resting at his side, his father's lingering protection remained. It was all the embraces, the reassurances and endearments he would never get to hear from those dead lips.
"Inuyasha-"
"-I'm sorry, I just…this room, this castle…it tells me nothing that I want to know about him. No matter how much I look around and see what's his, I'll never know what he was like, never hear him tell me things a boy has to hear from his father…I'll never know if he loved me just as much as you – half-demon or no, or how much he adored my mother…"
Sesshomaru frowned as his brother's eyes glazed over with uncharacteristic sadness. He'd never seen Inuyasha so…so miserable.
"I'll never be able to have what you had with him…"
Sesshomaru had never really thought about it that much before – how lucky he was to have the memories of his father, whereas Inuyasha had nothing. Inuyasha had the coveted Tetsusaiga, but compared to the love, the lost times with a beloved father, did the fang even begin to compare? Even Sesshomaru wouldn't trade those times to have the sword in his hands. He'd always assumed Inuyasha preferred his human heritage, and therefore didn't care about their father either, but obviously, he'd been wrong. He was learning more and more about Inuyasha by the moment.
Staring desolately out of the window, the Half-demon's eyes locked onto the woodland just beyond the village at the castle borders, the trees a soothing sight for his tear-stained gaze. He needed some air, or he'd just break down on the floor and scream. "That forest…"
Sesshomaru's gaze snapped to his little brother, tearing him from his thoughts. "Yes?"
"Can we go there? Now?" Inuyasha asked. Not really understanding the request, the Demon Lord complied in any case – anything to make up for his reckless blunder. Not for the first time, had he put that look in his brother's eyes, and not for the first time, did he hate himself for it…
* * *
"I apologise Inuyasha, I-"
"-No…it's alright…" Sesshomaru watched his brother in mild confusion. Why was Inuyasha being so accepting? He was (very uncharacteristically) apologising – sincerely! And Inuyasha wasn't even responding to it! Ungrateful whelp, Sesshomaru mentally growled.
"Might I ask why you wished to walk here, Inuyasha?" The Demon Lord asked, changing the subject, not relishing humbling himself into wretched apologies which were unappreciated in any case. Inuyasha didn't respond immediately, simply relishing in the feel of the forest air in his lungs, and grass under his feet. Perhaps it was something to do with all the time he'd spent near trees, but he seemed to have some deep-running connection with them that brought him soothing comfort.
"The forest scent helps me think…it's soothing…" he answered truthfully. Sesshomaru could relate to that, he supposed. There were places he went to think. His father's room, for example. Perhaps the reason it smelt of him was because the smell of his father eased his mind, like back in the days when he was still a mere pup, and the Dog-demon would find all the right words to appease his anxiety.
Then there was Inuyasha's (old) room. Often he'd find himself in there, mulling over what might've been if he'd accepted Inuyasha – his thoughts, his unconscious worries of Inuyasha was what drew him there, he understood that now. He'd been angry at his father for dying for Inuyasha, and taken that out on his half-brother, but he realised now, as he walked beside his sibling in their father's lands, that this feeling inside him…he must care about Inuyasha, even if only a little.
A very little, his mind assured him, love is still a futile emotion which I would not bother to bestow upon anyone, let alone someone who would beg for it like a dog…
Suddenly, both brothers stopped dead in their tracks. That scent. They recognised it. "Sesshomaru-"
"-I know. I can smell it too." Two golden gazes scanned the beautiful woodland around them.
"He's close-"
"-Closer than you think."
The dog-demons turned towards that voice that called from overhead, a smooth, seductive tone that slithered into their ears. The dark figure dropped to the ground with relative ease, regarding Inuyasha lustfully, before approaching slowly.
"Hikireimaru…" Inuyasha growled, his clawed fingers grasping Tetsusaiga threateningly.
"Inuyasha," the Demon cooed, "I told you, Little one, I would return for you."
The Half-demon blushed furiously. "Screw you! I was weakened before but I'm perfectly fine now, and I ain't taking no crap from you!"
Hikireimaru smirked, wagging a scolding finger at him playfully. "Ah ah, Inuyasha, I will not spoil that beautiful body of yours fighting, any violence will be between your brother and myself."
Sesshomaru said nothing, though a furious fire gleamed in his eyes betrayed his eagerness to tear Hikireimaru to shreds. Inuyasha snarled.
"It's me you're fighting over, I'll be the one to fight and I'll kill both of you if you don't stop treating me like a prissy whore that's to be some kinda twisted prize!"
"Why, Inuyasha, I never pictured you as a romantic," the Dark-haired-demon taunted, paused just a little way away from the brothers.
"Shut up!"
"Enough." Sesshomaru extended his arm, offering a challenge. "I tire of this. You will die now, Hikireimaru."
The said demon merely continued to watch him with confident amusement. "Lord Sesshomaru, I thought you'd never ask…"
Inuyasha yelped as Sesshomaru shoved him aside out of the way, leaping forwards, poison claws hissing with venom as they tore through the air and into flesh. Hikireimaru winced, the wound a mere graze, not fatal, even with the poison foaming over the scrape. "I must thank you for breaking him in for me My Lord, how considerate of you."
Sesshomaru growled this time, shoving the ignorant demon backwards several paces before he was upon him again.
Hikireimaru's claws ripped into his arm, raking through flesh and relishing in the blood that stained his own fingers as a result. Drawing the digits to his mouth, he tasted the fluids.
Inuyasha watched them trying to tear each other apart, both too quick for the other to get more than a few small blows in. This could last a while, Inuyasha mentally groaned, if they won't let me fight then I'll just head back and go to bed. Yes, that bed and those sheets sounded heavenly right about now. Never mind about Hikireimaru and Sesshomaru, if they killed each other all the better for him.
"Stupid sons-of-a – ARGH!"
The scream of pain brought the battle to a crashing halt, both demons leaping apart to gaze over at the half-demon, who had doubled up in agony, clutching his stomach.
"Inuyasha?" asked Sesshomaru, almost concerned, moving over to his side, "what's the matter?" Inuyasha cursed lowly under his breath, crying out again.
"It – geez it hurts…I think I'm gunna be sick…" Sesshomaru looked a little taken aback. After all, demons didn't get sicknesses the same as humans did; he didn't know what was wrong.
TBC