Hey Guys! :D Okay, so before we get on with the store, I'd like to thank all of you for continuing to support this story even though I have a horrible updating pattern. I have gotten so many alerts, favorites, and reviews for this story and it just warms my heart to know that you all like it so much.

I promise I will try to have this story finished by the time the next school year starts. I don't like leaving you guys in suspense for so long, because, really, I hate it too. Anyway, I hope you guys like this chapter and I will try to have the next one up in a few days. It feels like a muse bug has bit me in the ass, kicking me into gear with my plots. I love the feeling, by the way. :D

I own nothing. :(

Here you go!

As I lay in bed the next morning, arms crossed behind my head, staring at the ceiling, I thought of what happened the night before. I had been right. My night had been entirely unpleasant. I had had a different dream; I was thirteen and Charlie had brought a bull whip into my room while I was asleep, tied me to my bed face down after stripping me naked and whipping me for almost two hours straight. He had kept telling me how this would heal me, would help me bleed out my disgusting disease.

With a snort of revulsion, I cast a tempus and found that it was only four-fucking-thirty in the morning. Great; another day starting at the ass-crack of fucking dawn, and on a weekend, no less. My favorite days to be up this early. Note the sarcasm.

I get up silently, grabbing my toiletries and walking to the bathroom to start my morning ritual. My shower lasted longer than usual today, the strong water pressure pounding out the tension in my muscles. My mind drifted to Draco as I stood in the as hot as I could stand water, thinking about what he might say if he were to find out the truth of who I am. Would he be disgusted, casting me aside saying that I was too used to be with him? Would he call me a whore and tell me how it was all my fault?

I was too terrified to let myself hope for the scenario where he accepted me for what happened and didn't blame me, like some stupid love story. Please, how often did shit like that happen, anyway?

I got out the shower and spelled my hair dry while I wrapped a towel around my body. Looking into the mirror, I watched as I wielded my magic to make my hair look like it always did, bangs combed over my forehead, before straightening it. I had learned long ago how to bend my magic to make it do what I wanted it to without the use of any spell at all. It was a useful skill.

Drying off, I pulled on my clothes; black and white panties with a matching bra, a pair of my black skinny jeans. Forgoing the shirt for a minute, I stared at my torso. I had the words 'Fuck You' tattooed in bold letters across the right side, over my ribs. My mom's face was on the left, done in the best coloring and drawing skills I could find, the drawing having been done from the only photo I had left of her. She had been in her early twenties and she had still been absolutely beautiful, her long brown hair, her light brown eyes and rosy cheeks, the picture that still comforted me from my nightmares; long before she had lost the life in her eyes, the light slowly fading from them as her blood drained from her body….

Shuddering, I looked down at just above the waistband of my jeans where 'Life, Liberty, And the Pursuit of Happiness' were in scrawled in pretty cursive writing. I had gotten this to say that no matter what Charlie did to me, I would always have those three rights as my own. He could never take them from me; mostly because I wouldn't let him, but still.

The only thing that really fucked up my tattoos for me was that I had gotten them to cover up scars that Charlie had inflicted on me. I didn't want to live with having to see 'Whore' carved into my side all my life.

I didn't get to admire the rest of my tattoos because I heard someone coming to the bathroom; it really was amazing how loud these girls could be.

I quickly slipped my tight black ¾ sleeved, scoop neck top on, covering the skin I didn't want seen by anyone.

Except maybe Draco….

I shook my head of those thoughts, and bent over to slip my knee-high black converse on and laced them with a silent wave of magic. I leaned closer to the mirror to put my lip ring in just a girl who I never bothered learning the name of walked in and, ignoring me, walked into a shower stall.

I rolled my eyes at her actions, screwing the ball of my ring into the back before leaning back to admire it. I charmed my eye liner pencil to do my eyes for me, knowing it would do it quicker and more efficiently than I could. Once it was done, I slapped on some mascara and said the spell that would keep my make up from coming off before leaving the bathroom.

Putting all my things back into my trunk, I grabbed my purple hoodie with tiny black squares in a checker board fashion and soft black fur on the inside and cast another tempus. Finding it was still a bit early to go into the Great Hall, I decided to take a walk in the morning air. I was overcast and cold outside, two things I loved most in the fall and winter months. I wished it could be like this all year because anytime I got out into the sun, I fried like an ant does under a magnifying glass if hit in just the right light. It wasn't fun looking like a lobster and feeling like your skin was burning off your body… Although in hindsight, it kind of was….

I walked out into the common room, noticing that it was empty of all things living before leaving through the portrait hole. Getting to the entrance hall wasn't too difficult anymore now that I had been here a few weeks and I was soon making my way out around the grounds, toward the lake at a leisurely pace.

I walked around the lake a few times, seeing the squid wake up and wave at me lazily. I finally sat down by a tree on the side closest to the school and leaned back on my hands with my legs stretched out in front of me, looking up at the sky. I inhaled deeply before closing my eyes and just letting the cold air blow over me for a while, a small smile curling my lips up at the corners.

After what felt like not enough time later, I sighed and cast yet another tempus. Seeing that it was almost nine a.m., I got up and began my trek back to the castle and into the Great Hall.

Opening the doors, I saw that most of the people were there and eating so I made my way, not unnoticed by the other students, to Draco and the others. Draco had saved me a seat and I smiled in thanks at him. His answering smile almost knocked the breath from my lungs it was so beautiful but I contained myself at the last minute. Damn him and his ability to make me feel things I shouldn't be feeling!

I pour myself a cup of coffee without putting anything in it, just the way I liked it. Then, I grabbed some bacon, finding the crispiest pieces and set them on my plate before picking one back up and beginning to nibble on it. I tuned out the conversation around me, getting lost inside my own thoughts.

That is until I heard Harry being talked about again.

This time it was Blaise who spoke, and damn was he fucking lucky it wasn't an insult to my brother.

"Potter seems a lot happier. I wonder what happened." It seemed as if all of them were taking my threat seriously. Good. I hid a smirk behind my coffee cup both at the knowledge that they were scared enough to heed my warning and because I knew why Harry was so happy again.

"I'm not sure. But it's definitely better to have him argue back when someone goads him instead of that blank look he had before." Pansy said and I had to agree with her although for different reasons. Harry was too sweet of a person to ever have to live in pain the he has. And he was so beautiful when he smiled with those lively emerald eyes.

I slowly sipped at my coffee, savoring the strong taste on my tongue, inhaling the lovely aroma. Still nibbling on my bacon, I watched as the mail came and went and the conversations throughout the room slowly decreased as people got up to leave.

Finishing my bacon and coffee, I got up from the table saying that I'd be in the library if they needed me. My comment had been more meant for Draco but whatever.

Sitting in the library, I pulled down numerous books on potions, DADA, transfiguration; just because I wasn't taking some of these classes now didn't mean I couldn't read more up on the subject itself. I found a small nook with a chair in it and picked up a book on DADA.

I spent all day in that library and had read through all of the eleven books I had picked up by about two hours before curfew. I had always been a fast reader, but I was even more so when it was something I really enjoyed.

I put all the books back and made my way down to the dungeons, said the password and made my way into the common room to find Draco, Pansy, Blaise, Theo, Crabbe, and Goyle surrounding the fire. There were quite a few other people there but I didn't pay them any attention as I slipped over to where Draco sat to the left of the fire place, in a high-backed green chair with a book open in his lap. He looked up as he noticed movement coming toward him and when he saw it was me he smiled as he closed his book.

"Have you been in the library all day?" Draco asked as I settled myself down in front of his legs, leaning back with my head in his lap to look at him.

"Yes. I've been reading up on a few subjects I'm not taking." I replied, grabbing everyone else's attention in the immediate area. Had I been that loud? I didn't think I had been.

I look up to notice the stares of all the people that had befriended me and realized just what position I was in. But instead of blushing in embarrassment like most people would if they were caught in an intimate position like this one, I did the adult thing.

I stuck my tongue out at them.

They all looked shocked for a minute before they busted out laughing. I had a feeling they were laughing at the serious look on my face when I poked my tongue out from between my lips in such a childish way. But I had done that on purpose so it didn't look so childish.

… If that's possible.

We sat there for a few more hours talking about nothing in particular, just random shit that no one really cared about.

At around midnight, Draco had to go make his rounds for curfew so I stole his chair. It was warm and I swear I'm not crazy when I say that his smell still hung in the air.

I looked over to find the others staring at me again.

"What?" I asked peeved when they continued to stare at me. Finally Blaise spoke up.

"Bella, Draco is my best friend. I know how he acts when he likes someone, when he has deeper feelings for someone than another. I also know that you are a very closed off person that obviously doesn't get close to very many people. I need to know that this…. Whatever it is that you have with Draco won't get him hurt in the end. Draco deserves better than that."

I couldn't exactly say I was shocked by what he said because I knew it was coming eventually, but something deep within me tugged at the care Blaise showed for Draco. If he hadn't said it, it would have been obvious just by him saying what he did that he and Draco were close.

I cocked my head to the side and looked like I was thinking about my reply. In reality, I was trying to figure out how to word this without sounding like a bitch for one, and for two, in a way that didn't divulge too much.

"What I feel for Draco is… Complicated. I'm… scared of my feelings but at the same time, I don't want them to go away. When I know how I feel about him, I might tell you, but just know for now, that I have no intention of ever hurting him. I like to see his smile too much to ever take it away from him."

There. That sounded alright. It wasn't detailed about how I felt but it should suffice for an answer to his question.

He looked at me with calculating eyes for a moment, trying to see if I was telling the truth. When he found no trace of a lie, he nodded and the conversation was dropped.

I got up shortly thereafter, saying goodnight as I yawned behind my hand before heading for the dorms.

As I lay in bed that night, I thought about the night before again and hoped it didn't happen again tonight.

Suddenly, I realized that I had left my curtains open the entire time I was in the bathroom this morning. Anyone could have come into my pseudo-room and taken things. I might lock my trunk but a riddle couldn't keep a Slytherin out. We were made to know things like that.

After a few minutes of panicked thoughts, I relaxed as I realized you would have to have been through pain to know what my riddle meant. It wasn't anything to difficult, but you had to know me really well or have felt the feeling yourself.

"I am something that brings peace and happiness, anger and distrust; I am something that goes hand in hand with the other, neither can occur without the other. I am something that you live with all your life, minor or major, it still feels the same."

I fell asleep, slightly appeased with my logic…

…But I could feel something lurking around the corner, something just didn't feel right. And I could tell it was something that was going to piss me off.

Hi! So, what did you think? Can anyone guess what the answer to the riddle might mean? If you know, then tell me what you think in a review.

I'll give you a hint: Think about what Bella has gone through, then think about the one emotion she is most afraid of.

Also, she has more tattoos, but they are a surprise for later. :)

love,

Kitkat