I Missed You
Chapter 7
Was the plane real or was this the Trainers way of punishing him? His mind was in turmoil. Long denied by his exertion, his dark thoughts had waited patiently. Now they had free reign. The guns were the Trainers punishment for his attempt to shoot Casino.
'This is how it feels. How do you like it? But we won't miss. This time you will feel his pain,' thundered the Trainer's voice followed by laughter.
It took no effort to drop to the ground. It was too late to run and he did not have the energy.
'And this is for daring to talk back to your betters.' The cold hard ground slammed into his head and the pain took his sight but not his hearing. That was filled with the sound of the Focke-Wulf as it roared overhead.
Gradually the sound receded but he remained prone. He would remain until he was given permission to get up. As he knew he would the Trainer returned and stood over his head laughing and yelling at him, 'Miserable Dog!'
How long he laid there he did not know but it was a familiar pain that brought him around; his knees and ankles ached. He lifted his head and sat up leaving his chest and thighs to feel the loss of warmth. He had been kneeling with his head down, the position of submission and now his legs were cramped.
The world was silent but he heard the call. He looked around trying to find the source. All around the brown earth of the field had turned to white. Even the air was white, filled with big fluffy flakes.
Grabbing a handful of snow and feeling the cold he turned toward the house off in the distance and looked closely. His Hearth was standing at the back of the house looking out across the field. He was searching, looking for his Guardian. His Hearth was calling him.
Dropping the snow he put both hands on the ground and pulled first one foot into position and then the other but when he tried to stand he fell. His feet were numb. Again he tried, finally getting himself up he started to walk. As the feeling returned he picked up the pace.
Garrison finally saw him and started in his direction. Chief tried to run but he was stiff and cold so he walked as fast as he could. They met out in the field.
"Chief? Are you all right?" He sounded worried.
The Guardian dropped to his knees. As stiff as he was this only added to the pain but he deserved it. It was wrong to make your Handler worry.
"No, Chief. Get up," demanded Garrison as he grabbed his arm. "Come inside."
He was hauled up and pulled toward the root cellar. The Handler was angry now so when he got inside he dropped to his knees again. The Handler called his named and tried to get him up but he knew what he had to do.
"I have to, please" He was released.
"Why do you have to?"
He was not going to be fooled, "Permission to…"
"Permission granted now talk to me. "
"I was wrong. You gotta hit me. What I did was wrong an' I'm sorry." He waited for the blow he knew was coming.
"I'm not going to hit you because you left. I'm just glad you came back"
His Handler didn't understand. He had to tell him. "It's what I said. I was wrong. You have to hit me."
"I'm not going to hit you. I've told you that before."
"You gotta. What I said was wrong an' I gotta pay for it."
"What did you say?" He was confused until Goniff stepped in.
"Do you mean what you called me? A slug?"
"Yes."
The Englishman reached over and cuffed the Guardian on the back of the head. "There, you've been 'it, now get up."
That could not be all there was. What he had said was worth more than that. He had once been beaten with a cane for asking why. He waited for the rest.
"Come on Chiefy, you're embarrassing me."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry," growled Casino. "Just get up off the damned floor."
Chief turned to look at his … his teammates? Was he still part of the team? Goniff was almost smiling but Casino was scowling. He also looked real bad; hangover bad. He had drunk that moonshine. No wonder he was scowling. He looked to Actor. He was sitting up looking at him with … He wasn't sure but he wasn't mad. Maybe it was all right. He turned to … his Hearth. He wasn't mad. He wasn't pleased but at least he wasn't mad so he stood.
"I am going to have to talk to you about taking off like that. If we had gotten word about our exit you would have been left behind."
"I know I was wrong but…" How could he say what he felt? He clenched his teeth. He had to do it.
"I said something' that I shouldn't a. I heard …it made me sad, an' when Goniff said about …" He licked his lips and glanced over at the Englishman. "I'm sorry Goniff. I was wrong to say that an' I'll never say that again 'cause it's not true. It's just… I'm sorry."
He turned back to his Hearth. "I know I should a just said that but I was…"
From over by the wall came the words he could not say. "You were ashamed of what you said."
Chief hung his head and nodded. "Yeah. I'm ashamed."
"Apology accepted, Chiefy. Come sit down."
Chief," started Garrison. "This business of hitting you has to stop. I will not hit you anymore than I will hit," he almost said Goniff but changed it to "Actor."
Goniff snickered and said, "That I'd like to see." The look on the Lieutenant's face put an end to that.
Chief was not convinced. "But…"
"When you guys screwed around on the practice mission before the prison break, what did I do?"
There was silence for a moment until Goniff said, "Fired a machine gun over our 'eads. Scared me out of a year's growth."
"He yelled at us," put in Actor, seeing where Garrison was leading them.
"And us being good little boys promised to never do it again," said Casino sarcastically.
"You are not helping, Casino," warned Garrison.
"But it's true," said Goniff. "We stop doing what he's mad about. That's what you should do too."
"But what I said…"
"And that was not nice," said the Englishman looking and sounding hurt. "I never called you that. In fact I've never called you names."
"Neither have I," put in Casino.
Swinging around to the safecracker he said, "Oh yes you 'ave. I've 'eard you call 'im…"
"Gentlemen," warned the leader eyeing them. Then he turned to Chief, "If you do something you know is wrong then apologize…"
"And I'll yell at you."
"Casino!" yelled Actor.
"What?"
"The point is to have him learn to accept being yelled at instead of expecting a beating."
"The point I was trying to make," said Garrison patiently, "was that if you do something wrong, you will not be hit. I might yell at you but I will not hit you. One way or another I will let you know you screwed up. If you catch it, just apologize and then we go on. Do you understand?"
"I'd rather you just hit me. Then it's over."
"Too hard on the hands," was his answer to that but he was smiling. "Okay?"
He looked into his Hearth's eyes. That was how much he trusted him. "I'll try. It's just hard when it's … been beaten into you."
"Literally," put in Casino.
"You do something and you get hit."
"That was then, this is now. No Trainer, no Handler." His Hearth smiled.
Yeah, thought Chief. You are my Hearth, my center, my hope, my home. Even if you hit me it wouldn't change anything.
"Chief needs to get that wet coat off and get something hot into him," advised Doctor Actor.
"I'll be right back," and Garrison left.
Was it all right, wondered the Guardian. One way to find out. "How's your leg?" he asked the safecracker carefully.
"Hurts like Hell."
He turned and asked, "An' you Actor; your back?"
"Getting better, thank you."
"I'm fine too," put in Goniff with a grin, "Though I could do with more to eat."
Chief was initially confused by Goniff's statement then realized he had asked about the others but not him.
"What else is new," said Grouchy. Goniff stuck out his tongue at him. Life was back to normal for the team.
Upstairs, Garrison had been admitted inside the door. That was as far as he had ever gotten. "One of my men was out most of the day. He's cold. Do you have anything hot I can give him? Even hot water will help."
"What was he doing outside?" he asked anxiously. "He could've been seen. There are spies everywhere." Then he added angrily, "If you don't do as I tell you, I can't be responsible for what happens to you." Then he muttered something under his breath. "Glupich Amerykanow."
Garrison remained waiting by the door as the old man went to the kitchen. When he returned he said, "Tell him to come up here by the fire," and his face turned even harder, "And tell him to keep his mouth shut. I don't want to hear'im." He stood glaring until Garrison thanked him and left.
Garrison escorted Chief to the door and left.
Chief stepped inside when the door was opened. It was warmer here than in the cellar and the fire in the hearth looked inviting but he was unsure of the man. He was short and thin but his eyes were piercing and the scowl was enough to warn anyone to stay away. He stayed where he was until the man moved aside. Even then he moved cautiously over to the side of the fireplace and knelt down. Opening his coat and stretching out his hands he reached for the warmth, reveling in the sensation. Warm. He turned his hands warming one side and then the other as he watched the flames flicker. There was something about a fire that drew his eyes. There were good memories there but he could not remember them.
With as little noise as possible he shifted so he was sitting cross legged and then closed his eyes. So wrapped in the sensation he was unaware of the movement until something loomed behind him and touched his back.
He flinched as a blanket descended over his shoulders. He turned to his benefactor hoping to visually thank him. The man was still scowling but there was something else in his eyes too. Was it pain or compassion? Without speaking all he could do was nod his thanks.
The old man grunted. "I was going to curse you for not saying thank you but I did tell you not to talk, didn't I?"
"Yes, Sir, and thank you."
"So you do have manners?" He sounded surprised or was he mocking him.
Chief did not get a chance to figure it out because he turned and left. When he returned he handed the Indian a cup of hot soup. Chief thanked him and wrapped his hands around the mug. He inhaled the steam detecting potatoes, carrots and onions. There was just a trace of rabbit in the broth. He drank it, savoring the warmth and the taste.
"Where you from?" The voice was gruff.
"Southern US, New Mexico."
After about a minute the man spoke again. "Had a cousin went to America." He paused. "Never heard from him again."
Chief had nothing to say to that so he remained silent.
"You got a girl waiting for you?"
"No, well, I did a while ago."
"So you know how it feels to lose someone."
"Yeah," Chief remembered the pain of finding out that Christine had found someone else. It still hurt.
They sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes but Chief knew he was imposing so he pulled the blanket from his shoulders and stood up.
"Thank you for lettin' me get warm and for the soup. It helped a lot." He finished folding the blanket and was about to put it on the other chair when the old man spoke.
"Take it with you."
"That wouldn't be fair to the others but thank you anyway."
The old man swore under his breath; Chief assumed it was in Polish, and then he said gruffly, "Tell the others to come up too but for God's sake tell them to be quiet."
"Thank you an' I'll tell'm."
As Chief slipped out the door and closed it behind him he listened for danger but there was nothing so he crept around the side of the house and into the cellar. He was about to speak when he noticed the long faces and felt the tension in the air. Actor was lying down again but he was watching him. He turned to Casino who had his eyes closed and his heartrate accelerated. "Did something happen? Is he all right?" he asked anxiously.
"He's fine," said Goniff but he did not sound real sure so Chief turned to Garrison.
"Warden?"
Seeing his concern Goniff told him they were just discussing Lowry and whether he would lose his leg.
That made Chief think of Casino's injury so he stepped closer. He was about to reach out to touch him but stopped. "He's got a fever."
"You can see that, just by looking at him?" Goniff asked, clearly impressed.
Chief was startled and he turned to look at the Englishman but realized how it looked.
"He's sweating," he explained.
"Oh," said Goniff with disappointment in his voice as he too came over to see the safecracker. To satisfy himself he touched Casino's forehead to confirm the diagnosis.
"Guy upstairs said we could all go upstairs as long as we were quiet."
"'E did? 'ow'd you charm 'im? I thought 'e 'ated us."
"He's in mourning for his wife." As soon as he said it he flashed back to this morning when he had said the same thing, just before he called Goniff… He hung his head in shame.
Silently they moved into the small sitting room after removing their boots. The room was small but neat with two chairs before the fireplace. There was one other chair with an embroidered seat and back over by the window. In deference to their host and keeping in mind what Chief had said about his recent loss, the men took up places on the floor. Casino had awakened enough to assist as they half carried him inside. Garrison and Chief then went back and helped Actor.
The man watched as each man entered. When they were settled he asked about the injuries then he went out into the kitchen. They heard him moving about but other than exchanging looks they did nothing. It was warm and much more comfortable here than in the cellar so they did not want to do anything to upset their host. When he returned he carried a pot and some bandages which he took over to Casino. Chief was close by so he scented the air. Potato and onion sounded innocent so he waited and watched. It must have felt good because Casino whispered a 'Thanks' as their host began to apply the poultice.
Actor was reluctant to move but did manage to roll over to allow the man to apply hot towels to his back. He also broke the silence to give thanks. Each time the man simply nodded.
As he passed the Lieutenant he said, "Your pick up is tonight at eleven thirty if the weather is good; if not then tomorrow." They had their time and date. Now they could relax.
At twenty two hundred their host looked out the door. The blast of cold was expected but it was what accompanied the blast that was unwelcome. Snow was falling thick and fast. This might keep the plane from being seen but it also kept the pilot from seeing the ground where he was to land. There would not be a flight tonight. They were disappointed but they knew to expect this. The poultice was changed as were Actor's hot compresses.
In the predawn hours Chief got up and slipped out into the darkness. He had seen what he needed in the cellar so he set off to carry out his plan. Dawn was breaking by the time he returned.
The men returned to the cellar after breakfast. At least there they felt they could talk without bothering their host. Casino's leg was still infected but thanks to the old man's ministrations had not gotten worse. Actor was still in pain though he admitted that the heat treatments did help.
By early afternoon the room was getting tense. They were tired, bored and hungry. As darkness gathered Chief slipped outside. Garrison saw him go and said nothing; he knew he would be careful.
Forty-five minutes later Chief knocked on the back door of the house. He had to wait but eventually the door was opened. The old man stood scowling, blocking the door until Chief held up his catch. Only one of the snares he had set that morning had been tripped and it was this one careless rabbit's body that he held aloft. The man just looked then stepped back.
Chief entered and after a quick look placed the carcass on the counter. Nothing was said and the old man did not move. Surely he wanted it didn't he? Why else…
"I cleaned it. Want me to skin it too?" The old man opened a drawer and handed him a knife so he set to work. A pot appeared so Chief finished the job and started cutting up the meat. Rabbit stew sounded good. Between the two men they peeled potatoes, carrots and onions. Chief realized that it was the man's wife who had done the cooking. He might know how but in his grief he could not bring himself to do it. That was a feeling he understood, of being lost and alone, not knowing or caring what was coming next. He had been rescued by his Hearth. Now it was his turn to help someone else. It was the least he could do for the man who was helping him and those he called friends.
Finally the lid was put on the pot and the man almost smiled. It was not a thank you but then Chief did not expect one. The straightening of the shoulders and back gave him hope that the man was going to be all right. There was one more thing he could do for him.
"I know how you feel. I lost my family too." The man just looked at him but his usual scowl had slipped allowing some of the pain he was trying to hide show through.
"M'name's Rainy."
"Rene?"
Close enough, thought the Indian so he did not correct him.
"I am Ulryk." He looked around the kitchen and his eyes lingered on the pot. "Thank you for…"
He did not have to finish; Chief understood. He was referring not just to his help with the meal but for his understanding. From under the floor they had heard the mummer of voices and the occasional flash of laughter. Being muted it had diluted the emptiness without displacing his grief.
Chief washed up and returned to the cellar.
Latter a knock at the cellar door told the men it was suppertime. With Garrison and Chief helping the two injured men, they all went upstairs. This time the old man had the table set and they sat and ate in silence. It did not take long for Actor to put down his spoon.
"I am sorry but I have to lie down." His voice was pinched with pain.
They got him situated and returned to finish the meal. Typical Goniff, he could not remain silent.
"This is good." When that was not challenged he added, "Isn't guys?" He ignored the looks from his team mates and asked, "Do you farm this land?"
Ulryk grunted but Goniff was not deterred. "Sometimes when we're … off like this we never know what we're going to get to eat but this is good. Do you 'ave any bread?"
"Goniff!" warned Garrison.
"What?" asked the Englishman innocently. "This would be …" The sight of Casino's finger crossing his throat stopped him. Silence returned as Ulryk pushed back his chair, stood and left the room.
"Thanks a lot Limey," growled Casino under his breath.
A moment later Ulryk returned with a cutting board and a loaf of bread. Goniff beamed. "Thanks," he said pointedly ignoring Garrison and Casino.
"Is this rabbit?" he asked before turning to Chief. "You should learn 'ow to make this for those times when, you know we have to make our own."
Chief felt the eyes on him and looked up. Ulryk was watching him. He gave him a slight nod in acknowledgement but said no more.
When they finished they did the dishes much to Ulryk's disapproval then bedded down for the few hours they had before checking the weather. Maybe tonight...
Actor had been lying with his back to the fire, using the warmth to ease the pain. Still they got ready and left with plenty of time to allow for his slow progress.
Chief heard the plane and they lit the fires to mark the landing area. As soon as it was down they doused the fires with snow and ran for the plane. Actor's pain made it very difficult but the thought of home helped him push on. Casino had to be lifted up but he was soon safely on board. The other three jumped in as the plane began to taxi and they were soon airborne.
On the surface the trip back started out smoothly. Each man sat quietly hoping they would get home safely. Casino was hoping for more than that. As they had helped him aboard Chief had banged his leg, inflaming his already painful injury. He was sure he had done it on purpose too. Bastard.
"It's all your fault," he growled as he glared at the perpetrator. The look was returned which irritated Casino even more. He knew the Guardian could hear him so he didn't bother to raise his voice. "If you hadn't started it, none a this would a happened." Still no reaction.
"Why'd you do it?" He hadn't meant to yell but that was the way it came out. Actor was watching and now Garrison turned to see what was going on.
"Why'd you kill the guard? He was gonna let us through. Why can't you keep your knife to yourself?" he demanded.
"Casino," warned Garrison. "What are you talking about?"
"Back at the road block. The guard was just looking and this blood thirsty savage," that got a rise out of him and he smiled. "He killed him starting the fire fight that got me this," and he gestured to his leg.
"He was gonna kill Actor."
"Likely story."
"I saw his finger on the trigger. He was squeezing it. If I hadn't…"
"No way you saw that, you're lying."
"No I'm not. I seen it."
"You did that Guardian stuff? Liar. You do that without the Warden and you get lost so don't tell me…"
Garrison stood up and moved to intercept the Guardian who was up and crossing the aisle. "Sit down!"
"I don't need him to do that. Any more'an I need him to tell that you're sweatin'. You got a fever." With that he backed up and sat down, still glaring at the safecracker.
"What're you two talking about?" asked Garrison, still standing.
"Back at the road block," said Casino. "The Indian knifed the guard. If he had just left it alone the guard would of let us go. He wasn't doing anything. It's all his fault that we had to shoot it out."
Garrison turned to Chief.
"He was gonna shoot. I saw his finger tightenin' up on the trigger. He was going to shoot Actor. I couldn't let him do that, not …"
"You can look close without getting lost?"
"Yeah. It's only if I go deep that…" The Guardian refused to admit to needing.
"Prove it," demanded Casino.
"Like what?"
Garrison normally would have stopped this confrontation but he saw that proof was the only way Casino was going to let this go. He could only hope that if what Chief had said about Casino being fevered, that he was not too delirious to believe and remember.
"What am I thinking?" he asked with an evil grin.
"What?" asked Chief not believing his ears.
"You heard me."
"Guardians can't read minds," said Garrison.
"See?" gloated Casino.
"But I can see. I can see you're bleedin' again." Casino looked down and touched his leg. As he watched a pink spot appeared and slowly grew. The pink darkened, turning red.
Garrison consulted his watch and made a quick calculation. "Let's get him lying down." Chief was right, Casino had a fever.
Argument forgotten, Chief stepped up to assist and Casino was stretched out on the bench. Everyone else sat on the floor. Small planes were a necessity when the landing strip was short but it meant seating was limited.
Goniff sat beside Chief and asked, "Is it true, what you said about being able to see without getting lost?" Chief eyed him suspiciously before adding, "Yeah."
"That's neat. "Can you…" He gave up. Chief had leaned back in the corner and had closed his eyes. He knew when a conversation was over.
The rest of the trip back was relatively smooth until they ran into a snow squall over the Channel. As they approached the English landing field lights flashed to mark the runway and they descended. It was a bumpy ride as the pilot fought the gusts that slammed the craft. Finally with a thud the wheels touched down. It was Garrison who realized that they were not slowing as fast as they should but he resisted second guessing the pilot. Instead he told his men to 'Hold on'.
Moments later the plane lurched, canted and came to a sudden stop throwing all forward. Thanks to Garrison's warning there would be a few sore shoulders and arms but no one was injured. Even Actor and Casino had slid only so far having been grabbed and held by the others. A truck arrived and when they climbed down they saw what had happened. The plane had been blown off the runway. Goniff slipped and landed hard which explained why the plane had trouble slowing down. The runway was slippery. Seeing how bad it was they were just glad they were home all in one piece.
The truck took them to the Hospital first where Casino was admitted and Actor was left for assessment. The other three were taken to Headquarters for the debriefing. When it was all over Garrison borrowed a jeep and they went back to the Hospital.
Because visiting hours were over they were not allowed entry but Actor was ready to go home. The diagnosis was a wrenched back. He was given pain medication, in pill form, not a bottle, and told to come back tomorrow. Garrison drove them back to their base.
The following day Garrison and Actor returned to the Hospital. While the Italian waited to see the Doctor and the Officer to inquire about Casino he dropped in on Captain Lowry. The man was sitting up in bed with his leg elevated and wrapped. Though pale and thin the Captain looked happy.
"Good to see you got back okay,' he said with a smile.
"Good to be back. How's the leg?" Privately he had steeled himself to not seeing it so he was relieved.
"The bullet hit the bone and cracked it. The infection's being stubborn. Still could lose the leg. Garrison saw the wistful look but he brightened and said, "But for now I still have two legs and my life. Either way I'll need a cane. It's a very distinguished look, you know, a man with a fancy cane.
He turned serious again. "I know I have you to thank for my life and I thank you." He saddened as he said, "I guess I'd given up hope there and that I regret."
"Under the circumstances…"
"No. My Dad always told me. Never Give Up. I let him down."
"The fact you are alive and you still have your leg means you didn't give up. If you had, you'd be dead now so don't sell yourself short."
"Yeah, I guess you're right." He looked sadly down at his leg and put a hand on his thigh. "I guess I can kiss goodbye my career as a tap dancer."
"You dance?" asked Garrison with interest. It was not something he expected and it was a change of topic that could brighten the mood.
"No," he said with a laugh. "Two left feet. But I loved watching Ginger Rogers and Fred Astaire. I always wanted to be Fred and dance with her."
"Now you have a reason why you're not as good as he is. You have a war wound."
Lowry's smile brightened. "That's right. They have silver taps and I have a Purple Heart."
Garrison could not help returning the grin. Here was a man you could not keep down. He reminded him a bit of Goniff.
The grin faded as Lowry said, "It's a good thing I didn't take your Guardian with me. No telling how he would have fared. How is he, by the way? You said he'd been injured or do you still have him?"
"Yes, he's fine now. He just needed rest. He actually helped with your rescue."
"Tell him thanks for me and the other guys." He turned to look out the window at the cold greyness outside and then back to his guest. "If you're ever in South Carolina, look me up. I'm sure my Dad will want to personally thank you. He asked for your name so don't be surprised if he sends you a letter or something. He said he was looking forward to having me home."
"Tell your Dad, he's welcome but it wasn't just me. I had a lot of help."
"Yeah, I told him that though I wasn't sure how many on your team. I don't remember much about the rescue or the trip home. Doc said the infection caused that."
"Well, you're back now."
"Yeah, in time to see all the pretty young nurses." He was grinning until he noticed Matron standing at the door. She was neither pretty nor young.
"Visiting hours do not start for another fifteen minutes. You are to leave now!" She was tall, broad shouldered and her scowl matched Ulryk's scowl. Even Actor could not have charmed her.
Knowing their time was up Lowry said, "Thanks, Lieutenant."
"You're welcome Captain. "They shook hands knowing this was farewell.
Back in the waiting room Garrison saw Actor sitting near the door watching a young woman in uniform. She looked very smart in her blue skirt and double breasted jacket with brass buttons. Even her black sensible shoes did not detract from her look.
Seeing Garrison arrive Actor grinned and using the cane and the arm of the chair he pushed himself to his feet. Seeing the motion the young woman smiled as she looked up and then blushed when she saw the look on his face.
"Thank you for keeping me company," said Actor smoothly with his accent intact, "but I am afraid I must now take my leave." He took two steps closer and said, "May I?" as he held out his hand.
Unsure, she gave him her hand and then blushed deeply as kissed her hand.
"Grazie Signorina." He released her hand and the two men left the room. As soon as they were out of her sight Actor stopped and sagged with a groan.
"Actor?" asked Garrison anxiously. Then he remembered. Actor was vain when it came to women. He had put on an act to impress the young woman and now he was paying for it. Slowly they made their way to the curb and the jeep.