And Baby Makes Three

Chapter 7

Nancy POV

I wake up first with Jimmy's shirt still clutched in my hands. Taking a deep breath, I can still smell the manly cologne on the shirt which for some odd reason relaxes me. It's an odd calming sense but it gives me the sense that although he may not be with me in person I still has a little bit of something of him close by.

I study Jimmy closely as these opportunities are rare. Usually I'm already in bed once he comes to bed and in the morning he's already up. He rarely sleeps without clothes on but I'm pretty sure that he was sound asleep right after me after last night. I giggle at the memory of the previous night. Looking at him, I see how relax he is in his sleep but worry about how dark the bags are under his eyes - about how exhausted he is. I know that he's trying so hard to juggle everything - her and the baby, trying to figure out and get a staff together for the Tonight Show and trying to ignore the idiotic critics that tell him that he's a worthless, has no talent, and will be the doom for the Tonight Show - it being cancelled in six months.

I think how far he has come since they first met. He was struggling to find his place in Hollywood. When they met on the set of Fever Pitch his career was going no where to today where he'll become the next person to be host of the Tonight Show. It's a long road to travel in six short years. When she met him there was something about him that she couldn't resist. Forget the seven year age difference - it didn't matter that she was older then him and nor did it matter to him. She thought that he was so darn stinking cute and he made her smile, laugh and become a kid at heart. No other man made her feel as special and loved as Jimmy did. He was such a sweet romantic and still was to her. When he decided to ask her to marry him, he actually asked her father for her hand first. Who does that nowadays?

Even my family thought that I was crazy to be dating Jimmy, accept his proposal, and go through with the wedding. All except my father who saw a man that loved and treasured his daughter more then anything in the world. All that anyone ever saw was the fun, joking Jimmy. They never saw the other sides to Jimmy - the serious, heartfelt, sad, supportive or any other side that appeared when we were alone. They never see the creative Jimmy that writes me love notes just to tell me that I'm loved or the small gifts that he gives me to show how much he cares and thinks about me. No one knows Jimmy as intimately as I do. I love that he thinks that I'm the coolest girl in the world for him.

As I look at him I wish we could get out of town for a bit to a place where no one really knows him. A place where we could get out and just be nobodys in the world. This weekend though - just lock the world away - not caring about the news, football, or anything else and just spoiled him like he has spoiled me since we figured out that I was pregnant.

The sense of peacefulness comes to an abrupt end by Jimmy screaming.

"Fucking night terrors," I mutter to myself and there's nothing I can do for him.

Normally, kids do outgrow them but for a few they never go away. Jimmy was one of those that continued into adulthood. His night terrors are stress induced. The first time he stayed with me was when I was introduced to them. I almost got punched in the nose because I didn't realize what was going on. He felt so ashamed about it. I didn't know what to tell him - I felt terrible for him because he was petrified by the dream and then embarrassed about his reaction and tears. I told him that no matter what I would hold him and love him and calm him after his night terrors and not to be embarrassed about them. It was something that he could lean on me for the sense of security. I know it's stupid but it made me feel happy in the sense that I could help him with something instead of him helping me feel better all the time.

That was why Jimmy didn't sleep much - because it was so hard to get back to sleep after having one of these nightmares. Jimmy kept screaming and I wanted to step him and hold him, telling him that everything was all right but I couldn't take a chance with Jimmy taking a swing. In his terrors he was always being ambushed by someone or something so he always felt like he had to fight. He became so enwrapped in the dream that he threw himself off the bed, which startled him awake.

"Nancy," he pleaded.

"I'm right here," I told him running from my side of the bed to where he was on the floor. "Everything is okay, Jimmy," I reassured him as I hold him.

God I wished these night terrors would go away. It took him awhile to awake to full consciousness after these dreams. Until awake he needed something, either me or my pillow, to make sure everything was okay. Since we had gotten married, I cut my travel as much as possible to be here for him when he had these. I had received a few phone calls in the middle of the night from him when I did travel to calm him down and to let him know I was okay.

She held him close and caress his face, feeling the tears of terrors from him, as he wrapped his arms around her.

"Let's get back into bed," I say to him. He gets back on his feet, gets into bed and holds the bedding close to him, still totally freaked out by the dream.

"I hate these things", he says as he lays his head on my chest.

"I know Jimmy, I know. I wish I could take them away from you. What happened in the dream?"

He says nothing, which is unusual. I look down and he's asleep. Sometimes these terrors just wipes him out physically. He tried sleeping medication once but it intensified the dream and I couldn't shake him out of it quickly enough in my opinion. Something that we didn't want to repeat. With him sleeping I decide to go back to sleep as well.

When I awoke 2 hours or so later Jimmy was awake and in the same position that we fell back to sleep in. He was just staring at the wall with the silent tears falling from his eyes.

"Hey," I say to him and start caressing his hair and head, "what's got you so deep in thought?"

"I'm totally scared."

"Scared? Scared about what?"

"Everything. Right now I feel like the whole world is out to get me. I'm afraid that if something is wrong with our baby will I be strong enough for you, what if something happens and we lose the baby? I don't know how to bounce back from that. I just want this baby so bad - this is something you and I created together - no one else had any part except God for a change. I don't want other people interfering either on how we handle the pregnancy, the birth, or raising our child. Do you understand," Jimmy said as he raises his head and looks at me, "our child - no one else's," and he lays back down and puts his head back on my chest.

"Jimmy, I'm scared too. I wonder if I should be doing anything except resting but I don't think I could stay in bed throughout the pregnancy. I feel the same way too about having people trying to tell us how to do it - I don't mind suggestions but I don't want people to throw their opinions on us thinking that they know what they're talking about and we are stupid idiots. Believe me I deal with that on every movie Drew and I produce."

"Nance, I'm so tired. I'm so glad I don't have to drive to work and back but yesterday I wanted to nap so bad because I was so tired but I couldn't. We had one guest on the show that I didn't know really anything about and didn't care to but had to pretend to be interested and not fall asleep during their interview. I wish I could get some time off but anything not scheduled becomes suspicious."

"I know, and I can tell you're exhausted. This weekend you and I just lay here - sleep when we want, make love when we want, eat when we want, talk when we want - you get the picture. You need a break - I know that, Lorne knows that , so hopefully soon he'll schedule one." Mental note to myself - call Lorne to talk to him about this so my workaholic husband can get a break.

"Can I ask you a favor," Jimmy asks me.

"What do you need?"

"Can we just lay here awhile?"

"Sure," I tell him - I wonder what that dream was about because whatever it was must have really spooked him.

"Jimmy," I ask a few minutes later, "Will you tell me what your dream was about?"

Jimmy grips me like he has to make sure I'm real and this is reality. I have a suspicion that the dream wasn't him being ambushed like usual - it was probably something about the baby and that something goes horribly wrong. I want him to know that it's okay for him to tell me - even it was scary - I don't want him to feel like he has to have the whole world on his shoulders.

"Please don't get mad at me," Jimmy says in tears.

"Why would I be mad - it was only a dream and it hasn't happened in reality, okay?"

"We found out that the baby had problems - I don't remember really what - I'm assuming maybe down syndrome or something like that and I decided that we can't handle it and made you..." he couldn't finished.

"Jimmy, it's okay - it hasn't happened and it won't because you're not like that. I love you so much - you could never disappointment me. I know there are some people that wonder why I stay with you but they don't know the real you - I do and I know that you would never ever ask me to do anything stupid like that. Like you said we will figure out a way to handle what ever is thrown at us."

I keep caressing him until he falls back to sleep. I wait a little while to make sure he's in a deep sleep before I grab my cell phone and call Lorne, hoping that 12 Noon on Saturday isn't too early.

I dial Lorne's number.

"Hi there mother - to - be. How are you feeling today," Lorne asks in his cheerful self.

"I'm pretty good."

"How's Jimmy?"

I thought that was an odd question just for the fact that I'm calling him, which I rarely do, I would have thought he was more interested in asking why I was calling him.

"Rough morning," I told him.

"Now don't be mad at him but he was up sometime around 2:00, 2:30 and he called me. It was a strange conversation - one that I'm not sure he was entirely awake for."

"Oh?"

"I sent him a text telling him to call me when he could, knowing that he turned his phone off the minute he got home. There's an intern, Mary, for his show that has figured out that you're pregnant and she's wiling to do what ever to keep everyone else guessing. She actually announced it last night when we went to dinner but no one believed her. They thought that she was nuts. Come to find out her mother was the same age you are when she had her."

"You mean, that no one thinks that I'm pregnant - what? That I'm too old?"

"I do believe so. Most believe that someone is dying in Jimmy's family because your brother Jim said it wasn't yours."

"Seriously?"

"Yep. Have you told anyone else?"

"No, not yet. I just want to get past the first trimester and make sure that the baby's okay before we let people in on our secret. At least I think that's the plan. So you said he called you..."

"The call ended when he said, I'm tired and I told him to go back to bed and snuggle with you. I hope he did."

"He did. Hey the reason for my call is that I'm worried about him."

"You too?"

"Have you seen how dark the bags are under his eyes? He needs to take a week off and get out of town. He had another night terror this morning."

"I know, I'm trying to arrange Memorial Day week."

"How about the week before? Memorial Day week everyone comes up - if it's the week before no one will be there. If not that week, then the week after Memorial Day would work."

"He's off 4th of July week as well."

"Good. You know he's going to be the death of me. I

"Nancy - how bad was the night terror?"

"One of the worse ones he's had in awhile. He flipped himself off the bed and woke himself up. Unlike his normal terror where he's being ambushed this time it was him forcing me to have an abortion. The worse part was that he was afraid that I would be mad at him for having the dream. He needs a break - and I want to take him up to New Hampshire."

"I remember he had a particularly bad one in the office and it spooked him - it took him awhile to come to awake to full consciousness - I almost had to have other SNLers fill in for him at dress rehearsal for that show. After that I kept the calming classical music on until he awoke - never had one again in my office."

"I'll have to try that for him. He's always going to bed after I am and up before me and I know it's got to catch up to him after awhile. Hey, I'll let you go and have a good show tonight. Season finale?"

"Yeah - sad to see the veterans go - it's going to be a rebuilding year next season."

"Love ya, Lorne."

"You too, Nancy, take care of our boy."

The phone call ends, Nancy turns off her cell phone, and snuggles with Jimmy, turning on calm classical music in hopes of him not having another dream.