(Lin-) I hope to find you all in good health. Happy Halloween. I am aware that you must have been disappointed that Noll did not visit for your favourite holiday (excluding Christmas, Easter and your Birthdays) but he had an unfortunate experience shortly prior to the time of his intended visit...
(Yasuhara-) Unfortunate? It was brilliant! I don't think I've ever seen the boy run so fast... But Luella!!! There's a Ghost Hunt crossover story with Bleach! It basically follows your darling son's ritual humiliation by members of the afterlife! It's written by FionaH93 who is HarunoRin's sister! Have a look! I'm sure you'll love it!
(Lin-) (Cough) Anyway... Here's the file. Sorry it's comparatively short, but Naru will be back any moment.
"This is the most stupid case that I've ever accepted." Naru folded his arms and sighed. "Remind me, Mai- Why did we accept this?"
"Because I threatened to withhold your tea." The small assistant replied, grinning. "Come on- lighten up! This is practically a vacation!"
"And last time we were on vacation you and Masako ended up closer than usual."
Mai flushed. "Get over your hormones, Naru!" She stormed past him and into the hotel. "How bad can this be? The guy probably ran away so we'll not need to do anything."
Naru sighed. "A man on drugs disappears and then returns telling everyone he's seen the future. This is hardly the talk of a sane man."
"Maybe the break will do you good, Naru." John supplied helpfully. "Besides, the owner has said we can use the facilities as we wish."
"It's a luxury hotel, Naru!" Mai grinned. "I've never been in one before!"
At this the cold teen's heart melted a little. Just a little. "Fine."
"Yay!" Mai and John high-fived and Yasuhara cheered.
Naru had been relaxing (as much as he can) with a book written by himself, marvelling over the sheer genius it must take to some up with such theories, when there was a flash of light outside.
"Lin?" Naru asked, but when he looked around, his shady assistant was nowhere to be found.
(Yasuhara-) Actually at that moment our Linny boy was in the swimming pool in bright yellow Speedos. I took photos!
Curious, Naru stood up and picked up one of the handheld cameras, heading outside to the locked garden shed from where the light had come. Looking around for any other source, he used a little PK to unlock the shed and stepped inside.
Suddenly, the door shut behind him and there was a strange whooping sound as the light flashed over and over.
Suddenly, the ground lurched and he was thrown to the floor, but all else seemed normal. Flicking his beautiful hair out of his eyes, the narcissist stood and opened the door cautiously.
Everything looked normal...
Oh.
Naru's eyes widened.
Actually widened.
Hell, his eyeballs nearly popped out.
He could see himself, laughing. This 'other Naru' was sitting at a small table with his parents and Mai, laughing at something his father had said.
His father. The one who made jokes about chickens and roads.
Suddenly, Lin appeared from inside and smiled at the four, glancing behind him and beckoning someone out.
Out came the monk and Yasuhara... holding hands.
...
As Naru watched, dumbfounded, Takigawa cheerfully announced that the pair was going to get married.
MARRIED.
What the HELL was going on?!
As if he hadn't suffered enough trauma, a small child came and clutched onto 'other Naru's' leg, shouting for Daddy to play.
And 'other Naru' OBLIGED!
Just before Naru passed out, he heard Mai telling Luella Davis how glad she was that the pair had invested in the new treatment that enable men to carry the children during pregnancy instead of the woman.
And then all was blackness.
Naru practically threw himself out of that goddamned shed, dropping the camcorder into Lin's lap before running down the road, having hysterics about gay monks and man-pregnancies.
Needless to say... the video found itself on YouTube not five minutes later.
(Yasuhara-) I KNEW Takigawa couldn't resist me!
(Lin-) Do you even care that you turn out to be gay? I thought you had a girlfriend?
(Yasuhara-) Hey, man. I don't judge. I just love.