How to Woo Properly: Chapter 7

Author's Disclaimer: No, I still do not own Labyrinth. All rights go to their respective owners. I enjoy playing with the characters, and hope it does them some justice. Also, sorry for the month-long wait on this chapter. Life has been super busy, but I'm getting back on track now. As a result, I made this chapter extra long. Anyway, the story continues, after much persistence on Jareth's part. Jareth has been preparing, but is he ready, or is Sarah for that matter? Enjoy!

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Chapter 7: Bad Dates: Trolls and Dwarves

"Sarah, how did the second date go? Even better than the first? I bet it was so romantic!"

"If only, Karen. If anything, it was much worse. However, I have since made a rule to never go to a movie theater with Jareth."

"Why?"

"Because, Karen, every time that I have tried to go with Jareth to a movie theater, it always ends in disaster. I have two prime examples to tell you about."

"Oh, more bloody details."

"Yeah, that second date was pure disaster, even if Jareth deludes himself into thinking that it all went just fine."

"Well, he did get you in the end, right?"

"Yes, though it took him longer because of it. He was so proud of being able to arrange everything to surprise me, and then one thing after another happened. It was a semi-casual dress date, which I took as a good sign. The only truly good part of that date was when I got to ride with him on his motorcycle throughout the night."

"Where did he take you for dinner?"

"The King's Grille."

"Wait, as in-"

"That smoky, really loud man's man bar? Yes, that one."

"Jareth, where are you taking me for dinner tonight? I confess that I am completely at a loss to figure it out, as we are now leaving State Street, and all of the really good restaurants."

"You'll like this place, Sarah. The food comes highly recommended."

"Sure, Jareth."

"I'm sure of it."

"It was then that we turned and began to slow down as we got onto what was commonly known as "Ale Alley", the street with the most bars on it for the next hundred miles in any direction. I was not thrilled, but I had been to one that was pretty nice, so I was hoping. I found out I was wrong once we parked in front of The King's Grille. I was trying to give him a fair chance, but that didn't work out as planned. He was just so sure of himself."

"Really, Jareth? This is where you are taking me to dinner?"

"Have you ever been here before, Sarah?"

"No, but I hear a lot about it, and none of it good."

"It came highly recommended, which is enough for me. Seeing as this is a second chance date, I feel you should be willing to give not only me a second chance to impress you. Have some faith."

"Alright. But just because it says that it caters to kings does not mean you should enter. Who recommended this place to you? The king of the trolls?"

"No, though I am sure he would love it here."

"Oh, I bet he would. He'd fit right in with the rest of the guys who love this place. So, who really recommended this place?"

"Does it matter? Someone I know who lives around here and knows the area."

"Yep, I knew it. You asked Dave."

"So what if I did?"

"He is great with you, but he is not exactly the talking type. His taste in food and drinking establishments is very different, compared to Jessie or me."

"He is a great guy."

"Who likes places like this. I hope the food is good, as I already don't like it, and I'm only in the vestibule."

"At this point, Jareth and I were standing in awe inside the vestibule, where loud classic rock could be heard being blasted, and smokers stood beside us, enjoying the air before going back inside. The green and brown décor, with green neon lights I might add, were a little much for me, though Jareth was trying to smile. He just kept looking from the neon lights to the guys grunting at one another, who then gave me a once-over, prompting Jareth to drag me inside quickly. Wow, was that place warm and odd-smelling. I hate the smell of beer, and stale beer smell is one hundred times worse."

"Jareth, don't bog them."

"If they deserve it, then I will. If they think they can go near you, they have another thing coming."

"Get used to it, as I am one of three girls in this entire place. They are going to stare at me all night long."

"We'll see about that."

"You bog them, and all the ground you gained with me will be lost. If you can't deal with normal guys or competition, then you have other problems you need to deal with first before I will ever consider dating you again."

"You needn't worry there, Sarah. I will behave myself."

"I'll be the judge of that. As it is, this place is already giving me the heebie-jeebies. If it wasn't Dave who recommended it, it must have been the king of the trolls, or some other creature who enjoys his ale, as I can't imagine other men doing so."

"It seems to be quite packed in here."

"That's true. Probably more of your fae friends, as I'm sure they like places like this and would love to get to know me in a more intimate setting."

That's right, Jareth, squirm away.

"Either way, Jareth, I don't care about them, or anyone who frequents this place. I suddenly feel a great desire to go and play darts with those guys."

I might feel a little more comfortable surrounded by so many men if I had those in my hands.

"Let's just sit down, talk, and enjoy some food. I'm sure it will grow on you the longer we stay."

"Sure, it'll grow on me about as much as the idea of other guys hitting on me will grow on you."

Or about as much as your hair grows, in all its poofy glory.

"Jareth continued to tut and try to reassure me that it would get better as we looked at what was offered on the menu. I did my best to not appear disdainful of the whole place, but it was difficult. Jareth felt it necessary to continue to expound upon all the ways in which the bar was 'perfect' for going on dates to. This strain of conversation ceased the moment our first waiter appeared."

"Your first waiter? Did you have more than one?"

"Oh yes. A few, in fact. I chalk it up to Jareth being scary when jealous."

And him being overly fond of using the bog to solve all of his problems.

"I can see that."

"Yes, but he has gotten much better about his jealousy. He is better at hiding it, and since we became engaged, I think he feels much more secure, which helps. Before that, he was much worse."

That night alone was a new record high for number of non-goblin creatures to be sent to the bog. Honestly, I think the goblins were jealous of how much others were sent to the bog.

"So what happened to the first waiter, Sarah?"

"Well, when the first guy came, he was very attentive toward me, asking what I wanted, and then ignored Jareth entirely. Personally, I thought it was funny, especially because the guy looked a couple years younger than me, and he was trying so hard to impress me. Jareth noticed, and he was not happy. When Jareth tried to summon him back, he tried twice before I called the waiter back, who ran over to me immediately. I just smiled serenely at Jareth, and blinked prettily at the waiter before asking him to bring something for Jareth to drink, and then he actually acknowledged Jareth with a nod, before running back to the bar to get our drinks. I enjoyed watching Jareth's face turn several shades darker before he finally spoke again. Really, he seemed to think that something different would happen."

"Sarah, what did you just do?"

"Ask him to get you a drink. You wanted one, didn't you?"

"Yes, but I could have handled it myself."

"I know, but I wanted to help. You don't like it when I try to do something for you?"

Wait for it…. Oh, don't you look adorable when you squirm like that? Wait, adorable? What is this?

"No, I really do like it when you do. But in this case, I feel a sense of duty to be able to handle all of this. Put it down to manly pride in wanting to take care of you tonight."

"Of course, Jareth, you and your manly things you do. You just looked so upset, and I was afraid you were going to do something ridiculous, like pick up the waiter by the collar and yell at him, or worse, just bog him for his indifference toward you and his complete attention to me."

"He should pay attention to you."

"I agree, as it is entirely appropriate to do when serving someone, especially a lady. And yet you didn't seem to like how much attention he was paying."

"It was just a little more than was strictly necessary."

"So I don't actually deserve that much attention? Just enough to smile, and the rest spent on you? That seems a little selfish if you ask me."

"Sarah, I was only trying-"

"Jareth was saved from the hole he was digging by our waiter, who was still way too excited to see me. I almost felt bad for Jareth, but he just didn't know how to deal with other men. I know he is used to getting everything he asks for, but he could at least have gone along with it or something, if only because he knew I didn't like it."

"Here are your drinks! Your vodka martini, shaken not stirred, Miss, just as you ordered. And a rum and coke for you, Sir."

"I ordered a whiskey sour."

"Sorry, man, no need to get so upset. I probably just confused your order with another table's. I'll be right back with it."

"I hope so."

"Take it easy on him, Jareth. He means no harm."

"No harm, tra la la? He is trying to hit on you, Sarah."

"And clearly, I haven't tried to encourage him, other than smile once out of necessity. Or have you forgotten that I'm on a date with you? Get a grip, Jareth."

"Jareth continued to mumble about how he would "chilly down", whatever that meant, until our waiter came back, but not only with his drink, but with a beer, which he then gave to me with the widest grin I ever saw."

"This is for you, Miss. It seems you have a secret admirer."

"Then it is a shame for him, as I am the one going on a date with her, not him. Please tell the rest of the bar to stop ogling my date, or I will personally move their eyes so they cannot stare at her."

"Easy there, man. Just because she is friend-zoning you is no reason to take it out on me."

"Jareth looked ready to do something bad, so I stepped in, giving the drink back to the waiter. Heck if I was going to deal with Jareth sulking about me accepting the drink. Have you ever seen him in one of those moods? Be glad."

"Could you please take back this drink? As kind as it is, I am dating Jareth, and I have no intention to divide my attention from him."

"But it was especially for you."

"Well, it is a shame, but I don't like beer. If you don't want to waste the free drink, Jareth, feel free to drink it by all means. I don't mind."

"I think I will do just that," said Jareth quickly taking the bottle and swallowing it all in one swig, "and don't you want to take our orders for our food?"

"Our waiter looked sad, but that was his mistake for trying anything with me when Jareth was around. He took our orders and then left dejectedly."

"Well, that is the weakest ale I have ever tasted. And that stuff is special? Ha! I'd like to see what happens if goblin ale was ever switched with it. You wouldn't be able to drink more than two before being completely out of it."

"Beer here is very weak, and horrible to smell, just so you know."

"Duly noted, Sarah. You'll never smell that stuff on my breath when I kiss you later."

"Well, that is one mercy."

"Soon after, our waiter came back to refill our drinks. The fact that he "bumped" into Jareth, knocking food onto him was a little much for Jareth, so he gave that poor waiter one of his "I am the King; you will fear me now!" looks, and that was the last we saw of that waiter."

Bog: 1. Jareth: 0. It was going to be a long, long night.

"Jareth, did you have to do that? You don't have to sink to their level. You could just act like a gentleman and ignore him."

"When have I ever acted like a gentleman around you, Sarah?"

"Good point."

But not in your favor. Or was it?

"Another waiter came soon after, ready to serve. His only problem was that he completely ignored me, and messed up both of our orders when he retook them, and so he disappeared quickly, too. He barely lasted fifteen minutes; I was hoping that the next one would last the rest of the night."

Bog: 2. Jareth: 0. Lucky the next guy seemed to be seeing a pattern.

"Soon after that, our last waiter came, with food done properly. We ate, trying to go back to what we were talking about before. It was good until a game on TV finished at last, causing half of the bar to scream either in joy or defeat. I was fine with it, but Jareth did not like it."

"Does that remind you of your goblins, Jareth?"

"Yes, a little. Though, now I think back to what you said about trolls liking this, and I think you are slightly mistaken. The atmosphere is too loud for them. This is far more suited to the dwarves I know. They would love it here."

"I bet they would. They have always seemed like the loud, friendly types."

"That they are. You don't get much louder than dwarves when drinking."

"Who you calling dwarf, buddy? You better not be talking about me."

"Well, considering your demeanor and how short you are, you could fit right in with them."

"Jareth," I hissed, "this is not the time or place to say such things!"

"Jareth waved my warning off as though it were no problem. Considering just how drunk that guy and his friends were, I was unsure who to be more concerned for. I washed my hands of it all, and just enjoyed the show."

"I'm no dwarf, though I could fight a whole lot better than any of 'em could!"

"I doubt that highly. They are quite bloodthirsty and mighty warriors, and I'm sure you wouldn't last long with them."

"Are you saying you could somehow, considering how puny you are?"

"Of course! I'm taller, better looking, and more brilliant than they are by far."

"It doesn't mean you can fight. You probably wouldn't last five minutes in a boxing ring with your skinny arms and body."

"Do you wish to test this theory and see how wrong you are?"

"I'd love to."

"You are too drunk to do anything, and you are going to lose. You might as well declare me the winner now."

"Why I oughta-"

"It was at this point that I decided to intervene. It was one thing when it was just Jareth and the drunk dude, but another thing entirely when five of his buddies joined him. Jareth may still win, but there was point in getting kicked out of the bar to prove it."

"Jareth! Have you forgotten why we are here? Do you still wish to talk to me, or would you rather watch me leave you right now?"

"Hey, lady, go hide in the bathroom or something. We are going to fight, and we don't need you around to stop it."

"How dare you speak to Sarah like that! You will apologize to her right now."

"Fat chance, buddy. We will beat you up, and then we will take good care of her-"

"Jareth pulled out another of his looks of "To the bog!", and that seemed to scare all the guys away."

"Sarah, why does he like saying that?"

"Where he grew up in England, there were bogs, and they are considered horrible places."

"Okay. So, what happened after that? Did you just give up and go home?"

"I wish. No, he still insisted on finishing the date, so we got onto his bike again and rode to the movie theater. We decided to see a comedy, and Jareth attempted to hold my hand. I wasn't quite ready to after that latest little stunt in the bar."

Bog: 8. Jareth: 0. Why can't Jareth be like normal men for once?

"The movie was good, and we were both enjoying it until the people in front of us starting talking to one another. After five minutes and not stopping, Jareth had had enough."

"Could you please continue talking outside the movie? Some of us are trying to enjoy this."

"It's a big theater, you move."

"We were here first. Do the right thing and move, or else stop talking."

"We will talk all we want to, and there isn't anything you can do about it."

"Oh, I bet I could."

"Would the both of you continue your argument over who is moving outside? There are other people besides you in this theater, and we want to watch the movie, too."

"Listen, I am trying to help by getting rid of these annoying people-"

"Annoying? We were barely talking, and not that loud."

"You most certainly were. You were talking for five minutes at least. Can't you leave now? I'm tired of dealing with you."

Bog: 10. Jareth: 0. At least the people behind us left us alone after that.

"At that point, I was so glad to get out of the theater. We got ice cream right after that, with Jareth sneaking us to the front of the line so that I could get my favorite flavor. And then we finally went home."

More like Jareth reordering time so that we could be in front of the line of thirty people, but patience was not something he had anymore.

"Jareth, you really need to be more careful about bogging everyone who annoys you. People are not goblins, and that is how normal people act. If you can't deal with that, we should not be dating."

"Is that how you really feel, Sarah?"

"Yes, it is. I gave you another chance because I thought that you had learned to wait, even if you pulled some underhanded things to keep me thinking of you. You are too jealous. You need to cool down, as clearly you care about me more than I care about you."

"We belong together. You will see that as we date more."

"I don't know about that. I haven't dated all that many men, to be honest. How can I be sure that I belong with you?"

"Because I am the only one who does this."

"All the tension from the night suddenly became real in that kiss that Jareth gave me. He pushed, and I fought back. We were both burning, trying to prove ourselves, and so after some jabbing with my elbow, I was free. I was shaking, but still free. That was a real kiss."

"You will leave now, Jareth. I am not going to deal with this. Until you can get your act together, we are never going to date again."

"I'm never going to give you up, Sarah."

"Fine, Jareth. But don't even think about visiting me in my dreams again, or so help me-"

"I get it. I know when I am not wanted. Excuse me."

"I was upset for the rest of the night, and all I wanted to do was spite Jareth for putting me through that. I had no idea if I wanted to end up with him at that point, and so I did the best thing I could, date other men. I brought them over to meet Jessie and Dave, and Jareth gave those guys some dark looks, though always smiled at me. If the other guys annoyed me in small ways, Jareth was sure to know and took the time to come and talk to me, since he knew I was more receptive to him when I was annoyed with all other men."

"I dated several men, and then Jareth decided to date another girl. That was weird. She hung on his every word, and I didn't like her. Not only did she have good looks and no brains, but she was the same model that had dated Dick right after he left me. It was around then that I was dating George, who was too indecisive for his own good. He never made decisions about dates, always asking me what I wanted. It was at a party one night where both Jareth and I had brought our dates, and I was talking to George about our date the next night."

"So, George, what are we doing for our next date?"

"I don't know. What do you feel like doing?"

"I'm not sure. I'm tired of making the decisions. I'd rather be surprised for once; why don't you pick this time?"

"But I don't want to. I wish there was some way that it could just be decided for me."

Sure, I shuddered, and that is completely natural. It is not often that all the lights manage to flicker at once like that. I knew who was coming.

"So, George, have you ever wanted to go on a double date before?"

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Author's Notes: So, originally, I had this grand plan that I would be able to fit both movie dates into this one chapter, and then my wordiness took over. Looks like the two dates will be split up, and then we will continue on with our regularly scheduled chapters. Jareth still has a couple things to learn about making Sarah happy, so more fun to come. Also, I was trying to make Sarah more sarcastic in this chapter, though I don't know if I succeeded in that, as I fear she was trollin' more than being sarcastic in parts. Speaking of trolls, there is a reference to the song made famous by them, though personally, I loved the song before I knew what it stood for, so no shame about including it. Also, yes, I made a reference to James Bond, because why not? I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Thanks for reading and commenting!

FarGreenCountrySwiftSunrise: Awesome! I loved the games, too, though it was hard to choose which ones to narrow it down to. It is so much fun imagining those two playing board games, no matter what team they are on. And there's still a couple more adventures to come. Thanks for the review!

SVJohnson8721: Thanks! I love seeing Jareth all in leather on a bike, so I'm glad that I came across that story to have it here. She does so many great stories, though that is one of my favorites of hers by far. Thanks for commenting!