Once Italy/Nami and France/Sanji had calmed down, England/Zoro asked "Usopp? This ship has a Transponder Snail, doesn't it?"

"Um, yeah, it's inside… why?"

"I was just wondering… your Transponder Snail last time had these strange symbols on it instead of the numbers that I'm used to. Do you think I could take a look at this one?"

"Sure," he shrugged. He led England/Zoro to the Snail. The others followed them.

"Here it is," he said. England/Zoro leaned forward and studied the buttons.

"Wait…" he muttered. "These are… numbers."

"What'd you expect?"

"But—" He turned around and glared at Usopp. "What the hell were those weird symbols on the last Snail!?"

"Oh!" laughed Luffy. "Usopp and I drew on the buttons!"

England/Zoro banged his head on the wall.

"What're you doing, Zoro—I mean, Arthur?"

"Never mind," said England through gritted teeth. He picked up the receiver on the Snail.

"Are you going to try dialing Al's house?" said Canada/Chopper quietly.

"Hm?" England/Zoro looked around until he spotted the reindeer. "Yes, but I don't think that just the number by itself will work… it doesn't hurt to try, I suppose…"

He dialed the number and waited. While it was ringing, Luffy snatched the receiver from him. Someone picked up on the other end.

"Yes?" said the person.

"Hey, is this… um…"

"Alfred Jones' house," whispered England/Zoro.

"Is this Alfred Jones' house?"

"Wait a minute…" said the person. "I know that voice…"

"Hey, Arthur!" said Luffy happily. "I think we have the right place!"

There was some muffled talking on the other end – apparently the person was saying something to someone else with the receiver covered. They spoke again.

"Yes, this is Alfred Jones' house," said another person in a gruff voice. America/Franky frowned.

"I don't recognize either of those voices… who are they?"

The first voice said "Could you please give us your coordinates right now?"

"Sure!" said Luffy. "I just have to check the maps…"

"Wait, Luffy," whispered Usopp. "Something's not right here."

America/Franky took the receiver from Luffy. "Hey, um, who is this exactly?"

"…this is Alfred Jones, of course. That is, he's next to me…" said the first voice.

"Imposter!" yelled America. "I'm Alfred Jones!"

"Oh, no! Captain Smoker, our cover's blown!"

"Hang up the goddamn receiver, Tashigi!"

Kacha

There was general silence whilst everyone stared at the Snail.

"Um… what was that?" asked Italy/Nami.

"The Marines," muttered England/Zoro. "Alfred, your telephone number here calls the Marines."

"Hey, the Marines are awesome! And brave, and—"

"Not in this world," said France/Sanji. "At least, not to pirates."

"…oh."

"Look, I'm going to try and figure out how to dial our universe," said England/Zoro. "It might take a while."

"Kay!" America/Franky took Canada/Chopper and put him on his shoulders again.

"Al, please don't put me on your shoulders…"

"Hey, nothing you can do about it!" said America/Franky happily. "I mean, you're pretty tiny right now!"

Japan/Robin whispered something to Canada/Chopper. The latter nodded and suddenly grew to about six feet high. He fell off of America/Franky's shoulders.

"Dude! What the freaking hell!?"

"I believe you may have forgotten," said France/Sanji, "but our dear Kiku mentioned that the reindeer can change his form."

"That…" America/Franky stared at Canada/Chopper. "That is the coolest thing I've ever heard! Wait…" he frowned and thought. "Didn't you say something last night about this guy, Franky or whoever?"

"No, he only said that he's a pervert," said England/Zoro quickly. Everyone else looked at him in confusion.

"Um, England, what—" said Italy/Nami.

"Quiet," muttered England/Zoro. "This is one time where I'd rather delay the inevitable."

"Inevitable?" asked America/Franky. "What d'you mean?"

"Nothing!" exclaimed France/Sanji. "Nothing at all!"

"Well, okay…" America/Franky shrugged. "You know, I'm still really tired. Maybe I need more food!"

He patted his stomach area and looked down in confusion at the metal sound that came from it. "What…"

Feeling around, he found a ridge and pulled, revealing his compartment of empty cola bottles. He took them out, looked at them, and looked up. "Okay, someone tell me what's going on."

They sighed and explained it to him.

"I…" he grinned. "I have no words to express just how FUCKING HAPPY I AM RIGHT NOW!"

"Alfred, please don't go using your weapons and things," sighed England/Zoro.

"Actually, Arthur-san…" said Japan/Robin, "he may need to know in case of an attack. I shall take the responsibility of instructing him."

"Japan, you are my best friend."