A/N
Hello new readers! Thanks to all of you that have added this story to your alerts or favorites, and for all the reviews and kind PMs. I am seriously blown away by your kindness.
Just a few things I may have forgot to mention. To state the obvious, this is a story that will deal with race relations. I apologize now if something in previous chapters, or this one, offends you. There will probably be more of these instances, so consider yourself warned.
Yes, Alice and Jasper will be in this fic.
Below we have Bella's POV. Thanks for participating in the poll and requesting that she be heard.
Last, but not least, thanks to my fabulous betas AngryBadgerGirl and Lillybellis who have been patient and encouraging every step of the way.
I do not own Twilight.
Whisper of a Thrill
Composed by Thomas Newman
BPOV
After I had showered, I sat in bed replaying the kiss I shared with Edward. I wasn't sure what I expected from him, but the way he took control of that kiss shocked me. I mean, I expected him to be a great kisser. I'd even fantasized about it since the day I threw my happy ass on his piano. But sometimes he seemed unsure of himself; shy even. He would be physically present but I knew his mind was a million miles away. Not during that kiss though. During that kiss he was only attuned to me.
His lips were so warm and soft as they moved against my own. They caressed my flesh and manipulated a part of my soul. The kisses he placed against my neck, before descending upon my mouth, seemed hesitant. Yet in stark contrast to his lips, his hands were strong and sure, setting every nerve ending I possessed ablaze. That same searing heat, tinged with something electric, shot through me each and every time we touched.
Even more mindboggling than the electricity were the feelings that accompanied his touch. Butterflies filled my belly, my breathing would become erratic, and I felt like I was suspended in time. No, there was no concept of time at all when I was with him. We transcended it, becoming one being. It was an infinite, effortless beauty simply being in his presence, and I yearned for more.
I groaned at how utterly ridiculous I sounded. I'd barely known Edward three weeks and he already had me stuck-on-stupid.
Rising to my knees, I hobbled across the bed until I reached the bookshelf. It was past three AM, and I needed sleep. I needed something other than Edward to focus my attention on, so I pulled out the closest book within my reach before settling back on to the bed.
My fingers brushed over the raised title imprinted on the book. Attempting the Impossible: Rene Magritte. The book was another one of Renee's attempts to 'cultivate my feeble mind.' It would provide me with a much needed distraction, so I didn't dwell on its implied purpose.
As I opened the book—mindlessly flipping pages—I wondered what the new day would bring. "Tomorrow" he'd promised, and with that one word I made up my mind. I would happily , and perhaps foolishly, give in to my desires. Give in to Edward. I just hoped he wouldn't make me regret my decision later. I'd been taught through experience that white guys were nice to hang out with, but they didn't date black girls for relationships. Dating was only a means to an end, allowing them to add the experience to their sexual repertoires. I was determined not to be anyone else's rite of passage, Edward included.
In spite of everything my past had taught me, I wanted him. The more time I spent with him, the stronger our connection became, and the less I cared about any consequences. It wasn't a decision that I made hastily. Being mistaken for the maid does sound the warning bells. But he'd apologized, and I could see the sincerity in his eyes.
My God those eyes.
His eyes were too beautiful to be compared to jewels or leaves. They exceeded those lucid descriptions; they were the perfection of green. An adjective should be named after him just to pay tribute to his eyes.
Maybe Masen green?
Those brilliant green spheres looked so unbearably distressed. I had an urge to call him to me, hold him, and gently stroke my fingers through his hair, whispering that everything was going to be okay. But the rational part of my brain was rarely in control when he was around. My hormones transformed my intended gentle whispers of comfort into pleas to be taken hard and fast, so I'd kept my mouth shut whenever the urge struck.
I hadn't even formally addressed him; only offering a 'hi' or 'hey you' in place of his name. I was too scared to say his name; fearing that if I said it out loud, everything would change. Maybe he'd disappear into thin air, or perhaps things would become real. I shuddered at the thoughtof that happening. He'd see I wasn't worth his time or effort. The disapproving looks that came with this sort of relationship would destroy him, and I could already see something was hurting him. I didn't want to be the cause of more pain. So I tried to keep my distance, avoiding the inexplicable pull I felt towards him.
That barely lasted a week.
After our date, I knew fighting my feelings was a lost cause. I was initially upset when he'd asked me out— rather he told me we were going out— then wouldn't speak to me. He could hardly look at me without recoiling, and I couldn't take it. His approval was something I craved like a junkie, and to have him look at me the same way Mike had…it was more than I could handle.
I lashed out at him, and it felt good…for two seconds. Then he'd looked at me, seemingly broken, and I was disgusted with myself. I tried to rein in my feelings of rejection and talk it out. My natural boldness, mixed with my prior misinterpretation of his behavior, came off as a bitchy attitude. He didn't hesitate to call me out on it, either. But we'd cleared the air, and by the end of our date I'd fallen for him.
My eyes drifted to the open windows above my bed and I could see the dawn approaching. The gray night had begun to fade as the light of the new day slowly trickled in. I abandoned any expectation I had of getting rest and turned another page in the book. The image instantly captured my attention. I was familiar with this piece titled, The Son of Man. I'd seen it in a movie once, but never knew its history. It was a simple portrait of a suited man wearing a bowler hat.
Edward was the personification of the painting. I could see the form clearly, but I couldn't see the ocean for the wall, I couldn't see the man for the suit, and I couldn't focus on the man's face because of that damned apple! It was those same annoyingly invisible things that drew me to the piece, and in turn Edward. He brought out an intense and unknown emotion in me, and try as I might I couldn't stay away. I wouldn't be satisfied until I unearthed his secrets. He already owned a piece of me, and deep down I knew if he broke me, I'd be beyond repair.
Since I was freshly showered and still restless, I got out of bed to prepare for my day. My father expected me bright and early, and hopefully our time together would take my mind off Edward.
***
"Charlie Swan," I requested.
I was directed to a small table in the back of the diner where I could see my father's leg hanging out of the booth. His telltale scuffed black boots were a dead giveaway of his hardworking character. He was a blue collar man, who was respected by everyone, and fiercely protected those whom he loved.
"Daddy!" I exclaimed.
"Hey babygirl. You're late."
I ignored his last comment and kicked his shoe to show him I planned on sitting beside him, not across from him. My dad had a way of reading people, and I was not in the mood to be under his scrutinizing gaze. I kissed his cheek, knowing it would make him uncomfortable but he just had to deal with that.
"I wasn't late, I was here on time. I was just sitting outside trying to figure out why you chose this restaurant when there are others closer to us," I questioned.
Blacks Family Diner had been in business in the King neighborhood forever. It wasn't the greatest area, but minority owned businesses thrived here. The diner was opened by Ephraim Black, Quileute chief turned chef. It had been passed down through generations and was currently owned by his great grandson Billy. Dad had been trying to set me up with Billy's son Jacob since he'd moved to Portland.
When I was four, Renee separated from dad and moved us all around the country. A year later, after what little money we had ran out, we'd settled in Phoenix. Dad had refused to sign the divorce papers, and wouldn't send Renee any money unless she settled down and allowed him to see me. It didn't take long before we moved to Portland. Dad had requested a transfer from the Forks Police Department right away, and two months later he packed up all his stuff and moved nearby. The Police Bureau didn't have an immediate opening so he moved in with his best friend Billy until he could save enough money for his own place. Once he had, he worked hard to make sure I was cared for, since Renee generally only thought of herself. Years later, he was promoted Chief of the Portland Police Bureau, and had long since left the King neighborhood.
When I was twelve, I started sneaking out to take the city bus to dad's house. It was fairly easy since -Renee was typically out gallivanting around town. If dad was working —which he usually was— I'd come to the diner and play with Jacob; or Jake as I'd fondly called him. That was until Billy found out and scolded me for taking the TriMet so late at night. Then he'd called dad to pick me up. I would get in trouble, but the punishments never held. I think he secretly liked the fact that I always chose him over Renee.
Dad had his limit though. After I pulled that stunt a second time, he and Renee had it out.
Jake was a year younger than me and as long as I could remember a foot taller. His skin was the same caramel as mine, and he had silky black locks to match. At fourteen years old, he'd told me I would be his wife, he'd run the restaurant while I cooked all the food. He said we'd have cute kids because we both had 'good hair'. I'd hated his silky black hair that he kept tied in a ponytail, I hated it even more recently since he decided he was black. He'd actually tried to have it corn rowed once. Despite his actual Native American heritage, he told me his russet skin was dark enough to pass, and if someone questioned his aforementioned silky locks, he'd just tell them he had Indian in his blood. I loved him dearly, but as the brother I'd never had, and nothing more. Jacob had to be coming in today; it was the only reason Dad would've chosen Black's.
With a lazy smile on his face that pronounced his slightly graying mustache he finally answered. "I have no ulterior motives Bella. So how are things with Emmett?"
"There are no 'things' with Emmett," I answered. "Were just friends; you should know that by now Dad."
"OK, okay, what about that Mike kid?"
"Mike and I were never dating Charlie," I responded, a little harsher than I meant. I never told him how that ended and had no intention of doing so.
"Could've fooled me, I thought you kids were dating."
I did too.
"Nope, just hanging out," I shrugged.
"I could've sworn when I'd asked if you were just frie…" he cut himself after he looked over and saw me grimace.
"There's no Mike, okay Charlie?" I took a deep breath and exhaled willing myself to calm down. After a few moments he spoke again.
"I hate when you call me that."
I hadn't realized in my haste to change the subject that I'd been calling him Charlie instead of Dad. I leaned over to give him a sideways hug and apologized.
"Sorry Daddy. Old habits, you know."
Not wanting to show any excessive emotion, he awkwardly patted my head as I cringed.
"Oops, forgot about the hair," he said.
I laughed loudly, "Yes Daddy, black hair kryptonite—hands and rain."
I didn't mind getting wet with Edward so much though.
We shared more laughs, and discussed my plans for the upcoming school year. All the while I tried to keep thoughts of Edward out of my mind.
I still had no idea what I was going to major in, but as always dad was supportive, telling me I had plenty of time to figure it out. Our food came shortly after, and I shouldn't have been shocked when Jacob brought it out, but his unnecessary closeness startled me. When he said 'food's up' centimeters from my ear, I knocked over a glass of water, sending its contents trickling down the opposite side of the table. I looked up and sneered.
He'd filled out well, and I couldn't deny that his body was banging. I could clearly see the definition of his abs through the fabric of his thin wife-beater. The angry wolf emblazoned on his shoulder added to his allure, but his face was still chubby and dimpled like a child's.
"Good to see you too, Klutzerella," Jacob said, as he pulled a towel from his apron to clean my mess. As always, his charm vanished whenever he opened his mouth.
"Jake, don't sneak up on me on like that," I shrieked.
"I didn't so much sneak up on you as I walked, carrying plates, and clanking silverware around. You just need to be more aware of your surroundings," he replied cockily.
Dad just sat there chuckling, enjoying my momentary distress as Jake took a seat across from us.
"So you slumming B? Those suckers at Nob Hill realize you're black yet?"
Dad visibly flinched but didn't speak up to defend me, and I understood why. He had me scoot out of the booth so he could go see Billy. I didn't know if the conversation was too much, or if it was a ploy to get us alone. I was livid either way.
"Do you always have to be a dick? You know Charlie still hasn't forgiven Renee for that, and my situation has nothing to do with theirs," I spat. I was furious, another reason Jake and I would never be. He brought out the worst in me and I despised him for it. He hadn't always been such an ass, but after the Mike Newton fiasco, he'd become somewhat cold to me. He was so quick to judge me and indifferent about my feelings; constantly reminding me of how foolish I'd been. He had the nerve to look sorry but I wasn't ready to give in.
The whole situation redirected my thoughts to Mike Newton; the first white guy I dated…well thought we'd been dating. It was during my freshman year at PSU and I was lost. There were so many buildings and I didn't know anyone who could direct me. My shyness stopped me from asking for help. Flustered, I'd sat down underneath a tree to fish out the campus map. That's was when I heard his voice.
"Do you need help La Noire De?"
I looked up to see a guy smiling down at me. His hair was dirty blond and cropped short. His skin was perfectly tanned, and his deep blue eyes had me incoherent. He wore basketball shorts and a jersey with the letters ΚΣemblazonedin big bold print. I'd given him the once over, and when he reached for my hand, I gladly let him take it.
"Kappa Sigma huh?" I stated, nodding toward his jersey. He smiled wider then and motioned to the frat house I had been sitting in front of.
"I didn't realize," I apologized and tried to run off, feeling like I was an intruder on Greek Row. Before I could go, he tightened his grip on my hand.
"Hold on a sec. My name's Mike. Let me help you find your way?"
I'd agreed, and soon after I was 'dating' Mike. Jake gave me a hard time about dating a white guy, saying I was just like my mother, which I was not. He even tried warning me; telling me that guy was only after the 'nappy dugout' and once he'd had his fill, he'd be gone. I'd ignored him, and told him he was just jealous because I was with someone who wasn't him. We didn't speak for months after that.
Looking back, I can see that Mike and I weren't dating at all. Not if dating meant you were ashamed of the person you were with. Once, he took me to the movies, but when people stared too long he dropped my hand and hurriedly ushered us inside. As the weeks passed, I was able to persuade him to go a few more places with me. But mostly we hung around the frat house or my dorm and just fooled around. This went on for two months and I didn't think too much of it until after we'd finally had sex.
I remember he'd asked 'Tu m'en veux alors Le Noire de?" I had no idea what the hell he was saying, just that it was sexy and I was down for whatever he wanted.
It wasn't until the next morning when I'd woken up alone and found a note that Mike had scribbled that I realized what I had been. The note thanked me for letting him cross something off his 'to-do list' and kindly told me to gather my things and get out. I wondered why he didn't just take me home and never call again, something a little less harsh than leaving me with that note. Apparently he'd wanted me to take that walk of shame, proof that he'd gotten me in bed.
I'd gotten dressed, sobbing the whole time, desperate to get out of his room and out of that house. With one shoe on, I'd made it down the stairs before I'd heard his voice echoing from the kitchen.
"Dude, I think she thought I loved her some shit. I mean seriously, how could she not have known? Now to cross threesome off my list," Mike said laughing.
"I wonder if she'll let me hit it. You gotta admit, she was hot Mike… for a black chick anyways," a second voice added.
I'd tried to leave undetected but someone saw me. He was a geeky kid, but I could tell he wasn't trying to hurt me. He'd put his hands to his lips signaling for me to be quiet, and led me through a back door. Near silent sobs racked my body as he walked me to my dorm room. He apologized profusely for Mike and everything I'd heard as if it were his fault. He'd even offered me a handkerchief, which I'd covered in my snot and hot, shameful tears. When I attempted to give it back to him, he protested and was adamant about me keeping it.
I calmed myself down, and asked him why he was part of that fraternity. He was too kind to be associated with the likes of Mike. He told me he was a legacy and it was expected of him, and that I shouldn't judge a book by its cover. I rolled my eyes at that—had I been more judgmental I would've never been in that predicament. After I'd gotten his name, Eric Yorkie, I thanked him and holed up in my room for a week, thoroughly humiliated.
Soon after, I moved out of the dorms, and promptly accepted Phil's offer to use the penthouse suite owned by the team. It was too much and I knew I would feel out of place, but I needed a place to lay my head and what better way to do it than on sheets made of Egyptian cotton and merino wool? Renee had coerced Phil into buying a house in one of Portland's affluent areas, lovingly dubbed Snob Hill, and the penthouse would be vacant for as long as he was employed by the team. The place was close to school, and I wouldn't have to make the long commute that living with dad guaranteed. Not having to live with Renee was just an added bonus.
I met Emmett the first day I moved in, and I was wary about talking to him. But he kept making jokes, even though I wouldn't respond. He tried any and everything to make me laugh, and I relented. We talked and laughed for hours and I told him the reason I was moving in, a fresh round of tears ensued.
The next week I contemplated skipping my Intro to Biology class just so I wouldn't have to run into Mike, as it was the only time our paths crossed. I put on my big girl panties, and walked to class hoping to avoid him and another breakdown. Unfortunately, I ran into Mike and his brand new black eye. It was so swollen that his right eye was sealed shut. I couldn't help myself, I laughed like a hyena. He cowered back as if he was afraid I'd hit him. My laughter didn't cease as I walked away.
I'd skipped class altogether and texted Emmett, telling him to meet me at Voodoo Donuts so I could tell him the good news. He showed up with bruised knuckles and a wide smile. We split a dirty snowball and we'd been happily joined at the hip since.
"B, shit, I'm sorry. You gotta stop giving me the silent treatment, boo," Jake said, snapping me into the present. I lamented, not ready to forgive him, but knew I couldn't stay mad forever.
"Just stop being so immature. I miss when you could go five minutes without insulting me." Because truthfully, I'd missed Jake; aside from Rosalie and Emmett, he knew me best. I wanted to break bread and get this come to Jesus session over with; we'd both been too stubborn for too long.
He got up and walked over and I scooted so he could sit next to me. "You know your dad set this up so we could kiss and make-up, right?" he asked.
I smiled. I didn't know he was aware of our drama. I just thought he was playing matchmaker again. "I knew he was up to something. Can we just be good already, Jake?" I said, laying my head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arm around me and squeezed.
"Sure, sure, were good."
Before I could say more, I felt my cell phone vibrating in my pocket. Simultaneously, Jake reached for his phone that was playing some God-awful Southern rap. I didn't mind rap, but I preferred the lyrics have more to offer than bitch or hoe repeatedly.
I rubbed my thumb over the screen, lighting up my phone so I could read the text, secretly wanting it to be from Edward
Hey Bellzee, drving frm seattle now. Plns 4 2nite? –Em
Yes, I had plans. I wanted to hang out with Edward, kiss him some more, play with his hair, stare into his eyes… That was too much to text; instead I sent him something short and sweet.
w/ dad /Jake. Will text you l8tr- B
"Who was that?" Jake asked peering over my shoulder
"Just Em. He wants to make plans for tonight." I avoided bringing up Edward. Jake and I had just made a truce and he wouldn't support any relationship with Edward. I nodded towards his phone and asked the same question.
"That was Laurent. He was just leaving the bookstore. He's guest DJ at Aura tonight and wants us to swing by, yaknowwhutimsayin', you down?"
I mentally face-palmed at his forced use of Ebonics. "Jacob how are you going to get in? Em and I have fake IDs, and the twins…well those girls are persuasive."
God, what about Edward?
"Don't worry, B; I'll see you there if you're coming, alright?" he asked, stressing the 'i' until it sounded more like aw-ight.
Cue eye roll.
We agreed and I sent Emmett a text with the details. I also added that if he couldn't get Edward in to count me out.
I made my way to the kitchen, greeting Billy, as my eyes searched the room for dad. When he didn't appear after a few minutes, I asked Billy if he knew where my dad was. If he thought he was getting off easy for all of his scheming he was dead wrong.
Billy pointed me toward the reception area where I found him, flirting, if you could call it that, with some hoodrat. Marching over there, I cleared my throat and gave that chickenhead the up and down. She didn't flinch under my gaze, just looked at me like she was amused by my antics. So I rolled my eyes at her, and made sure my neck rolled along with them. Then she laughed.
I know that bitch didn't.
Dad was obviously in another world, because he'd yet to move his eyes from the Amazonian woman. She was a giant. Well, compared to my five-foot-four inches she seemed like a giant. Charlie still towered over her, though. Her sleek hair was light brown with golden highlights—an obvious dye job as her black roots were prominent— yet the color did compliment her hazel eyes. It was probably a hair weave though. She spoke with a strong accent and although she seemed…decent, I didn't like her. I guess I'd always pictured Charlie with someone older, like Sue Clearwater, the diner's cook. I wasn't sure what type of power this chick had over Charlie, but I was putting it to an end.
"Charlie," I whined grabbing his hand like a kid mid-tantrum.
He snapped out of it as soon as I said his name, and I smirked at the now angry woman.
"Bella, you ready to head out?" he asked, still partially dazed. "Oh, where are my manners, Zafrina, my daughter Isabella," he added, pushing me forward like I truly was a three-year-old.
Negro, puhleez. What kind of ghetto name was Zafrina anyway?
I replied with something along the lines of 'nice to meet you,' and grabbed Charlie so I didn't have to witness any more of his old school mackin' attempts.
We said goodbye and made plans to meet up soon at a restaurant of my choice, and I hopped in my car to leave. When the keys were in the ignition, there was a knock on my window. I was alarmed and shot so far out of my seat that my head bumped the roof of the car. I turned to see Jake laughing at me.
Such an asshole.
"Like I told you B, you need to be more aware of your surroundings, especially in this hood," he said, as serious as I'd heard him be in a while.
"Like I said Jake: stop sneaking up on me. What did you want anyway?"
He seemed pensive, before a grave expression graced his boyish features. "Just wanted you to know that Tyler is back in town…for good, so we might see him tonight…"
Shit. Shit. Shit.
"No worries, Jake. That was high school," I said, trying to ease the anxiety dominating my nerves. I knew he didn't buy it, but he let it go, squeezing my shoulder before going back inside.
About one thing I was absolutely positive. There was no way I was going to Aura tonight.
***
When I arrived at home, I debated on whether or not I should call Edward. My fingers hovered over his speed dial entry for an infinitesimal amount of time before I gave in. Four full rings later, my call went to voicemail. After leaving a message, I hung up, leaving my phone on the kitchen counter. He had an automated voice message, and I wasn't able to hear his silken voice. It just made me all the more eager to see him.
With nothing to do and time to kill, I grabbed a flattened brown box from the living room and walked to my closet. After it was carelessly assembled, I began packing. I took stock of all of my things, and randomly started throwing shoes into the box. Though I would miss the penthouse, it was time for me to go. Phil's charity had sheltered me long enough.
My original plan was to move back into the dorms on campus. The prospect of seeing Mike didn't intimidate me anymore. If anything I was sort of grateful to him. If not for his asshattery and my naiveté, I never would've met Emmett or the Cullens. I probably wouldn't have met Edward, either. A year later the memories of his betrayal were still fresh, but I was confident that I'd put most of it behind me.
Now that Rosalie was back in the picture, we agreed to find an apartment together. When she first called and said she was coming back home, I was elated. She'd be transferring to Portland State in the fall and I'd have my girl back. Emmett had always been good to me, but I missed that bond you could only get from female companionship.
Tanya and I had fallen out during high school, so we were no more than passing acquaintances. Had we not worked together, I wasn't sure we'd speak at all. That wasn't completely accurate. Had she not been Rosalie's sister and looked so much like her that it made me long for my friend; I would avoid her all together. It wasn't everyday that you worked with the person who'd slept with your boyfriend behind your back.
I shook off those memories and assembled another box. If I was going to be out by the end of the next month, I absolutely had to get busy.
***
When I made it into the coffee shop, I was disappointed to see that Edward wasn't there. I pestered Emmett for awhile, questioning whether or not he'd remembered to call him. After he assured me that he had, I sat and looked out the window, waiting for him to appear.
As I people watched, a mess of Bronze hair caught my eye and I smiled. But the smile faded when I saw him being pulled back by Tanya. I vaguely registered Rosalie calling my name, and didn't turn to look her in the eye until she put a firm hand on my shoulder. She knew how I felt about Edward, and how much I loathed her sister. If she meant to keep me seated out of fear I would rearrange Tanya's face… well, it was a good move on her part.
I wanted to strangle Tanya Hale.
Images of Fight Club flooded my mind, and I wondered how her nasal bone would feel splintering beneath my fist. I sat and stared as she waltzed in; her trampy ass all up on Edward.
I am Bella's complete lack of surprise.
I only had two previous relationships and those hadn't played out well for me. Now that I found someone who made me want to try again...
I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream, but I could hardly breathe so anything that required oxygen was out of the question. Edward's presence was overpowering and I couldn't continue to ignore him. That mysterious part of me, that had intertwined itself with his very being, pushed me closer to him. So I turned to face him, took his hand, and blindly followed his lead.
My anger took on a life of its own as soon as we made it outside. I know he didn't owe me any explanations, but he had just kissed me, he had asked me on a date. Didn't that mean something to him? Hadn't we connected? I thought of Mike and how stupid I had been then, and wondered if I was bound to repeat my mistakes.
Then he kissed me, and I struggled to remember what I had been so upset about. I could scarcely remember my name. All of my desires resurfaced, and I pushed closer to him, taking everything he offered.
I never wanted to let him go, and knew what I had to do to keep him. With Mike we'd only go out when it was dark, somewhere isolated from the crowds. Those times were few and far between. If that was the protocol for this sort of relationship, I would do it for Edward. Quell my compulsion to touch him in public, not ask that he take me out, and try to be happy with whatever he was willing to give. I just prayed that it would be enough for me, and him as well.
***
"So what's the plan Bell-Z?" Emmett implored.
I sat at the square table with three pairs of eyes staring at me intently. Tanya was cowering behind Rosalie, doing her best to avoid making eye contact with me. For once she was being smart. I hadn't thought of what excuse I would use to avoid bringing up Aura, but a counter plan felt like the best idea.
"So?" he added.
"Em why are you so anxious?" I asked, wanting to divert his attention. Aside from that, he really was overly excited. I hadn't seen him this wound up since Voodoo introduced their bacon covered maple bars. He went on for days about it being a 'real man's donut,' and how he and the donut were meant to be. I stared at him, waiting for his reply, and he subtly gestured towards Rosalie.
Understanding that he wanted to spend time with her and I had just called him out, I backtracked, hoping I hadn't I embarrassed him.
"You must be keyed up from all the coffee you drink on those long drives."
"Exactly. What did Jacob have in mind?" Emmett smiled, and winked at me.
"Oh, he didn't have any definitive plans," I lied. "How about we just rent a movie and order pizza? I'm kind of tired, didn't sleep well last night." It didn't escape my notice that Edward stiffened when Jake's name was mentioned. His hand was resting on his knee, and I placed my palm over his before interlacing our fingers. I gave him what I hoped was a re-assuring smile as everyone agreed on our plans.
"Who's hosting this shindig?" Rosalie asked.
"Oh I can. I mean…if everyone's okay with that?" Edward offered. He looked as excited as Emmett. I wondered why, but ignored that when he gave me that smile. That jagged smile that easily siphoned every thought out of my mind.
We all stood, ready to head out when Tanya spoke up. "I guess I'll see you guys later," she stated.
I assumed she wasn't coming anyway, but her confirmation thrilled me.
"Uh…you're welcome to come to my place too Tanya. It could be fun."
Say what?
Now it was my turn to tense. I was pretty sure I made a Scooby-Dooish type sound before I coughed to mask it. I mean…seriously? How quickly I'd forgotten my place. Deciding it was best to just keep my mouth shut, I kept my eyes down, hiding my displeasure.
"It's okay. Thanks."
"Are you sure?" Edward probed.
I held my breath.
"Yes," she replied, and I silently echoed her assertion and my victory.
Go Bella, It's your birthday. Not for real, real but for play, play.
***
Walking into Edward's place for the second time felt different. The only way I could describe it was familiar; I kind of felt like it was where I belonged. Out of habit, I kicked my shoes off at the entrance as we followed Edward in. He motioned us over to the living room while he and Emmett veered left, discussing acceptable pizza toppings.
I took in my surroundings, noticing the flourishes added since Esme had left her mark. My eyes were promptly drawn to a large painting that hung over the couch. A man stood, facing away, on the edge of a rocky cliff. He wore a green jacket and had some sort of cane in his hand. What really stood out was the color of his hair. It was a distinctive mix of browns and reds with just a hint of blond teasing the crown; the same shade as Edward's. The man was alone, looking into thick fog clouds that stretched out indefinitely. I felt a twinge of anguish that this was the only hint of his personality. The man who stood alone. Glancing toward the kitchen, I could see Edward and Emmett smiling about something. Edward's head was thrown back, and the corners of his eyes were slightly crinkled. His shoulders shook with the force of his laughter, and he looked beautiful. I took a mental picture, promising myself to keep that look of happiness on his face.
Taking a few steps forward, I entered the room housing the piano. Whether it was cliché or not I didn't care; I wanted to be ravished on that shiny black slab of wood.
I continued on my self-guided tour, careful to keep to the common areas. His place was similar to mine—or, rather Phil's—but the additional square footage made mine seem like a matchbox. The floor plan differed as well, offering more floor to ceiling windows and more bedrooms I suspected. Although it was filled with furniture, it felt the same as when I'd waited for the piano to be delivered. Empty.
Rosalie was looking through the movie collection when I entered the living room. I eyed the two oversized couches situated in a U shape around the television, pondering where I should sit. Rosalie made her selection and popped the blu-ray into its player. After it was in, she lay on the couch and fully stretched out. Shrugging, I took the opposite couch and did the same until I'd made myself comfortable. We chatted a bit before she started interrogating me.
"You're hiding something. Spit it out," she demanded, in her no nonsense way. I shushed her, yet didn't bother denying that I was, in fact, keeping something to myself. If anyone understood my issue, she did. It affected her just as much.
"It seems as though you aren't the only one who's back in town. Jake invited us to Aura tonight, but he said that…that Tyler would be there."
My knee bounced with unease as I waited for her to say something. It felt like a year went by before she spoke again.
"Stop fidgeting woman, and calm the fuck down," she huffed, and I didn't get on her about cursing at me—which I did not tolerate—because I could tell she was jittery too. After a minute she exhaled loudly, and spoke in a softer tone.
"There are two hot guys out there waiting to spend time with us. Let's just…not think about it tonight."
"Alright Ro."
"Alright Bella. Bell-isha. Bell-nay-nay…"
"Please don't start this again," I said, barely containing my laughter at the nicknames she used to call me around my mom. She knew it made my mom cringe, but would do anything to take the unwanted attention off of me. I was glad to have Rosalie back in my life, and grateful for her humor. It always had a way of helping me unwind. Chances were I wouldn't run into Tyler, and he'd be back in Seattle screwing someone else over.
When Edward and Emmett entered the living room, they both looked at us with creased brows. Emmett shrugged and strolled over to Rosalie. He grabbed her ankles in one hand before letting her feet rest in his lap. Edward headed in my direction, and I inched up the couch, making room for him to sit. He looked apprehensive, then determined, telling me to sit up. I did, and he filled the spot where my head once rested. He mumbled something, and sat up, reaching for the remotes on top of the coffee table. When he sat back down, he patted the spot beside him.
I scooted close to him, leaving little space in between us. It didn't take long for the butterflies in my stomach to surface. After I reminded myself to breathe, I swallowed the lump in my throat, and pushed the nervousness away. If these were the moments I could have him exclusively, be close to him without him feeling ashamed as Mike had been with me, then I would make the most of it.
With the remotes, he turned off the lights and started the movie. After a few previews, Wanted started, and I was pretty sure that's when the HVAC system malfunctioned.
It is hot.
He draped his arm across the back of my shoulder and pulled me closer to him. In turn, I laid my head on his chest. All of my senses were heightened. The electricity that hummed between was as powerful as a live wire. I leaned in, nuzzling into his chest, smelling his unique aroma, and feeling his heart beat rhythmically beneath me. While I was lost in…him, he leaned over and whispered in my ear, his warm breath sending a shiver down my spine.
"You can lie back down."
If for no other reason than to stop the feeling of dizziness that suddenly overcame me, I conceded. I stretched out; arching my back, trying to relieve the tension before laying my head down in Edward's lap.
I never wanted to leave that spot.
I felt his hand ghosting over my curves before he made contact, splaying his palm softly over my back. He worked his hands up and down my back soothingly then progressed his way up to the nape of my neck.
"May I?" he asked, his voice was lower, huskier, sexier. I didn't know what he was asking to do but I knew my answer would undoubtedly be yes. The band holding my ponytail was released, and his hand tenderly combed through my tresses. I could feel him playing with individual strands and again, I tensed. I hoped my hair wasn't too kinky for him. He didn't stop, however, so I assumed he wasn't bothered by it, and I relaxed back into his touch. He resumed, gently massaging my scalp, causing my eyes to flutter closed. It felt so good I had to bite down on my tongue to suppress the moan that teetered on its tip. Once more I shivered. He paused and grabbed a throw blanket to cover me.
"Better? You were shaking."
"Uh huh," was all I could muster. My trembling had little to do with the temperature, and everything to do with the stunning creature beside me. He proceeded, massaging my scalp, occasionally muttering words I couldn't decipher begin to decipher. Meanwhile, I discreetly brushed my legs against each other in a futile attempt to alleviate the delicious ache he'd incited between my thighs.
Edward and I were laying in bed, staring into each other's eyes. He searched my face as he absentmindedly played with my locks. He looked puzzled before a serpentine smile lit up his appearance, brightening all of his features. If at all possible, he looked even more gorgeous than he already was. He leaned forward, placing kisses on my forehead, my cheek, and then recited my name as if it were poetry.
Bella, Bella, Bella.
I moaned, loving the feel of his puckered lips dancing across my skin. Removing his hands from my hair, he placed a delicate kiss on my mouth that warmed me down to my toes. His lyrics persevered.
Bella, Bella, Bella.
I moaned again.
"Bella?"
My eyes fluttered open, meeting Edward's sage depths, and I gave him a lazy smile. That smile turned into a frown when I realized I'd dozed off. I sat up, immediately feeling lightheaded due to my sudden movement, and used the back of my hand to wipe my mouth. I prayed to whoever was listening that he wouldn't find a wet spot on his knee from my drooling. When I turned around, he was standing behind the couch with his eyes clenched shut. He must have had super human speed because I had only looked away for a minute.
"Is everything okay?" I squeaked, watching as his eyes shot open in what looked like terror.
He coughed before speaking. "Yeah, sorry, the movie ended a while ago and Emmett took Rosalie home. You looked so…tired, and I didn't want to wake you," he explained.
"What time is it?"
"Just after midnight. Would you like me to walk you home now?"
I'd never been as thankful for the melanin coloring my skin as I was in that instant. Had I been paler, my cheeks would've surely been scarlet. What if I snored? Or did something equally embarrassing; I would never be able to look him in the eye again.
My mortification didn't have a chance to marinate once I took in his words. He was ready for me to go…'now?' I held back any feelings of rejection and consented. I was happy with the time he'd given me and wouldn't press my luck.
"You don't need to walk me out. Thanks for having me over, I'll see you later," I said in one breath. I walked towards the door and gave him a hug. He reciprocated by giving me a 'christian' hug, where you lean in with your torso but push your ass out to keep your morals intact.
Awkward.
With one last wave I hopped on the elevator and a minute later closed my own door behind me.
After finishing my nightly ritual, I threw on an oversized PSU tee. It was bought for my Dad, but I'd done a better job of packing than I thought and couldn't find my comfy pajamas. After tossing and turning for a while, I rolled on to my back, staring at the ceiling. I couldn't help but think of Edward and wonder what he was doing right at that second. My answer came in the form of a vibrating cell phone.
I won't lie; I flew off the bed, nearly face-planting in my haste to answer. A swift glance at the caller ID told me everything I wanted to know.
He was thinking of me.
I cleared my throat, ready to put on the sexiest voice I could muster.
"Hello?"
"Uh…it's Edward. Iwanted to make sure you made it in okay."
"I did, thank you for being a gentleman and checking up on me," I smiled. My response was met with complete silence.
Okay…
"So," I said, drawing out the word to fill the sudden stillness. "I guess I'll let you go to bed now. Thanks again…"
"No, don't go," he interrupted.
That same desperate longing I would occasionally see in his eyes was evident in his voice, and I couldn't come up with a plausible explanation for it. I didn't know what had happened in the last second, or hour, to cause the abrupt change.
"What's wrong?" It was a simple enough question that I anticipated he would avoid. I'd noticed Edward had a way of diverting attention away from himself. Though he didn't know a whole hell of a lot about me, I knew even less about him. There were some basics, but nothing that could explain his current state.
"Edward?"
More silence.
I checked the line to make sure I hadn't lost the call, and sure enough the timer on my cell phone was still counting the seconds. The same urge to help or comfort him grew within me as I listened closely to his breathing. It was definitely inconsistent, and before I could speak again I heard it. It wasn't clear, but he owned all of my senses, making every movement he made, and breath he took that much more overt. I waited, mentally listening for it again, yet my limbs already had me out of the bed and looking for my keys. I gasped when I heard it again.
A muffled cry.
It was probably stupid of me to do, but I found myself standing in front of Edward's door at two in the morning, cell phone clutched tightly in my hand, sweating like a whore in church. I wasn't sure what possessed me to go to his place, and didn't know if I'd be welcomed, but I couldn't turn away.
I put the phone to my ear one last time, hoping to illicit some sort of response from him.
"Please say something. Anything," I begged, waiting for him to speak. There were only a few more moments of silence before he gave in.
"I need you."
His voice was soft, slightly breaking at the end of his plea. I pressed my forehead against his door with my free hand poised to knock. The pull was stronger than ever, making it difficult for me to talk myself into going back downstairs. Taking a deep breath, I knocked resolutely.
"Edward, I'm here," I whispered into the receiver. Finally using his name and internally solidifying his worth.
I just hoped I would be enough.
A/N
Next chapter we're back to EPOV. As always, you can find cast photos for all of the characters introduced in this chapter along with the paintings mentioned on my LiveJournal account. I will also tweet them if you follow me on twitter. If you don't, there is a link on my profile.
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