Disclaimer: Twilight and it`s characters belong to S.M.

Please review guys! I`m a bit self conscious about this chapter and would love some feedback.

2 Months Later

The first two weeks were spent apartment hunting, which turn out to be pretty fast thanks to one Esme Cullen, she did had to stay in a motel for a week but that was nothing compare to the alternative, so the first week was spent checking out a very long list of apartments that Esme sent her.

She had to admit that Esme did a wonderful selection, because they were all nice, not as affordable as she would had like but they all included furnitures. That vamp was really one step ahead all the time. Tricky vampires.

The first month was really exciting for her, she totally took advantage of not having parental supervision anymore, she actually came home around midnight from work but she mostly slept all morning for two weeks, after that she realized that she was just wasting time and decided to start planning to visit a few colleges in the mornings.

She had been working at Harry's bar for 6 weeks now, she was lucky to have gotten the job because the last bartender just quit a week before she came looking for one.

There were just two other girls there, Carla and Annie, Carla was a tall redhead, kind of a bitch at first but a funny one, after a few witty comebacks from Leah`s part she totally won her over, she learn later that she was a single mom to a boy named Jamie. Annie was a sweetheart, tiny girl with olive skin and big brown eyes, she dropped out of college after her parents die and lived with her grandma and little brother and was also working in a shoes store during the mornings.

Then there was Louis, the Oklahoma boy, a really cute 25 year old who did the cooking and finally Harry, the owner of the bar, honestly after meeting him she was convinced that she was in the right place, not only was he named after her father but also the guy was one big teddy bear.

Today was a difficult day, it was Halloween and Harry may have warm up to her but still was a demanding boss and there were a bunch of psichos running around in costumes. It was difficult when you had a bunch of teenagers trying to get alcohol and making a fuzz too. Carla didn`t came because her boy was sick and Annie came late because she went trick `r treating with her little brother.

Needless to say, they were very busy. On top of all she had to stand Carla`s usual drunk clients who try to groped her. It got to the point where she had to slap one, not using all of her strength of course but just enough (well, a little bit more than enough). She thought she was fired after that, it was after all a regular but thank the lord, Harry only laugh and told the guys to "watch out for this one!"

So when she got home that night she was more than annoyed, she couldn`t believe that this was the way she was spending Halloween, one of her favorite holidays when she was a kid. It didn`t really matter, after becoming a monster herself she lost whatever adoration she had for the day but it still make her miss her parents and Seth.

She sat on the couch for a few minutes holding a mug with coffe and just stared at nothing.

Impulsively she grabbed her laptop, haldled it for a bit and then started to write.

October 31st, 2007.

I don`t know why on earth I`m writing this but I am.

You said to write if anything right? Because for some strange reason you insist to be in my presence.

I have to confess something first.

I was always just playing along. I didn`t want to be your friend. Not even with what we already said to one another. I wasn`t interested you know. I guess that`s a lie, I was curious.

It`s not because of what we are. Well.. yeah, there`s always that, but I have actually came to pass that. Yeah, I know. Shocker.

It`s just… I don`t opened up anymore. To anyone really, not even Jacob or Seth. I love them but they are still kids in so many ways.

Sometimes I used to look at Jake and think that we were all playing at being adults. But that`s why I left, I wanted to grow up.

And I don`t want to be so angry anymore.

It`s was difficult to be there you know, seeing you all so happy, it`s like everyone got their happy ending except for me. Yes, I`m selfish.. but I`ve protected them too, your family and my home! why can I have something? Don`t I deserved it?

I guess I still have just a tiny bit of resentment.

I wasn´t always like this you know, people used to think I was actually nice.

I like it here. Today not so much. Happy "us" day btw.

Haven't you ever felt surrounded by people but completely alone at the same time? It was like that for me back home.

God I can`t believe I`m saying this.. but, I want a friend now.. so this it me, being your friend.

I won`t apologize for pretending. I don`t think I did anything wrong. I wasn`t ready to let anyone in I guess.

Leah

Pd: I do have one condition. Don`t answer this, I`m actually pretending that I didn`t sent it. Yeah I`m weird that way. If you do, I won`t write back.

December 26th, 2007.

My dear Vamp

I wanted to let you know that I`m drunk, well buzz more like it, I can`t actually get drunk. I did try though… It sucks being a freak! Buuuuuuuuut it would probably suck more not even being able to get to this point right? So, my deepest condolences my dearest leechiest friend.

Sooo, emo boy, did you get me a present for Christmas? I did! But I can`t tell you what it is so don`t ask!

Ok, I`ll tell you! Shut up already.. it`s a stake! Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh… don`t tell anyone! I`m whispering now. Just so you now.

I am so going to regret this in the morning.

…

I missed dad.. would you please take care of my family while I`m not there?

Lee

December 27th, 2007.

Jasper

Sorry about last night. I`m really embarrassed. I did something stupid, I went to this party and to be honest beer alone doesn`t really do anything to me but I took something else, I didn`t know what it was. It wasn`t on purpose you know, someone must of put it in my drink. Still, I should have know better. Thank god I wasn`t that far gone. So let`s just say that it was a stupid mistake and leave it at that. It didn`t last that long anyway. Major headache though.

Don`t answer please. Still not ready.

Leah

March 16th, 2008.

Hi. I thought I was done writing you. Honestly after last time… well, you understand.

But… I`m believing you. You said you`ll be there. Or something.

You know, I`ve been thinking , about time. It`s it been that long since I left? Not really, almost 8 months.. but it feels like more. How does time run for you?

You die in the civil war. I`ve been thinking about you actually, well, vampires really. And inmortality, you said it was a curse and a gift right?

I`m find myself pitying you. Sorry, it sounds patronizing I know, but I mean it.

But then I remember what you told me about mates, that you need someone or you`ll probably want to die eventually. But still, live forever? My god, it scares me.

I don`t get it. To live forever. I don`t want to do that. What I`m I gonna do with forever? I don`t even know what to do with myself on a Sunday afternoon.

There is a quote that says "Immortality - a fate worse than death".

I don`t remember who said that. What do you supposed he was thinking just before he die? Probably "Fuck that!"

I guess I have a fear of dying too. Like anyone, but I still want to see them again sometime. You know… them..

Do you remember your parents? Do you miss them?

Ugh, it`s like I found my inner emo girl. Pathetic.

Dad die two years ago today. I guess that answers it.

I can`t believe it`s been two years. I want to see him you know, not now. But I`m scared. And guilty. Because I realized that I like being able to heal everything, after all, we, as in you and me, are not too different. I`m an immortal after all, as long as I keep phasing. And I feel guilty that I`m not ready to give it up.

Does that make me a bad person? Ha! I`m already horrible.

Anyway, our deal is still on. Don`t answer.

Leah

May 15th, 2008.

Hey! Wow, that sounded almost too perky for me…

I`ve realized that I`ve been a bit of a drama queen. I do appreciate you listening (or reading, whatever) when I need it but I`ve been reading my last letters and it just depressed me a whole lot!

So! Today... I`m invoking your wife!

What I mean to say is, that this will be a nice, normal and happy letter (I don`t know why I can`t bring myself to said email, it sounds cooler if I said letter I guess).

Anyway... No more brooding.

I was totally stealing your thunder.

Mom has been calling.. a lot! I guess she misses me. Ha!

Bet you didn`t think that was possible? Well, suck on that!

She does want me to go back you know. I do miss home, but I like it here.

She keeps saying that I have to decide what I`m going to study and whatnot. The thing is, I`ve already decided, I`ve even sent my applications to the places I`m interested a while back. I haven't told her. I want to see what comes back first.

I took April off, actually… Harry (that`s my boss) said it was ok, business was slow and that work will be waiting.

We went on a road trip, I was already planning on going and Louis (he`s a friend) decided to tag along.

It was great, we went to Louisiana, Mississippi, Arkansas and Tennessee. Can you believe that? I went to Nashville! I`m dying to learn to play a guitar now.

If we could we would have done so much more… Money was tigh so we enjoy what we could.

It was a rush, kind of like running on wolf.

I talked to the boys trough the pack mentality by the way, I don`t know If Jake told you guys, I asked him to thanked Esme for everything, let`s hope the all mighty alpha remembers.

Now I`m back to work, being all normal, even dating a bit… and I`m happy.

That`s it I guess..

There is one more thing.

Thank you Jasper, I would have never believed a year ago that we`ll be here. It helped me you know. To think that there was someone at home waiting for these letters to know about me. It doesn`t matter if you read them or not.

Leah

June 4th, 2008.

Hey. I`ve received an interesting call from my mom today.

You know what I`m talking about. This time I wouldn`t mind to have a heads up.

I guess I`m going home.

AN: So, this chapter you can see Leah growing up a bit. For me, it was important for her to experience new things, to see more for herself and to loose some of the bitterness. Also I thought it was important to have some level of communication between Jazz and Leah. Even if it is one-sided.