But if I fall for you, I'll never recover

If I fall for you, I'll never be the same

I really wanna love somebody

I really wanna dance the night away

I know we're only half way there

But you can take me all the way, you can take me all the way

I really wanna touch somebody

I'll think about you every single day

I know we're only half way there

But you can take me all the way, you can take me all the way

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

I don't know where to start, I'm just a little lost

I wanna feel like we never gonna ever stop – Maroon 5

Sookie POV

That conversation I had with Eric was a difficult one, no question about it. I found that it was more difficult than talking through my own past and issues. I've been dealing with, or not dealing with as I learned, my pain for years. My pain is what I could handle; it was second nature to me. I wore it like my skin. But seeing and hearing Eric's pain, the pain of someone that I love very much well as he explained an event that had broken a piece of him, that damn near broke my heart.

But it was seeing him after he spoke with Karin on the phone that actually broke my heart. I know I've always seen a different side of him than how he has to behave when dealing from vampire politics, but he still always seem to be so strong. Even when he was telling me what happened with Karin, he muscled his way through it, working hard to keep his emotion in.

And now I have a better understanding of why. It was another one of his bastard of a maker's lessons, and I am going to be sure to break him of it.

After he spoke with Karin though, he looked like a lost, little boy. I could understand why. Hearing and realizing something you believe is true is anything but, turns your world upside down. For nearly two decades, I had thought that I had dealt with and was over what had happened to me only to find out that I had not and I was not. Eric had much more time than a few decades of believing the bullshit his maker had him believing and I knew that in the Supe world Eric would have dealt with much more than I had. I'm not entirely sure what he talked about with Karin, as he didn't feel much like talking the rest of the evening, but I was happy that he did. Doing so will help him start healing from this horrible event. And as I am sure this is one of the worst events to Eric, as it was about his hurt child, I am hoping it will lead to other healing as well. So Eric didn't talk too much after speaking with Karin; he really just wanted to hold me instead, which I was more than happy with.

Even if it meant that I had to hear Pam grumbling about cleaning the kitchen. Well, she did start it. But it's a good thing she did. It was something we all needed at the time. Besides, Thalia helped her clean the kitchen. With vampire speed it was dine in minutes. Meanwhile, I'm still not sure if I'd managed to get all the ketchup, flour, and egg out of my hair.

I called Ludwig during the day to talk about what happened. I didn't go into too much detail, not wanting to betray Eric's confidence, but I wanted to make sure I stayed strong enough to be able to help him. Everyone keeps telling me that I have come a long way and I see it, but as we are approaching mid-February, it's still only been a few months, a few long, damn months. Seeing Eric in so much pain shook me and I wanted to make sure I am able to help him through this.

When I woke up the afternoon after Eric explained what happened, I took note of the two vampires still in the bed. Pam had wanted to rest with Eric again after everything. I know that this time it was more for his comfort than it was for hers. After kissing the head of both vampires still in the bed, I made it up the stairs and called the tiny doctor. I would have much rather discussed this with Pam, but didn't want to bring more pain to her. I just wanted to make sure I had control over my pain so I wouldn't fall apart at Eric's. And talking to her did help, however blunt she happens to be.

She did help me realize that feeling hurt at Eric's pain did not mean that I would start a downhill cycle. My natural response of hurting because someone I loved was hurting does not have to mean I will retreat to that spot in my head. Instead, she called it progress. In hearing Eric's story, I never once thought of my own pain. My focus was all about him. According to the small doctor, that was a good thing.

And the few days since I had talked to her proved that.

Octavia and Amelia had come back last night from New Orleans. They went straight to Fangtasia to check on the wards. Nothing felt off to Octavia and she said the magic holding them was still strong. So we didn't exactly understand why the still unknown vampire set off the alarms. Octavia's best guess is that the magic of the wards possibly picked up on the magic of the maker's command. The intention of the command was one to hurt. If her magic can pick that up, it's not exactly something that we would be complaining about.

Eric has a few more things he hoped the witches can help with, but he told them to simply rest tonight. After working for the Queen, traveling down to Shreveport, and using magic, they could have used the rest, Octavia especially. And she probably chose to rest. I am not thinking about where Pam may have gone with a glint in her eye a half hour after getting a call from Amelia. I am also not going to think about what it meant when Eric couldn't get a hold of Tray for two hours after that.

Nope, my mind is not going there.

So tonight we are heading back to Fangtasia for the first time since Eric's lookalike child showed up. We hadn't gone with Octavia and Amelia the night before but Thalia and Felicia had. He hasn't wanted to go back there since. He hasn't wanted to do much of anything since. He was talking to me and to Pam though, which was good. He also has been speaking to Karin, which is fantastic. It's something that they both could use after what they have been through. I know from Pam that Karin is eager to see Eric and hopefully that is something that can happen soon.

The car ride over to Fangtasia is anything but a quiet one and that is exactly what we need. Sure, we are pretty much just talking nonsense and laughing at our nonsensical selves but after the last few days, it just feels good. That is until Eric recognizes Cataliades' car in the Fangtasia parking lot. That got our car a bit quiet and I see Eric look at me through the rearview mirror. I let Pam have the front seat. Ok, more like she nearly knocked me down using her vamp speed beating me to the front seat. Eric caught me before I fell though and was sure to give me a thorough apology in place of his child.

I have nothing against the demon lawyer. He actually seems kind of nice and Eric seems to trust him well, as much as Eric trusts anyone anyway. I'm just afraid that he's going to bring bad news.

I give Eric a half smile and a shrug and start to get out of the car, but he's at my door before I can get it open all the way. Felicia comes out and lets us know the lawyer has been here since the sun set waiting for us, just sitting in his car.

There goes my wish for a quiet evening.

Eric sends me inside with Felicia and Pam while he heads towards Cataliades' car. I know even with the crazy security Eric put in place after the shooting, he still doesn't like us to linger outside. I feel the same way, which is why I am happy when I'm not even in his office for a minute before he comes in with Cataliades following behind. The lawyer takes a seat and is the only one of the three of us that looks calm in the room.

"Nice to see you again, Mr. Cataliades," I say. It might be a borderline lie, but Gran would have my hide if I were anything but polite. He, after all, has done nothing to me.

And hopefully it would stay that way.

"I wish you truly meant that Miss Stackhouse," he says back to me, seemingly reading my mind. "And please, feel free to call me Desmond."

I nod not knowing if I'll be able to do that. As my grandfather's friend, in another world I may have grown up with him in my life and feel more comfortable calling him that. But that is not the world I grew up in. We will have to wait to see how it goes.

When he doesn't say anything else right away, Eric asks him if he is here on behalf of the Queen or Niall. "Would you believe it if I said both," he responds with a bit of a grimace on his face.

That can't be good.

"What does Sophie-Anne want," Eric asks, though I already have a good idea and I'm sure Eric does too. My thoughts prove to be correct when Cataliades explains that Sophie-Anne would like to use my telepathy on the humans that worked for Threadgill. She wants to know who she can trust and to see if I can learn anything about who may really be in charge. Glamour apparently hasn't been working but questioning humans under glamour can be tricky. They could simply be not asking the right questions. "Is there a reason why she is asking through you? She has not before," Eric says.

"A sign of good faith after what you have done for her. She doesn't want it to necessarily be seen as a command."

"But she will make it one if we refuse," Eric says. The lawyer's silence says it all. "I will call her with a response before sun rise." As Cataliades nods Eric asks about what Niall wants.

"He agrees to meet you, both of you tomorrow night."

I feel a little jolt of anger at that and I'm really not sure where it came from. I don't have time to think about that though as Eric asks, "Tomorrow night?" He is obviously not happy about it but for the life of me, I can't figure out why. It doesn't really sound like he is opposed to meeting Niall but the actual day of the proposed meeting.

"It's okay if you don't want to come, Eric," I tell him, trying to make my voice sound like it's really okay. I don't think I succeed though as he is quickly at my side and says, "I will be wherever you need me to be. You want me there and I will be there." I press a kiss to his lips for his words.

"I don't suppose we could reschedule," I say, still not liking that Eric is upset about meeting him tomorrow night.

"It would not be recommended," Cataliades says. I ignore the threat that implies. I know it isn't coming from him and I would like to think my great grandfather wouldn't threaten me as well, but I have learned that Supes do things very differently.

I look to Eric who gives me a slight nod before telling the lawyer that I will meet Niall tomorrow night. He names a restaurant that I don't recognize but Eric nods so he must know it. Cataliades says goodnight and leaves Eric's office. My vampire doesn't escort the lawyer out this time and I am not sure how to take that.

I do however, get pulled down into said vampire's lap as soon as the door is closed and we are alone in his office. I sink into his chest for minute just enjoying being held. "You know, you really don't have to come tomorrow," I start before he cuts me off with a finger on my mouth.

"I will be there with you," he says and his voice lets me know there is no room for questioning. As much as I was willing to let him off the hook if he wanted it, I am glad he's still willing to come with me. "We do need to talk about the Queen," he says.

"I didn't think there was much to talk about. Do we really have a choice?"

"We have a choice," he tells me. "Just not a good one if we want to keep the peace." Yeah, that's kind of what I expected.

"I don't mind, Eric. I wish I didn't have to but if it helps to keep us safe, I'll do it."

"I hate that you have to do this."

I do too. Definitely wasn't a perk, that's for sure. But I meant what I said. Helping Sophie-Anne could help keep Louisiana safe, which would help keep those I love safe. I may not like it, but for their protection, I will do it.

Eric presses a kiss to my temple before assuring me he will make sure we don't have to spend the night in New Orleans. With so much still unknown, it's important we are safe.

"I have some work I need to do before I head out to the bar tonight," he says. I'm sure after being at home the last few nights, he does have plenty to catch up on. "Would you like to stay and keep me company," he asks, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Oh no," I tell him with a smile on my face, starting to get off his lap. "If I stay in here then you will be getting no work done."

"And the issue with that is," he asks with a smirk, lifting up one eyebrow.

"The issue is, then we won't get home early enough to really have some fun where tons of vampires can't hear us," I say softly before giving his neck a kiss and starting to walk out of his office.

"That is just cruel," he says as I give him a bit of a wiggle on my way out, laughing as I shut the door.

I make it out to the bar not surprised to find it crowded, even though it is still relatively early for a vampire bar. Eric being back after being away usually attracts them because everyone wants to be the one to see him again first. I take a seat at the bar in a spot that's out of the way so hopefully I won't have to deal with too many of his admirers. Dealing with their thoughts is hard enough.

A drink is suddenly in front of me and I look up to see Thalia smiling. Usually, I would say that Thalia smiling is a good thing, a great thing even. But when it accompanies her sliding me a drink, it's probably not too good for me.

At the look I give her she shrugs and says, "What else are you going to do?"

And at that moment, a particularly vivid though, or I should say someone else's vivid thought comes across my mind that has me reaching for the drink and downing it in one shot. Thalia must have taken that as a sign because she keeps the drinks coming after that.

Eric POV

I can feel the smile on my face as I hang up the phone. I like that talking with Karin now brings a smile to my face rather than the rush of guilt simply thinking of her used to bring. I, like most other parents I would imagine, think she deserves more. She did not deserve to be in that situation in the first place.

But I am coming to learn that neither did I.

I had been focusing on the wrong lesson, the wrong things all along. I had managed to teach my children the right lessons, never once applying them to myself, never seeing myself worthy of them. Pam had never made me feel unworthy but she is my child and to an extent I felt she could not be trusted in that fact because she has always been a loyal child. But enter an adorable little part-fairy in my life and everything has been upside since, in all the best ways.

It took Sookie to make me understand what Pam had been trying to get me to see all along. Sookie owed me nothing so having her support what Pam has been saying practically since I made her vampire, was a real eye-opener.

And it is just one more thing I am thankful she has done for me.

I let out a sigh of relief when I am finally done with all the paperwork. It was more than usual, missing the last few nights but I was glad for the time off. It is not exactly easy finally realizing that something you thought for centuries is not true. Even though finally understanding what truly happened is a very good thing, I got sent into a tailspin of sorts. I have been going through all of my other memories, especially those dealing with Appius to see what else have I missed. When else had I fully believed his worlds, giving him the benefit of the doubt?

Because I am starting to believe he doesn't deserve it anymore, that despite being my maker he never actually deserved it.

But I have had enough of those thoughts. I have spent the last few nights with those thoughts making Sookie, Pam, and even Thalia stuck with those thoughts for the last few nights as well. We deserve a night off.

So I make my way out to the bar to do my mandatory face showing, hoping to get out of here relatively quickly, especially with Sookie's words to me earlier. But my plans are waylaid when I get out to the bar area. The sight I see stops me in my tracks. It brings a smile to my face. Sookie is bouncing around the bar with the beat of the music, looking as happy as ever. So I take a seat on my throne that Pam insists on keeping and simply watch her. It soon becomes clear by her movements that Thalia has had her taste testing again tonight.

That could be why it takes her a little longer than it usually would to notice that I am out here. Usually, she glances my way right away, as if she could somehow feel me and perhaps she could with her telepathy. With our bond not yet complete, she culd not be feeling me through that. Tonight though it takes her a few minutes and I am not complaining about that as it allows me to just take her all in. And that is exactly what I need right now after the last few nights.

My smile gets bigger though when she does notice me in the room, because her smile gets bigger. Her entire face lights up and I am again amazed that I can bring out that much excitement in anyone, let alone in someone as wonderful as Sookie. But I have finally decided that I am not going to question it any longer. No, instead I will simply enjoy it.

My arm wraps around her waist as she comes over and wraps her arms around my neck. She places a kiss to my cheek, but my arm tightens around her waist as she tries to pull away, not letting her. I nuzzle her hair before placing a few soft kisses along her neck. "Having fun," I ask her.

I can feel her nod against me as she says, "Yes. But I would have even more if someone would dance with me."

And with that, my smile falters. I know both Sookie and I are happy that here, barring any unfortunate circumstances, we can simply be ourselves. Most of the time, I am the high man on the totem pole so there is no reason to put on an act. But for the vampires under me to see me dancing, the possible repercussions of that is not something I want to deal with on top of everything else.

"And there is nothing more than I would rather do right now than dance with you. You do not know how sorry that I am that my station does not allow that," I tell her softly. She looks like she is about to argue but does not say a word, though I am sure she has plenty to say. "You should continue to dance though," I tell her not wanting to ruin her night. I tell her that there are plenty of vampires here that would dance with her.

"They'll get handsy," she says nipping at my ear. I am not sure if the growl that leaves me appears because of the nip or the idea of another's hands on her.

"We definitely cannot have that," I tell her. Though I doubt anyone here would touch her knowing that she is mine, I do not want to make her uncomfortable. "Pam can dance with you."

"She'll be the most handsy of them all."

"Yes but she knows where not to put her hands," I say rubbing her through her pants, showing her that I know just where to put my hands.

"Hmm," she hums. "Or I could just stay here."

"No," I tell her releasing her from my grip. "You go have fun dancing. We will have fun later," I say. Though I would have no problem taking her back to my office for said fun, I know that she would not appreciate it after the alcohol wears off. With one last kiss to my lips, she leaves to join Pam out on the dance floor.

A few minutes after she leaves, Thalia comes over to me and I ask her how many drinks Sookie has had. "Six," she answers, which gets a glare from me. Six drinks in an hour is a bit much. "Only two of them had alcohol," she says with a bit of a smirk.

"Smart girl," I say to her and I get a little bow of her head.

We are silent for a few minutes but the fact that Thalia does not leave tells me she has something to say. "She would be having more fun out there if you were dancing with her," she finally says.

I watch Sookie and Pam dance. Pam is sure to keep anyone away without Sookie realizing allowing her to simply dance. "I know," I tell her. "I wish I could be out there with her.

"And why can't you?"

I start to explain to Thalia my worries and there are plenty. I cannot have vampires under me thinking that I have gone soft and trying to take advantage of the situation.

Thalia gets a disgusted look on her face. "What," I ask her.

"You don't seem like the type of vampire to let others dictate your life, to let fear dictate your life."

My immediate reaction is to launch into her about how fear has no role in my decision-making about this. But something in the back of my mind tells me that is not true. It is not easy for me to admit, but maybe I am letting fear factor in, and not just fear for her safety.

Appius has shown me in the past that my happiness means something bad is around the corner. Pam and Sookie have been the only exceptions. With Pam, my guilt from Karin was probably enough to hold him off for now. With Sookie, was I holding myself back from allowing myself to be one hundred percent happy with her because of fear? That is not good for me and that is not good for her.

But there is also something else.

"I will not be the same," I tell Thalia. "When," and I word it like that because I know the day is coming. "When I fall for her, life will not be the same. I will not be the same." It could not be. I was already so different because of her that when I do fall for her, I know I would change even more.

"You say that like it's a bad thing."

"It very well could be," I say thinking of everything that could go wrong. But for the first time in a long time, I think this is something that is worth the risk. I find myself wanting to fall for this little being that tore into my life like a tornado. And though I easily could say I want this, I want to be able to love Sookie, just to prove Appius wrong, that is not what is driving me. I want it for me. I want it for Sookie.

For the first time since I have become a vampire, I think it may just be possible.

Thalia nods before saying, "I have seen the bad that can come with it. But even if it would cancel out the bad, I would not give up the good that I had. I would not give up the happiness I had, the happiness we had together." She pauses before continuing, "You said when you fall for her. What if you already have? By denying your happiness, by denying her happiness, the only ones hurting are the two of you. And I don't understand what the point of that is," she says before starting to walk back to the bar.

I am not sure either.

Sookie POV

Though my dancing partner isn't my preferred one, I'm not going to complain too much. Tonight was exactly what was needed – a little decompression time for everyone. I know that though Eric wanted to take some time to go through what he had finally realized, he needed some time away from his thoughts. There would be plenty of time for him to come to terms with what he had discovered. I would make sure there was time for that. And for me dancing is always a plus. I think we could have done without the visit from Cataliades, but I couldn't hold that against the demon and it was not like anything he said was exactly unexpected.

Unfortunately, it was exactly what we had expected.

So, Pam though not exactly an unwelcomed dance partner but I would rather it be Eric. I would love to see him loosen up a bit and have some fun. He could definitely use it too. I know he has an image to uphold but these vampires respect him. He earned their respect and should be able to reap the benefits of that. Having a dance or two with a girlfriend, or however he would classify us, should be doable.

Much larger hands suddenly replace Pam's hands, which had been on my hips. I am surprised anyone got through Pam's defenses. Not many people can say that they have. I grab the hand and am about to push them harshly away, something I have become an expert with from pushing Pam's hands away, when I recognize the way they grasp onto my hands. I also recognize the hair that falls into my eyes as the owner of the new hands leans over me and whispers into my ear, "I am sorry you had to wait for me."

I do a little internal happy dance as I turn around as Eric's arms move around me and keep me moving to the music. "I'm just happy you're here now," I tell him moving forward and closing the gap between us. And I am. It feels like something has shifted between us in very good way. Over the past few days, Eric has really opened up and let me in. It's not like he was hiding anything before, but volunteering information, knowing that he trusts me that much, is something that has been really good for me. And of course, the biggest benefit is that it has been awesome for him as well.

So, I am feeling a great thing. I press a kiss to my vampire's lips, I tell him that I love him, and continue to dance the night away with my vampire.

Hello dear readers. I hope that you have enjoyed this chapter as we get a little bit more of what's going on inside of Eric and Sookie's heads. Plus advice from Thalia is always good and Eric having some more little breakthroughs is great. Thanks for taking the time to read. I appreciate all those taking the time to review as well.

And maybe the last episode of TB won't be a complete disappointment. One can hope!