Disclaimer: I still don't own Prince of Tennis. And that's not ever going to change…no matter how badly I want it to.
Title: "So Long" – Oshitari's point of view
Story: Multi Chapter
Chapter 7: "Falling"
Author: sweetxsorrow27
Rating: M
Summary/FYI: What Atobe wants Atobe gets. But what will happen to Oshitari after this whole mess? [AN: Don't kill me for writing this! I couldn't help myself!]
Pairing: forced Oshitari Yuushi X Atobe Keigo

Hearing the door slam open, I prayed that whoever it was, they'd leave me be. I prayed even harder that it wasn't Atobe. I tried to listen to where the sounds of the footsteps were headed to, but it was hard to hear over the sound of running water. The next thing I did hear was the shower curtain being ripped open. I turned around only to see the one person that I didn't want to see. "A-Atobe…"

"Oshitari, do you want to explain something to Ore-sama?

The look in his eyes was unbelievably cold, so it was hard to be startled with him standing here in front of my naked body. "I wanted to tell you, but--."

"But what?" Atobe questioned, his voice raising. "That your promise was meaningless? You prefer lying to Ore-s…me?"

For once he dropped his whole "sama" business; he wasn't joking around one-bit. I wanted him to, but who could with what I've done? I can't believe that I hurt him this badly. "No, I never meant for last night to happen."

"Aah, so you just slept with Mukahi and figured I'd be okay with it?

"No! Atobe I…" He suddenly moved forward, stepping under the running shower head without a care in the world. I moved followed-suit, excepting moving backward and begun in a softer tone, "No Atobe, I wasn't thinking last night. I'm sorry."

"So you were going by instinct then?" He had a reply for everything that I said. I assumed that it'd be better if I didn't say anything at all, but I was proven wrong when Atobe placed his hands on the wall behind me – one by both sides of my head. "Well?"

"Well…?"

"Well, is this what it takes?"

Now I was starting to get off track. "What are you talking about?"

And without warning he pinned his clothed body against my nude one. "Sex! Is sex what it takes to be with you?"

I was completely baffled! Was Atobe trying to force me into sex, just so that we would date? I cared about Atobe a lot, but I wasn't about to sleep with him. He was pissed and ironically – seeing as though I made so many wrong choices – it'd be the wrong thing to do. "No, we don't need to sleep together."

"Really? Don't need to? It seemed to go so lovely with Mukahi that I was hoping that I'd have the same luck."

"Atobe get out," I murmured quietly, trying to slip away from him, but his hand quickly moved to grab the back of my neck and held me in place. "Stop--!" My words were halted as his press his lips roughly to my own. I shoved against his chest with my fist in hopes of pushing the sliver haired male away from me. Yet, it didn't work. It seemed that Atobe was determined, or fueled by his rage due to the betrayal I brought upon him. He grabbed one of my wrists with his free hand, still holding my head in place with his other.

There was nothing pleasant about this. He was hurting me. His nails were digging into my wrists and neck, and I felt light headed. He rarely gave me a chance to breathe while his mouth ravenously attacked mine. "A-Atobe…enough." I breathed out pathetically when I finally was able to. Nevertheless, my pleas meant absolutely nothing because no matter how many times I begged him to let me go, he continued. It felt that each kiss and every touch ached worse than the one before. It felt like I was drowning and no one was there to save me.

I was almost completely under when he spun me around to pun me against the cold shower wall. "…no…Atobe…" And what happened next pushed me completely under the water, slipping me into a painful unconsciousness.

******************

No matter how horrible that memory was or how badly I wanted to push it away, I couldn't seem to get it out of my head. It only happened barely a week ago and bruising was healing, but each and every time the nightmare comes back, it feels just as real as when it actually happened. Everything comes flooding back.

Yet, all I can truly remember, something that blocks out all other thoughts, if how bad I hurt them.

I felt so horrible I couldn't show up at practice let alone school. No one missed me. I texted Gakuto in hopes of apologizing and being able to talk with him, but all I got in response was 'Go to hell'. No 'where are you' or 'are you okay'. The closest thing I got was a call from Shishido telling me to get over 'whatever' and to stop being so lame. Oh and I got a text from Atobe. An uncaring message that said, "Keep skipping practice and you're off the team."

Maybe I should just tell him to kick me off the team. Maybe I should leave Hyoutei and get a transfer elsewhere. Although, how could I control myself from letting this whole mess happen again? I let it happen once and I couldn't be sure that it wouldn't happen again. I can't allow this mess to show its ugly face again; I shouldn't even let there be a risk of it. People like me are terrible.

As I lay in bed in thought, my phone rang in protest of my throbbing head. And yet, in spite of my mind splitting headache, I answered like the idiot I truly was. "Yes?"

"Oshitari-senpai?" Choutarou. I wasn't dumb enough to think that Gakuto or Atobe would really call me, so I'm not too sure why I answered the phone in the first place. Was I craving any sort of attention?

"What?"

"Are you okay? I mean…you haven't shown up this past week."

"I'm fine." Lie.

He didn't seem to believe me, which is understandable. Not like I gave anyone a reason to trust me, especially recently. "Have you been sick?"

"I said 'I'm fine'!" I snapped unintentionally, rubbing my temple roughly.

"Eh, gomen…I'm just concerned." This was not helping my throbbing head. "Shishidou-san said that he called you a few days ago and said that you didn't sound too good. No offense, it's just…" The second year was still rambling about something or another while I trailed my way into the bathroom. I was giving the occasional 'mm…' to let Choutarou know I was still on the line, when I caught sight of my reflection in the mirror. I quickly looked away from my repulsive image to find a bottle of pain reliever in the medicine cabinet.

I flicked the lid off of the bottle, letting it clatter onto the white countertop. "Oshitari-senpai?" I filled up a glass of water from the sink. "Oshitari-senpai?"

"Hmm?" I almost forgot that he was on the line for the briefest moment.

"Are you sure that you're okay?" He asked once again as I tilted the small bottle above the cup of water, watching the little blue tablets tumble and sink into the water.

"Choutarou…I--."

"What are you doing?" I tossed the now empty bottle to the floor and picked up the glass from the counter.

"I just have a headache."

"Oshitari-senpai, I'm worried about you."

"Don't be. Don't bother." There was no need for anyone to waste their time on me.

"But--!"

"I got to go." I flipped my cell phone closed, ending the conversation with the flustered kohai. Once I made my way back to my room, I texted both Atobe and Gakuto with an 'I'm sorry'. Hell if that's going to do anything, but I had to let them know.

Sitting down on my bed, I placed my phone on the side table and lifted the glass to eye level. With a guess, I'd say there were at least 20 pills sloshing around in the water, if not more. I wasn't one to ever take medicine so nearly the whole bottle of pills was swimming around in the tap water. Was I trying to get rid of more than just a headache? Sure, I wanted to get rid of everything. All of this pain, not only physically, but mentally, was too much to bear.

Over these past months was full of downs with little or no ups. Every time something even remotely good happened, it shattered into nothing. The horrible mess that was left behind hid any traced of what used to be.

And I was to blame. Gakuto and I were split up because I spent more time on my homework then practicing our doubles. I got jealous over Hiyoshi. I lied to Atobe. I slept with Gakuto and then lied to him. What next? There shouldn't be a next time. There won't be, and I'll make sure of that.

I breathed out a small sigh as I pressed the glass to my lips and tilted my head back to let the drenched pills slide into my mouth. With a huge gulp I swallowed the mouthful and the medication uncomfortably slid down my throat. I helped the process by chugging down the rest of the water in the cup.

And that was that.

I placed the glass aside and laid back on the bed, waiting for the tablets to do their job. But after some time had already elapsed, my stomach was churning painfully. It was nowhere even close to a fluttering feeling and yet it was far worse than nausea. And my head was only throbbing more than it was before.

I reached my trembling hand for my comforter, trying to wrap my suddenly freezing body up, when I heard the constant ringing of the doorbell. Whoever it was they'd give up soon. I could hardly pull the bed covers over me. I wouldn't dare attempt to make my way down the stairs to answer the front door.

When the doorbell stopped ringing, I could have sworn that I heard thudding footsteps getting louder and louder. Was the door unlocked and someone got in? I couldn't be too sure if I was just imagining things what with how tired I was. I felt so exhausted and dazed out, that my mind starting running wild. My eyelids were extremely heavy in spite of the pain coursing through my body.

And then, as I began to drift off, I heard the faint sound of my name being called out.

AN: And another chapter complete! Just one more left now! Woo!

I'm excited that this story is coming to a close because it'll finally be complete after so long. I'll try to get chapter 8 up as soon as I can, but I don't know how fast I can because I'm going to be going on a trip to NYC soon. Please continue to be patient with me!

On a side note, I may be changing my pen name to xfgksx so don't be shocked when it happens!

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