Title: A child shall lead them

Disclaimer: I own nada

Summary: After the events described in Deconstructing Hell Faith, Angel and Xander try to save a girl from her past while Faith tries to deal with the biggest challenge of her life. You should read DH first.

Rating: Teen

Chapter 7: Antarctica

Ethan thought it was unfair that Giles got a gun and he got to go first. After all, what was he, just a giant human-shaped decoy to attract bullets and save Ripper's life while being shot down himself?

Well, yes. Of course he was. He kept forgetting his place here, and Giles was so kind, reminding him of it.

"Hello," said Ethan cautiously, entering the hidden Antarctic base. He was a bit surprised the security wasn't better.

Then he spotted a dead guard, lying in a pool of his own blood staring at the ceiling. That wasn't part of the plan, he didn't think. Not with the heroes, surely? He had spent quite a bit of time among villains, and perhaps had forgotten how heroes did these things, but he was pretty sure that this lot was not so cold-blooded as all that.

"Well," said Giles, following Ethan in. "It appears he had some plans for these people. And some pent-up rage."

"Yes, lots of the rage," said Ethan. "Oodles."

Giles rubbed his face. "Oh, dear Lord."

"I've missed hearing you say that," said Ethan ruefully. "It really captures the sheer and utter depth of the trouble we're in. Why are we in trouble now?"

"You've missed hearing me say that? I only said it when I was about to carve your liver out."

"Those were good times. Very chaotic."

"You know, I've just now realized why you kept coming back to Sunnydale despite being beat every time. You enjoyed getting beat up. You're a bloody masochist!"

"Well, I didn't enjoy the pain. But the fights! They were thrilling. I mean, it was special. Nowhere else could I get such thrilling banter, such dashingly heroic enemies—you know I live for that sort of thing."

Giles sighed. "You just never grew up, did you?"

"No, never. And I don't plan to, just because I'm getting old and wrinkly."

"Well, at some point, you no longer have a choice in the matter," growled Giles. He moved forward, kicking a door open. A girl was crouched in the corner, hugging her knees and sobbing, and Giles let out a long sigh. "Are you all right?" he asked her.

"M-monster," she sobbed.

"Yes, I rather let him in, I'm afraid," said Giles, glancing back at the dead body behind them. "Which way did he go?"

She pointed back inward, and Giles rushed forward. Ethan hesitated, then followed him.

Angel was up on a table when they found him, surrounded by dead bodies. He was holding his head in his hands, looking for all the world like a guilty child caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

"Good lord," whispered Giles.

"I can't help it! The smell of her… it's haunting me now!" growled Angel, looking up at them, still in game face. There was blood smeared down his face. "Don't look at me like that. You knew I was a monster when you agreed to come out here. That's the whole point, isn't it? Use the monster you hate on the enemies gunning after your little girls?"

Giles went to a one-handed grip on his gun, sliding his right hand into his pocket. "Isn't this more Angelus' shade of gray?"

"Don't go for a cross, or a stake, or holy water. You have no idea what kind of bad mood I'm in," warned Angel. "These clowns aren't affiliated with Wolfram and Hart, which means Spike doesn't know diddly-squat about them. He's very blind, sometimes... to other people's problems, I think."

"He has his own problems anyway."

"Ah!" Angel dropped his hands from the sides of his head, leaning forward on his knuckles. "You aren't paying attention. They aren't affiliated with Wolfram and Hart. That means that we don't have any inside information on them, like we do on most evil organizations. That's been our hub, our source, our way in! And the base here is astonishingly empty. Just guards, cleaned out filing cabinets, and flunkies. Somebody cleaned up here recently."

Ethan moved over to the corner of the room, where a filing cabinet had been knocked over. "Scoured clean. I wonder how they found out we were coming?"

"If they'd known, they would have burned it," growled Angel. "They're on the move, and we're a step behind, and I'm having trouble controlling myself. Do you have any idea how monumentally screwed we are?"

"I'm getting the picture."

Xander carefully rolled the window of the RV down, leaning out the driver's window and dropping coins into the metal cage below him. "Thanks, have a nice day!" he said as the toll began clicking and whirring.

Faith was lying curled up in the fetal position on the seat opposite him, leaning back and trying to doze. Her eyes were open now and she was blinking sleepily out into the darkness.

"You talking to machines again, Xan?"

"Yeah. It's wacky, but fun. How're you doing?"

"Ugh. Dreams about Spike."

"Mega-ew."

"I mean Slayer dreams, twit."

"That's still an ew, at least. A little one, maybe."

"Eh. Do I complain about your Jenna Elfman dreams?"

"That's different. It's art."

"Huh. You know, there is no situation so terrible you can't make it just a little worse, is there?"

"Not one. Buffy died the second time, and I said, not again!"

"That's awful."

"Yeah, I know."

"Did you really?"

"No. I was pretty shook up. So, bad dream?"

"Well, yeah. Spike killing girls. Again. I'm pretty sure it was happening, too. Kind of rough."

Xander was silent, watching the empty road ahead of them for a minute. "You know, could we pretend for a minute that I'm the kind of person who doesn't trust Spike? Or, on second thought, don't pretend."

"It wasn't really Spike, though. It looked like him, but it didn't act like him."

"So he's not in control? Terrific."

She tightened up the fetal ball. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Sorry."

"It's not… egh! It really isn't, but you don't see it at all!"

"No, it's fine. I know. I have… issues, okay? I have issues. I don't like Spike. Never have, never will."

"Yeah."

"And you know that he stole my last girl from me, right? Well, okay, that's not quite how it happened, but…"

"What? I don't think I ever heard this story." And she had been working hard to try to reconstruct everything that had happened, to understand their history. She listened avidly to every single story, trying to get that full picture that she was always sure she must be missing.

"Geez. Yeah. Well, you met Anya. And you know how things were between her and me? She slept with Spike."

"Well."

"Granted, I already hated Spike by that point. A lot, not just a little. When I found out, I tried to kill him. I really did."

"Oh."

"Yeah. So if things seem a little strained between him and me… it's because they are."

"Ah. Right. It's always about the women with you two, isn't it?"

"Well, we're a lot alike, that way. If in no other way. I'll give him that. It's a laudable trait, wanting to protect the women in your life. Laudable. Of course, right up there with the protect he's got the stalk, and the rape."

Faith was very quiet for a long minute. "Well. You said that once before, didn't you? That bit about rape. And I didn't... I never made you explain it. But..."

"Well, because I didn't want to be seen as the one who was trying to push him away from you. That, and Buffy completely forgave him… forgave him!"

"I take it… she was the one he tried to rape?"

"Yeah."

"Did he?"

"What?"

"Succeed?"

"No. But only because she stopped him."

"Ah. And she slept with him, after that?"

"No. She slept with him before that. I don't know… god, I hope she didn't sleep with him after that!"

Faith was very quiet for a while, and Xander drove on in silence, his jaw clenched. Finally he couldn't take the silence any more and spoke. "I know there's more to the story that Buffy just didn't want to tell us. I know that. And Spike certainly never said anything—he never considered himself part of the group. So I know there's a lot I don't know. And if you really want the truth you have to ask one of them."

"I hate rapists."

"I know."

"Did I ever tell you I was raped before I was called?"

"No. But I… I kind of thought so."

"Why? Is it obvious?"

"It was obvious that night when we ran into the guy trying to get the girl in his car, and you broke both his arms."

"Oh, yeah."

"I was… I liked it. That you hurt him. That you helped her. I mean, sure, sacred calling and all, but I'm not sure that… I'm not sure that falls under your sacred calling. That's more of something you do… Agh. I can't explain."

"No, I know. I get it." She let out a long sigh. "What a screwed-up bunch of losers we are. I can't imagine Spike… I mean, if there's one thing I know, it's that he tries to protect the women in his life. Even the vampire women in his life! He tried to get a soul for Drusilla because he had to try to save her. Had to. And he tried to… to Buffy! That's not just sick, it's stupid. She's the one woman who for sure can stop him."

"You forget, he was obsessed with her. I mean, I don't want to score any points in his favor, but when he was obsessed with Buffy… I think he may have even rejected Drusilla."

"You think?"

"Well, Buffy wasn't too clear on that episode either. I mean, yeah, we're friends. We're supposed to talk. But the really important stuff she walls off. I mean, everything with Spike was so personal for her."

"Well, yeah. You think she ever loved him?"

Xander snorted. "Buffy, love Spike? I don't think she was really allowing herself to be open and honest with anybody at that point. I mean, the first guy she goes out with, Angel, the first guy she sleeps with… he screwed her over so mightily that it poisoned everything from there on out. She never let Riley get close, and he was a good guy. She pushed him away, even though he loved her, because she wouldn't trust him. Can you have love without trust? I don't know. And then Spike… he worked so hard to make her trust him, and then he turned on her, just like every other guy she's ever known."

"So you're saying Buffy may have some trust issues."

"Yeah… like you might have some trust issues."

"Okay, point."

"Which is yet another reason you two never got on the greatest."

"Hey, we got on."

"Yeah, but you wouldn't trust each other, would you?"

"Well, that's how we are."

"Exactly."

Angel was sulking. There was no other possible word for what he was doing. Sure, he could try to write it off as brooding or thinking or some other pretty word, but he was really sulking.

He sat in the rear of the airplane, blocking the exit with his arm crossed, and glared up at Giles and Ethan, who were both backwards in their seats, watching him. The secretary he'd left alive was sitting in a far corner, sleeping.

And he was tied up.

That seemed to him to be a little excessive. If they were afraid of him, why not just hold crosses or eat garlic or something else? Why bother tying him up with ropes he could break through in a second?

He was glad he'd had the presence of mind to arrange a plan to get Faith so lost he couldn't find her. Sometimes when temptation came, you had to play dirty. He understood that.

Ergo, the ropes.

Still, he had flexed his muscles as they put the ropes on, and he knew he could break free. And if it came down to it and he totally lost control, he wasn't sure Faith and the baby would be safe from him anyway.

So he was tied up, and the secretary was sleeping.

It wasn't good for his peace of mind.

Giles hated him, which was good. That kind of hatred was important right now. That kind of hatred could keep them alive.

And when had the ropes been broken? Oh, right, just now. Well. That was interesting.

Faith was too loyal to him, ultimately. Just like she was to Spike. She didn't understand why he hated that loyalty to Spike so much. When you cared about a person like that, you couldn't kill them when they turned evil.

Unless you were Buffy, and could pull it off to save the world. Which had been a really major bummer at the time.

Faith had proved she couldn't do it, even putting herself at risk to save him with the Morpheus. Ultimately, he hated her friendship with Spike because it reminded him that she was too soft-hearted. And it would get her killed some day.

Probably today, come to think of it. When he went after her and killed her because she was a pregnant Slayer and just smelling a pregnant Slayer filled him with bloodlust.

"Stand away from that girl," ordered Giles.

Angel put his hand on the secretary's neck, turning his head slightly to face Giles. And when had he got all the way across the plane here, with the two of them still watching him? How fast was he moving without thinking now? "I'm trying to think, here, and you're not helping." He didn't remember hearing Giles tell him to stop before, but he had been lost in inner dialogue.

Giles was aiming a water pistol at him, a shiny pink thing. "This is loaded with holy water. It might not kill you, but we both know it would hurt."

"And I've got a cross!" said Ethan nervously, standing as far behind Giles as he could. "And I'm sure we can find a Slayer somewhere."

"A Slayer? The only vampire more deadly to Slayers than me isn't even a vampire any more. You guys know that."

Giles just snarled at him. "Come on, Angel. Just back away from that girl."

Angel began to laugh, and he could feel tears already forming in his eyes. That was ridiculous. He was a vampire. A bad, mean, evil vampire. Who was doing good now! He had to remind himself of that part. And the soul! The soul.

"Since when am I the bad guy?" he asked, angry now. "I fight all the time. I fight my own nature. I've been fighting it since before either of you were born!"

Ethan was muttered words to a spell now, under his breath, gesturing his hands esoterically. The other two ignored him, just glowering at each other.

"You're not a real hero," said Giles with contempt. "You were crushed to find out you wouldn't be properly rewarded for your work. You don't fight for the right reasons—and you're a monster."

"Monster?" Angel's face contorted, his human façade rippling and shifting, crunching slightly as his real face came out. "You want to see a monster, Giles?"

Ethan whirled, screaming a final word in Latin, and light blazed out of his hands, blasting Angel off his feet and into the wall. As he hit the wall it seemed to explode with light, and he flew right through it.

Giles blinked. "A transportation spell? How… awful. You've just foisted him off on an unsuspecting world."

Ethan chuckled. "Not so, not so. I knew you'd be worried about where he went, but I carefully constructed that very powerful and draining spell to send him to the place he least wants to be right now." A trickle of blood dripped down his upper lip. "If you'll excuse me, I think I'm going to pass out now." He slid down to the floor bonelessly.

Giles didn't even try to catch him, or cushion his fall.

Xander stared at the vampire who'd just materialized out of thin air behind him. "Faith, when you were ordering food from the nice Chinese guys, did you order a side of vampire? Because you totally got him."

Faith slammed down the brakes, nearly losing control of the RV as she pulled it over. "Angel!" she yelled happily.

Angel was crouched on the floor, trying to get his bearings. When he heard her voice he looked up, a panicked look on his face.

"Don't worry, the sun just set," Xander assured him. "Why the big magic whammy-jammy? Needed to get out here in a hurry?"

"Actually, I think this is the last place I needed to be," growled Angel. He was in game face, and he could smell them both so sharply, so clearly.

They smelled like dinner.

Faith put the RV's parking brakes on, and shrugged out of her seat belt. "Well, come on, big guy, do I get a hug?"

His lips twisted into a cruel smirk.