Things I Cannot Do in Amity Park
#30) I will not attempt to convince my classmates that Pariah Dark was compensating for something.
Kwan Long was having a very nice day. That in itself made the teen wary of anything and everything. After living in Amity Park for so many years, he learned that a nice day in this town was a warning, not a relief.
So as the young adult, still not quite at the peek of his youth, chomped away at his afternoon snack and walked through the hallways to his next class, he kept his eyes and ears open and ready for anything- more than likely a ghost attack.
But no matter how alert he felt, nothing could prepare him for his confrontation with Danny Fenton's current conversation.
"But Pariah Dark's beef is practically the talk of the Ghost Zone!"
"Just because a couple gossiping girl ghosts didn't take you hitting on them too nicely doesn't mean the previous Ghost King had a 'party in his pants.'"
"Well they were obviously too hung up on something else to not notice the charms of Too Fine Tucker Foley."
"And you think that has any relevance to the size of Pariah's "Minnie Dark?"
"All I'm saying is that armor was huge for a reason, and it ain't got nothing to do with his power levels," Tucker Foley huffed, glaring at Sam Manson who rolled her eyes.
Danny Fenton cut in suddenly as the trio headed to their classroom. "Look guys, the project description said I could write about any ghost I wanted using any theories I have, no matter how common or uncommon said theories may be," the boy argued.
"I didn't think you'd write about the old ghost king's goddamn penis, Danny," Sam groaned.
"Hey! With a ego that big and ancient artifacts that powerful, he's obviously compensating for something."
Kwan promptly choked on his bagel.
"...and that is why it is my belief that Danny was a brave warrior from the Aztec civilization that has lived thousands of years to protect the prosperity of humankind," Paulina finished with a large grin, a projected image of the ghost illuminating the white board behind her.
Sam leaned forward and snickered. "Hey, Danny, looks like you're an old man now."
The class laughed as Paulina huffed angrily, "I meant Danny Phantom not Danny Fenton for your information."
"Okay," Sam blinked, causing the class to laugh again. The hispanic at the front of the room scowled and smacked the teasing goth with her folder as she passed Sam by, giving the smirking girl a small glare as she seated herself.
Lancer stood. "Very well done, Miss Sanchez, I thoroughly enjoyed your interesting take on Mr. Phantom's origins."
"I did too!" Tucker gasped, pointing accusingly at his best friend. "Man Danny, the chicks back then were hot. You were living the good life. Well, if you were actually alive that is."
The overweight english teacher's exasperated sigh was the only thing preventing the class from falling apart again. "Can we please leave the Daniel jokes outside of the classroom?" he asked, muttering something about white vans and weird previous practical jokes. "I'm sure he hears it enough outside of school, goodness knows how often you people tease him here." Lancer shuffled his papers as he chose his next student. "Actually, Daniel, it's your turn to present your theories."
From the back of the room, a young asian male squeaked, unheard by everyone but his best friend who only sent him an odd look.
The class eagerly sat up, excited to hear the analysis of Danny Phantom from the son of two ghost hunters, experts in their field of study. Danny walked between the isles and settled himself comfortably in the front of the classroom before handing a copy of his notes to Lancer and loading his powerpoint. "Sorry to disappoint, but I didn't do my project on Phantom. I chose Pariah Dark," Danny addressed the class.
The class gasped as a rather realistic image of the ghost king's sarcophagus was shown on the projector. More than several students wondered how Danny had gotten a hold of it.
"This," the teen explained, "is the large containment cell that houses the most powerful ghost known to mankind, the previous ruler, Pariah Dark. Looking at this huge hunk of metal, its no wonder people fear his power if that big of a box is needed to trap him." The slide changed to show a crown and a ring. "But what a lot of people don't know is that most of his power comes from these two ancient artifacts called "The Ring of Rage" and "The Crown of Fire."
Danny waved a hand in the air. "Think about it like this, without these two accessories, the Ghost King wouldn't even be able to match Undergrowth, and considering how Pariah's supposed to be absolutely no much for any opponent, that's a huge deal. But what I have chosen to research is why exactly Pariah feels the need to compensate so incredibly if the rumors of him being well endowed are true."
Several seconds of silence followed Danny's proclamation.
"Daniel, please tell me you did not do your entire presentation on the properties of Pariah Dark's penis."
"Actually, Mr. Lancer, if you look on page twelve I delve into an analysis of his family jewels as well."
...
"Tucker made the illustrations."
A/N: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯