A/N: Please forgive me for this story taking so long to update. My life got crazy and I had no time for fun stuff. I am so sorry!!!
Dr. Derek Shepherd, M.D.
Derek has always been somewhat of a mystery to me. He just showed up out of nowhere, some hotshot doctor from New York. I thought he would be some conceited holier than thou New Yorker, but he was not that way at all. Dr. Shepherd is unique. He continues to surprise me everyday that I work with him.
I watched him from the nurses' station as he got off the elevator. He looked just as bruised and broken as Meredith, maybe more so. Meredith had been damaged both physically and emotionally, but in my opinion Derek has been damaged as well. His bruises you can't see from the outside, because he keeps them well hidden. They are there just the same. There have been several events in Derek's life that have demonstrated his propensity for the dramatic.
I should have known something was off when he got involved in a relationship with his intern. Derek Shepherd did not strike me as the type of person to get involved with an intern. He is strong, compassionate, and most of all he is a professional. His behavior during Dr. Grey's first year in her internship was anything but professional. I noticed this when I caught them together in his car. My first thought was nasty, nasty people, but then as I thought about it some more I realized that Dr. Shepherd was really risking a lot for this intern. I felt something was wrong though, deep down in my gut. That something came in the form of Dr. Addison Montgomery Shepherd.
He should have been honest with Meredith from the beginning. I don't fault Derek completely though. I mean it had to have been hard to find your wife having sex with your best friend. I am not faulting him for running away. It is not what I would have done, but I was not in his situation. He picked Addison. He chose Addison. He loved Addison. We were all supposed to think he was happy, but I knew that he wasn't. He spent the next year miserable, but never more miserable then on the day that Meredith held a bomb.
I of course did not observe this firsthand, because I was preoccupied giving birth to my son. I only know what I have heard second hand from the rest of the suckups. Meredith, being Meredith, acted before she thought and stuck her hand in a patient with an unexploded bomb in him. They had to close the surgical floor because of the bomb, but Derek stayed in the operating room with my Tucker. I will be forever grateful to him. He made a decision that night. He decided to end his marriage, but in actuality the decision had been made months earlier.
It was a train accident. I will remember that day for the rest of my life, because it was the first time Meredith Grey came into her own as a doctor. It was a very busy day in the E.R., one that was about to become compounded when a mass casualty came in. There had been a train accident, so I put my interns in charge of triage. I thought we had it under control when two people were wheeled in. They looked like they were hugging each other, but the only difference was that there was a metal pole that joined them together. I was busy giving Meredith a banana bag, when I noticed Derek silently watching her. I couldn't tell if he was tired from the events of the day or just heart sick. I knew that whatever the problem was he couldn't take much more before breaking down. I was right of course, his breakdown occurred in the elevator on the way down to tell the young woman's fiancé that she had died in surgery. I glanced at him sideways and watched as tears welled up in his eyes. I pushed the stop button as he made his way to the back of the elevator. His back was turned away from me, so I wouldn't see the tears that fell silently down his cheeks. I knew that he was not crying for a patient, but rather for losing the love of his life. Derek is a man of his word and in that moment he couldn't break the vow that he made with Addison. I told him later that he broke her and he couldn't fix her, but I think he broke part of himself that day too. The rest of him broke when he pulled her out of the bay during the ferry boat crash.
The worst moment of my entire career happened when I had to send Derek out in the hall to wait and see whether the love of his life would live or die. We worked on Meredith feverishly for over an hour and I have to say that if she wouldn't have pulled through, we would have lost Derek too. We revived her and I thought that they would both finally be okay, but I was wrong. Derek faulted Meredith for nearly drowning that day. He thought she gave up. He never said anything outright, but the Nazi always knows. He told her that he could no longer breathe for her. Derek and Meredith are really perfect for each other. They both are dark & twisty on some level. Derek covers it up with his McDreamy personality, but it is getting harder to cover up. I watch both Derek and Meredith from afar and I realize that they may not make it together, but in the end they will be stronger people for having been in each other's lives. In my heart of hearts I hope that both of them get their happily ever after. I have also come to realize that one cannot depend on another person to achieve that. One person that has finally realized that is Addison Montgomery.
Next up: Dr. Addison Montgomery, M.D.
I am so sorry for the lack of an update for this story. I wouldn't blame you if you all stopped reading, but I hope you didn't. The alert system is working today…Yay!!!! I finally got a working computer…Double Yay!!! Please review if you wish…:)