As he emerged from the dungeons, Remus realized he had very little desire to go back to the dormitory. Flashbacks from the night before kept appearing before his eyes and he felt a strange sense of anxiety in the pit of his stomach, along with plenty of other mixed up feelings. The last thing he needed was to be alone with his thoughts. So, with no other clever ideas coming to mind, he distractedly made his way to visit Peter in the hospital wing.
As he passed through the glass doors, Remus couldn't help but think of how he had been here only a few hours ago. He remembered how limp Severus felt in his arms, how light he had been to carry, how naked and broken he'd looked before Remus wrapped him in his cloak.
"Hello, Moony!" Peter's high, wheezy voice brought Remus back to the present. Peter was sitting up in bed against a stack of pillows, a book resting on his lap. "Hi, Peter. How are you feeling?" Remus approached the bedside and leaned against the windowsill.
"Oh, I'm alright," he replied offhandedly. "I'm not cold-blooded anymore and the scales are almost gone, at least." Peter seemed uninterested in the attention, which was rather unusual for him. He was usually a drama queen about things. But right now, he was eyeing his friend with a sort of strange curiosity that made Remus incredibly uncomfortable.
"Sleep late this morning, Moony?"
"No. Well yes," Remus began nervously. "But I didn't sleep that late. I would have dropped by to see you sooner, but I was getting breakfast."
"I didn't realize there was still breakfast at this hour." Peter's expression was hard to read, but Remus didn't like the way his lips were curved just slightly at the corners, or the slightly smug tone he was using.
"There isn't," he said shortly. "But the tables had only just been cleared and I happened to run into Professor Dumbledore and he –"
"Oh! Dumbledore!" Peter interrupted suddenly. "He came by and left a message just a little while ago. He figured you'd be stopping in here to pay me a visit. He said he'd like to talk privately with you in his office as soon as you get the chance. The password is stringmint."
"Oh. Erm, alright then." Remus avoided meeting Peter's interrogating gaze. "Well, I should probably go find out what he wants, I suppose." He made an attempt to fake an oblivious shrug, though it looked much more like an exasperated flail.
"Sure. You should do that." Peter's voice was calm and flat.
"Okay, I'll see you later, then." He gave a small wave and walked briskly towards the doors. He didn't necessarily want to go talk to Dumbledore, but he preferred that over staying in the hospital wing with Peter for any longer. The atmosphere was just too tense and strange between them, and it wasn't something he wanted to deal with right now.
While Avery was safely out of the way, Severus hastened to straighten up the room. He cleaned off Mulciber's bed, straightened the blankets, and readjusted the pillow. He made sure there were no stray crumbs on the floor. When everything seemed in order, he propped himself up on his own bed and grabbed a book, Most Potente Potions, from the end table. Might as well play up the part of being sick.
But he could not focus on the words on the page in front of him. His mind was too busy spinning in every direction; he felt tense, angry, weary, distracted. Images of the night before continued to flash before his eyes and he tried desperately to push them away with any thoughts that came to mind; schoolwork, dinner, the weather, Remus...
The door opened and Avery trudged into the room, his arms full of sweets. "Got your mice here," he said, dumping the load onto his mattress and then chucking the box of Ice Mice across the room to Severus. "Thanks," he responded hoarsely, and took one out of the package. His teeth squeaked as he bit into the peppermint candy.
"Hey, who else was here?"
"What?" Severus felt his heart skip a beat. How did Avery know?
"There's two cups in here. One on your table, and one on Mulciber's." He was right. Shit, Severus thought to himself. He'd completely overlooked the spare cup.
"Uh, I grabbed breakfast earlier, and I was feeling real lousy so I got two cups of coffee to help wake me up." It was the best excuse he could think of on the spot, but luckily Avery seemed to accept it without question. Severus tried to think of something else to talk about. "I see you found more than just the Fizzing Whizbees, Ave." He pointed to the half dozen Chocolate Frogs scattered across the bed.
"I couldn't help myself." Avery grinned that greedy, crooked smile of his. "But I think I'll save'm for later - I've got a fuckin' awful hangover. I'm just gonna lay down for awhile." With that, he cleared a space on his bed and flopped down onto the mattress, his face obscured by a green pillow.
Severus stayed in bed pretending to read until he heard Avery's breathing grow slow and heavy. When he was sure his roommate was asleep, Severus stepped quietly across the room and through the bathroom door, closing it behind him. That coffee was starting to hit him. He pissed, flushed, and stepped up to the sink to wash his hands. When he had turned off the water and dried his hands on the small towel hanging by the faucet, he looked up and caught sight of himself in the mirror.
The shocked reflection that stared back at him looked terrible. He pushed his hair away from his cheeks to reveal the bruises that had bloomed across his face. They stood out even more because of how pale his skin was. His lips were cut and chapped - come to think of it, had he had anything to drink besides that coffee? He turned the sink back on, taking a long sip from his cupped hands. Two of his fingernails were broken. Madam Pomfrey had apparently been able to eliminate the pain, but Severus wondered why the wounds themselves hadn't healed. And how much more damage had been done?
Severus reached past the shower curtain and turned on the hot water. Slowly, he undressed in front of the mirror, taking in every inch and imperfection of his body. He cringed as more and more bruises were exposed, on his neck, his chest, his wrists, hips, thighs, ankles. Almost unconsciously, Severus leaned towards the glass and lightly touched each blemish and mark on his flesh. He could feel nothing, but they were there. There were scratches, too, on his collarbone and across his stomach. Though - he closed his eyes painfully - it was more likely that they were bite marks.
He felt a wave of nausea and steadied himself against the sink. He wished he had asked Avery for something other than Ice Mice; the smell of peppermint was making his head pound. Another wave hit him and this time Severus dropped to his knees and leaned over the toilet bowl. Beads of cold sweat ran down his forehead and shoulders as he shivered and waited to vomit. He felt tears creeping at the corners of his eyes, but Peter's taunting voice echoed in the back of his mind. "Wait until James and Sirius hear about how much you cried last night in your sleep, Snivellus."
After a seemingly endless amount of time dry heaving and shivering on the bathroom floor, Severus' misery hardened into frustration. It'd be easier to just get this over with, he thought. He'd never made himself throw up before, but he knew how it was done. He braced himself for the act and leaned forward a little more before reaching a finger into the back of his throat. It took a few seconds of gagging before he got it right, and the meager contents of his stomach were introduced to the toilet water. Severus leaned back up against the wall, his hair damp from sweat and condensation in the air. He felt better already.
Unfortunately for Remus, the atmosphere in Dumbledore's office was hardly any more comfortable than the hospital wing. The warm, soft glow of lamps along the walls was offset by the cold light filtering in from outside the tall, narrow windows. Remus entered the room hesitantly. The headmaster was sitting at his desk, staring down at the surface. He looked up as Remus crossed the threshold of the door.
"Ah, there you are, Mister Lupin. I suspected you'd be arriving soon." He gestured to the chair on the other side of the desk. "Please sit."
Remus sat down on the old, red plush seat. He looked up at Dumbledore, whose bright blue eyes seemed heavy but piercing nonetheless. "I'm sure you know what I want to talk with you about."
Remus nodded tightly.
"Before anything else, I can't stress how dangerous it was for you to take matters into your own hands like you did. When you got the letter, why didn't you come alert me, or Professor McGonagall?"
"I'm sorry, I just... I know it was a rash decision, professor. I don't know why I didn't tell anyone. Maybe it's because with everyone gone for the holiday, I just really wanted something to do. Some sort of adventure. Some good deed." He looked down sadly. "I thought I was doing the right thing."
Dumbledore laid one of his hands on the polished surface of the desk. "Please don't think that I am ungrateful for your willingness to act so quickly. I don't doubt your good intentions. But in hindsight, given the circumstance and the individuals involved, I hope you realize how foolish it was to go off on your own."
"Yes sir."
Satisfied with Remus' humble response, Dumbledore pulled a small, folded piece of parchment from the pocket of his robes and pushed it across the desk. It was the note that Severus had written. "I do recall that you explained what happened last night when you arrived back at the castle. However, we were all obviously a bit distracted and the conversation was quite brief. If you can, I need you to tell me now, in full, everything that took place last night."
Remus leaned back and took a deep breath before he began. At first, he had no trouble; he explained how he had been helping to decorate the Great Hall, how the owl had flown in and knocked him off the ladder, what time his watch had read as he threw on his cloak and dashed through the front doors of the castle. He did fib once, saying he'd sneaked into the thestral pen without asking permission, but this was for Hagrid's sake and it didn't affect the rest of the story. He explained how he'd landed in Spinner's End, the footprints in the snow, the abandoned building, the muffled noises coming from the basement level, the boards on the window. But it was here, when trying to explain what he had seen inside, that he found himself suddenly faltering, his throat tight, his legs weak. He swallowed and tried again, but nothing more than stuttered syllables fell from his lips.
The headmaster raised his hand gently. "This is undoubtedly a difficult thing to talk about. Would you prefer to show me, instead?"
Remus glanced up, his eyebrows furrowed. "I'm n-not sure what you mean, professor."
Dumbledore stood up and crossed the room, opening the door of a cabinet and withdrawing a small stone basin from one of the shelves. "This is a Pensieve," he said, coming back over to set it down upon the desk. Remus stared at the strange, swirling liquid. "It allows one to extract and review memories. The relief it brings to a burdened mind is incredibly soothing as well. This may make it easier for both of us."
Remus had never seen a Pensieve before, but he had read about them and trusted Dumbledore's suggestion. With the bearded wizard's instruction, he held his wand to his temple and allowed the memory of Spinnet's End to pass through his mind. As he pulled the wand away, a thin silver strand of light clung to the tip. Dumbledore pointed to the basin. "Just place it in there. Then take my hand and we'll follow."
After a moment of feeling as if he were falling, Remus found himself standing once again on the snowy, deserted sidewalks of Spinner's End, this time with Dumbledore at his side. As he looked around at the all too familiar scenery, a movement caught the corner of his eye. Remus turned and gasped, surprised to see himself jumping from a rooftop to the ground below, causing the soft snow to puff around his feet. Dumbledore motioned that they follow 'Remus', the memory Remus, who was walking briskly across the street towards a solitary lamp post.
Dumbledore kept close as they moved down the alley, but Remus hung behind. He didn't care much to relive this experience. He kept his eyes lowered, listening to the sound of nails being pulled from the boards they held in place. The splintering sound of wood being peeled from the windowpane.
And suddenly the basement materialized around them. Remus could almost smell the dank, filthy stench of mildew and sweat and sex. Though he kept his eyes averted, he could see in the corner of his vision the figure sprawled across the floor. He felt as if it were a violation of Severus' privacy by allowing Dumbledore to see the scene in its entirety. But Dumbledore was not looking, either. He had turned away as well, the lines of his face deeper and sadder. "That's enough," he said, placing a hand on Remus' shoulder and pulling them away from the dark spectacle.
Back in his office, Dumbledore drew the memory from the Pensieve and placed it in a small glass vial. "Would you like me to keep this here?" Remus nodded. His heart did feel less heavy; though the memory was not gone from his mind, it took more effort to recall and the images themselves were less vivid.
"I take it you didn't get a glimpse of Severus' attackers before they disapparated?"
"No," said Remus, shaking his head. "Is that what you wanted to see?"
Dumbledore sighed. "Yes. I was hoping to identify the other two wizards responsible, but seeing as you didn't catch their faces, I felt it would be unnecessary to stay any longer."
Remus frowned. "I'm sorry I don't have more information for you, professor."
"You shouldn't be sorry for things you have no control over, Remus. And please know that my office is open any time, if there are things bothering you. But if you haven't any questions right now, I'll let you be on your way. I still need to talk to Severus."
The boy flicked a couple loose strands of blonde hair from his eyes. "About him, actually. Professor, don't take this the wrong way, it's just that I was wondering why you -"
"Why I wanted to talk to you before I spoke with Severus?"
"Er, yes."
"I wanted to get as many details from you first, so he won't have to relive the experience quite so vividly."
"Right, okay." Remus's neck was starting to hurt from all the nodding he was doing. "Well, I suppose I'll be going now. Good luck with Severus, professor."
Severus had no idea how long he had been in the bathroom, but when he finally snapped from his reverie and pulled himself to his feet, the shower had run cold. Which meant he had definitely been in there for a good while, because until then, Severus hadn't even thought the hot water could run out in the bathrooms. It had never happened before, at least. But after everything, he couldn't just skip getting clean, so he endured the ice cold water for long enough to wash his hair and scrub himself down. He stepped out of the shower colder than ever, his fingertips and toes turning purple. Throwing his taupe-colored towel over his shoulders and then tightly wrapping it around his narrow frame, he opened the door and stepped softly back into the dormitory.
Avery was gone. The light in the room had grown a deeper shade of blue, signifying that it was already getting close to evening. Had he really been in the bathroom for hours? Severus hoped Avery hadn't noticed. He threw his towel onto his bed for a moment as he searched through his trunk for clean clothes. He touched each bruise again before hiding them beneath black socks, black trousers, and a light grey turtleneck. As he reached for his robes, a faint scratching noise came from outside the door. Severus approached cautiously and opened the door just enough to peer through the space. Nothing...
A sudden meow made him jump and he cursed under his breath as a grey and white cat pushed the door open with its nose. It carried a small note carefully between its teeth and dropped the parchment at Severus' feet, then sat and stared expectantly up at him.
"Oh go on, get," he muttered, picking up the paper. "I don't have anything for you, I'm sorry." The cat switched its tail a couple times before slinking back out of the room. Severus watched it leave, then looked back down at the note in his hands.
Severus,
I would like for us to speak this evening in my office, whenever you have time to spare.
-Professor Dumbledore