Chapter 7: Conscience

As Ellie laid down on the stretcher inside the emergency tram heading towards Odyssey Medical Hospital, she began to immediately think about Isaac. She was concerned about him and was worried that he would be caught or killed. It made her shudder to think about the various things that could happen if his cover was blown. She knew that his plan was to navigate around the station and finding a mean of escape while maintaining his disguise as an EarthGov security force and while she was being treated. Then he would meet up with her and escape Odyssey Station to somewhere else, somewhere safer. However, a realization then hit her mind immediately. What if Isaac had decided to part ways with her without her knowing it? She knew that Isaac had sent her away in the gunship back at Titan Station to make sure that she would be safe. What if he decided to do the same here again? No, he had promised her… Promised that they would stick together no matter what… He wouldn't… Ellie understood that Isaac did not want to put her in harm's way by bringing her with him. But did he understand the feelings that she held for him?

The more Ellie thought about it, the more she began to see it clearly. No, it was no longer just friendship that she held for him anymore… She cared about Isaac deeply and genuinely, more than a friend till the point she was risking and sacrificing everything to save him. When he collapsed and became unconscious in front of her, she was so afraid that he wouldn't wake back up till she sat in front of him for hours until he did. Isaac didn't know this, but since she lost all her friends back at Titan Station doing the Necromorph outbreak she had been broken, sad and thought that everyone was just a liability. But after everything she and Isaac had been through she had began to pick herself back up again and the confidence in her started to come back. Isaac didn't know it, but it was him that kept her together all this time. First it was trust that strengthened, and then it became friendship which continued to grow… but now it was no longer just friendship… it was feelings and care for one another. And after that? She knew whatever feelings that were shared between them were slowly growing inside her and Isaac and blossoming into... Ellie knew that Isaac shared the same feelings for her. But she also knew that he held more guilt inside him than anyone that she knew. Guilt for asking her to take care of Stross, guilt that he had caused her so much pain when he sent her away, but there was something else… Ellie didn't know what it was but there was something Isaac hadn't told her that was building up the guilt inside him, killing him slowly.

As the doors of the tram opened as it arrived at Odyssey Medical Hospital, the medical personnel carefully carried the stretcher Ellie was on towards the hospital. As they approached the hospital, Ellie remembered the events that transpired between her and Isaac just hours ago.

Ellie remembered the feeling she felt when she first touched Isaac's hand while he was still unconscious. It was warm and radiant. The hug she gave when he awoke from unconsciousness, the warm and softness of his body when she pressed herself against him… The heat that flowed from his chest into hers… the soft, slow and calming rhythm of his heartbeat she heard when she buried her head into him during the hug. Part of her wondered what it would be like to press her lips against his…..

Then as the hospital doors opened, a cool breeze flowed out of the hospital lobby to the outside.

As for Ellie, all she was doing right now was praying that Isaac was safe… And that he would keep her promise…..

"So Mr. Keith… you're telling me that after Tiedemann had declared a station wide emergency and martial law, you helped and aided in the evacuation of some civilians before being attacked by several armed Unitologist gunmen?"

"Yes." Replied Isaac who was beginning to feel nervous as the man in front of him spoke.

What if he suspected something? Fuck… Things weren't looking good. Isaac could lie, but he wasn't a brilliant liar. To make things worse, Isaac didn't have any of his weapons with him now. He was asked to store them outside in a safe before they could begin questioning him and could only retrieve them back after this was over.

"May I know who was your squad mates Mr. Keith?" asked the man.

"Frederick Taylor and Greg Barnes." Isaac quickly replied using names that he remembered when he was searching the gunship for the RIG.

"I see… and what happened after that?"

"We managed to take some of the Unitology bastards down before…" replied Isaac before being cut off by the man.

"Hold on for a second corporal…" the man said as he opened up a video link on his RIG.

Another man could be seen on the video link.

"Sorry to interrupt you captain. But the colonel wants a report on the current situation here on Odyssey ASAP sir." Said the man on the video link.

"Alright, tell him that I'll send it to him shortly. If you mind, I'm kind of busy now."

"Sorry sir, I'll inform the colonel." Replied the man on the video link before it was closed.

Turning back to face Isaac, the man spoke.

"Sorry for the interruption earlier Mr. Keith. But I'm afraid to tell you that I'll have to stop here for now. As you've seen earlier, I'm required to send a report to the colonel. As for you Mr. Keith, you should take a break after all the hell you've been through. I'm sorry we needed to question you first before we could let you go. With Titan Station gone, we've got a lot of people up our ass wanting to know what happened."

"It's alright sir, I understand." Replied Isaac who was actually more than happy to hear that he would be allowed to leave.

"Talk to my secretary outside, she'll brief you everything you need to know. Dismissed soldier."

Isaac nodded before he quickly but calmly made his way outside to the captain's secretary.

"May I help you soldier?" replied the woman.

"Yes, I'm Keith. Keith Johnson, and the captain said that you could help…"

"Ah yes, Corporal Keith Johnson. Your weapons are outside and ready to be picked up if you need them. And here's your key to your temporary quarters corporal. We'll contact you if we need you. And before I forget, here are five thousand credits as part of an assistance program by EarthGov and an access card to help you get around should you need to."

"Thank you." Replied Isaac who was slightly annoyed at being interrupted before quickly picking his weapons, the credit chip and the access card and making his way out of the Lounge Area not before running into Kojo.

Shit. Thought Isaac who didn't want to waste anymore time or attract any attention.

"Hey Keith! Glad to see you here man. Hey, about that free beer. I'll buy you one now on the house."

"Hey Kojo. It's alright, you don't have to. Listen, I'm in a bit of a hurry now. Heard that one of my relatives made it out of Titan Station and are waiting for me. If you don't mind, I'm heading there right now."

"It's cool Keith. Glad to hear that your relative made it out of there alive."

"Yeah. Got to go man. See you around." Replied Isaac before he quickly got out of the Lounge Area and headed into one of the trams.

That was bad, the more he wasted time, the less he had to plan before EarthGov realizes that Keith Johnson was actually Isaac Clarke in disguise. Looking at the time, Isaac noticed it had been two hours since he and Ellie arrived at Odyssey. Ellie… where was she now? Was she alright?

"Hey Isaac! You better not forget about the promise you just made to Ellie. You promised her that you two would face this together. Don't even think about leaving." Isaac's conscience snapped suddenly.

"But she's safe… I don't want to get her harmed." Thought Isaac.

"Safe? Now let's see… Now that you found out that EarthGov can build more Markers like the one you destroyed at Titan Station, what makes you think that she'll be any safer here?" replied his conscience.

"But EarthGov is hunting me down, not to mention crazy insane Unitologist fucks, she won't be any safer around me." Isaac thought back.

"True. That is partly a valid point but listen as I use the word 'partly' you asshole. You know that she would be devastated if you run away now." his conscience snapped back.

Isaac kept quiet for awhile. As much as he wanted Ellie to be safe, he also didn't want Ellie to become broken and sad.

"See, you know I'm right." Smirked his conscience.

"I don't…" Isaac thought back.

"Fine, since you're one persistent asshole, which I have to give you some credit for, why don't you answer this question Isaac. Why do you want to leave Ellie here in Odyssey?"

"Because I don't want to put her in harm's way. And as long as she stays with me, her life would definitely be in danger. I can't bear to lose another… someone else that I care for again…"

"Next question, why are you so hesitant in leaving her then Isaac?"

"Because she'll be devastated… Like when I sent her away to safety in Titan Station… She was sad, broken… I don't want to see her like that. It pains me to… and I know she will be if I leave her… but she'll be safe and that's all that matters."

"But what did she do next even after you sent her away to protect her and to make sure she would be rescued?"

"She came back… and rescued me. Saved my life…"

"Exactly! Can't you see that? She still came back! To save your sorry ass even though you sent her away to protect her!"

"But that…" said Isaac inside his mind before being interrupted by his conscience (irony, getting interrupted by your own conscience)

"She cares about you! She has faith and confidence in you! Can't you see that!? She cares about you and has feelings for you! Running away from her now is going to hurt her more and its going to bring more harm than good!"

"But she's safe!" shouted Isaac inside his mind.

"No she won't be Isaac! And you know why, because if sending her away in the gunship back at Titan Station made her come back risking her life to get you, what makes you think that running away now won't make her do something similar?"

"God dammit! Stop!"

"Isaac, why do you want to keep her safe? Why do you want to make sure that she doesn't become devastated? You and I both know why, but I want to hear it from you."

"Because I care about her! I have feelings for her! It was trust at first, and then we became good friends watching each other's backs, something I haven't had the luxury of having for the past three years. Then I started to develop feelings for Ellie. I started caring for her and became scared as hell every time she was in harm's way."

"That's not just it isn't that right Isaac? There's something else to it. You and I both know that."

"What the hell are you talking about!?"

"Don't deny it!"

"Stop dammit! Shut the fuck up!"

"Say it!"

"I… I…"

"Say it you goddamn motherfucking asshole!"

"I LOVE HER!" Isaac shouted out loud, no longer in his mind, but inside the tram he was in.

Taking several deep breaths as he calmed down, Isaac realized that everyone inside the tram was staring hard at him. Some confused, some scared at the sudden outburst, while most shocked. The passengers close to Isaac started moving away from him slowly before sitting down and staring hard.

"When?" asked his conscience innocently.

"I don't really know… I guess when I first arrived at the government sector after crashing through with a giant drill…" Isaac spoke as softly as a whisper to himself as he sat on the floor with his head down.

After pausing for a few moments, Isaac continued to speak silently to himself.

"I love Ellie like I loved Nicole… Every time she's next to me, I'll calm down knowing that it's Ellie… She's been the one thing keeping me going while I was on Titan Station… Keeping me strong and determined like how Nicole did when I was on the Ishimura… Nicole… Nicole said something about letting Ellie in… But I don't know… if I let Ellie in, I'll forget about Nicole and… I don't know whether I can handle it… Nicole was my everything… I don't know whether I can let Ellie in just yet…"

Isaac noticed that his conscience was no longer saying anything.

"It's not just that. If I leave Ellie now, she'll be safe and though I'll be as devastated as she is, I'll know deep in my heart that she's safe. But if Ellie follows me and something happens to her… I don't know whether I can take it… whether I can stand to lose another person I love…" Isaac continued to speak to himself. Isaac knew one thing, he loved Ellie deeply and genuinely. Every time she gave him that look of faith and confidence... Every time she smiled at him sweetly… Every time he looked at her beautiful face and body… The warmth that coursed through his veins when she gave him that bear crushing hug… but he knew that he wouldn't be able to stand it if he lose her. No, he couldn't. It would crush him. And it would be his fault… He would be guilty for it and no one else…

Before Isaac could do anything further, the tram automated system began speaking.

"Arriving at docking bay. I repeat. Arriving at docking bay. Door's opening." Said the automated computerized voice.

Without saying anything further, Isaac walked out of the tram as he clutched his fists tightly.

"I'm sorry Ellie… I'm so sorry for everything…" Isaac thought as he closed his eyes behind his face visor.

Somewhere at the Odyssey Medical Hospital, Ellie was fast asleep inside one of the rooms, recovering after just finishing the surgery replacing her missing right eye about an hour ago. Though she was sleeping, a tear could be seen trickling down her cheek from each eye as she thought about Isaac…

Author's Notes: Will Isaac escape Odyssey Space Station and leave Ellie behind because he doesn't want to put her in harms way? Or will he keep Ellie's promise and face this together as one? Find out in the next chapter, Chapter 8: Decisions.

Also, special thanks to odalys-ortiz for keeping track with the story so far and for giving me inspiration to writing this fanfic. And thank you to those of you who are keeping track to this story too.