Chapter 7 – Who Stole A Cookie From The Cookie Jar? (or; The Beginning of The AU Arc)

Summary: In which we find out just WHO stole a cookie from the cookie jar and then we torture the guy by plucking his eyebrows. And also, in which the AU-KHR characters are revived and they have invaded our universe.

Disclaimer: Katekyo Hitman Reborn does not belong to me! If it did, a lot of questions would be answered…

A/N: Errrrr! My Internet connection keeps going on and off! Oh well. I'll get my dad to fix the problem. Heheh, this chapter is more or less dedicated to my intense dislike of the watermelon pedo that is Daemon Spade. And also to my pet peeve of whenever someone steals the last snack that I was saving for myself. (Don't you guys hate it when that happens? Incidentally, I'm venting off my rage because my bro stole my chocolate éclair. :/) Oh well. Enjoy the chapter!

"WHO STOLE A COOKIE FROM THE COOKIE JAR?" I epically howled at the general vicinity.

"Not me!" Tsuna squeaked, instantly cowering when I turned my furious gaze on him.

"That was the last cookie!" I yelled, banging my fist on the kitchen counter. "It was supposed to be MY cookie! I even wrote my name on it!"

"Ohohoho." Reborn, dressed in a Sherlock Holmes outfit suddenly popped out. "Then allow me, Sherlock Reborn, to investigate this mystery."

"Good." I growled. "I have a lot of sharp pointy weapons that I need testing on."

~Several moments later~

"Here is the culprit, Lillian." Reborn announced. "Daemon Spade."

"You!" I shrieked/growled. "You bastard! How DARE you eat my cookie! Didn't you see my name on it?"

"Nufufufufu…" Daemon laughed his signature watermelon-pedo laugh. "Do I look like I care?"

True, that. I thought. But I continued with my scolding. "You should at least say sorry! And buy some more cookies!"

"Nufufufufu… No way…" Daemon continued chuckling. "You can go buy your own cookies if you want, I don't really care."

"Then you leave me with no choice." I said dramatically. "Reborn! Summon Jenny and Enma!"

"As you wish, My Lady."

~Another several moments later~

"Talk!" I waved a pretzel at Daemon. "Tell me exactly what happened when you ate my cookie!"

"I'll tell you nothing." Daemon leaned away from the pretzel.

"Enma! Jenny! Tighten those ropes!" I exclaimed, flailing my arms wildly to create a more dramatic effect in the shadows produced by the dim lighting.

"NYUUURRGHHHH." Daemon screeched as the ropes that bound him contracted, leaving only 0.000001 percent of oxygen left in his lungs.

"Not so tight! He still needs to talk!" I shook the pretzel, sprinkling salt crystals everywhere.

The ropes were loosened.

"Now talk." I said, mounting my foot on the edge of the chair that Daemon sat on, to affect a gung-ho pose. "TELL ME WHAT YOU DID TO MY COOKIE."

"I'm not confessing." Daemon sniffed haughtily and turned his head away.

"Then you leave me with no choice." I straightened up and put my foot on the floor. "Enma! Jenny! Execute Plan S.H.A.P.E!"

"SHAPE?" They chorused together, unsure if that was the word they heard of if I was joking.

"S.H.A.P.E stands for Shave Hair And Pluck Eyebrows, sillies! Now go! Prepare the shaver and the tweezers! Oh, and get some make-up too. We really need to cover up that ugly face of Daemon's." I turned to grin at my victim. "Oh, and get my chainsaw. Get my signature torture device- I mean weapon."

"Yes, ma'am!" They said simultaneously.

~Yet another several moments later~ (I'm getting tired of this)

"I'll give you one last chance." I said. "Either you 'fess up, or you'll be forced to… WATCH SESAME STREET RERUNS!"

"NOOOOOOOO!" Daemon screamed, thrashing in his chair. "Have mercy, O great Lillian-sama!"

"Then talk! Or else…" I brandished the shaver and tweezers at him threateningly. Beside me, Enma and Jenny were simultaneously holding the chainsaw.

"Never! And-…" Daemon was cut off as a magical portal had suddenly opened up behind me.

"We're baaaaaaack~!" Hibari sang out, followed by Gokudera, and they were both dressed to kill. Literally. Frills and lace and ruffles and pink ribbons… I nearly went into cardiac arrest then and there.

(Remember them from the last chapter, my dear readers?)

"You!" I exclaimed. "I thought the Author killed you off in the last chapter!"

"Wellll… I guess we survived, ne~?" Hibari and Gokudera caught hands and began dancing around in circles. They began singing "Ring a round the roses, a pocket full of posies, a-tishoo, a-tishoo, we all fall down!" and then they flopped on the ground giggling and squealing, and their skirts flew up, exposing… Oh dear God. It couldn't be panties.

It was. Oh God. My eyes. They had already received eye-rape from Mukuro's moobs (remember?) and now they were experiencing further torture.

"Hello, Lillian." AU-Tsuna, looking as suave as ever, climbed out of the portal nimbly. Coolness fairly exuded from him and he was looking around for someone to flirt with. "Oh~? And here's Enma too~ Hey Enma." Tsuna loped over gracefully to said red-head and Jenny. He placed his fingers under Jenny's chin. "Who's this~?"

"That's Jenny. A recent addition to our ranks." I said sharply, cautioning myself for possible rape-fest.

"Mou~ you sound like some sort of military commander. But ne, Lillian, it wasn't very fun of the Author to blow us up like that~ Especially when you were visiting our universe too~ But since our universe has been blown up, I guess we're moving in with you guys~ Come on out, everyone!" He called behind his shoulder.

A whole assortment of AU-KHR characters suddenly appeared, tumbling out of the portal, straightening up and greeting me, Enma and Jenny. Jenny looked like she was suffering from a hang-over, Enma looked like he was going to have the mother of all cardiac arrests and Daemon just sat there looking, for once, completely freaked out by the situation.

Enma finally hit the cardiac arrest when his AU-version appeared.

"Yo, bro." an AU-Enma appeared and slung an arm around Tsuna's shoulders. "What's up?"

"We are!" Tsuna said with a grin directed in my direction. I paled. This was not good. Because AU-Enma had a teensy blurb with his personality, and that was-

"Lillian~" Enma cooed, walking over to me. "How are you, pretty one?"

Oh, fuck.

"Erm, hello?" Daemon suddenly called out, having been ignored all this while. "Whatever happened to my dramatic monologue over the cookie?"

A/N: Oh, what am I thinking? I just suddenly thought of reviving my insane AU characters from the previous chapters and I just suddenly realized – this could spawn off to become a sort of an arc. The AU Arc! This could get really exciting! Which means we'll need more OCs! Send in your requests peeps! You could have your OC interact either with this universe's KHR character or the AU's version. It's your choice. (But erm, leave off Enma will you? I've got lots of stuff prepared for him between him and my OC, so I'd appreciate it if you guys left him off.) Oh, and I guess I better explain some stuff. You see, in the previous chapter I made it out like my OC could travel to Alternate Universes so that was why you saw my OC interacting with those insane AU peeps. Then my OC returned back to the original universe and continued with life and then all of a sudden the AU peeps popped up in OUR world. Insane, eh? It's just the sort of time-travelling/dimension-travelling thing that drives me nuts. I love this sort of thing.

Reviews~ Come support the new AU Arc!