DISCLAIMER: I USED TO OWN A DOG, BUT I'VE COME TO REALIZE SHE LIKES EVERYONE MORE THAN ME. SO I'VE DISOWNED HER, AND NOW I OWN NOTHING, INCLUDING TWILIGHT.
Monday arrives. Sunday was spent unpacking and then going to work. I decide I do need a fresh start. I want to rebuild myself. I want to be someone deserving of Jazz's love. Deserving of praise.
I make two important changes. I wear a different uniform and I let my hair down. My hair is well taken care of and almost reaches my ass. I sweep my fringe to the side, thankful it's long enough to push behind my ear when it gets annoying. I properly wear the girl's uniform for the first time. The skirt is ten fingers above my knee, probably longer than 90% of the girls' skirts. I wear the white button up long-sleeved shirt with the first two buttons popped, revealing for the first time my ever-present necklace. But I wear my converse. No way am I leaving with ballet flats or some shit like that.
When I look at myself in the mirror, I'm satisfied with what I see. I look like a pretty girl, even without the makeup. I look confident. I'm impressed with how good I look in this uniform. It really is cute. The only thing I'm nervous about is how the boys will react to it.
Will they be disgusted? Will they be impressed positively? Will they not give a damn? Probably the latter.
I drink some orange juice and wash my teeth, knowing I'll eat at Edward's. Aunt Esme had promised me an extra big breakfast today, anyways.
I leave my apartment. There are a few clients, having an early breakfast.
Joe chokes when he sees me through the kitchen's window. I've frequented his diner for the last four years, and this is the first time he sees me in a skirt. It's also the first time I've worn a skirt in ten years. I'm always being told by Tan I have great legs and that I should show them off, so now I am.
Joe's surprise makes me feel strangely triumphant.
I walk to Edward's, like usual. Even though it is a half-hour walk, I have time. And I like walking; it allows me to think.
This morning is different from the most. A few guys cat call. They must not recognize me, because I do. They always hang out there in the morning. They'd never so much as glanced at me.
Now they're definitely paying attention.
When I get to the Edward's, Aunt Esme drops the pancake she was making. Uncle Carlisle drops his coffee on his pristine shirt. I greet them with a devious smile. Then I go up the stairs to Edward's room.
"Wake up sunshine! It's a brand new day, ready to be conquered!" I shake him, just like I always do. He mumbles something about leaving him alone. I blow on his ear.
"FUCK BELLA, I HATE IT WHEN YOU DO THAT!" He bolts up, missing my nose narrowly.
His eyes are open.
His mouth is too.
"Swan? Bella?" He stutters, eyes fighting between my boobs and legs.
"Edward, my eyes have always been on my face." His eyes snap up, blushing.
"Bella... You're hot?"
I feel torn between annoyance and smugness.
"What, you think Jake would've dated an ugly girl?" I scoff, only half kidding. He'd almost seemed relieved when we were having sex and he saw I did have a nice body.
Edward is still staring.
"What brought this on?"
I shrug. Edward catches the movement of my boobs.
Once a pervert, always a pervert.
"After talking with Jazz, I feel like it's time to change. I really let go of Jake. I'm ready to get back out there, find someone new. Better. I'm done wallowing and doing nothing." I clear my throat. "Now, I'll be waiting for you downstairs, just like every other day."
I stomp downstairs, and an eerie silence greets me when I enter the kitchen. Breakfast is laid out for everyone but Tan, who gets in later. Aunt Esme is sitting down to Uncle Carlisle's right, who sits at the head.
I sit to Uncle Carlisle's left, just like always, and dig in to my extra big breakfast.
Uncle Carlisle, sporting a fresh shirt, lowers the newspaper.
Both stare at me.
"I'm dressed like this because I want to. Nobody made me and I'm not wearing makeup again except for occasions such as Halloween. And yes, I will cut my hair today like five fingers because this hair is obnoxiously long." I mumble between swallowing and inserting more food.
"Oh, alright." Aunt Esme sighs. Uncle Carlisle takes up reading again, bored again.
We keep eating in comfortable silence until Edward storms down the stairs.
"Mom! Mom! Did you see Bella? Did you know she had legs? And I can actually tell she has boobs this way!" he plops down next to me.
I roll my eyes.
Aunt Esme isn't amused either.
"Listen, my sparkling son-" yeah, we got her hooked on Twilight. Now she calls Edward that way when she feels he needs a shame-inducing name. "That is enough. This is Bella's choice, and she looks lovely."
Something goes off in her head.
"Oh dear, I hadn't told you how great you looked! I'm sorry, I was thinking of other things. But you do, truly. This look suits you." Aunt Esme smiles warmly, calming a bit of my incoming nerves.
"Thanks, Aunt Esme. It means a lot to me."
When Edward and I take off, he's still staring at me.
"What?"
"Bella, you look like a fucking model." Edward blurts out, surprising me. "Minus the height, of course, but there's nothing to be done about that. But I didn't know your hair was that shiny and that you had such long legs. And seriously, what's with the hair length? Where did you stuff all that and why? It's so straight and smooth and brown..." Edward trails off, touching my hair. I slap his hand away, but it just comes back.
"You do realize the position you've put me in, right? I'm going to have to ward off the whole male population." Edward murmurs, running his fingers through my hair, probably planning how he's going to do it.
"No warding off. I'm trying to be more approachable. If it's because they want to bang me, whatever, because I know I'm not easy or weak and helpless. I just want to expand my circle of friends more. Right?" my voice clearly indicates Edward has to agree or has to agree.
"Ok." Edward is too distracted on my hair, so I let him play with it until we get to school. Then I slap his hand away hard enough to keep it off.
My heart starts pounding when we get to the school's gate. It's always crowded, but it seems to have extra people today.
They all stare at me. Either they recognize me and are shocked or they don't and are wondering who the fuck I am.
We approach the gang.
Jamie and Romeo are facing away from me. Jazz is the one that sees me come, and his jaw drops comically. He slaps Emmett, who's holding Rose, and then he slaps Ben. Ben blinks and punches Jamie, telling him too look back. Romeo does so as well, and now they're all gaping.
Even the ladybug is surprised.
"Bella?" it's Jamie who asks, and I give a smile in return.
"What happened?" Emmett asks as well, to his girlfriend's displeasure. I shrug.
"Someone made me see I needed a fresh start. This is how I'm doing it."
Jazz smiles to himself. He looks like he understands. Of all of them, Jazz was always the one that understood me the most. How lucky.
"Y-You aren't dating Jake again, are you?" Ben stammers.
All eyes turn to me.
"No! Why did you reach that conclusion? I'm never getting back together with Jake, people, get it through your thick heads!" I fume. Everyone relaxes.
"She looks great, but it's still Bella." Jamie sighs in relief. I thwack the back of his head.
Everyone agrees, though. Only the cousins are still staring at me.
Awkward.
"Well, I don't think Ben, Jazz, Romeo or I have seen Bella in a skirt or with her hair down. It looks nice." Emmett offers, making me smile. He might have a girlfriend, but it's obvious he still finds me important enough to speak his mind despite possibly spiting her.
"Thanks."
"Well, I only saw her like that until half of first grade. Come the second semester, she was what we'd known her until today." Jamie says, and Edward agrees with him. "Now that I think about it, why had that begun?"
The bell rings.
I sigh in relief.
"Saved by the bell. See ya bunch in class!"
I walk away fast, ignoring stares and whispers.
Walking up the stairs, I follow the modest girls' example and stick to the walls, unwilling to let anyone see even the shorts I have underneath. I have foresight, which is why I brought them; otherwise, I'd be flashing everyone my Spongebob Squarepants undies.
Walking into math class, Mr. Banner stops me.
"Excuse me miss, are you new?" He takes a good look at my face and leans back, amused. "Ms. Swan, what a pleasant change. I didn't recognize you. I hope this means you'll start behaving in my class?"
I laugh.
"Not a chance."
During lunch, I go up to the rooftop. Romeo is there, waiting for me.
"That's quite a change you made, missy." He points at my outfit. We're lying on the floor, gazing up. The cold is becoming more prominent, but nothing unbearable.
"Yes well, it was the least I could do."
"Dave told me what you said. I just wanted to thank you for not lying to him and saying you didn't want to ruin the friendship." Romeo says. I smile to myself, closing my eyes. He never thanks me for anything, but apparently, this was important enough to.
"I owed Jazz that much. And I really am sorry I can't like him. I know that falling for him would be easy and painless. But at the end of the day, he's not my type."
"I never told you this, but that Jake guy was huge. You really liked such a gangster-looking guy?"
I laugh, finding funny the way he put it.
"He was such a geek and a softie, it was easy to forget his size. You wouldn't believe the amount of nights we'd stay up until dawn just playing a video-game or talking of movies."
I sigh contently, remembering those days.
Plus, his size made for an excellent lover.
I halt my train of thought before I can go into that section of my brain.
"He also told me what you told him. Of your conditions."
Oh.
"Did he tell everyone this morning?"
"Of course. They forgot, of course, when they saw you. But you may expect a total investigation later on."
His silence is charged.
"Talk, damn it."
"Why didn't you tell anyone your mother is an alcoholic, or that you needed financial aid, or that you're getting emancipated? Or of your jobs? I thought everyone knew of the bookstore part-time." It all comes tumbling out.
"It was my business. Not even Edward knew, or his parents or sister. I wanted to deal with everything."
"Can I ask something else?"
"You're going to anyways, so what the heck?"
"Why did you start dressing like a tomboy? The real reason?"
Fuck, I might as well tell him.
"When I was in pre-school, I made friends with a girl called May. The friendship lasted for a year and a half. Halfway through first grade, I found out she back stabbed me. She made friends with the rest of the girls, and cast me aside. I had tomboyish tendencies because of how much I hung out with Edward and his friends. When she finally got swept aside by the girls, she was ignoring me and calling me a tomboy as well. So I saw no reason to be girly anymore, and I started dressing more comfortably to play with the boys. This summer, May transferred to another school. It was like a long torture was over. End of story."
"You should make a film of your life."
I agree.
How very fucked up.
"Do you hate her?"
I think about what he's telling me.
"Part of me does. She reminds me of life before my father left my mother and I. She's always been the 'what if' for me. What if my father hadn't left? What if I had hung out less with boys? What if I got along with girls? It doesn't matter anymore, of course. I'm over what she did, I don't hold grudges for such a long time. She transferred when sophomore year ended, so I don't see her anymore. But if I saw her in the streets, I wouldn't say hi. She wouldn't be my friend again, either. I'd probably stand her just barely. I don't trust May. Even if she was just a kid... I don't trust her."
I remember how much fun we had when we played. She used to have the biggest crush on Edward, too. I encouraged her. I wanted my two most important friends to be together. And Edward liked her, too. He was always bugging her, and he once told me he really liked May. Then she hurt me, and Edward took my side, never glancing twice at her, which only strengthened her insults.
"Well, it's big of you to not completely hate her, even though she obviously left you with a trauma." I open my eyes and find Romeo is looking at the sky.
I take a moment to assess him with the corner of my eye.
He's gotten more handsome. He told me his real hair color is chestnut, not blond. And his eyes always shine brighter under the sun. His piercings give him an edgy look, but because he's now wearing a long sleeve too I can't see his tattoo. He's one of the prettiest men I've ever seen, and truly, even more so than Jake.
Since the start, Romeo has held a special place in my heart. I enjoy talking to him, too. He isn't particularly funny or talkative, mostly asking questions or making short comments. But I never feel the need to fill silences. And his viewpoint of certain things is so interesting and deep I always ask him to elaborate. He's aloof and a troublemaker. He's loyal to a fault and crude if provoked. He's curious, too. Always asking me about gossip, or just general stuff about people. But he's likable, and even Edward has warmed up to him. He likes skipping class and not turning in homework. But he's freaky good at mental math and most of other subjects except biology.
He loves reading, riding his bike and extreme sports. He watches football until his eyes dry up, but he sucks at it, so he goes to the gym for exercise.
What made me respect him as a person was his unending love for his family.
It warms my heart. It makes me wish I felt that way for my mother and father. Makes me wish I had a real sibling. The connection I have with Edward is different than the one he has with Tan. It looks unbeatable.
I look away.
Do I like Riley Paris Marks as something more than a friend? It takes me but a moment to decide that no, I don't. He's a good guy, and likable, but he's not my type. Romeo is too serious, too fleeting, and truthfully, too much of a Romeo. What I feel for him is a close connection. He understands me and is interested in me in a way few men are. He's earned a place in my heart that puts him just below Edward. A bit more important than the gang, but not as important as Edward, the only person I trust more than myself.
Romeo is, for lack of better words, my best friend.
It leaves me wondering where that lives Edward.
By the middle of November, my emancipation has been granted. My mother agreed with my decision, which made it easier. There was enough evidence and motive to make a case. I have an income. The only thing that gave me a slight problem was the suicide attempt, but as part of my reasons I said that the stress of my home life pushed me over the edge, and that ever since I'd been living alone, I had less stress. I was assessed by a psychologist, who found no fault in me. When everything was over, in order not to lose my mother, I promised her to visit once in a while.
Finals two weeks from now, my life has a new routine. No more stressing over money. No more restricting myself if I wanted to have a damn diet coke at school. I also began buying more trinkets for myself; books, ornaments, some nicer clothes.
My male classmates still weren't quite used to my looks. Boys gaped. Girls either glared at me or approached me to give me a compliment. In other words, my self-esteem shot up. Edward still repeated at least once a day he couldn't believe I had legs or boobs. Most boys marveled at my body, fit from moving around a lot and going to the gym whenever I could. Girls loved my hair.
I have to say, I should've done this years ago.
As to my situation with Jazz, things have smoothed over. He still doesn't quite look me in the eye, but he's stopped flinching every time I give him a hug and kiss goodbye. He's also started hanging out with Alice. I did have to speak with her, demanding to know why she hadn't told me Jazz was in love with me and not her. Crying and sniffling, Ali told me she just wanted Jazz to see I didn't love him, to the point of pairing him up. Cruel? Yes. Cold hearted? Maybe. Would I have done the same thing? No, but for most women, desperate times call for desperate needs.
And then there was Romeo.
With my newfound closeness to him, I work harder to find Ms. Invisible for him. He deserves to be happy, and if Ms. Invisible is what it takes, then that's what I'll look into. We visit every place we can think of, search for the friends the girl was with, but all to no avail. He's growing increasingly hopeless, but I try my best to cheer him up. I'll find that girl or die trying.
Anyways, as winter gets nearer, so does the Sadie Hawkins dance.
My nightmare and yet, my favorite dance. Favorite, because I don't feel compelled to ask any boys and ergo, not go to the dance at all. Nightmare, because hanging around Edward or any of the boys is unthinkable because of the hoards of women surrounding them. I'm annoyed lately, because I can't spend much time with Edward. He's normally with the populars during school, but every once in a while he spares me a lunch or something. Yet with all the skanks surrounding him, I can't even sit with him in History class. That is one annoyance I have, and besides that, I can't stand the romantic air floating around the school. I might be readying myself to date again, but that doesn't mean I like all these pheromones around me.
"Ms. Swan, would you care to tell the class about what you're thinking so deeply about?" Mr. Banner slams a book on my desk, startling me and making me jump. The class laughs, making me blush. I'm sitting with Romeo and Jazz is sitting with Edward behind us. Jazz hasn't sat with me since the confession, forcing his cousin instead to sit with me.
I never let it slide, so every morning Jazz does that, I glare for a solid ten minutes.
So far, he's only caught the glare once.
Edward benefits from the arrangement, though, copying from Jazz and escaping the hoards of girls for a while.
"I was thinking that that tie makes you look younger, Mr. Banner. Blue really is your color; it makes your eyes pop." The class laughs, and we all watch as Mr. Banner sputters for a thing to say. He's used to these answers of mine, but ever since my change, his wit has gone down by half.
"Ms. Swan, pay attention to math class. This is not an episode of Fashion Police."
Did I mention Mr. Banner is British? Yeah, his accent and looks really make the ladies sigh.
His accent even gets me.
"No sir. Understood." I salute, and after an irate sigh, Mr. Banner continues the lesson.
"Say Bella, why do you like bothering Mr. Banner so much?" Romeo whispers to me, making sure the teacher is far away enough he can't hear us.
"I dunno. Rigging on him is the highlight of my day. It's like poking the bear, only this one pokes back." I whisper back, hastily doing the problem on the board.
"Could it be that you..." He trails off, giving hints. I stop writing, blink, snort, then keep solving the problem. Well, attempting to anyways.
"Like him? No, he's just cool as a teacher. Please, I might like older guys, but I'm not stupid enough to fall for a teacher." I shake my head, snickering to myself. Seriously. Such guts.
"How much older than you was Jacob Black?"
"Three years. And the guy before him, Alec Müller, was seven years older than me. I dated him sophomore year during the fall, before I met Jake. And before Alec, I dated Mike Newton, ten years older than me, that summer." Romeo's eyes are popped wide open. "What? I never said there was no one before Jake."
Romeo's stunned silence gives me a sense of satisfaction.
The bell rings, and Romeo pesters me with questions during our class change.
"You dated men that old when you were that young? Were they pedophiles or something?" He sounds truly shocked, be it of the age or actual predecessors I don't know.
I laugh.
"God, no. I met Alec working at the restaurant. He was a regular customer and he always gave me an extra tip. I thought he looked like a really nice person, so when he asked me out, I said yes."
"What did he work in?"
I bite my lip, smug.
"Model." Romeo's mouth drops. I know, I surprise myself, too. But what can I say? I can be nice and a flirt. I never claimed to be innocent before Jake, or at all, for that matter. Tomboy doesn't equal celibate.
My dirty little secret? My first had been Alec.
"You dated a model with those grungy looks of yours?" Romeo sounds almost offended by the prospect. I feel offended he's offended.
"For your information, the waitressing uniform shaped my body nicely. That, and he always bought me clothes for our dates, so he made me wear them and made me wear my hair in a high ponytail." I mumble, blushing. Plus, he never had any problems with my grungy looks when we were both sweaty and grungy, I think to myself evilly.
"Why'd you break up?"
For the best mistake in my life.
"I met Jake. Alec and I had been dating for four months. I loved him but I loved Jake more. The end."
Romeo almost trips on nothing. Why is the way to Biology so long?
"Wait, you dated a model and you dumped him?" Romeo shakes his head, shuddering. "What is wrong with this world?"
Truth is, I had loved Alec, in my own way. More so than his heavenly German looks, he had a very kind heart and a wit that rivaled mine. But he wasn't the one for me. Our breakup was amicable, because he knew, too, that our relationship was going nowhere. We had a lot of fun while it lasted (plus lots of sex in lots of places), but Alec wanted more seriousness that I could give him, and he knew he wouldn't find it in me.
"What about the other guy? The one ten years older?"
We go in the class, Romeo sitting beside me as is often normal.
I lick my lips. Damn, they're drying up.
"Oh, Mike? He and I were together for the summer that year. Photographer. I met him when I was buying some things for my camera, and he crashed into me so hard my camera fell and broke. He bought me a new one and asked if I would go on a date with him. He looked younger and I looked older. We hit it off. Then it was over because he had to go back to his regular job in Prague." Romeo feigns getting a heart attack.
"A model and a photographer. What's next, an actor?" he sounds bewildered. "Furthermore, you were fifteen and he was twenty-five! What was he thinking?"
"That I was almost sixteen and cute." I flash Romeo an award-winning smile.
Mike had been nice. Gangly, wind blown blonde hair and the cutest dimple. His sense of humor made me cry a few times and his height was very alluring. His fashion sense was very cool; he wore hipster glasses, jeans, converse, a funny shirt and a checkered button-down over it, sleeves rolled up and buttons popped.
Plus, he knew the best places for a date. Most of them had been out in the open, and some of the sunsets I saw with him were unforgettable.
Romeo is looking at me like I grew a second head.
"Both rich and famous?"
I nod hesitantly. Both were in high demand. Mike also photographed models.
"Neither geeks or stupid?" I shake my head no.
"And what was so special about Jacob Black, then? That guy had been huge and geeky." Romeo is entering the step before hysteria.
Following the same outline I've been describing my exes in, I tell him.
"I met Jake when I was visiting Ben. They were playing videogames. We started rigging on Ben together. We went home at the same time, and his house was in the same direction as Edward's, so he walked me. Before I realized it, I wanted to see him again. It took a day before he'd gotten my cell from Ben and asked me out, then three to convince me to go on a date with him, and a week to get me to break up with Alec. Two weeks after that, we went on out first date. The rest is history." Almost everyone has arrived, but the teacher is always late, so we have another five minutes.
"What is he studying?"
I wiggle my eyebrows.
"Law."
I swear, Romeo looks like he's considering imitating the painting of The Scream.
"So you've dated a model, a professional photographer and a lawyer-to-be. Meanwhile, my first and only girlfriend in sixth grade lasted for a week and she traded me for a nose-bleeding kid. Are you a man-eater or something?"
I think he should start watching his words.
I roll my eyes.
"It's called charisma, Romeo. Some of us are born with it. And they were men looking for a woman without the petty jealousy and gold digging involved. I so happened to not care for their money and inheritance. They liked lavishing me, but not once did I ask for anything, and I had my limits. Alec bought me a car once, and I made him take it back."
The fury (at myself for not accepting and at him) I felt with Alec when I saw the blue Porsche almost made me cry.
Romeo's jaw is agape.
I close it, rolling my eyes again.
"Some men aren't so vain and look for happiness before external beauty. You should try it, you know? Liking someone for who they are and not who they seem to be."
It's the first time I've made a comment regarding his choice of love. He believes in the shell. For me, it was just a coincidence those guys had money and looks. And when my relationship with them had been over, I returned everything I'd ever gotten from them (although I did keep the lingerie Alec bought me, some pictures Mike gave me and a stuffed bear Jake won for me at a carnival). Returning heels, clothes, jewelry and other trinkets had been hard, but it wasn't mine anymore. And they left me, knowing they'd found someone who really hadn't cared for their money. Jake's stuff I'd torched.
Except this really awesome sweatshirt, but no biggie.
"Love at first sight isn't vain. It's just like a very heavy first impression."
Smooth.
"And how come none of the guys ever mention those two before Jake?" I start flushing, trying to look elsewhere. "Bella?"
"I might've never told them. I mentioned going on dates, but not exactly that I was in a relationship with my date." I smile angelically.
Romeo is dumbfounded.
"So this Jake guy, he really was that much better than a model and photographer?"
I smile.
"Nope. Not as funny, romantic or positive as Mike. Nor was he as handsome, kind or rich as Alec." Romeo looks like he understands less and less.
"So why him?"
"Real love feels different from infatuation or simple attraction. Strengths are highlighted and so are faults. But you love those faults. You accept them because they're a part of the person you love. And let me tell you, no one understood me like Jake, cooked as well as Jake, treated me as adoringly as Jake, interested me like Jake, warmed me like Jake or loved me like Jake. The heart is a curious thing." I shrug, opening my book where we left off, giving the teacher a minute before getting here.
"Are you telling me that what I feel for Ms. Invisible is fake?" Romeo doesn't sound angry, but he does sound hurt.
"Never. I know what you feel for her is very real and very sweet." I tell him honestly, truly meaning every word. "I just think that love isn't blind. Infatuation is. You could grow to love her, if you meet her again. But don't close your mind to finding love elsewhere just because you were too fixated on a woman whose name you don't even know."
Romeo frowns, opening his textbook too.
I bite my lip, hoping I didn't say too much.
I really don't think it's healthy for him to hang onto a woman that could turn out to be the devil herself.
Biology class passes in painful silence.
Today is a Tuesday, so I have to go to the bookstore. Being there, Romeo comes in an hour before my shift is over.
"I've been thinking about what you said." Is the first thing he says. I keep ringing up the sixty-year-old man, pretending I don't know what 50 Shades of Gray is about. The nerve.
"About what? If it's about the food thing during lunch, I'm glad you finally gave it some thought to buying a tortilla and slathering it with melted butter, lemon and salt. If the tortilla is freshly made, even better. Oh, and don't do it with the wheat ones either, it has to be corn."
Romeo's face tells me he is not amused.
"Dully noted." I bob my head, as if I thought my advice was being appreciated. I mean, it's great advice, but probably not the one he wants. "But it's not about that. It's about Ms. Invisible."
I wait, sitting back on my stool. It's a bit more crowded today, but it's no Books-A-Million.
"What about her? You found her?"
He shakes his head slowly.
"Not her, but one of her friends. Her uniform is of our high school. I'm planning on searching for her tomorrow." Oh, well. "But it's not about that."
How odd, I thought he would've been ecstatic with these news. Our first lead.
I furrow my brow.
"You're right. I can't dismiss the possibility that this love is all in my head. I should try going out a bit. Meet some girls."
I don't like where this is going.
"Good... So what's the problem?"
It's obvious he has one.
He proceeds with caution.
"You've been working hard these few months getting me acquainted with the class and making friends of enemies. I've improved, but nobody approaches me easily because they think I'm scary." Who blames them? Sometimes, I think so too. "So I've hatched a plan."
I'm waiting, Romeo.
"I want you to go with me to Sadie Hawkins."
Hold it. It's like that moment where the vinyl screeches and the party's music stops abruptly.
Is he fucking with me?
"No." I reply smoothly, despite the turmoil that is my head. I don't get his plan. I really don't. And I hate dances.
"Come on, Swan, hear me out. I take you to the dance. Guys think I'm the luckiest bastard in the grade. Girls realize I'm approachable and that, furthermore, Edward likes me enough to let me go with you. Everyone realizes you don't hold a grudge about the start. Besides that, I don't have to accept some random girl's invite and you get to go with a friend. Piece of cake, right?"
Romeo's eyes are all round and pleading, making me feel like I killed Bambi's mother.
"The plan is great, except for one tiny little problem. I don't go to dances. Never have and never will. End of story."
"But everyone is going. Jazz with Ali, Emmett with Rose, Edward with the current most popular girl in the grade, Ben with his newly-acquired girlfriend Angela and Jamie with the second most popular girl in the grade. Don't you want to go too?" His puppy eyes are killing me.
"No, I don't. Give me one good reason for going with you. One that benefits me."
"I'll spike the punch."
"I don't drink, dumbass."
"You'll wear a dress."
"That's what I'm worried about."
"You might meet the guy of your dreams."
"He wouldn't be caught dead in a dance like this."
"The DJ is super awesome."
"Super awesome isn't a convincing adjective."
"You'll get to rub it in Jessica's face she didn't go to the ball with Edward, and that you look better in a dress than her."
"I'm in."
Romeo snorts, probably wondering why he didn't say it from the start. I might forgive her, but I never claimed to not be childish.
Romeo sighs, leaning against the counter.
"Bella, do you miss Jake, Alec or Mike?"
The successive names make me feel a bit slutty.
Irrational but true. I only had sex with two of them, and I'd loved the two.
"What's with the melancholic mood? Jesus Romeo, if I wanted to feel so down I'd call my mother and ask her to tell me again how my father left us." I roll my eyes. I start ringing up the lady that just got here. "But yes, I do miss them. Just like you would miss a friend you haven't seen in a long time."
Romeo stays silent as I finish ringing up the lady and sending her on her way.
"Did you love Mike or Alec?"
I consider it.
"In my own way, yes. My relationship with Mike wasn't as intense as with Alec, just like my relationship with him wasn't as intense as with Jake. Love isn't like a scale, Romeo. You can't measure it. You might love your father and mother, but your love for each is different. You will never experience the same love twice. Just as you can't compare them, either."
Romeo takes it in, thinking.
"Why the sudden questions on my love life? I get it, you love sticking your nose in my private matters, but what about them?" I fiddle with the pencil lying on top of my unfinished homework.
"I just think it's great you've been able to love such different people. I think it's great you've had such happy relationships not once but three times. You're lucky."
For most people, a relationship that ends in an attempted suicide isn't truly lucky, but I see where he's going.
I really did have a great time with those three.
"I really am, Romeo. Few people find love at all." I bid goodbye to the lady, then give my full attention to Romeo. "I want to take your brother somewhere."
Romeo raises an eyebrow.
I explain.
"You told me that Max is a huge fan of cars, right? So I want to take him somewhere, if that's alright with you. Alissa is invited, of course, but you told me she doesn't share that love." I found a really cool place last week, and I remembered what Romeo had said, so I've been excited, thinking of taking them there.
Romeo frowns.
"You remember?"
I roll my eyes.
"Duh. You said Max is a fan of all sorts of cars, and that Ali loves comics, right? By the way, tell her I have a whole bunch of manga if she ever feels like it."
"Don't take this the wrong way, but why do you care?"
Now I frown, not understanding his word choice.
"Why shouldn't I? They're important to you, aren't they? I also know Jazz's sister's favorite boy band, so I always try to find her merchandise. Edward's sister is obsessed with antique trinkets, so I always find her places to go to. Emmett's big brother is a soccer fanatic, so if I find something from his team, I buy it. Ben's mother loves Indian food, so if I find a restaurant I send her the address. Jamie's dad and brother are always trying to find new beer, so if I find an odd brand, I tell Jamie. It's only logical for me to care about your siblings. You're important to me and they're important to you. Simple."
Romeo blinks.
"I had no idea you were this kind." I flush, shaking my head.
"It's the one useful thing I learnt from my father. He always told me: 'Bella, your friends are VIP. Therefore, anyone related to them is too. Treat them like so'. It just stuck." I shrug, remembering the countless times my father said it.
Romeo's eyes soften and he gives me a soft smile.
"You really loved your father, didn't you? Haven't you seen him ever since he left?"
My eyes harden.
"No, and I hope I never do. I'll treasure the memories I have of him, but no more. He's dead to me."
I have daddy issues, you could say.
"Haven't you thought maybe he had a good reason for leaving?"
What? Of course not.
"Romeo, while I appreciate your interest in my life, my father is a sensitive subject. More along the lines of taboo than sensitive. Get it?" I snap, sick of him even thinking of taking my father's side. Romeo raises his hands in the classical way of 'don't kill the messenger'.
"I'll bring Max at the end of your shift on Thursday. Sound good?"
I nod.
Romeo starts leaving.
"So, we're on for Sadie Hawkins, right?"
I groan, roll my eyes and scratch my nose with a special finger.
"Yeah, yeah. Next Friday, right? I'll let you know my dress color."
We say goodbye.
Back at Edward's house, I'm lying around in Tan's room. She's brushing my hair, claiming it needs loving every once in a while.
I wait until her hands aren't in my hair before announcing the news.
"Tan, I'm going to Sadie Hawkins with Romeo and I need help finding a dress." I rush out.
Tan's ear splitting scream makes everyone in the house barge into the room, ready to ward off a possible murderer.
"Tanya Esme Cullen, what in the world is this racket!" Uncle Carlisle is furious his game was interrupted.
Tan, amidst screeches, informs her family members of my situation.
Aunt Esme screeches just as hard.
Uncle Carlisle huffs and goes back to the TV.
Edward rages.
"What in the world is this, Bella? Romeo? The hell?"
Patiently, I explain Romeo's logic.
Edward calms down, though I can see he's still not pleased.
Boy, maybe I should've said that first.
"Bella, don't make plans this Friday. You, Tan and I are going shopping!" Aunt Esme squeals, Tan joins, and I groan.
Please kill me.
So... Thoughts? Likes? Follows? Yes please :) As you can see, I tried hurrying it up with the next posting spree, especially when I started getting more notifications of people who liked my story. So to anyone who's following this story, thanks. On another note, what didya think about the chapter? So, obviously Bella's had her share of experience before Jacob Black. And no, they're never ever getting back together. And, let me reassure you once more... this is an E/B story. However, just think about it. How likely is it that the first boy you ever go out with is The One? I mean, if that's your story, that's awesome. But for instance my mom married her first boyfriend, but that didn't mean she was his first, or that she hadn't dated first. Sometimes, to know what we like, we need to find out what we don't like, first. Rant, over.
Leah.