Chapter 6: The Little Mermaid
She strove with all her might through the pain for the one she loved even if in the end, it all came to naught.
Shinichi woke slowly the next morning, feeling strangely reluctant to pull himself away from his sleep.
He lay there in a daze, relishing the warmth of his covers and the softness of his bedding for a while before beginning to doze off again but a chuckle and a firm shake had him groggily awake again.
"Oh no you don't. Come on, get up. We have a full day ahead of us," Kaito told him in a voice way too bright for morning. How was it even possible for him to be awake already when Shinichi had fallen asleep ahead of him?
Shinichi wanted to tell Kaito to go away but then his nose picked up the smell of coffee which made him sort of forgive his friend for being such a morning person.
He slowly sat up and rubbed his eyes, yawning widely.
Remembering the performance last night, he felt a twinge of embarrassment but mostly warm happiness and it put a smile on his face.
"That's what I like to see in the morning! A smile to greet the lovely day!" Kaito enthused.
Shinichi groaned, rolling his eyes.
Today was going to be busy.
The easiest way to get information on these symbols would be to find someone who was familiar with them. Although Mixed Sorcery was banned in Kuroba, that didn't mean there weren't people who researched it underground. A vast majority were caught and imprisoned in Caprinius, which was its own domain outside of Kuroba's rule, but that didn't mean there was no attempted sorcery in the kingdom's past, though rare.
After Shinichi was done washing his face, cleaning his teeth, combing his hair, changing ("NO, Kaito! I don't need your help!"), and eating breakfast, he wrote a missive to the Royal Investigators about the circle and instructions to check the areas at the city outskirts.
Once that was done, they headed to Eden Hall where the Imperial Archives were housed to try to find what they could in the existing records to save them the trouble of having to start from scratch.
If they turned up with nothing, they'll have no choice but to do research and try to decipher this on their own. Luckily, Saguru should be returning any time today.
The Imperial Archives, which was meticulously kept, organized, and strictly supervised by the Royal Intelligence, required express permission from either a member of the royal family or Saguru before anyone could access the more confidential areas.
Having the crowned prince in accompaniment certainly counted as permission and they were let through without fuss.
Their footsteps echoed hollowly in the huge room as they plodded their way between the polished shelves.
They managed to find the relevant section and they began taking down all the files and volumes after which, they went to the nearest table and began.
Mixed Sorcery was like learning a new language but since they only had a piece of the whole thing, it was more like deciphering a code. Right now, they'll start with the vocabulary. If they couldn't find that, then they'll have to try to feel for the rules.
They spent two hours going through the records. Among them, there were, indeed copies of the symbols of Mixed Sorcery found among the offenders' possessions.
They didn't seem to quite match the ones in their circle, though. For one thing, none of them seemed to use symbols as ancient as theirs and for another thing, the past Mixed Sorcery attempts seemed a little less… refined. It was like comparing the differences in texture between bark and glass.
Still, they managed to find two symbols which bore a strong resemblance to each other. One of them appeared to have something to do with life while the other was a conjunction of some kind.
It wasn't much but it was a start.
They couldn't really find anything else and once they were certain they've picked everything clean, they moved on to the library.
"I guess that means feeling our way through with our own research," Kaito sighed woefully.
From here, they'll need to put their heads together. While Shinichi was well-versed in alchemy, he only had a passing familiarity with magic due to the fact that magical cases simply didn't pop up in the city. Similarly, Kaito could recite the seventy-two tenets of Arbinger's Law of Magical Conservation in his sleep but he only had a limited knowledge of alchemy. Neither of them knew much about sorcery.
They knew the basics of it though. Similar to alchemy, sorcery mainly used symbols and circles. The alchemic parts provided the basic structure of a sign's purpose and helped guide the specifications made by magic to improve infallibility.
If they were ever going to understand the new language, however, they needed to try to feel for its rules. To do that, they'll need to figure out which magical and alchemical rule would mesh and which ones would violently reject each other and try to find out how the circle might work around it.
For that, the Imperial Library was a good place to do such research. It was a grand, voluminous place that Shinichi almost revered in the sheer amount of knowledge held within it from all corners of the world. It had three floors and it was the biggest collection of books in the entire kingdom. Many a childhood exploit had involved the Imperial Library including one memorable time when Kaito had built a gigantic book jungle complete with moving book animals.
With the help of magic, they gathered the materials they needed on the second floor and got to it. What one didn't understand, the other explained and together, they slowly worked through the mechanisms of sorcery.
They spent several more hours on it before Saguru found them, ducking a book as it magically went whizzing to reshelf itself.
"You called?" he asked sourly, a white feather stuck in his hair and expression vexed. He had only just returned from an excursion he had expected to last for months only to be told to come back because the search was apparently whimsically dropped merely a day in. He was not happy about having to see Kaito so soon.
"Sorry, Saguru," Shinichi offered apologetically. "I know you'd rather rest after having just come back but you know the case you marked for me when you left?"
Saguru took a seat one of the two empty armchairs and nodded. "Yes, what about it?"
Shinichi gave him the short of what they've discovered in the short period he'd been gone by the end of which, Saguru bore a thoughtful look.
"May I see this circle?"
Shinichi obliged and gave it to him.
Saguru examined it for several minutes, memorizing it before handing it back.
"I could try to see if I could find anything on this but it will be difficult. Out of all the subjects that are no doubt illegally researched, Mixed Sorcery is the one most shrouded in darkness."
"Thanks, Saguru."
"It is no problem. If there is nothing else, I will take my leave," Saguru said politely but a bit impatiently before promptly doing just that.
"Tell Aoko I said hi!" Kaito called after him, sniggering when the lines of Saguru's body stiffened.
"The last thing Aoko would want is to hear from you," Shinichi mumbled, flipping a page.
"Hakuba isn't going to deliver my greeting anyway," Kaito shrugged. "Shin-chan, we've been at this for hours. Why don't we take a break? At least to get lunch?" he proposed, stretching and letting out a yawn.
Shinichi glanced at their work, worried.
They were still so far away from really finding anything out and this was something huge.
"Shin-chan, we won't be the only ones who're going to be working on this," Kaito said, knowing what was on Shinichi's mind. "By now, we've got the Royal Intelligence, Investigators, and Army on this case. Even dad won't be able to just leave this to us. Come on, it'll be fine to catch a break."
Still a bit hesitant, he reluctantly allowed Kaito to pull him gently out of the library, through the vast hallways, into the smaller corridors, and out one of the side entrances to the garden beyond.
Birdsong filled the air and the pleasant breeze carrying the musk of dank earth kept the noon sun from bearing down too intolerably.
The neat flora engulfed them into their earthly lull with their colorful early blooms nurtured by both the hands of spring and careful human attention.
"We're having lunch out here?" Shinichi asked though he knew the answer already.
"Of course," Kaito chirruped, leading him off the stone path. "Spending a little time outside never hurt anyone."
"I never thought it would hurt anyone."
"But with the way you behave, you might as well," Kaito grinned.
They bantered back and forth until the prince stopped at a space where the trees and bushes covered them from sight. All along the edges grew indigo irises, swaying gently in waves almost like a deep, colored tide. Here, it was like their own little piece of paradise where nothing could touch.
Kaito held up his hands poised as though he were holding a sheet and he flicked.
Between one blink and the next, a white sheet appeared out of thin air, fluttering to cover the soft grass. He then whistled and a dove flew obediently from one of the trees to perch on his hand whereupon he closed his hands over it before moving them apart again to reveal a picnic basket that grew the further he moved them away.
"Since it's been a while since we've had a picnic, I thought today would be a great day to do just that," Kaito explained cheerily as he set the basket down and started rifling through it for plates, cups, and eating utensils.
Shinichi sank down to sit as well and watched as Kaito took out containers of food.
His brain was still whirling with the information from their research and he couldn't stop thinking about them, piecing them together like puzzles and then discarding them when they didn't fit together only to repeat the same process again in a continuous loop.
"Shin-chan, this is a strictly no-thinking zone!" Kaito said disapprovingly, handing him a plate and fork.
"If I weren't thinking, I'd be dead," Shinichi intoned, taking the plate and allowing Kaito to put some pasta chicken salad onto it.
"But taking a break from thinking won't kill you," Kaito returned. "We haven't really taken the time to relax a bit ever since the Clover Ball."
"You brought that on yourself," Shinichi reminded, taking a bite, "and skimping out on your own work to hang around me isn't going to make the load any smaller."
"I'll have you know that I could finish everything in no time at all," Kaito sniffed, pouring some tea for them both. "Can we stop talking about work now? It makes my head hurt just thinking about it."
Shinichi smiled and their tunnel of conversation wound from the interesting new trick Kaito was trying to perfect to a joking dispute over which was better, pie or cake, when they finally made it to dessert.
It was a bit nostalgic of the times they used to explore the vast gardens together, holing themselves up in some discreet corner where they would have lunch and not returning until late at night from either watching the stars or catching fireflies.
When they went back inside, Shinichi felt a slight pull on his heart as though a thread connected it with the bright, vibrant garden and the door was the pulley that tightened it as it closed behind him.
He'll miss this, he realized. He'll miss a lot of things but starting tomorrow, he wouldn't even know how to miss them.
He'd no longer know the excitement of pursuing a case or the triumph of solving it.
He wouldn't know to be fond when he was with Ran.
He would forget the gratitude and the sense of brotherhood he had with Heiji for his undying loyalty and support.
The companionable nights Saguru and he spent bent over research would no longer give peace.
And the feeling of wanting to hold onto Kaito's hand and never let go, he too, would no longer understand the significance of.
It was so empty.
"Shinichi?"
Kaito's voice broke him from lingering too far into the sudden void that opened in his chest.
"What?"
Kaito was giving him a funny look and Shinichi tried for a smile.
"What?" he repeated.
"… Nothing," Kaito said in the end.
Shinichi wondered what Kaito had seen on his face but he couldn't think on it. There was a code that demanded his attention and skills before him and he couldn't lose focus.
Still, he thought in distress, how were his friends and Kaito going to react when tomorrow came and Shinichi was no longer the Shinichi they knew? Even if he tried to bury the fact in this case, it didn't change the fact that this was essentially his last day in the world.
Suddenly, it felt like there were a million things he needed to do and he wondered wryly if this was what dying people felt like.
He glanced at Kaito from the corner of his eyes and felt a wash of regret tinged with sadness.
This wasn't how he wanted things to end.
They returned to their spots in the library and resumed work but Shinichi had to struggle to keep his head in it, something that rarely ever happened except for the times when he truly couldn't bury himself in work to drown his biggest problems.
"Shinichi, maybe we should stop here for today," came Kaito's abrupt suggestion several hours later.
Shinichi instantly whipped up from his book, mouth opening almost automatically to protest but before he could say anything, Kaito continued, "You're distracted and you're never distracted from work unless something was really wrong."
The prince set aside his own book, the floating pen taking notes for him also setting itself down as he gave Shinichi his full attention.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
How should he answer? How could he answer? It was as though a splinter was stuck in his heart and with every beat, a persistent worry seemed to leak steadily from it. He felt so squeezed for time.
"It's not something I can talk about," Shinichi eventually decided to answer.
Kaito nodded calmly and Shinichi was selfishly grateful for it. He felt cornered enough already without having someone else's concern pressing him further against the wall, compelling him to rip out barbed half-truths and half-lies from his throat.
Make no mistake, Kaito was concerned but he knew enough about Shinichi to know that this was not the time to be pressing him and so, he hid it, something for which he was equally grateful and guilty for.
"Is there something I can do to help?" Kaito continued to soothe but Shinichi shook his head.
"No…" Shinichi muttered, looking down at his hands folded on top of the pages. He took a breath and looked back up. "Kaito…" He hesitated but he forced it down. He needed to know at least this before it was too late. "Kaito, if I told you I lied to you in a very big way… what would you do?"
Kaito tilted his head, surveying him with a gentle look in his eyes. "I'd forgive you because you're Shinichi and you never do things without a good reason."
"But I lied to you," Shinichi persisted. "I broke your trust…"
Kaito smiled, a gentle arc of his mouth. "Shinichi, even if you've done something horrible enough that you completely and utterly broke my trust, I'd still never abandon you. As long as we're both willing to work through it together, I'd definitely come to forgive you."
"But what if it's something you'll have to bear for the rest of your life and every time you see me is a reminder of it and what it used to be like before?" Shinichi asked quietly.
"There's no hurt that won't go away, there's no day where it always rains," Kaito hummed. "I said it before and I'll say it again: I'll never abandon you, Shinichi. I'll bear the pain because it's the proof that you meant something important to me and I'll do everything in my power to make things right again."
The sincerity in Kaito's voice struck deep within him, sending a well of warmth but also a sense of worry.
If Kaito knew about Akako, he would go after her and he could get seriously hurt, though not necessarily in a physical sense. What if he made a deal for Shinichi?
The question stuck to his mind uncomfortably.
They sat in silence for a while before Kaito shifted, drawing Shinichi's attention back on him.
Kaito smiled. "I think I've had enough for today. Research is so boring."
"Y-yeah," Shinichi agreed dumbly to Kaito's out as the prince stood up and stretched.
"Do you want to stay here a little longer?"
Shinichi shook his head. "There's some things I want to do."
"Okay then. I guess I'll go do some of my own work," he sighed, flicking a hand to have all books return to their proper places in the library and to have their notes tidy themselves up.
He held out a hand palm-up where the papers fluttered like white birds before vanishing them into thin air. "I'll keep hold of them."
"Thanks," Shinichi said, standing up as well to follow Kaito out the library.
They walked together all the way to the front entrance before the prince turned to him and said, "And I guess this is where we'll part for now. If you need me, you know where to find me."
Shinichi nodded and with a good-bye, he left.
The sun was sinking steadily from its high seat in heaven into twilight with the remaining glow of farewell-orange making its last illumination on the encroaching navy.
There was someone he wanted to visit.
o-0-O-0-o
"Shinichi! What a surprise to see you!" Ran exclaimed, the joy upon seeing him evident by the wide grin she sported.
Shinichi smiled. "Hi, Ran. I was around so I thought I'd drop by."
In the background, he could hear Kogoro giving a scoff and Ran turned her head to shoot a glare at her father before giving an apologetic look at Shinichi.
From inside, the aroma of food wafted out delicious enough to make any passing mouth water and Ran ushered him inside.
"You're just in time for dinner. Why don't you eat with us? I'm sure dad won't mind if we have a guest. Right, dad?" Ran asked pointedly, hands on her hips.
Kogoro's response was another scoff and an evil eye in Shinichi's direction, which was expertly ignored as the young noble was seated.
He could tell the man had been drinking again, not that that was very surprising. With so little patronage to his private investigation business for people who didn't want to bring their problems to the Royal Investigators, it probably didn't make much of a difference anyway.
"Why do we have to accommodate a brat like him?" Kogoro muttered as Ran began to put the food down in front of them.
"Dad," Ran stressed, sitting down herself. "Shinichi's an important friend of mine and he's helped you on your cases before, hadn't he?"
"Hmph! More like stole all my clients!" Kogoro huffed angrily.
Ran began to bicker with her father with Shinichi throwing in the occasional quips he couldn't help make, which caused Ran to shoot him annoyed looks and berate him as well in addition to Kogoro's indignant spluttered retorts.
They talked about each other's work, exchanging news about their friends, and sharing a good laugh at a funny story. Even Kogoro participated a bit sometimes before Shinichi's inherent sarcastic nature surfaced and devolved the whole conversation into another furious round of bickering.
It was warm and familiar, like sitting with a real family around him. It was like coming home and it never failed to fill Shinichi's heart.
The warmth was still there when he walked home a few hours later when night had well and truly fallen.
He hoped he left that same warmth in Ran's heart.
There was just one last thing he needed to do.
Once he had returned to his mansion, he headed straight for his room and shut the door quietly behind his back before walking to his desk and sitting down, turning his desk lamp on and drawing out a blank sheet of paper and a pen.
Dear Kaito, he wrote but then his head became strangely blank of what to write after that.
He stared at it for a long time, struggling for the words.
His skills were in deduction, not poetic diction. He didn't know how he could convey his tangle of emotions, the fear and sadness but also the happiness and love, or how he could express his apologies. He didn't know how he could get Kaito to understand him, especially when he wouldn't even know him come the next day.
But Kaito had always understood him.
All he needed to do, and all he had ever done, really, was to speak and Kaito would hear the real words underneath them. He had faith that something in Kaito would know even if his mind no longer did.
Shinichi picked up the pen and wrote.
When he finished, he folded it carefully into perfect thirds, slid it into an envelope, wrote the intended recipient's name on the back, and sealed it in blue wax with the Kudou crest.
He left it on the desk and stood up, taking a deep breath and said into the empty air, "Koizumi, you're there, aren't you?"
There was a brief second in which everything seemed to hold its breath before…
"I'm right here," Akako answered from a whirl of darkened colors in the mostly shadowed room to reveal her sitting once more at the foot of his bed. "I must admit, I haven't expected you to call me."
"I didn't expect it either," Shinichi muttered.
"So, what did you call me for?"
"I have just one thing I want to ask you," Shinichi replied with an even look.
"Alright, but I get to ask you one in return," Akako agreed mildly.
"Fair enough," Shinichi nodded. "I want to know if you know anything about the sorcerers in the city."
Akako's eyes narrowed and for a moment, her expression flashed into one of distaste before smoothing back into her placid façade.
"I am not one of them if that is what you're wondering," she told him. "Tell me, do you know why my sisters and cousins rarely set foot upon this city?"
"Kaito mentioned that this is sacred ground for magic-users," Shinichi replied slowly, listening closely.
"Yes and it is sacred because the land on which your capital stands upon exudes an energy of its own and we, as beings born from that energy, respect it as its own entity. But there would be those who would desecrate it anyway."
So the land Eden stood on actually had a reservoir of energy hidden in it? That might explain why these sorcerers have moved here.
But if Akako wasn't one of them, then what was her purpose for coming here?
"Now it is my turn," Akako continued, interrupting his thoughts.
An unfathomable light entered her eyes and it somehow made her appear colder.
"You didn't try. Why?"
It wasn't quite an accusation but it was close.
"You ask me why but from the start, this was impossible for me," Shinichi sighed, letting out a soft breath of resigned air. "Kaito feels whatever he feels about me. I can't force him to fall in love with me, and especially not over the span of five, six days, if it's not there."
For some reason, Akako's countenance had only grown stonier at his words.
"I see," she simply said, sounding terse. "Then if there is nothing else, I will leave, but I will be back the next day at the exact time we agreed on this deal."
"Wait," Shinichi found himself blurting out before he could stop, his mind whirring with an earlier worry.
Akako remained, posture poised, and waited.
Shinichi hesitated before asking slowly, "What… would it cost me to erase people's memories of me?"
Jeweled scarlets sharpened, a dim but clear spot of wine-red reflected radiance from the shadow of the room.
"Interesting. Would you really do that?" Akako remarked, the question somehow managing to sound piercing.
His entire body screamed at him not to go through with it, to turn back. The thought that Kaito would forget him was agony but he knew that should he ever find out Akako was behind everything, he would never rest until he got Shinichi's heart back, no matter the cost. Never. He would chase her to the ends of the world if he had to.
Shinichi was standing on the edge of a precipice and he didn't know which way to face.
"It depends on what memories you want to have erased and whom you want them erased from but if you really wish for it, then I wouldn't mind granting it," Akako continued.
"Just two people. Kaito and Ran."
"They are significant people to you and you are significant to them. It'll cost you your own most precious memories. Are you sure you want to continue?"
He had nothing to lose. Between the possibility of Kaito in pain and trying to recklessly regain his heart and Kaito being able to live normally, there was no contest.
"I'll bear the pain because it's the evidence that you meant something important to me."
Shinichi clenched his eyes shut tightly.
I thought so too, Kaito, but even still, look where it's brought me now.
"I…"
I'm sorry, but your whole life is a long time to be carrying pain. Even a year is too much.
"I agree."
He fell.