Chapter Six
Pictures of the two murder victims were on display in the squad room, and as I had done hundreds of times before, I stood a few feet away, brainstorming.
"Alice Martinez, 27, and our first victim, Pamela Brice, 31. Different ethnicities, different occupations, living on different ends of the city. But in all probability, they were murdered by the same person."
"Okay. What, or whom, could these ladies have had in common?"
There are some profilers, forensic pathologists, and crime writers who believe that the dead can speak; that even though they are gone they continue to tell the story of the atrocities that befell them in life. I have never liked this turn of phrase. I have always preferred to think of the dead as free, and that when we avenge a person's death, we do it for the living, and for the greater concept of justice. The dead don't speak, because they no longer need to remember.
But as I gazed at the victims' bodies I wondered if I had only been telling myself a pretty story. Can the dead truly rest if their attackers are never brought to justice? Or do they remain, caught somewhere between life and death, trapped in bodies drained of all energy but unable to really depart, to escape that cold metal slab and the prying eyes of the medical examiner, of lawyers, of detectives?
If Lewis had shot me in the head while I was handcuffed, and I had died, would I have rested? Would my eyes have remained open, and amazed, like Pamela's?
I could feel myself retreating into a cold, dark place, and instinctively I knew that in a moment someone would touch my shoulder, and say Liv, or Olivia, are you all right, where did you go, did you hear what I said. I couldn't let it happen again, not like this, day after day.
Somehow I found myself straightening my shoulders, and nodding in Cragen's direction as if I had been following the entire conversation.
"What do you think, Liv?"
"I think," I said slowly, steadying my voice in an act of will, "that we should find out if the second victim was also getting a divorce."