I own no one but my own people

Olivia whimpered as she tossed and turned in her uneasy sleep. She dreamt of McNulty's hands grasping at her flesh, devouring it and setting it alit with flame wherever his hand trailed with David looking on in disgust.

She cried out for David to help her, barely seeing him through the darkened flames that McNulty left behind, but he only gazed on, disgusted over the fact that she was letting her body, David's play ground, be violated.

"What the hell would I want with a damaged pussy like that?" David spat before he turned and walked away, leaving the brunette at the cruel mercy of her attacker.

Olivia awoke with a start, roused by a gentle knocking at the front door, tears streaming down her face, her night clothes soaked through with sweat. A sob caught in her throat as the nightmare refused to fade away; still able to feel the heat on her skin she thought for sure had been real before.

There was another timid knock on the door and Olivia cleared her throat as she threw the covers off her, glancing at her clock radio and groaning gently when she saw it was almost noon. She had gotten only three hours of sleep that was ran rampant with nightmares that woke her up every half hour or so. Didn't people understand all she wanted was sleep?

"Coming," she called out to the knocker, cringing as her voice gave the person clear cut evidence she had been crying.

Olivia wiped her tears as she shuffled out to the living room. She glanced through the peep hole and was almost over come with another wave of tears as she saw the person on the other side of the door.

Trembling slightly, Olivia blinked away the newly formed tears and slowly opened the door, hoping to God this was just another nightmare.

"Can I help you, Lieutenant Tucker?" Olivia greeted, wincing once more as her voice betrayed her.

Tucker appeared far less smug and condescending than usual. One would almost say he held a look of pity. "I assume you know what this is about?"

A fresh batch of tears gathered in her eyes. "I have a fairly good idea."

Tucker nodded towards the inside of her apartment. "Do you mind if I come in?"

Olivia shook her head and moved out of the way, allowing the man who most of her squad decided had a personal vendetta against.

"What happened to you," Tucker began before Olivia even got the door all the way shut, "has put me in a very unique position, Detective Benson."

"You don't waste any time do you?" Olivia chided as she turned and sat on the couch, wincing from the pain the simple action brought her.

Tucker swallowed hard when he heard the almost silent exclamation of pain. "I received a call from the 6-66th this morning around nine AM where several officers from that precinct strongly believe you made a false rape report against one of their officers. An Officer Ian McNulty who claims he had sex with you in the back of his squad car and you turned into a blubbering emotional mess when he said he didn't want to continue your relationship past that of a one night stand."

"That bastard ra-!... Violated me!" Olivia choked out. "It wasn't consensual and it sure as hell wasn't a relationship!" she spit, the mere idea making her want to gag. "Tucker, you can't-!"

"Then," Tucker continued holding up a hand to silence her. "Not even twenty seconds after I hang up the phone I received a call from the 1-6th and Captain Cragen is telling me that Officer Ian McNulty was arrested for raping one of his detectives and that it was merely a courtesy call asking for anything IAB has on McNulty and that the 1-6 will, and I quote, 'handle this piece of worm shit'. While Cragen didn't name names, it wasn't that hard to figure out two and two."

Olivia swallowed hard as she looked up towards Tucker, his face emotionless and giving away nothing of what he thought.

"So which one do you believe?"

Tucker sighed as he went and sat on the arm chair next to the couch and glanced over at her. "I've been assigned SVU since I first transferred from Homicide to Internal Affairs. I know how serious you take the cases you deal with. I know that you wouldn't even say you were violated by a biker to save you a few years in prison or possibly stay out altogether.

I may not be a fan of yours and your squads methods for getting results, but I know you well enough to know you wouldn't destroy someone else's life or label him the worst possible thing living in your eyes just because he only wanted a quickie and not a marriage. But I still need statements of what happened from both of you. No matter who I believe," he added as he glanced over towards her.

"Okay," Olivia muttered, unsure of what else to say.

Tucker gave her a curt nod as he reached in his pocket and pulled out that all too familiar blue notebook he pulled out every time he talked to her. "I thought Cragen said he was handling it?" Olivia said as Tucker pulled a blue fountain pen from his inside left pocket.

"And you know all too well how many things go over both our heads. Plus I'm internal affairs. I'm supposed to be mutual and not take a side in this mess. I gotta investigate this like you're both in the wrong."

"I was attacked, Tucker," Olivia said none too gently. "I wasn't in ANY wrong…"

"I know that," Tucker assured her gently. "But this is a complicated case, Detective. You're both officers of the law. I need to work this like you're both guilty."

"I did nothing wrong," Olivia repeated a bit harsher then she had intended.

Tucker held up his hand to silence her. "Just… just start from the beginning."

Olivia nodded, although the looming thought of retelling her story over again almost sickened her to the point of disbelief.

"I got a call at around three thirty from one of my victims, Kristen Montague, saying her husband, a man who raped and beaten her previously, was in her home," Olivia began, leaving out the part that she had been in bed with her boyfriend who was exceptionally high in the New York City DA's office. She knew it'd come out sooner or later and that it would hit the fan at an exceptionally high rate of speed, but she wasn't ready to deal with that just now. "I told her I'd be right there and I put in the call to Cragen who put out the call to the patrol vehicles.

I took my own personal car knowing it'd waste more time if I drove to the precinct and grabbed my squad car even though my own car doesn't have lights or sirens."

Olivia waited while Tucker wrote down that part before he nodded at her to continue. Olivia started her tale up once more, answering the questions Tucker posed at her without hesitation or breaking away from his eyes. Up until Olivia told him about McNulty asking if she was drunk, Olivia hadn't hesitated a single moment in her answers or explanations on why she had done what she did. "Had you been drinking, Detective?" Tucker asked, eyeing her carefully.

Olivia took a deep breath and decided the truth, in this case, would be better told. "I was the guest of honor at the NYPD Detective of the Year Ceremony and I had a few glasses of wine but that was hours before the attack. I had a minor hangover when I was driving to her house but was in no way intoxicated enough that it impaired my driving or that he could small or notice."

Tucker simply nodded as he wrote down what she had told him, giving her no notice on if she believed her or not about the drinking. "Go on."

Once again Olivia retold her story and managed to get through it until the part where McNulty stopped in the ally way and climbed in the back seat with her.

"He… he said that… that I'm a cop so I... I already know he knows how to do this without leaving a mark," Olivia told the Lieutenant, her voice shaking. "He told me if I didn't let him…. I didn't let him 'fuck me'. He was gonna arrest me for DWI, assaulting a police officer, and resisting arrest. I… I asked him… I asked him please." Tears were now rolling down Olivia's face and her voice was nothing but a whisper. "But he didn't care. He… he ra- … he raped me."

"Detective, I know this is hard for you but I need the smaller details so I can question him about it. If I don't get them then it'll look like you made up the attack and I don't want you to be made out to be a liar," Tucker explained softly as if he hated asking her for more then what she had given him.

"I know," Olivia sniffed as she wiped some of her tears away. "I know, it's just… it's hard."

Olivia took another deep and after taking a few moments to collect herself, she began to tell him the more detailed story of what happened to her. Tucker asked nothing and stayed dead silent until Olivia paused, hesitant to admit that she had cried out to David to help her but she also knew it was in her official statement and if she omitted it from here, it'd look like she was lying. "While he was… in- inside me... I… I called out for… for my boyfriend."

Tucker's eyes widened at the new information, his hand ceasing to write this new information. "You have a boyfriend?"

Olivia nodded, already feeling the fear that David would be exposed at this. That he would get in trouble because of what had happened to her. "Yeah. We've been dating for six months. Nobody knows."

"Who is it?"

"No one important," Olivia lied. "And he's not involved so can we please move on?"

"If it's no one important then why the secrecy?"

"Because it's no one's business but my own," Olivia snapped.

That all too familiar 'are you really trying to lie to me?' face that usually was imprinted on Tuckers face returned with a vengeance.

He knew merely from the hesitation regarding even mentioning him that he was someone of importance and even if she was a victim, he still had a duty to uphold cops to the standard that came with their badge.

"You're lying to me. He's someone that you wouldn't want us or someone else finding out about. Who is he, Detective?"

Olivia threw a glare at him but he held his firm look as easily as it had come. "What's your boyfriend's name? Tell me now or else it'll come out in the investigation and it'll be very bad for you."

Olivia thought desperately of a reason as to why she was being hesitant other then the truth. "He's married," Olivia threw out finally. "That's why I don't want people knowing his name. It'll embarrass me and him and his family. Tucker, if you have any decency at all, you'll leave him and them out of this."

Tucker shook his head in disbelief. "You're willing to lie and make yourself look like a home wrecker; yes I know you're lying about him being married. The fact you thought I'd believe that is almost insulting. But never the less, if you're willing to make yourself look that horrible to me and to whomever reads my reports, and then I will, for now, let this slide. But rest assured after this investigation I will get to the bottom of it."

Olivia threw him a sharp glare as she was reminded the reason why she loathed this man.

Ticker folded his hands in front of him and gave her a curt nod. "Please continue."

Olivia did as she was told. Once again, Tucker gave her the courtesy of remaining quiet, not questioning her details of the actual rape until she got to what was the absolute worst part for her. "He threw me out of the car then threw my clothes, badge, and cuffs at me."

"What happened to your gun?"

Olivia's eyes filled with tears that she unsuccessfully tried blinking away. "He um… he took… he took my gun and he… he uh…" Olivia's voice caught in her throat and for nearly a minute she could only sit there, her mouth opening and closing while no words escaped her. Finally after a long bout of silence did she tell the one part of the tale she most despised. "He took my gun and… and he stuck it in- inside me."

Tucker's eyes widened and his jaw fell open. "He stuck your own service revolver… inside you?"

Olivia nodded, tears running down her face at the admission. She tried to wipe them away but for every one she cleared two more were there to take its place. "Christ almighty," Tucker breathed as he ran a hand over his face.

"He told me that was for the attitude," she muttered. "After that he finally left. I got dressed and then called my boyfriend. I told him where I was and to come get me."

"Did you tell him what happened?"

Olivia shook his head. "When he got there I told him I was in a carjacking and to take me to a hospital. When I got there I told the nurse I had a victim in the car who was too embarrassed to come in and asked for the morning after pill and the STD combo."

"Why didn't you want the exam right then?"

"I was embarrassed," Olivia admitted. "I didn't want the rest of my squad finding out but the nurse called Cragen who came to my apartment and convinced me to get the rape kit."

Tucker sighed as he finished up the last bit of information before he flipped his book shut. He ran a hand through his military style cut and placed the book back in his pocket. "I'm sorry this happened to you," he muttered gently. "I promise I'm gonna get to the bottom of this."

Olivia said nothing as Tucker stood up and offered her a curt nod. "I'll be in touch, Detective. Get some rest."

With that, Tucker turned and headed out, gently shutting the door behind him.

Olivia leaned her head back against the couch and felt a tear slip down her face. Now that Tucker knew the story that she had been violated would spread like absolute wild fire. People would know she wasn't strong enough to fend for herself.

Olivia wiped her face with the back of her sleeve and stood up, once again wincing at the pain as she made her way to her bed room.

Just as she was about to collapse on the bed, her cell rang, being met with a loud groan from its owner.

With a sigh Olivia picked up the phone. "Benson," she muttered into the phone, making it all too clear the caller was unwanted.

"You're gonna pay for lying, bitch!" the voice shouted at her.

Olivia stared at the phone in shock for a long moment before she put it back to her ear. "Who is this?" she barked. "How did you get this number?"

"Everyone knows you're nothing but a whore! Leave McNulty alone, you lying cunt!"

"Tell me your name now!"

But Olivia was met with nothing more than a beep signifying that the caller had hung up.

Olivia looked at the caller log on her phone, throwing it down on the bed when she saw it was an unknown number. Before she even put it to her ear, she could already hear another voice screaming foul names at her.

Olivia quickly hung up the phone but before she was able to put it on the stand, it rang again. "Leave me alone!" she screamed into the receiver, sobbing as she did so.

"Then you leave McNulty alone, you lying bitch!"

She hung up the phone again but this time she took the battery out completely, slamming the contents down on the stand.

Letting out a sob, Olivia collapsed on the bed, crying out for anybody to rid her of this living nightmare…

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