Disclaimer: I don't own Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

Notes: I am moving quite a long span of time forward in the flashbacks for a few reasons – one, while some of the other stuff that happens in between the Bobbi-Kara confrontation is interesting and part of the backstory that builds up to the Kara of 2019, they're not vitally important to the story I want to tell here. Secondly, this scene fits perfectly with where the story is in the present, so it makes perfect sense to tie them in together. I may go back and detail some of the events of the intervening ten or so months, such as a scene or two from Kara's fling with Lance Hunter, but at the moment, we're jumping ahead. Pay attention to the dates, or things might get confusing. ^^

Note 2: As with the Bobbi-Kara scene, I'm breaking the flashback here into two parts in two chapters, though in this case it's for thematic reasons.

Thanks to Riley Holden/Colormeblue and LisaMichelle25 for their assistance as beta-readers.

Enough Good Left After All

By Alkei

Chapter 7: Apparently You're Both Stupid

Kara's Room, The Playground

March 20th, 2016

Now that things with Lance are over, I should probably look into a transfer. It wasn't as if there was much else keeping her here in the Playground in particular. She'd been operating out of S.H.I.I.E.L.D.'s Central American headquarters, in Belize, for about half a year before she'd started her little fling with Lance – and gotten to watch the veiled looks of jealousy, anger and occasional pain from Morse as a result – and Kara wouldn't mind heading back down there. For one, those damned fish pills were less common than they were in the U.S. and Canada. Sure, people there took them, but fewer people did overall. So even less chance of being sent after the 'NuHumans'.

No, in Central America the main mission was dealing with Hydra 3.0.'s links to the drug trade and other international criminal activity. And occasionally other matters – she hadn't been sent after any 0-8-4s, even though one had turned up in Guatemala a few months back.

Kara had no problem with being not selected for the 0-8-4 mission, to be honest. 0-8-4s were a mess and a half, and she didn't want to get anywhere near the damn things. Infiltrating Hydra and its allies or potential allies with the use of the mask... that suited her and her talents just fine, thank you very much. Alien tech, crazy weird super-science and all that other stuff? A little bit too dangerous and unpredictable for her tastes. 'NuHumans' were as well. She had no problems with them, but she didn't want to have to go up against someone who, for example, had their own personal taser built into their hand, like Skye's boyfriend, the Sparkplug himself.

Or that crazy purist guy who looked like a monster from a horror movie. What was his name? Lash?

I think so. Whatever the hell his name is, I'd rather fight humans. Easier to kill, easier to beat. Easier to subdue and capture.

And really, normal humans made sense. Crazy alien powers? Yeah, not so much.

Kara was jolted out of her thoughts by the sound of knocking on her door. Blinking, Kara lowered her book and checked the time on her phone. It was nearly midnight. Who the hell would be knocking on her door at this hour? If there was a mission or something, it wouldn't be a polite knock on the door.

I suppose it could be Lance. They'd parted ways on their little fling, but she still counted him as a friend, and she was fairly confident the reverse was true for him. Kara stood and walked to the door opening it.

Of all the people it could have been, she didn't expect it to be Skye. The Hacker/Inhuman was standing there, a bottle of Vodka in one hand and two glasses in the other. The bottle was maybe a quarter empty, and from the look of Skye, Kara had a pretty good bet where the contents had gone.

"Skye." Kara didn't bother to hide her contempt. "What the hell do you want?"

Skye took a breath before answering. "Look, I know you don't like me. I know it's late. And in the morning, I'm probably going to regret coming here, but you're the only one on this base I can talk to about this." She held up the bottle. "Give me five minutes and if you still want me out of the room, I'll leave. I'll even let you keep the bottle."

Kara stepped aside. "Not a big enough fan of vodka for that to be a good thing. Five minutes." Kara couldn't help but be curious. During the rare times they were on the base at the same time, Skye tended to avoid her as much as she avoided Skye. So what is it that she wants to talk about with me? Why would she be the only one Skye could talk to about whatever it was?

The only commonality Kara could see between them that Skye might not be able to bring up with anyone else was Grant. I don't need to hear her talking shit about Grant again.

Skye walked in and sat in the chair opposite the bed. She poured vodka into each glass and handed one to Kara, who took it, but didn't drink. Skye, on the other hand, downed hers in almost an instant.

"I broke up with Lincoln this afternoon." Skye said slowly. Okay. And this is my affair why? Kara had known, in passing, that Skye was dating the electrically-charged Inhuman, but she'd only seen him once or twice, and had no real opinion about the guy at all. "The reason I gave him – the reason everyone else is going to know, I suppose, is the Index, and S.H.I.E.L.D... Lincoln's priority is our people. Mine is S.H.I.E.L.D. We're never going to completely agree. But..." Skye rolled her eyes a little. "That's not... that's not why I just let things peter out." She poured herself another glass and drank half of it.

Slow down Skye, or there won't be any bottle left by the time your five minutes are up.

"The problem with Lincoln wasn't that we disagreed about Inhumans, or the Index. It was a small difference. The problem is that he isn't Ward."

Whatever Kara had expected Skye to say, that wasn't it.

"What are you saying?" Kara took a small sip from her own glass. She didn't hate Vodka, but it wasn't her preferred alcohol. But damn – if Skye was saying what Kara thought she was. I need a freaking drink.

"I'm saying -" Skye let out a long sigh that ended with a small hiccup. She frowned a moment and lowered her glass. "When you were in the Vault – you told me that Ward was so in love with me that you never had a chance. That that's why you hated me."

"I remember. And it was a big part of it. Still kind of is, I have to admit." Kara replied. It was... stupid, maybe, to hold on to her hate for Skye on that front. But she couldn't let it go. Not completely. Skye's other offenses were worse in Kara's mind but that detail didn't help things much.

"Well, the problem with Lincoln wasn't Lincoln. I mean... he's a great guy." She managed a fake smile, "He's cute, he can be pretty funny, he's nice, he's caring, he's got a lot to recommend him... but -" She swallowed. "The deep dark secret is: I'm still too in love with Ward for Lincoln to really have had a chance."

Kara grimaced. She got why Skye would come to her. Who else could she raise the topic around? FitzSimmons? Yeah, not so much. Couldn't bring it up around May or Coulson or anyone else. No one on this base had any positive words or feelings for Grant but her. But Kara didn't want to hear this. She didn't want to know that Skye was in love with Grant. I can only be glad that Grant doesn't know this at all. As far as she was concerned, Skye didn't deserve Grant. And given her behavior toward him...

"You love him? If that's how you feel, Skye, you've had a funny way of showing it." Kara took another sip from her glass, then looked at it and emptied it. Skye handed her the bottle without comment. There was a distant look on her face.

"You know, I said almost the exact same thing to him once, back when he first told me that he had feelings for me, when we first talked about... about an us." Skye's voice was soft as Kara poured herself another glass. "There was a brief moment there, when I thought that everything would work out. That even if S.H.I.E.L.D. had fallen, the Team would be fine. That the little family I'd found would come out the other end safe and sound. Sure, everything had gone to hell around us," Skye emptied her own glass. "But... the guy I was in love with felt the same way and..." She let herself trail off for a moment. "And then I found Eric Koenig's body, and then...It felt like something had reached inside me and just... tore me apart. But the problem was... I couldn't just turn off how I felt about him. I couldn't accept that everything had been a lie."

"It wasn't." Kara told her. "That's not how deep cover works." Never once had Kara stopped to think about it from Skye's perspective. She didn't really want to. She wanted to hate Skye – still did, this wasn't going to change that, Kara suspected – and it was easier to do that when you just looked at it from one perspective, even if Grant had refused to hate her from that perspective. "Lying about everything – it's impossible. You've got to keep as close to yourself as you can."

"Maybe." Skye allowed. "But that didn't – doesn't – change the fact that Ward is a liar. A murderer. A traitor. That however I feel about him, I can't trust him. That he tried to kill my best friends, and knew Garrett was the guy who had me shot and didn't do anything about it. However I feel about him... it doesn't matter. It doesn't change the fact that he's a monster." Kara was about to respond instinctively – liar, murderer and traitor Grant technically was, yes, even if it was a lot more complicated than that. But- he wasn't a monster, and she wasn't going to let Skye say that without response.

"I know you think Ward isn't a monster." Skye interrupted. "I don't understand how – but after what he did, what he's done, there's nothing else to see, from where I sit. But it doesn't change the fact that I love him. That I wish things could be different. That I hate myself every day, for not hating him enough." Skye poured herself another drink. "God, I shouldn't have drunk the beer I did before coming here. I shouldn't have even come here. I shouldn't be telling you this."

"But you are." Kara pointed out harshly. "You hate yourself for loving him. I hate you because of what you did to him. But like you said, I'm the only person you can talk to." She took a sip from her glass and grimaced again. This wasn't even especially good vodka. But then, the quality of the alcohol wasn't really the point. "Grant is... a hard guy to get over." She said after pausing for a long moment. Understatement of the century. "You say you don't trust him, but I'd trust him with my life." Kara wondered why she was talking to Skye at all. Skye was being so verbose because she was drunk. Or had been drinking. And probably because she'd needed someone to talk to about this for a long time.

Then again, that's probably why I'm talking with her at all on this. The subject of Grant just wasn't one she could talk about in S.H.I.E.L.D. Not with anyone.

"And I don't understand that." Skye replied. "But that's not really the point. What I did to Grant... compared to what he did..." She looked down. "Doesn't make what I said to him in the Vault right. When I told him he should have run faster. I was wrong. I shouldn't have. I made a mistake. God, no, that makes it sound like I knocked a glass over. I... I was so angry at him. For what he did. Because I blamed him for the fact that I still loved him him and hated myself for it... especially then, with Fitz still... barely there, and... I just... I didn't want to see him. I didn't want to think about him. I wanted him to -"

Skye let out a long breath. "I wanted him to not want to see me again. I just... I was so angry at him and at myself and... I just lashed out at him. I'm not really a fan of the person I've become since S.H.I.E.L.D fell, you know... but who I was then, those early months, so... bitter and angry... I was trying to be like May. I'm not May. I'm me." She shook her head, closing her eyes for a moment. "I mean, it's not like I'm not still angry at Ward, for everything he did. I still hate myself just a little for still being in love with him. But... it is what it is." She emptied her glass again. Her words were getting a slight slur to them – nothing major, but enough. "What we could have had... Ward and I... it just loomed over everything with Lincoln. Ward's gone and ruined me, apparently. But even if... even if Ward had somehow stuck around, kept working with Coulson on stuff... there's nothing that could happen."

"I can't trust him, can't... after everything he's done. There's no way... but apparently there's no way I can be really happy with anyone else." Skye rubbed at one eye for a moment.

Daniel Martel's Apartment, Indianapolis, Indiana

May 7th, 2019

She's the only woman I've ever loved.

Kara would have been telling the world's biggest lie if she denied that answer made her gut wrench. However much she'd worried it was the case, however much she'd been prepared to hear it from him... to finally hear it. She took a step back, felt one hand curl into a fist. She felt her body shake a little, in anger or just... upset, she didn't know.

Kara closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She heard Grant's voice a moment later.

"Kara – I-" He cut himself off. "Kara. I'm sorry."

Sorry for what? Being in love with Skye, even though she shot you in the back four times? Even though she thinks you're a monster? Sorry for telling me the truth after I demanded it from you?

"No." Kara held up her other hand and brought it up to rest on her temple. "I told you to tell me the truth. I wanted to know. And now you've told me. It's not like I wasn't afraid this was the case. I've had four years to think about everything." And three years to know that Skye still loves you.

Part of her really didn't want to tell Grant that fact. She was still firmly of the opinion that Skye didn't deserve Grant. That any relationship between them would be a mistake. She'd been of that opinion since that March 20th three years ago. Not just because she'd have preferred Grant have a relationship with her, but... everything else too.

But at the same time... knowing what she did now...

She couldn't keep something like that from Grant. She would have to tell him, sooner or later. They were friends, whatever else, and...

But still...

How the hell can she be the only woman he's ever loved? How can he still love her after what she did to him?

"I'm sorry, Grant," Kara said, realizing she'd been silent for far too long. "But -" Kara realized the door to his bedroom was still open and went over to close it. Still standing by it, she started again. "I'm sorry, but what the fuck? In what universe does that even begin to make sense? Why the hell do you still love her? She told you that you should have tried harder to kill yourself, was just fucking eager to see you handed over to your brother, and shot you in the back four times when you were trying to help her!" Kara was yelling, though not too loudly. Still, the angry venom in her words should have been enough to peel the wallpaper.

Grant dragged a hand across his face, then spoke, his hands moving away from his head as if he was pulling his thoughts out with his words. "You think I like this? You think I like loving a woman who hates me? Who could never love me back? You think I like being so in love with Skye that I can't even be a little happy with anyone else? I know there's no future between me and Skye. I know that nothing can happen between us."

Well, yes, there's no future between you two, but she doesn't hate you. Not exactly. And she does actually love you.

"I know all that, and sometimes I wish to God that I didn't love her so much, but I do. All I need to do -" He paused, looking past her a little. When he spoke again, his voice was softer. "All I need to do is just... just think about her smile. The way just being around her could just make everything... brighter. The way... the way she would look at me sometimes. I can't tell you why I love her. I could stand here and list all the positive traits about her, all the things about her I love, but... at the end of the day..."

Grant swallowed. "At the end of the day, I love her. There's nothing about that that I can change. She's the only woman I've ever loved. I tried to move on from her, to forget her. To let go of my feelings. I meant what I said to you back in that hotel room. She made it pretty clear that she doesn't feel anything but hate for me. I guess I am insane though. I tried to move on – but just... just seeing her again, when we were working with Coulson..."

He shook his head. "It just brought it all back. I can't move on. I love her, and that isn't going to change."

Kara crossed her arms in front of her, unable to resist glaring at Grant. The conversation she'd had with Skye so long ago was replaying in her mind. But she was also seething. I still don't get it. What the hell is it about her? He'd tried, but he was right, love wasn't something you could explain. Or at least that's what everyone said.

Skye didn't deserve him. And she wasn't any good for him. But he loved her anyway. It made no earthly sense. The whole thing was crazy, from top to bottom.

"I still don't understand it." Kara told him, managing to force herself to speak more levelly.

"You don't need to pretend you're not angry at me, Kara." Grant said softly.

"I'm not angry at you, Grant." Kara disagreed. "I asked you to tell me the truth. I demanded it. And... like I said, it isn't like I didn't consider this possibility. I don't understand it. I don't understand why you love a woman you think hates you. I don't think anything could or should happen between you. You should have given up on her a long time ago. You deserve to be happy with someone, even if that person isn't me."

"Kara-" Granted started, but she shook her head and cut him off.

"Yes, I had feelings for you four years ago. Pretty strong ones. And maybe you were genuine in trying to return them. But it's been four years. I was in a very different place then. I didn't come here expecting anything. We're still friends. I wanted to see if maybe we could be more, but I was afraid it wasn't likely. I-" Kara swallowed. "I'll admit that it's hard to hear that you still love her. That she's the only woman you've ever loved." She swallowed and lowered her hands, slipping them into her pockets. "I'm going to need a little bit of time not around you to deal with it all. But that's not the real issue. The issue is that you've damned yourself to being alone because you love Skye so much. And that – I don't like that. Even if somehow you and Skye could date, there's no way that could end in anything but tears or one of you killing each other."

Grant chuckled humorlessly. "There's no way anything could start without her shooting me again well beforehand."

Not exactly.

"No." She took a breath. "You're an idiot, Grant, you know that, right? You're in love with a woman you can't ever have, and you've had five years to let go." And Skye has had five years to move on from you, and she hasn't had a successful relationship in that time either. Unlike Grant, Skye had tried to date, from what Kara had picked up – even in S.H.I.E.L.D. there was gossip – but none of them had worked out. None of them had lasted the nearly eight months that her thing with Lincoln had either. Skye was a profoundly unhappy woman when it came to her relationships. Kara suspected the woman hated Grant for that, for 'ruining' her for other men.

Not that I understand that either. If you can't trust him, how can you love him? For Kara, she'd trusted Grant implicitly. It was why she'd been able to fall in love with him or whatever exactly it had been with him four years ago. If she hadn't trusted him so completely, she wouldn't have been able to love him.

And yet, the reverse was apparently true for Skye. She didn't know if Grant trusted Skye. From the sound of it though... no, he didn't. She couldn't help but feel a slightly smug sense of... take that for the hacker. Love or not, neither of them really thought anything could happen.

Which... on the one hand, she liked.

But on the other hand...

Grant deserves to be happy. If I tell him, it's going to give him hope. Which... well, he could use, on the subject of Skye.

But at the same time... hope was really the last thing Grant needed. Nothing could happen. From what Skye had said and done just earlier today, it was pretty damn clear that she still wasn't past what he'd done. A small part of Kara could understand that, as much as she hated to give Skye even an inch. So telling Grant that Skye loved him...

It would only give him false hope. Because love alone didn't conquer all, apparently. So much for what the writers of trashy Romance novels thought.

If love conquered all, if the world worked like what those books say, then I would have been able to sway him with my own feelings then. Our four years of absence would have only made the heart grow fonder...

Well, that wasn't how it had worked, apparently.

"I don't – I don't understand why neither of you can let this go." Kara hadn't meant to say it like that, and she saw the way Grant's eyes narrowed, head tilted a little. Well, damn. "I don't understand why you both can't just have normal, healthy relationships with anyone – anyone – else. But apparently you're both stupid and can't be happy with other people." Kara bit the bullet and told him. "And not that she deserves you in any way but, for what it's worth, she still loves you. Never stopped." Kara shook her head, let out an angry cry/growl, clenching her hands into fists. She left Grant's room a moment later. She needed to be away from him for a little bit.

Why the hell does this have to be the case?

Why did Grant have to love Skye and Skye have to love Grant? If these two people were anyone else in the world, she'd have told them both to suck it up and get on with it.

But with these two people?

Not really an option. Or desirable.